How do I stop this from happening? I always have to wear black underwear to hide it...

>the virgin ass washer vs the shitting chad stride

>implying he isn't a shart in mart

How does this even happen? Either you're some 300lb neckbeard who's pants get swallowed into his arse everytime he bends down or you're scratching your arse too much after not wiping properly

You shouldn't be doing either. There's no way you're getting skiddies like that if you have a clean ass. Gross af

Get a pack of baby wipes..after you poo and wipe with reg toilet paper..use a baby wipes to get the rest...it's like having your ass picked clean by a unicorn..

I bought a 30 dollar bidet off amazon. Never looked back.

Worst part of pooping away from home now is wiping my ass with handfuls of wadded paper.

Did you honestly expect some other answer?
If your ass is leaking outside of going to the bathroom you need to see a doctor, dude.
Otherwise, as those anons said, wipe your ass.

Don't be shy either stick your finger inside and try to get as much out as you can

Dude, that's hionestly the answer, improve your diet, wipe until theres nothing on the toilet paper and your butthole is tender, and wash your ass with soap in the shower at LEAST once per week. I haven't had skidmarks since i started doing all of this.

Americans will defend this

This is why you fold your toilet paper dude, so you get a nice flat surface to wipe with, and you can refold it if you do it right up to 3 times with the same amount of paper you would use with one "wad".

whoops my trip from another thread is still on, here have some tasty gyros for my insolence

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lmfao

Mein sides, kameraden/10

Did your parents not teach you to wipe your ass?

Stop scratching your asshole

Looks like my underwear after a summer jog

fucking americans

fucking yanks lmao

I have NEVER had fucking skidmarks and I don't even particularly wash my ass very often in the shower. Wipe until the last bit of paper has absolutely no shit on it you disgusting ape. This only happens because you don't wipe your ass, you probably smell like shit too.

1) Wipe your ass til no longer see anything on the paper
2) Wash your asshole with soap and water daily
3) Grow the fuck up for Christ's sake

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more fibres + shave ass hair

>wash it twice in one session to make sure it's clean, same goes for crotch, foreskin, and armpits

56% control over their bodily functions.

Sometimes I wipe till the paper is absolutely clear and still get skids. Is it because I fart so much? Do I leak?

>and wash your ass with soap in the shower at LEAST once per week.
Nigga, you do that shit every fucking day, twice if it's a hot evening. What the fuck is wrong with Americans ffs?

Wash your asshole after you shit.

>Showering every day
You're fucking up your skin and hair. Every other day is optimal.

so you're "that guy" i can smell on the bus or as i walk past heading to class, you disgusting human bean

That might be true depending on what shampoo you use or if you use some kind of liquid soap. But bar soap to wash your ass once or twice daily is not going to do anything to you, you stinking Amerishart. Wash ya fuckin' ass Jesus Christ.

>tighty whities
When your underwear is whiter than you, it's inevitable that the brown will come off and stain it

>tha absolute state of mutts

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>mfw we dont even need flags for me to know you're american

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>mfw constantly leave a swamp on the chairs i use

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this more fiber, assfudge

>tfw i shower at least 2 times a day, sometimes up to 5 if i have multiple seperate shifts for work and i still stink most of the time
How do i fix this? My doctor said i should change clothes more often but i literaly do 4 loads of washing a week and i barely get by money wise as is

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Holy fuck. Eat some vegetables. Eat an apple or something. You need fiber to hold your shit together, especially if you’re downing protein shakes.

If your shit is pure juicey, of course it will sneak out.

You’re disgusting man. Your first question should be “what am I eating that makes me slowly shit my pants throughout the day?”

Anyone who doesn't use baby wipes is fucking disgusting. If I shit on your counter I guarantee you don't clean it up with tissue paper. God damn animals.

>Not owning a bidet
Enjoy your dirty shit

Get a god damned BIDET! holy shit man. I got one on woot for lile 20 bux and now my butthole is clean as fuck all the time. Honestly disgusts me knowing most people in america don't use them.

Follow these instructions carefully. Get strong body wash; old spice usually does the trick for me. When you shower, turn the shower off and lather up HEAVILY. Literally every square inch of your body must be covered in bubbly white soap. I shit you not, stand there for 2-3 minutes MINIMUM and let the soap marinate into your skin. Once you’ve done that, turn the shower back on and rinse. Re-apply soap, this time focus on ears, armpits, crevices etc. once you’re done immediately out on deodorant all over your heat, back, armpits, and inner thighs and you should be good for a while

I started using antbacterial soap on my armpits and it helps a bit, I may shave the armpits eventually too. Use deodorant. If I have some fancy appointment I use antiperspirants, but it's not good to use those every day.

they're generally seen as being for women over here

I did start using antibacterial soap and i lather up first with normal bar soap then the good shit which does work for a while but i live in a horrific humid hell pit so i start sweating as soon as im outside which brings back the smell as soon as im back indoors. I also have super dry skin because of this, and on top of THAT i get mad sweat rash/pimple things on my arms that itches like hell and stings when i use the good soap. I had a spray thing to put on before bed for the sweat rash that does work but it made my sheets mildly sticky so i stopped using that

I appreciate the humor but would like to note that this is indefensible, and not all Americans are this guy.

Are you asking how to stop pooping in your underwear?

Those look delicious!

Use a squat plug

you probably don't wipe properly

t. female who has had to teach every guy ive dated how to properly wipe his ass and they thought it's normal to just walk around with shit between their ass cheeks

Sorry, OP, but this is the only way.

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You either got hemorrhoids or ur ass loose af, stop letting ur faggot boyfriend to fuck yo ass. If that dont work, stuff a tissue between yo butt and deal with it

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Stop eating greasy food amerishart in mart

Use a bidet you fucking disgusting filthy swine of a third worlder.

Wipe with paper 2-3 times unless your diet is on point.
Fold up an extra thicc layer of TP and dab some water on it with your hand.
Soak your ass and wipe carefully with the now moist and somewhat structurally compromised TP.
Alternatively, use a baby wipe, but don't flush that shit.
Wipe once more with dry TP.

Stop being gay you depraved piece of shit.

if you dont have shit streaks in ur undies after leg day then u arent training hard enough

nothing wrong with a litle poop smear for the ladies

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Have you considered raising your standards? Holy fuck that sounds awful.

Jesus christ dude, fucking bath yourself, you're deluded

Who else it a part of the /shaved ass/ master race?
>shits only take me 1min max to fully wipe
>can clean by butt really easily
>farts make a big loud noise
>sometimes if I spread my cheeks far enough there isn't even anything to wipe
I'm honestly laughing at how pathetic you gross troglodytes are.

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shave your hair off and powerwash. use a exfoliating body scrub, change your diet, and use better body products.

t. Dryskinned flakyhaired incel
You've fucked yourself over with a lifetime of putting an abundance of chemicals in your hair and on your body. You're constantly fucking with your microbiome, making you ironically smell worse and weakening your immune system.

>and your butthole is tender
I don't know why but this made me geg

>30 HELENS AGREE

You're triffling

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if you need baby wipes too get all your shit then you have either or both a shit diet/terrible digestive system.

try eating something green for once and if a week of that doesn't improve your shit you need to see a doctor.

Wipe better, trim down your butt hair, and get wet wipes. They are the next best thing to a shower.

Source:
>my tighty whities stay clean and white

gee is that why I

>always get comments on smelling good (mostly girls, n-no homo)
>haven't gotten so much as a cold in years
>don't feel like a stinking amerishart

If I don't have time for a bidet or a quick shower I'll wet a paper towel after I do my dry wiping and that cleans everything up quite nicely.

If I shit on your hand or face I guarantee you'd clean it with water and soap, not baby wipes.

You niggers need psyllium husk in your life.

Clean and satisfying shits every time.

This.

Low fiber / high fat diet leads to swamp ass. Fat is literally dripping out your arsehole when you're moving around because you can't put down the hamburgers.

how do I shave it? teach me please

This OP. I had the same problem a few weeks ago then started wiping with toilet paper until it was clear then finished off with wipes. Using the wipes actually got some of the dukey the TP didn’t get although I had to get all up in there with my finger (not homo right?). But after that skids were gone

>How to fuck up your skin like a "white" American 101
Are you guys literally rolling in the dirt or something?

Enjoy your clogged pipes.

Literally everyone knows not to flush wipes you mong

wipe your ass you fucking animal

Just use a depilatory cream, only need to do it once every two months

Lay it on thick, rub it in, wait 10 minutes then scratch it off using a flannel in the shower

Ass hair is extremely unhygienic

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Σταμάτα να τρως πτώματα

thanks, never heard of a depilatory cream before. It doesnt hurt, right?

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Not at all

get more fiber, at least 70g. you barely have to wipe at that point

Eat more fiber dipshit.

Make istinja you fucking ape

Always shower before leaving the house, you vile creature.

Wipe your ass after a shit
Wash your ass after you wipe
Wash you asshole regularly.

you're a grown man, presumably, you shouldn't be asking this question... or wearing tiddy widdies.

Anyone know how to stop excessive sweat/swamp ass?
I shower daily, wipe 100%, and use deodorant

I don't understand, normally I use tissue to get most of it out then finish it off with a couple rounds of water while wiping with my hands then obviously clean my hands and shit after.

Do white people actually only use tissue?

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>Ass hair is extremely unhygienic
Nigga shut the fuck up, having a clean ass is bad for you as your ass will sweat like crazy on a hot day and your farts will be way too loud, your supposed to trim ass hair, not shave it off.

eat fenugreeek it makes your body odor smell like syrup