>tfw you're cozy in your bed but you feel a fart coming and you try so hard to fart that a burst of piss comes out and hits your hand
Tfw you're cozy in your bed but you feel a fart coming and you try so hard to fart that a burst of piss comes out and...
Bentley Cooper
Ian Wright
thanks user. i chuckled
and im sorry that your coziness was destroyed
James Wood
No it's ok I was still cozy. It's just a shame that my piss was fucking rancid and overpowered the smell of the fart. Smelled real dehydrated and hormonal.
Easton Campbell
>try to fart in bed
>shit myself instead
Matthew Price
>try to fart in my bed
>blood spurts out of my vadge instead
stains a lot more than shit and it happens every month
Levi Ward
do us a favour and leave.
Brayden Lewis
OP, I'm sorry to break this to you but you have testicular cancer.
Joshua Baker
Piss isn't stored in the balls, doofus.
Ethan Jackson
>vadge
Justin Sanchez
Vacate the premise, roast. This place is not for you.
Jaxon Miller
The worst part is that unless you poke at it with your finger you can't tell if it's sweat, pussy juice from thinking about beefcakes all night or blood. If it's dark in the room you gotta poke it and then sniff it.
Anthony Jenkins
>tfw period starts in the middle of the night
>too lazy to get up and put tampon in
>blanket is dark red anyways, so stuff it between my twatty folds while I finish sleeping and hope blanky doesn't get too crusty
Luis Torres
smells a lot more too
tampons are absolutely rancid to sniff
Luis Jones
very gross in an original, and disturbing way
Cameron Diaz
I like it. Smells musky, kind of like a man's balls.
Julian Perry
Normal flaps smell similar to balls, the girl equivalent
Cuntblood smells like expired red meat and piss
Alexander Murphy
>thread ruined by a female #46853
Jason Clark
>tfw at a sexy beefcake's house, perioding
>whoops my tampon is full and leaking into my panties
>change tampon, toss old one in the wastebasket
>now anyone who comes in will have to smell my fishy pussy blood
Nathaniel Moore
>>tfw having sex with a beefcake
>>accidentally piss on him
>>"teehee don't worry honey it's just squirting"
>>now he thinks it's totally hot even though we clearly smell of piss
Benjamin Collins
incelpocalypse is that way ---->
Lucas Jones
>become so accustomed to the inner happenings of your ass over the 2+ decades your life (anything less and you don't belong on this site) that you can tell whether a fart is going to be silent or not
>in a public place so you have to hold it in
>find some privacy, but the fart goes away
>go back to the populated area
>fart comes back
Is there a worse feel? how the fuck was that not original
Ian Reed
It's worse when your asshole is itching so you hide in a corner to scratch it but when you come out it starts itching again.
Isaiah Myers
yeah, having to shit so bad that you physically can't hold it in. You try as hard as you can, hurts like hell to keep it in, but the sphincter muscles simply aren't as strong as your peristalsis.
But a bit of air wants to come out, you think this will buy you time, you think very wrongly. Out comes a squirt of shit alongside the gas. You waddle over to the nearest public toilet, thanking the heavens it hasn't gone through our underpants yet, and clean yourself up with toilet paper as best you can. The soiled underpants go into the female pad bin that sits next to the bowl