So I have had a gf for 4 months now. I am 22 and this is the only gf I have ever had...

Which is why I have half a mind to leave her now and half a mind to find that fucking faggot whos cock she sucked and beat him in front of her

I really think I could love this girl, and I was never mad that she had previous relations, but NOW, 4 months later I find out from a friend that she had some artsy faggot cock down her FUCKING THROAT. It just enrages me, and not at her, but I feel like finding and killing the guy.

>We havent fought, she pays for most of the meals and wine etc, and the sex is really good. She says I am the best she has been with

you need to shut up and enjoy what you have. if you fuck up your relationship with your jealousy you'll look back on this and hate yourself. do not bring this up with her. give yourself some time and get over it on your own. you will with time.

you prob are the best she's been with because women aren't like men, they're on some emotional shit, and if she has feels for you that matters way more to them than the size of your dick. women are men with tits. they're wired differently.

also stop talking about beating this guy and killing him. it makes you sound like a 15 year old tough guy. it's fucking lame.

stop hanging around face fuck, stop brining up with shit with your woman, face fuck her as needed, and be a good bf.

Totally this dude

This. Pretty much.
Work with what you got and be thankful for it.

This was a really good post. You make a very rational argument, and maybe I just need to cool off.

>also stop talking about beating this guy and killing him. it makes you sound like a 15 year old tough guy.
You are right, but when I think about him I just get so fucking angry.

Well, she has at least been honest about her sexual past, to an extent, although she neglected to mention the details, but did you ever even ask for details?

My ex told me she had only ever been with two guys, both who she had been in a long term relationship with. Then she "remembered" about a third guy, a one night stand apparently, who didn't really count because he was so small he couldn't even really stay in and couldn't feel anything.

I still to this day find that hard to believe. But she has always maintained she has only ever been with these three guys.

You fucking selfish psycho cunt! Be fucking greatful that you actually have a gf that likes you and wants to fuck you.

I'm 24 and all I've ever had is a few messages online.

Again, you selfish little bitch.

I found out my first and only girlfriend had fucked over 20 guys before me and then pretended one of my friends raped her. It could be worse user.

I will say this to you... the minute you start seem like you're insecure over her past and judging her, the relationship will end, it's only a matter of time. It's not fair, it's bullshit, and women being whores should never be something we are judged for judging over, but that's the reality of our present situation. That pure girl does not exist. Just enjoy what you have and love her while she does you until it wears off.

Try not to let her change you and don't invest in it past the point where you will regret what you have spent and sacrificed.

No modern woman is worth marriage or long term commitment, do you hear? Not a single damn fucking one of them.

Do not be betabux. Get what you want out of that relationship and get it fast before she gets bored and fucks off.

She cannot love you, they are not capable of love.

How did you find out? How long after you broke up was it?

I don't think I could deal with that either but I'm pretty autistic about these things though. As I see it you have two choices. If you're an idealist then leave her and wait for the right girl, which may never happen. If you're a pragmatic then facefuck her yourself and just use her until the relationship collapses. If you do this though you won't have much of a moral ground when/if you meet a girl you think is worthy to be your wife.

if you really care about this you genuinely dont deserve her.

she can do what she likes sexually, you werent even in the fucking picture.
its not even one of those things where i would say you should talk to her about it, its literally none of your business and it shouldnt effect your opinion of her at all.

leave her? are you fucking retarded? well, clearly you are.

Mods, please take care of this roasty whore.

I know it is irrational and maybe it should not affect me emotionally, but it fucking does. It is not like I can just turn my feelings off.

RIP user

The way I've managed to cope with the knowledge my previous girlfriends etc have copped dick before me is to go out and be more of a whore myself so that their previous experiences feel pale in comparison to mine.

It's childish I know but it's the only way I cope. My last serious girlfriend knew exactly how many girls I slept with before her and it tore her apart. Every single argument we had ended up with her bringing it up.

And that helped me because I knew that the pain she was feeling was the same I felt knowing she'd sucked guys cocks before mine. However, my exploits were on a far grander scale so in reality I was doing more damage to her emotionally than she was to me.

I gained nothing from this but it helps me cope so y'know. Better than being a whiny little beta crying cause his first ever girlfriend isn't a virgin.

>she had sex with men besides myself when we were starting out
Yes you should. You tried for months to get over it and it didn't worked well. Literally no reason to keep this mental torture going on.

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why do you ruin your relationships by delving into truths you can't handle?

as a follow up to this, OP, would your gf question your relationship if she knew what porn you have masturbated to in the past?

i bet if the response is yes it would be way more justified than your reason.

>I dont know if I will find another woman like her,
You probably will
> this revelation is tearing me apart.
You should ask yourself why. If you actually loved her, this wouldn't bother you. It's really trivial

>You fucking pathetic loser
Kill yourself hole

It's not irrational. People will disagree about how much it actually matters but if you're a person with good morals who cares about these things then you're in your right to expect the same from your partner. If she just throw herself to the world without caring about reserving some of herself for the person she plans to marry then she should be with someone who doesn't care either.

you just have to accept it op, women nowadays can fuck around without reprecussions and if you were a woman you would do it as well. it's either you accept used up roasties or you die alone.

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>doing sexual acts is immoral
retarded

IT was just something my stupid fucking friend brought up when we were drunk and talking about sex. He mentioned how the one night stand guy told him that he facefucked my gf when they slept together last year

Undermining your sense of intimacy and focusing in hedonism is dehumanizing, you fucking moron. It's not wrong that she had sex with people she loved and felt committed to, assuming she did, but casual sex is a red flag and OP shouldn't accept it if he doesn't want to.

it doesnt undermine anything unless you think it does. you can still have intimate relationships and experiences after having absolutely no strings meaningless casual sex.

and who the fuck are you to say whether a completely harmless to others lifestyle is "dehumanizing"?

i think the way you live takes the fun out of being human. but i wont call it dehumanizing.

If you're friend feels the need to tell you that... have you considered he may be trying to gently warn you off her or put you off her?

Like, it sounds like he may know a lot worse, user, and he's telling you that in the hopes you will get the picture without him actually having to break your heart.

She admitted it to me when we had been together 3 years not long after my mother died. She already had someone else lined up. She didn't want to deal with my grief.

Here is the truth.
Up until recently, I was a robot in terms of relationships. I am an average lucking dude, average height, love sports and gym, plenty of interests etc.
I had one bad experience with a girl and it gave me the mindset that this board breeds. For about two years, the only thing I hated more than women was myself. This probably stemmed from the fact I had a single mother who I had a terrible, toxic relationship with.

This last academic year I started university. I met a girl that initially I wasn't attracted to and we eventually ended up going out. Since then, all of those horrible, toxic emotions have just evaporated. I'm not angry or self hating anymore. I still hold the traditionalist views I did, but I don't incite hate of others. I don't even go on this board anymore - I really appreciate the fun I had on here, but it's just not healthy for you as an individual.

Dude - do what you feel is right, but just think back to how you felt when you were alone. Is your current situation better or worse than that?
Everyone has a past or untasteful hobbies - we all post on this dreadful place on the internet out of some weird, sick interest.

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I agree with this.
her one night stands wouldn't bother you if you felt comfortable about your relationship

> think back to how you felt when you were alone
This is retarded. You won't be alone if you break up with her. There are other women

The truth of all this is that most people - men and women - have way more partners and have done far more degenerate things than that. You have to decide if it is a dealbreaker for you.
Think back to the worst, most depraved thing you've done and then compare it to that. Does it compare?

I really dont think that is the case. She is one of his best friends, I met her through him

>dating disgusting sloppy seconds

hahahaha you might as well date a prostitute. I see no difference.

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>Being this much of a numale

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There are always women man I agree. I was thinking more of the time in between relationships.
FOR ME PERSONALLY, I did not and do not have the most healthy mindset when things get tough. It's bad, but I have never been as comfortable in my own skin as I am now.
I know that's not independent freedom or whatever, but the truth is compared to how I was suicidal not that long ago, my current setup is a world of difference.

Jesus christ mofo, you have a gf, be glad with that. What does it matter what she did in the past. It's more a problem you're creating yourself, seek the possible explanations why this bothers you in yourself

try to get over it or break up, it's that simple

I'm all for sexual freedom and shit but she did that when you were together. Holy fuck
She didn't respect you man. I'm sorry
Take your time to be sad and all, then distract yourself and move on

Robots it's been really fun since I found this place 5 years ago but I think at some point a lot of people have to grow out of the robot mindset.
I hope you all can come to terms with the fact that the world isn't fair but you can still meet someone who cares about you and be happy.
Life isn't ideal, but you can still enjoy what you can make of it.
>I hope you all one day meet qt3.14s and can leave this place for good.
This place breeds a mentality that also keeps you trapped here. It's Stockholm syndrome.

She didnt do it when we were together, she did it about 6 months before I met her

The mindsets required for each thing are opposite. The pursuit of instant pleasure is based in disregarding the need of knowing something deeply to invest yourself in it, which is the basis of intimacy. If you think you can have it both ways you're deluding yourself. The mind doesn't work like that. I'm not saying anything controversial nor out of my ass. It's just heideggerian phenomenology. And it's dehumanizing because utilitarian thinking eclipses all the other metalanguages and meta/mini narratives which undermines your capacity of expressing the whole humane spectrum.

Do it, i was in the same situation as you, and it was painful. She was a bit of an "abuser" but once she told me about her past (lol) i didnt give a shit whenever she yelled or tried to fight me. Also, i started confronting her more cus she was a big ass whore in my eyes. So yeah. If you cant get over it soon, just break up with her, its not healthy and you will be suffering if you stay with her

It's just sex dude. Oral sex is no less "degrading" then vaginal sex. Women are entitled to live out their sexuality despite what mad incels tell you. It is normal for both men and women to have fun and try things out with different partners. Nothing inherently immoral about it. Jow Forums just wants you to belief that because they all turned puritans because they missed out on normal sexual development. It's literally just sour grapes. Be happy that you are finally catching up with the rest of healthy young adults.

all of those 6 dudes(who are actually 15 guys or so) had their penises in her mouth.
I dont know the answer for this problem since most women are like this nowadays, try to find one that had a proper upbringing and didnt adhere to slut culture.
ITs also the natural reaction to be disgusted by it, its in our genes to disdain sluts because they endanger the sureness of our offspring being ours, dont listen to the white knights.

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Oh. Then she's just promiscous. It depends if she will leave that life for you or not and if you trust her
But aside from that, get tested asap
And there is a posibility she said she did it before meeting you but she actually cheated. Dunno

> my current setup is a world of difference
Time to take the next step. Staying with a girl because you're afraid to be alone is not healthy. Just make sure you have friends/and a support network for the break up

Now you know why all human cultures punished whores and took away women's rights, because no man wants to eat another man's leftovers. All non-cucked men want virgins.

you just have to face fuck her op. do it and enjoy it.

Now I get why you're all bitter virgins: you all want pure virgins served to you on a plate.

What sick shit have you fapped to in your life? Everyone has a history, get over it.

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well i just disagree, i wouldnt mind having either casual sex or intimate sex with a significant other.

i like both. i love going out and drinking and meeting random people ill only speak to that night, i also enjoy fostering long term, positive friendships.

i dont understand why "the mind doesnt work like that".

ill go out on a saturday night and fuck someone and never speak to them again, but if i met a girl i liked i would pursue them and have an intimate, loving relationship.

What you're feeling is loves toxic underbelly. Jealousy, mistrust, fear.

Lust has a bad reputation but it's Love that should be kept in a cage with a gun to it's head OP and you know it. I'm not a feminist and i'm well aware conservative monogamy is the best way to go but I also love sex and facefucking and you can't seriously expect someone to not have sex just so you can feel better in a relationship with them later on.

You weren't married. She didn't even know you probably but realistically you have maybe 3-4 years to enjoy with this girl. Chill out have fun and stop thinking of her as your girl. Someone who owes you something and just cultivate a best friend you fuck.

It'll last alot longer and happier and you won't take years off your life worrying and hating. Just facefuck her better yourself.

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Are these kind of normie problems worth of improving yourself? Why would anyone want to date a western woman?

Normie problems. I dont understand why this stuff is posted on Jow Forums, but at least it's good redpill about modern whores.

Yeah, and so maybe he really likes you and kinda wants to let you know without being a backstabbing dick.

Like he feels bad that he knows all this stuff about her, and he himself has maybe even facefucked her and more, and she has told him she is lying to you about her past.

And maybe he just wants to kinda nudge you in the right direction, without destroying his own relationship with his friend.

>mating with gf whore
>blame another guy for it

Causality? wad is dis?

>just fitting in

Blame this guy, take his baseball bat, and eat his selfish brain!

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The absolute state of r9k these days. I guess this incel thing has reddit and feminist shills psyopping us like hell.

Sleeping with strangers and what people masturbate to seem like different topics.

Pretty sure if OP jerks it to furry porn he's not gonna get GC/trich/HIV/etc.

This is also what TERF anti-porn feminists like to troll with; OP must be a hypocrite because he commits the cardinal sin of imbibing in porn.

Ask her about blowjobs etc user, women (whores) will only ever tell you about their 'boyfriends'

Just cheat on her, OP. If she wasn't a virgin before she met you, then she doesn't deserve your faithfulness. Use her like the worthless piece of meat she is. Constantly look for an upgrade and drop her as soon as you find one.

Let's just fucking altogether!
For laughing in pieces.

That seems rather sociopathic

Nice copypasta. Wish you posted something original you faggot. I'm laughing at these teenbros

If you spent your life watching mindless entertainment and then you go to a museum you won't understand the paintings because you haven't cultivated your relationship to them. You will either not understand them at all or you will try to understand them using the same criteria you have used so far for your entertainment. It will be a shallow relationship. The same happens with humans. You may even think you have an intimate understanding of it but so do tourists when they take a picture of an statue and feel they know how to appreciate art.

Being a slut is sociopathic. What I wrote is merely treating people according to their worth.

What? Who's talking about spending your entire life doing just the one thing?

I personally spend my life watching mindless entertainment, as well as watching truly artistic pieces of film and TV.

I draw and I admire pieces of art from all facets, paintings, drawings, movies, video games, books, fashion, design, theatre, music the list goes on.

But I also watch dumb shit like youtubers and marvel movies, I genuinely do not understand what you're getting at.

If I am able to experience and appreciate both of these things, both for different reasons, why can't the same be said for relationships and sex?

>then pretended one of my friends raped her.

women always do that. they need to throw one guy under the bus so they can be the victim and not have sexual history.

First of all, this idea that you can enjoy both low and high culture is middlebrow bullshit. No one with actual taste does. The sensibility that makes you properly understand the merits of King Lear, Ulysses, Rothko's paintings, etc. is precisely what makes you incapable of appreciating something that lacks those subtle humane qualities, particularly when they're just commercial products that obfuscates the human condition. Also if you had actually studied art you would know about Heidegger as his ideas are inescapable in art theory and I wouldn't have to explain any of this to you. So, no, you don't know what you're talking about.

Ah whatever. You're just setting the bar too high and clearly you're trying to dictate what makes "art" art which is another huge conversation with no answer.

There are so many reasons to appreciate art, and all the different kinds, that's kind of the point and that's kind of the amazing thing about it.

Someone might enjoy a piece because of the excruciating emotion and past experiences that forged it, while some others might only appreciate the fundamental skills required to create it.

Yeah I don't know what you're talking about because I don't have the time to study everything. What I do know is that I'm human, and my experience is just as valid as everyone else's.

So take your "actual tastes" and shove them up your arse because there are different things to appreciate in almost everything.

a point about commercial products "obfuscating" the human condition, isn't it telling, that the majority of people enjoy that shit? does that not say something about the human condition itself?

I learned my lesson.

no hymen no diamond. no point in committing if you are going to be the town bike.

>So I have had a gf for 4 months now. I am 22 and this is the only gf I have ever had, also the only woman I have ever had sex with, and everything is going really well.

>>/out/ of my board

>Rothko being anything besides trash
Rothko and Pollock should have been hung from a bridge, your taste isn't nearly as refined as you think it is.
This and your fedora tier typing are how I know I would want to murder you in real life.

>I don't have the time to study everything
But that's what I mean about the sense of intimacy of a tourist. To have intimacy with something is not enough to enjoy it but to feel it as a part of yourself. If I go to play tennis once a week I won't have the intimacy with the sport than someone who dedicates his life to it does. For him the racket, the balls and the pitch become and extension of his own self. That's intimacy.
About the quality of art, it's a complicated subject as objective values don't exist yet we can't overlook the fact that it exists inside of canonical frameworks which set the standards. Even if you think that those standards are ultimately arbitrary you would have to agree they're inescapable as long as we don't start again from the very beginning, again creating a new set of ultimately arbitrary standards. And while it's impossible to create an exact hierarchy of insightfulness it shouldn't be controversial to say that the way in which Shakespeare treats self-reflection or the way in which Dostoyevsky treats guilt are more insightful than what you get from some slam poet.
The human condition includes what it is, what it can be and what it isn't, and what makes us human is our capability of to question our own existence and if something obfuscates our capability to make that question then it is undermining us as humans.

alright well back to the original point, going by this you can and will only experience an intimate relationship if you only have intimate relationships constantly for the majority of your life.

the thing that makes us human isn't our ability to question our own existence, because that posits that no other living creature could ever do such a thing. and since i am not religious and believe in evolution and natural selection we're basically at an impasse. the ability to question our own existence is just a part of what makes us human.

not to mention that the things "obfuscating" that are generally the things which are also helping us forget about death, which we all try to do in one way or another - it almost seems natural to try and do this, as it lends to a better chance of survival because the idea of existence and death are crushing to most humans. so i dont particularly see the issue.

if a HUMAN wants to do something less "human" in your OPINION i dont see why they should care. you're not talking facts here, you're just proposing your own ideas, which is fine, but you're talking about it as if there's no room for questions, which completely goes against your idea of questioning existence.

What this guy said

The level of pretentiousness in the previous post is off the fucking charts. It's like that image of that fedoralord sipping "wine" saying all other types of music other than jazz are trash.

Not that guy but OP is upset his gf has a sexual history. That's more of a numale beta opinion than anything.

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I'm not sure whether you mean that she cheated on you with the ONS guy recently or if you found out what they did when you were starting out but i'm assuming it's the second option
Don't be a fucking autist
Breaking up would be just stupid
You should either get over it or talk to her about it
I understand why it may bother you but jfc It's not like she did that shit behind your back

>alright well back to the original point, going by this you can and will only experience an intimate relationship if you only have intimate relationships constantly for the majority of your life.
Kind of and I think a lot of people would agree with that. But the key is not the time as much as the disposition to be intimate with something. Once you interact with something with the disposition to be intimate with the intimacy will grow by itself.
>because that posits that no other living creature could ever do such a thing
Well, you're right but I just said it like that because to properly explain it is hard, but let's say that our sense of what is humane is highly influenced by the phenomenological effect of being capable of making the question of what is "being" is.
>not to mention that the things "obfuscating" that are generally the things which are also helping us forget about death
This is a really interesting point and I would love to talk about it but I'm pretty busy now. If you ever have the time try to read Being and Time. It talks about all these things and make a point about how the only way to be authentic is by confronting death.
>you're not talking facts here
I kind of see that but facts are a dead end. Multiple philosophical projects have tried to explain the world trough purely rational means and they always fail because the world is interpreted, not decoded. On top of that rational projects can't work because if you go back through the logic hole at some point you must accept an axiom. Phenomenology and abstractions are the only proper way to try to understand the world.

Abstract expressionism is great even if you don't like the way it looks. It changed the way we perceive what essence and object mean. The philosophical ramifications of that shouldn't be underestimate. And I'm sorry for my bad english. It's not my first language.

If she is cucking you be glad you may not find another girl like her
Cmon OP respect urself beat her up and break up with her

where did this come from? did the anons calling you pretentious really get to you? either way, this is a way better post.

>Once you interact with something with the disposition to be intimate with the intimacy will grow by itself.

you can go from a state of non-intimacy with a subject to a state of intimacy, this was always my point. you can go from wanting to have meaningless sex, to interacting with a woman with the disposition to be intimate. if you still disagree with that, then either you're completely misrepresenting the idea you're trying to convey or i cannot comprehend your otherworldly philosophy.

>the whole facts part
yeah i agree facts and rationality cant explain everything, but the way you presented your ideas were as if they were absolute. i dont like that.

to further my ideas i think that it's entirely possible for someone to be very experienced and know "intimately" in both intimate sex and meaningless sex. i really dont think theyre mutually exclusive.

the same way that someone who is well versed in their filmography will still be knowledgeable about the current industry, even the shit movies you or they wouldnt consider art.

kek that isnt what filmography means. you get the jist anyway.

>where did this come from? did the anons calling you pretentious really get to you?
No. I actually read and answered your comment before seeing those. I'm just a blunt person. If I like something I just say it. I'm also exercising so the endorphins probably have something to do with it as well.
>you can go from a state of non-intimacy with a subject to a state of intimacy,
Oh, yeah, absolutely, but it's like being a fat person who keeps eating telling himself next year he can still run the marathon. He can but he won't be good at it. You can't just switch the way you interact with the world like that. It can takes years for the change to be fully ingrained into your subconscious. For example if you're aggressive all the time you won't just become nice if you know a nice girl just because you think you will. You will have to put a lot of effort into making the change.

Agree that you can have an "intimate" relationship to "shallowness" but I do think that in this case it's incompatible with a more healthy relationship. For example, a bit different but still similar to casual sex, a guy who goes to see a dominatrix after work can't just have the same relationship to his wife than someone who isn't a masochist. What makes him crave to be dominated separates him from his wife. Even if he stops doing it, it's something that will remain inside of him for a long time if not forever. It's too ingrained into his physique.