Chad stories
>Be me
>High school
>First year
>Hit up all the girls in my class
>A month passes by
>Hottest girl has he birthday
>Invites me
>Her friends instructs me to striptease for her
>They tie her down in a chair
>Ducttape over her mouth
>Ducttape over her hands
>The girls start filming in a corner
>I come in
>Start my routine
>As I whisper happy birthday in her blonde ear
>She tells me i have bad breath
>Kek
>Bassically say outta here virgins
Duc tape over her mouth but she tells ypu something? Quit roleplaying you omega beta
Her eyes then
Give me a break, it was years ago
they duc taped her eyes? what the fuck
Nah it was a blindfold
What's the point of the strip tease then if she can't see it?
>some guy drops 57$ out his pocket I assume while messing around in there
>I step on said monies and look down to see what all the commotion is about
>Free monies!
>pick up my 57$ and count it
>now notice some guy stopped in front of me staring
>ask if this is his
>he stares for a minute then says no and walks away
>walk to bus
>slip on ice
>manage to save the fall
>stand on one leg doing some matrix move
>pull myself up
>notice girls are mirin
>flex my leg and scream FUNCTIONAL STRENGHT BABY
>turn 360 degrees and keep on walking
>go to bed
>don't wet it
Sup betas
>slept in same bed as gf last night.
>she touched my penor
get gud
Beta OP role-playing after watching porn again
actual ex chad here. is it better to have had and lost or to have never had at all?
>be me
>absolute president of the republic of chad
>girl looks at me
>i look back in her eyes
>a good 5 seconds pass
>sly smile
>it’s my stop
>still havent broken eyecontact
>wink as I walk out
>she’s wetter than a dog at the beach
>while walking out bump into the doors
>fall over
>my superior chad genetics make it so I physically cannot break eyecontact first
>I somewhat drop between train and track
>train starts moving
>Lower half of my body is getting severed and crushed
>cutie is still holding eyecontact but looks in absolute horror and disbelief
>die on the spot from bloodloss and other medical issues
>ascend to heaven slowly knowing fully well that was a strong mire and my chad ancestors are smiling down upon me as I float towards them
Bretty gud day
>At concert for youth such as myself
>final rap band lineup is starting and the day almost done
>girl standing next to me just ingested something from a lunch bag and tossed it on the ground like the filthy liter bug she is
>A few rap musics later while my hands are in the air because I just don't care, I feel someone grab my moosle as to not fall over
>it's liter bug
>she looks delirious
>she starts mumbling in my ear while still holding on to me and suddenly makes a grab for my junk
>stranger danger!
>I ask her what's up and she just says no no no no and then tries to reach into my skinnies but they're a snug fit with my massively average package so she can't breach my defenses
>she then moved in front if me and starts humping my leg
>a few seconds of that tires her out and she slowly slumps to the ground where she eventually unzips my pants
>listening to Kendrick Lamar while some qt slobs on my knob
>notice some fagget staring at me and show a face of disgust at some dude staring at another dude getting sucked off. Fagget probably wished he was her
>finally nut and find out liter bug has a an eco friendly side as she recycles what I just gave her
>she then slumps a little more and holds onto my leg like it's a life raft for the rest of the talent show
Basically called out on your fake stories. Nice try though, virgin
And then everyone cheered
And his name was... Theodore Tesla Einstein
>turn 360 degrees and keep walking
Wouldn't you be going backwards?
r/thathappened reddit user
gtfo
It comes back when you slay another 10/10 brah
never happening. balding. it's over for me boyo
You just blow in from stupid town?
But it's a strip tease?
She's supposed to see
Quit larping
>falling for this bait again
>falling for counter-bait
>implying I wasn't just continuing the chain
Haha! THAT happened!
Right? ... Right guy? Haha ^^/s
OP BTFO
Underrated as fuck, really good chuckle