Mental health thread #21

>tfw the depression comes back

This is why I tried to isolate myself. So I wouldn't get hurt again. But life always finds a way.

no replies?

I'll take your guys' silence as a silent agreement then.

I have had psychosis and I take medication. I also have social anxiety. Trying to overcome anxiety with natural remedy, it helps a little bit.

this doesn't work when you already have permanent brain damage from years / decades of unhealthy diet and habits

wow what good advice I am cured

there's your reply

I'm glad it worked for you
I didn't expect immediate results desu.

read up how personality disorders work.

it's mostly pretty hardcoded unusual ways of thinking, usually due to a unhealthy upbringing.

no amount of organic food or walks will fix that.

on the other hand a healthy diet and healthy sleep will usualy make everything a little bit easier.

>schizo
I had 1 illusion and 1 delusion today
I had one at college, i was seeing that my hands are covered in blood and i kept try to wash it away
The other one was when i came back home, there was a purple hand with red nails pooping out from a door and it was holding my hand tight when i tried to go away.
I was tired asfk so i slept from 3 PM till 8 PM.
Now im gonna waste my time on Jow Forums while im doing math.

are you avoiding taking medication just to be able to keep up with college?

you must have passed over the clause >talking to at least 1 person of each sex (even if they are old) every day.

durr how are you supposed to get over hardcoded ways of thinking if you aren't creating a new mental synthesis brought on from others' healthier thoughts being integrated into your neural network if of thoughts and ideas.

Schizo here, a silent room is still very loud for me. I have music playing at all times in my house and don't even sleep without some video or playlist queued up.

When it's quiet it starts with whispers, and I can't help but strain my hearing to try and understand the undecipherable soft noises... but they know I'm listening and get louder and tell me to stop, or they'll interrupt what I'm trying to think about with such negativity that it's crippling just trying to find a happy moment in silence.

If I talk to them it isn't a conversation - it is an argument and I just plead to be left alone and I hear over and over the worst things I can imagine being true or untrue about myself or anyone I think might like me. Negations of positivity and affirmations that the entire world was designed to bend and form me into a twisted shape like a windswept palm tree bowing to the breeze and eventually breaking.

Sometimes I repeat what the voices say out loud, and more than once someone has heard me and I have no choice but to believe they judged me harshly.

If your voices are actually communicating to you maybe it's your brain's way to deal with repressed guilt - that there's something you did or didn't do that in your heart or deepest mind makes you think you could have/should have stopped her death.

Whether you hold yourself consciously responsible is irrelevant, in your mind it is your fault already and combatting those beliefs could be the way you find your reposeful moment with a quiet mind.

Yeah, and mostly because i think it makes my boring ass life more interesting.There is this thing that i start to lose trust in psychiatrists in my country, my first diagnose was that i had psychopathy and now the diagnose is that i have ASPD with early development of schizophrenia...ik they are similar but i had meds for psychopathy that fucked up my sexuality, i didnt beat my meat once 1 and a half year till i stopped taking meds.
In the end i think i should try to cope with my problems without meds because they have so many side-effects that makes me feel its worse to take meds.I will take meds only if schizo will affect my attention a lot because i dont want to be mentally retarded.

Im the schzio poster above, i have a question for you, do you also have the most common problem thinking ur colleagues want to kill you? It stresses me out combined with the noises from the college, im so stressed out that my colon is all fucked up and it always hurts, ya feel me?

psychiatrists are just dumb retards who follow a list of 'symptoms' and push whatever the market has to offer onto you. they're too conceited to believe that it's all a bunch of bullshit.

UR COLON HURTS CUZ U DONT EAT FIBER/ VEGETABLES/ B-VITAMINS/HEALTHY BACTERIA, WHICH THEN CAUSES UR MENTAL PROBLEMS NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND

U HAV 100TRILLION BACTERIAS LIVING IN UR COLON. MOST OF THEM FEED OFF FIBER. EAT IT.

So probably not a schizo then? How did it first start for you.. scared to get on meds or anything cause I see they usually don't help.. did you have a major breakdown before you got help or did you go at the first signs? Thanks for replying

pretty sure you would make progress doing this but you made it sound like its a instant cure.

things are pretty complicated sometimes.

I know a lot of my problem, but I also dob'*t want to change some of them.

I think a problem with "mental illness" is that there is a clear wrong and right.
neuro diversity has it's points

I have a few weeks off from work so I'm using the time to help ghost write a biography for some boring rich dude who never did anything of note with his life except be born wealthy. Thing is I can only write decent prose when I'm drunk, so I've been hammered for the good part of the day. The ideas and prose just flow a lot better. I write like an imbecile when I'm sober. I don't know why that is, it's some sort of mental block I can't get over with a sober mind.

Also, zero matches on Tinder. So that's going well.
Can't even meet women at my work because every woman is like a decade older than me.

I've got a schizoid disorder and depression and it's hell sometimes. Today's been pretty comfy, tho. Not as bad as some of the last couple weeks. Had a pretty bad breakdown last week, but this week seems to be going better.

there is literally not much else to it. you can't just say 'things are complicated' because everything complicated is only made up of simpler things. The issue here is trying to identify and solve those problems, and thats where talking to other people comes in, they can help solve your problems, especially if they're older, because most of them have either experianced this before or know somebody who has. trying to play up your 'illness' for sympathy is in poor taste, and if you're actively trying to become better others will recognize your efforts. The only problem exists in finding a confidant, which shouldn't be too hard in this lonely world where people are literally killing themselves for any sort of attention on social media.

Im actually very careful with my alimentation, i tried but it seems to be the stress tho.
Im not the average 300 LBS basement gamer boi.

I think you may be sweating the small stuff then. have you had many people reassure you or allay your fears in your social life?

No, i dont talk with anyone from my class i just listen to music in all the free time.

you don't have anyone you can talk to in your life about things? have you tried making friends? even if you don't have many things in common, you can be friends with people, all it takes is a bit of trust, optimism and consistency. trust that they'll have your best interest at heart, optimism that what they say is meant in a positive manner, and consistency that you can be relied upon in a somewhat friendly manner towards them as well.

Im surrounded by normies, also im from easter europe so there is no way i could talk with them about problems like this.Im not here because im ugly or im autistic, im here because my problems wont let me get close to someone even i know how, they would just get scared.

Not so much as they're buying guns and bullets with your/my name on them. But paranoia has a strange ability to make associations.

The phrase "Those the god's strike down they first make proud" leads this one to believe that anytime I receive praise or help it's because they want my fall to be farther and my defeat to be greater.

I don't think anyone wants to kill me, but I think a lot of people want me to kill myself, and they work together to build me up in ways that they can strip away all at once and leave me with nothing. Compliments about work or academic performance are just thinly veiled stabs of jealousy because they want me to feel good for now so that when I fuck up can a wave of "I told you so"s and "Should have"s that happen all at once to hamstring any confidence I had so they can tell me how they've really felt the whole time.

Voices are the only thing that remains after being on a 30mg dose of zyprexa for over a year. I sought help in college because I had these copies of myself that followed me around and kind of coached me. They had different personas and idiosyncrasies and it's how I socialized in high school where peers were regimented and cliquey. Dependent on who I was around or trying to talk to would I focus on the "Me" prescribed to that group. College fucked everything up because the real world isn't high school and people don't fit into a dozen or so boxes.

The me's started fighting, but with teeth and claws and blood that squished in my dorm room carpet when I walked on it. I stayed awake for four days and barely left my bed.

18 days sober
With my psychiatrists help, 4 days since I've been on wellbutrin
Went to work this morning, came home, trued studying for 20 minutes before lying down in bed trying not to cry
I'm very skinny so I'm trying to not beat myself up for eating chocolate ice cream straight out of the tub right now

I plan on going on a walk and taking a shower a little later, like I have been doing, but its a fucking struggle

I have bipolar type 1 and OCD. Still medicated with abilify and lithium, but going off of the antidepressant and quitting drinking at the same time has been brutal

Also I'm shocked anyone replied to the "just have good diet and exercise bro" memester

Been off wellbutrin*
Is there anything worse than noticing a typo right after you hit send