What'll it be, Jow Forums?

What do you have on tap?

It's not funny, I used to babysit her and make pancakes for her and read and what have you. It's so weird.

All is lost

A Single Plum, Floating in Perfume, Served In a Mans Hat

a water please

Damn, can't be easy living with a whore!

I'll take a board wide ban of incels shitting it up constantly with boring stories and whining

That sounds gross.
Can you even drink perfume?
I figured from the smell it must be poisonous.

One jug coming up
She led me on and then went out on a date last night either some dude
I'm over it pretty much but why the fuck do I always get saddled with chicks that waste my fucking time?
Do I have a sign in my head that says free time killer?

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Why would that bother you ?
She's on a roll and you would do the exact same thing if you weren't an autistic nerd

No friend, the only poison was the woman behind the perfume.

two shots of vodka

>Implying they aren't all lying out their asses
Confirmed for not having any experience with teenage girls when you were in high school

That's your fault for not being worth someone's time

Be undeniable or be quiet

1 Shot of steaming hot trap semen

Smooth

Maybe she's lying to fit in.

>porn binge on a weekend
>play with my bits lightly for a few hours
>edge for another hour
>going crazy at this point can only think of busting
>figure I'll blow it for distance, no faggy tissue/towel to stop my streams
>try to hold off each contraction to boost load size
>three spurts of thick hot cum
>legit saw it steaming before the dopamine got me staring at nothing like a retard
10/10 would waste an evening playing with myself again.

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>didn't even say how far it went

If I'm not worth their time then why the fuck do they lay it on so hard in the beginning and then all of a sudden slam the brakes out of nowhere?
I don't change what I do so it's not like I did anything to make them not be into me. Is it because I didn't make a move?

>tfw 26 year old virgin
>tfw where did it all go so wrong

Just someone to talk to, feeltender

bloody mary. without the fucking celery.

>>I don't change what i do
Bingo
You're campaigning with no surprises.
It's like showing all your cards on the first date
You should be withholding seeming not that great and surprise them with how great you are
Like I said, be undeniable and especially don't be looking for them to repeat past girls behavior. No one wants to be judged against some random thot they've never even met

Havent hit the gym in like 5 days, been busy and also super lazy. I can feel the gains withering away. Tomorrow I will hit the gym hard.

>iktfb

the struggle is real

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And OBVIOUSLY you should be making the move

Bulleit Rye Neat

I meant "for distance" as an expression, I aimed it at the wall of the bathroom sink so the flight range was pretty limited.
Also even if I had done it with plenty of clearance I think I'd have forgotten to measure.

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Sei best girl

Do you think he'd be happy if he could see himself today?

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>You're campaigning with no surprises.
Well put
I've been told by several people I trust that I should just shut my fucking mouth and hardly give out any info because it'll make me look extremely mysterious and get them wanting more but I have a hard time doing it because I'm extroverted as fuck and really enjoy talking to people
Any suggestions on how to control myself? Also doesn't help that I'm of the practice of respond to texts when you get them because it's how you'd want other people to treat you.
What's the absolute longest I can go without making one before I fuck myself(on average)?

Gimme the .308, boss.

Course he would, he enjoyed his life and still does and is doing what he has wanted to do since he was a child
Maybe not a fan of how wide he has become but I think he'd just be happy knowing he didn't turn into a decrepit old geezer

vodka with one scoop, thanks.
this cut's making me miserable, combined with the fact that i'm fucking up all my finals, i haven't been hitting the gym as often as i'd like, and my chest looks like shit. feels like i'll have to wait another summer to actually try chad shit.

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Glock 19.

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>broke up with gf not too long ago
>we ended on good terms, so we're still friendly. never thought twice about it since.
>fast forward to last night, getting ready to go out for cinco celebrations
>see a snapchat story of her cosmic bowling with some of her friends
>feeling of missing her hits like a fucking truck
>mfw

i hate love and all feelings associated with it, bros. should've stuck with the one-night stands only.

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>Keeping her on Snapchat
Don't give a fuck how well your terms ended are or how strong your willpower is when you see her post videos of her with dudes friends or no your protective instics will make it hurt doesn't matter how long ago it was.
Imo you should delete Snapchat because it's an app for women anyway
Stop skipping your fucking workouts and get your shit together on your studies
Lifts compliment school work in that it activates your competitive side.
Pump the mind

had in there bruv, life takes a turn for the worse until you find yourself in a better spot.

take her off snapchat
look at the bigger picture, theres more to life than whatever is currently going on in your life
dont run from the emotions but accept them for what they are and take responsibility for the things in your control, forget about the rest.

you'll make it

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Seltzer water with a lemon wedge, please!

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Nice meme.

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Whoops, wrong stats.

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Scotch
this is what happens when you don't fuck your sister yourself

One Sip please!
>Go to Pizza Hut after watching brothers track meet with family
>See qt azn girl working another table, restaurant is pretty empty
>Just want to say to her that she is cute
>Family starts to tease me about me looking over at her so much
>Family is walking out of the restaurant, quickly move over to the girl wiping tables down
>Say to her, "Hey, I just wanted to say you were cute."
>"Oh, you are cute too!" (I saw her peeking at me a bit)
>"Have a nice rest of your day!"
>She smiled
I didn't have any plan on asking her out, as my brother's school is 2 hours away from where I live, also I didn't have my phone on me. It just feels fun trying to get out there after breaking up with my ex and being cooped up and moping for so long. Maybe we will make it.

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This.

I had a moment of happiness this morning which break up my usual sorrow and feeling like shit
>Her birthday today
>Got her a nice edition of her favorite book, wrote a letter, and bookmarked her favorite line in the book for her
>Left it on her doorstep last night
>She texts me this morning saying that was the most precious thing anyone has ever done for her, mentioned my letter and how I found the quote
I've always struggled with the question of finding meaning in life, I'm constantly feeling shitty of how I often waste time. I don't know if she's still thinking of it, or if she's already forgotten about it and just enjoying her birthday, but for one moment I made her happy, and that counts a lot for me. I did something meaningful, something I can look back on and smile at

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>be me
>have *nearly* sex at age 12
>18 now
>zero sexual partners

Kill me

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Ill have a manhattan with devils cut whiskey drown the cherry under the rocks.
Shell have a long island blowjob
And you get a quickie in the bathroom.

Hendricks gin and tonic with cucumber.
Why didn't I just ask her... I had nothing to lose.
Shit.

A proteinshake-cyanide jagerbomb pls

i know where it went wrong for me

>being ugly
>never asking a girl out in my life
>being friendless

One protein shake, please. Give me strength to get through the day.

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i'll be getting them next friday, but
2 shots of paclitaxel
1 of ifosfamide
and 1 of cisplatin
all in a collins glass and cherry as garnish