I'll start.
>Be me
>A few hours ago
>At restaurant with friends
>Friend is on phone
>"Say hello, user"
>Autism kicks in
>"Suck my dick"
>"That's my mom"
>Fuck.png
>Run out of the restaurant
>They don't follow me
>mfw I can't go to his house anymore
>mfw I think I have tourettes
Any robots done stuff like this?
bee you emm pee b-u-m-p bump bumping this thread
>In the elevator with a cutie 8/10
>I need to fart
>try to stealth fart
>BiggestBrapInMyLife.Avi
>longest 30 seconds in my life
>quickly leave the elevator
the thing you did is alright, easy to forgive. but holy shit you fucked it up by running away. but its easy to recover but you have to accept you'll be made fun of
>be me
>see a friend walking down the street
>wave at him
>oh shit that's not him
>he looks at me as if I'm a retard
>quickly walk away
>get born
There is the time my retarded ass almost made my dad look like a pedo.
>Be me
>Be 10 Year old new kid at new school
>Have crush on qt girl in a different class
>Be innocent kid that doesn't even know what a BJ is yet.
>I try to talk to kids but everyone talks about stuff that they have seen on Facebook.
>smartPlanIncoming.AVI
> Ill just go on facebook and message her that I like her so I can be a cool kid
>Only problem is that I dont have an email to make an account
>I just log in as my dad and find QTs account
>My retarded ass messaged her a white night level cringe love letter a 10 year old girl
>My mom was checking through my dads account the next morning because she needed to research someone.
>ohFuck.jpg
>She freaked out when she saw the DM and woke me up.
>Mom:"user WHY DID YOU USE YOUR DADS ACCOUNT FOR THIS YOU REALIZE WHAT THIS COULD MEAN RIGHT"
>Me:"My dad is cool for letting me use his account? Im cool and have a gf? "
>Mom:"NO.... Ill explain it to u later your lucky i don't wake your father up and tell him about this"
smoothCriminal.GIF
That girl ended up making fun of me for using my dads account like a loser and I looked a giga tard, I did a bunch of googling in middle school and I eventually became less innocent by 6th grade. Moral of the story: Don't trust your friend compass when it aint hard for Jesus.
bump bump bumumpti
>Find hot couple fucking in a secluded place in the park
>Sneak closer and watch with awe
>Get caught and incredibly embarrassed
>The other girl notices me checking them out though especially her guy
>They whisper for a bit and get a sly look
>Offer me to watch if I like
>Get to watch and involved a little bit while getting myself off
>Even get to let the guy fuck me too after
I only went to the park in the first place to take some pictures but ended up a slut.
>99% sure my crush blocked me
>send her the word "Garfield" out of boredom
>it delivers
>ohfuckfuckfuck
>try to apologize
>she screenshots it and puts it on her instagram saying "I'm trying to relax and I get this. Smh"
>she screenshots it and puts it o
>fucked up the post
I CANT FUCKING DO ANYTHING RIGHT
Holy shit, it's lucky that your love letter was something so retarded it could only have been written by a child.
You really must've stalked the shit out of her if a one word message triggered her so badly. Where'd she post the screenshot?
voyeurism is nice but i feel like most guys doing that would just get beat up or something.
The guy was rough with me, if I was a dude I'm sure he'd have beaten me up.
Here's how my third grade teacher told my mom that I had autism.
>Be 8 year old me
>Liked playing Age of Empires II a lot
>Ended up reading about the scenarios campaings were based around
>The tutorial scenario was the one I played the most since I could actually beat it without cheating
>End up talking to my teacher about the history that I've learned
>Go as far as to use the book within' the game to do homework
>Teacher seems pretty pissed at me, I never got why, only recently found out that AoEII isn't historically accurate
I didn't know about the next part until recently.
>The teacher has enough of it, thinks I'm making stuff up
>Contacts my mom to inform her that I have autism
>She's worried that I had become an autist
>She always had her suspicions, I was a loser with no friends with no social skills
>Goes to the doctor herself
>The guy literally says to her "Ma'am, you are either born with autism or you're not, it's not something like a cold"
>She's pretty embarrased that her son is normal although retarded
>Ends up confronting teacher
>Two weeks before the school ends she comes up to me
>"I don't want to see you for the rest of the year"
>Come back home and casually tell my mom that my teacher told me to not come back
>She doesn't question it, seems like she knew already
>End up taking an early vacation and somehow not failing class
Looking back, 8 year old me was pretty fucking chad, driving this woman into insanity and somehow getting an early vacation because of his autism.
scent of a man thread when??
>be me, in kindergarten
>"playing doctor" while I'm supposed to be in class
>somehow know that this is bad and I shouldn't say we were showing each other what our goodies look like
>but they're gonna ask where we were
>decide to make up an alibi and fabricate evidence to support it
>plug the toilets and sinks in one room and run all the water
>water up to our ankles, even plugged the floor drain
>get in trouble for flooding a bathroom instead of for showing each other our crotches and doing outercourse
>ass beat for flooding almost the entire hall
>roastie gets toasty over a direct message saying "garfield"
never contact her again, nothing of value is lost
> be me
> be atheist in church with parents
> listening pastor babbles about evolution, being anti-science, etc.
> gets triggered
> he tells me to have a blessed week
> I tell him, good week minister user
> I ask him how black people came to exist if there's only Adam and Eve
> he gets defensive
> asks me if I believe the bibble
> I say: it could be alegorical
> He gets triggered
> Parents notice
> try to intervene
> minister exposes me as a devil atheist among the church
> get exorcised
> get expelled from church
> get expelled from home
> go to friends house
> fucking niggers
> mfw
>sent a dick pic to my 10th grade teacher by accident when emailing homework
>realize after its been sent
>panic
>she thinks im trying to make it look like an accident on purpose
>she sends a nude back
>fuckingwhat.png
>she was on her work email
>i got expelled, she got fired then spent a year in jail because i was too retarded to change the filenames from "IMG_randomnumbers" to something else
why don't you ask her if you can garfield her pussy?
I was just on the receiving end of that kind of tism today and I too gave them a disapproving expression
>>mfw
>no pic to see yfw
that's the most autistic thing that's come out of that story
no two dimensional array of hexadecimal numbers representing rgb colors can express my feels in this case.
>10th grade, 2012
>girl at my school cosplays regularly
>butthurt because "muh weeaboos" and "muh no costumes rule"
>one day go dressed up as a clown as some kind of """protest""" or something
>spend the better part of 20 minutes arguing with teachers about how "if she's allowed to dress up, I should be too"
>wasn't even funny or entertaining, and I didn't even get my point across very well
>kids probably just saw me as that autistic kid who dressed up as a clown in March and argued with the principal
>still felt like I'd won something
>Gets shunned and exorcised for believing in evolution
Your family is retarded user
>believes in evolution
>calls other people retarded
>>Two weeks before the school ends she comes up to me
>>"I don't want to see you for the rest of the year"
wtf, i fucking hate burger education. i made my 5th grade teacher cry like a bitch because i kept disrupting the class with my autism. said something along the lines of "its not fair the rest of the class, and its not fair to ME" then she stormed out of the room. she didn't come back that day either, i wonder if she was having a heavy period or some shit in hindsight.
That sounds rough user, you bullied her too hard it seems. Also, I don't know if you were implying I was a burger, but I'm from Argentina just to clear that up.
>mfw I had a sensitive medical terminology teacher
He was talking about what a loser he is in front of the whole class, and started talking about how he had a date coming up and how long itd been from his last. Then he started crying like a bitch right on the spot. lol
Fuck you bert
Fucking potato nigger
is this the new bitch lasagna?
oof. there was a math teacher at my high school who worked at target after school and all the Chads would go there and shit on him. fucking pathetic
Thats sudoku inducing.
I had an autistic math teacher and everyone in the class would shit on him, I was failing and in the last week of school I gave him some bullshit sob story and he the cuck actually passed me, with flying colors. Huehue
How would changing the filenames have helped?
share noodz plz
i wouldve been able to tell what ones where dick pics and what were school assignments if they where named "dick pics" and "school assignments"
was she hot
orrigma
What province Argentina-bro
This please thank
>gets ready to spit on the ground
>Notices someone behind me
>stops in mid spit (it's illegal in my country)
>end up spitting in my hand
>look and feel like a autist
What kind of dictatorship do you live in where spitting is illegal