Do I have autism or other personality disorder?

When I meet new people, I am always overfriendly. I am lonely and I want to be nice so people like me.
But I also have a huge ego ( I am not an incel type guy) and I expect people to treat me highly (mostly because I am smarter than them and more talented, I am also not ugly).

So when I am friendly and the other person would be nice too, we get along good.
But I dont know why but most fucking people after a short time think me being nice is weak. They start doing subtle things that put them above me. And I always see everything because I constantly check what people do. And if it happens I get thoughts of them having to pay for it.
In the past I usually established my position but nowadays I just cut them off immediately.

And I hold a grudge for people who tried to put themselves above me, I just really hate it. I also hate extroverted people, because other people often do what the most extroverted person does. And I also despise people that look up to others. Why would they put another person higher than themselves and if they look up to someone why such a retarded loud shittalker.

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I agree entirely with the extroverted thing. People seem to think us introverts have a disease, and im not talking about aspies, im just talking about reserved aloof people.

Your prob not aspie btw. Especialy if your overfriendly.

I also agree with the double standards respect part

Also you sound like a narcissist, idk

I get like that too sometimes

> I expect people to treat me highly (mostly because I am smarter than them and more talented
>Why would they put another person higher than themselves

You just answered your own question, self-absorbed asswipe. Why would anyone put you above themselves? You're a nothing to most people. Your smarts and talents do nothing for most people in most situations. If you aren't directly employing them, why would they give a shit about you and what you have accomplished?

If you ever get a therapist they're gonna see dollar signs, you're a piece of work.
P.S. You almost certainly have NPD, which is a roastie disease, so you should kill yourself sooner than later, mate.

I also think I have narcissistic tendencies. I am very obsessed with looking as good as possible. I eat healthy so I stay young and fresh.
But yeah I am still friendly and do things for others. But they always have to do things for me too then, we need to be equal.
Basically everytime I think someone tries to put himself above me or tries to get things for me, I deeply despise him. I act smug, ignore him shit like that until I either cut him off, get into a rage with him or he stops it. I can deeply despise someone because I think he takes advantage of me but when he returns the favor and we are equal again, all contempt and rage is gone. It is like before and I dont exploit people.

You literally have Narcissistic Personality Disorder. You tick off every disgusting check box.

but I dont manipulate and exploit people. If you are nice to me, I am nice to you and I would always do things for you.

You are just an insecure teenager, it will be over soon, dont worry

I know what you mean, its the double standards of respect

And also with my family I am friendly too. I respect my fathers authority. Even if I think he is a beta I do things when he tells me to do it.

It is literally just when people try to put themselves above me or take advantage of me that I get this deep hatred

I am already 24

>but I don't manipulate and exploit people

>Basically everytime I think someone tries to put himself above me or tries to get things for me, I deeply despise him. I act smug, ignore him shit like that until I either cut him off, get into a rage with him or he stops it.

tl;dr you throw a tantrum and act like an entitled silver spoon bitch when people don't do what you want, but if they do what you want then you're nice to them again. How is that not manipulation...? It sounds exactly like how a narcissistic roastie Stacy gets people to do things for her.

You're so full of your own shit you can't even smell it anymore.

>It is literally just when people try to put themselves above me or take advantage of me that I get this deep hatred
Yeah, because you think you're better than them and deserve better, and you have this overly competitive nature where you won't let yourself lose because that doesn't play into your personal narrative where you're the best thing since sliced fucking bread.

but I cant let people put themselves above me? Should I just let people get away with it? If you do me wrong I disrespect you. It is not manipulation it is retaliation.

I definitiely think highly of me but objectively I am definitely above average in everything except height.
And yes I often think I am better but I still treat others as complete equal.

if a bully throws you in a corner do you comply with his demands?
If a customer tells you what's wrong with you, whether is a nice or mean answer, do you have to care or have to believe what's wrong with you?
If there is someone nice to you do you have to be nice back? kindness is just a manipulative way of bullying someone into your demands. so when you speak your mind the person can play the victims card for saying "I was just trying to be polite to this guy but he went off on me." fake tears and victimhood and suddenly you're the perpetrator for everything.

>Should I just let people get away with it?
Get away with what? You're a paranoid fuck if you think anyone puts even a fraction of as much thought into their daily interactions as you do. No one is trying to "pull one over" on you, you conceited fuck. No one thinks about you nearly as much as you think about them or yourself.

Most people are just doing their own life and yeah, there are gonna be times when people besides you are praised, and people are gonna be put on a pedestal ahead of you undeservedly, but if you throw a lil tantrum every single time you perceive any amount of injustice, let me tell you that you'll spend a lot of time throwing tantrums. I can tell that you're not very old and don't have a lot of job experience because you still think this is a maintainable trajectory for your life. You need help, not excuses. You're setting yourself up for a very unhappy rest of your life by being this way.

>objectively I am above average
Maybe in one category, but if you have ulterior motives for being nice (wanting people to want to do things for you, what you think is "liking" you) then you aren't actually nice. You're a manipulative, overemotional douchebag.

Smart, but mean
Talented, but conceited
Not ugly, but short
Sounds like you're 50/50 on good and bad traits here, mate.

of course you need to be nice to me if I am nice to you. Do you think I treat you good when you treat me bad. Do you think I give you things when you dont give me things.
Thats not how it works. I get thoughts of stabbing when people do that.

yes job is different. there is a social hierarchy and you have to play the rules.
But if I meet other people I want to have a good time, I dont want to concure with you but I have if you try to establish a dominant position, else I am a beta cuck. Being nice is I am friendly, help you with things, etc I dont want to get something specific but you need to give me something back or else I feel like you try to exploit me.

Not op here, but I disagree with the user saying that people don't try "to pull one over you"
I think most people do and I never give anyone the benefit of the doubt and am always skeptical of others potential motives, even towards my iwn family I do this.

Trust me, people put themselves first, even famiky members. I learnt the hard way and got shafted.

"Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me"

If you offer to be nice to people conditionally, then you're not nice, you're posturing/virtue signalling. It's insincere and purposeful manipulation.

Being nice means doing good things just to do good things, not to get something out of it. You look at the world through the lens of what you can get for yourself, what you can take, and how you can get away with it (pretending to be nice).

I don't know how you haven't abandoned this thread out of pure shame yet. Probably because narcissists have defense mechanisms that prevent them from evaluating insults as true.
Compliment me? I'm great.
Insult me? You're stupid.
Roast logic.

exactly I have also been fooled, humiliated and exploited by people in my young teenage years. And I swore I would never ever let anyone put himself above me. I always try to figure out what people do, their mimics etc.

>else I am a beta cuck
here it comes out, folks
the insecurity that underlies the narcissistic posturing
I hope you guys are paying attention, this is textbook NPD, this guy could be a case study.

You just sound paranoid as fuck. That's common around here. Naturally all people look out for themselves first. Why would someone else sacrifice themselves for you? But you don't need to try to "get back at" people for doing what's best for themselves. Live and let live is a mantra of strength, not of being "a beta cuck," because it's easy to just overreact like a toddler to any perceived injustice. It is inner strength to impartially evaluate and understand other people's actions without misconstruing them as being directed at you or even involving you at all. It's hard to lose that teenager brain mentality that everything revolves around you, but really, it doesn't.

why the fuck would I be nice to you for free. Thats something you need to deserve. I think you are the real narcissist here, I just have tendencies. We are animals and social relations are like trades.
And if someone is super nice to me I always have a bad conscience and try to repay him in some way. If you do a good deed I will always do a good deed too

holy shit, op absolutely ROASTED by user, lmao. just fucking leave the thread

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samefag
you are the real narcissist here you little faggot

Your right I am paranoid, for good reason tho.
Everytime im paranoid about something it almost always comes to fruition.

stay mad you little manlet faggot, lmao. you've been exposed and btfo, hope it hurts your ego you narcissistic prick.

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kek
kill yourself you narcissistic psychopath

>I think you are the real narcissist here, I just have tendencies
Classic narcissist tactic.

>I'm not the problem, you are
>I'm great and infallible
>anyone that questions me is bad, wrong, a "faggot," etc
>even calling me a narcissist because you couldn't come up with a better, more appropriate insult
I cracked the narcissist's shell and his guts are gonna spill like turtle soup.
Don't forget to check that filename.

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Being nice can be seen as a defense mechanism
Like if you're to approach someone more powerful than you, to try to appease to them you'll probably behave in a non-confrontational way, because you don't want them to out you or destroy you.

When you treat people as though they are lesser or equals (impartiality) then people feel a sense of honesty. People tend to assume the weaker role in a dynamic off the bat to avoid confrontation anyway, but when the guy assigned the "higher power" role doesn't abuse it, it's seen as refreshing and honest, like you two are equals.

This plays into the "nice guys finish last" thing, cause as a guy if you have nothing to offer besides being nice, "being nice" just seems like the last line of defense to stop people from throwing you out of society.

Ironically, being an unapologetic asshole (to a degree) can help you become more likeable if you have an actually good personality to back it up.

Like for instance if someone asks to take the seat next to you on a train, if you go "y-yes! sure!! please, go ahead!!!" it comes off as super complicit/ submissive. If you go "Yeah. Sure." you just seem average. If you let out a chuckle, it makes you seem like a HUGE asshole but it throws the power dynamic into the air.

Also, you become more likeable the less aware you are of power dynamics. Normal people don't care. Powerful people OFTEN place themselves in submissive roles, cause healthy interaction that achieves results requires give and take.

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Also why not "get back at" somebody for fucking me in the ass???

So somebody scams me and illegaly takes 100k of mine I let it go?

I FUCKING KILL THEM

LMAO

I am just friendly because I just have one friend left, and I am often very lonely and therefore I want to have a nice time. I am not afraid off confrontation because if someone openly not subtly tries to put himself above me I immediately attack. If you would call me a faggot I would probably call your mother a worthless whore or shit like that. But most people dont do that they do it subtle and thats what angers me the most because it feels like they think I cant see what they are doing. And this makes me despise them deeply. They could get run over and I would be like you deserve it kek.

Yeah, sorry user you're just a huge faggot then
If you get violently angry over power dynamics, you're literally a token villian from any TV kids show.
If you can't control your anger when someone "subtly puts themself above you" (most likely not the case and is entirely conjured in your mind) then you have zero dignity or moral compass for yourself, and don't deserve any sort of respect anyway.

Like say you're following traffic laws, and some douchebag overtakes you, nearly causing a collision, then screams out his window "NICE GOING FAGGOT", flips you off, a normal response is just mild anger mixed with confusion. Any onlooker can immediately identify who the actual faggot in that situation is. But when you go "NO ONE DOES THAT TO ME", it's like "What the- what the FUCK do you have to prove to that asshole?"

Like literally who cares- personally I'd just laugh at the dude cause I know he's a retard. If I suspect he's stupid enough, I'll avoid responding in any way until they're out of earshot, THEN laugh. Cause actual retards/ sub 80 IQ morons get violent and physical when they get shit flung back at them.

In your case, I think you're more often the retard, and the people putting you down are just doing observational defense mechanisms. Like when I laugh, I don't think "I'm so much better than this guy", but I just see the backwards humour of the situation and think "this guy is taking this horseshit way too seriously, and it's hilarious"

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But I am not violently, I just have these thoughts a deep despise for them. If you openly try to put yourself above me I tell you that you are a faggot. But if you are subtly annoying I normally just cut off every contact with you because I dont want to feel these feelings. I just want to have a good time.

See I am with a friend who has a friend within whom I have seen the first time. We ordered pizza and there were just two chairs.
One chair belongs definitely to my friend because it is his house.
I immediately thought one chair is not enough for us two. I just wanted to say that there are not enough chairs and we should get another chair so everyone can sit but before I could say it this friend took this chair without consideration. I deeply despised him at that moment and immediately tried to act condescending to him.
Why would he do that? He cant do that shit, thats not correct.

And I was first in the room I could have immediately taken one chair but I immediately thought that the other would have no chair and that would not be correct but he just took the chair.

>But if you are subtly annoying I normally just cut off every contact with you because I dont want to feel these feelings. I just want to have a good time.
listen, the only way this shit can actually bother you is if you feel like there's some truth to it
If you look inside yourself and build out a little bit of a "I know I'm this and that" fortress internally, no one can make you think you're something you know you're not.
Like imagine some awkward kid who is a millionaire entrepreneur being made fun of in a restaurant for not holding their knife and fork properly/ socializing right, and is seen by everyone as some kind of lower class pleb.
Instead of lashing back, the kid can re-affirm who they are to themselves, and not have to subject themselves to the opinions of others. He walks out with no one knowing any better, and goes on with his fucking day, with those opinions making NO IMPACT on him.

Now imagine you don't have tangible worth, like wealth or fame. What you CAN have in that case is a sense of morality, dignity, an understanding of the positive impact you have on the world and the special talents/ gifts YOU offer. If someone makes fun of you or tries to put you beneath them, instead of feeling angry or like they're treating you unfairly, you just feel sorry for them thinking that way.

>I immediately thought one chair is not enough for us two. I just wanted to say that there are not enough chairs and we should get another chair so everyone can sit but before I could say it this friend took this chair without consideration. I deeply despised him at that moment and immediately tried to act condescending to him.

This is EXTREMELY petty. In that situation, all I'd think is "oh not enough chairs, I'll go find one"
If someone turns it into a power dynamic (yeah, you're the lesser human, you go fetch your own chair, i deserve this more than you), I internally lose all respect for that person. How can you not? So petty

followup:
in that chair example, I can guarantee you regular people DO NOT THINK about power dynamics like that. It's mostly accidental. Even if it isn't, who cares. Literally no one likes hanging around others who bring power dynamics into casual encounters, unless they do it to a cheesy/ ironic level. "Listen, if I can't hit this shot, I'll have to suck everyone's dick here. Same goes for you if you miss."

But when you take offense to stuff you PERCEIVE to be power dynamics, YOU become the asshole. YOU become the guy who makes everything uncomfortable by making a power dynamic out of something trivial. It's YOU.

>except height

When will they learn....

but thats not how it works, we are social animals. Of course you can build a I know Im this and that fortress and believe these things. But in my eyes thats just delusion. Most people are delusional and think they are more than they are. But I look at things objectively and if I am a homeless person, I am not a high status person and couldnt convince myself into believing it.
I cant let people put me beneath them

This was just a little instance to show you what I mean with being nice. I immediately looked at the situation and thought about how the other person could feel if I take this chair. I thought the perfect solution would be saying that there are enough chairs so no one would be standing there eating or having to look for a chair all alone while the other eat.
But he didnt do that. In this situation it wasnt specifically about putting himself above me but just being unthoughtful. To have a nice time we should look after each other and this behaviour was in my eyes pretty egoistical because he didnt think about how others could feel. And thats what made me despise him.

You're just a psycho
No one cares about your standards for how people should treat each other
What if I took huge offense to people who wore headphones on the bus, and I saw you listening to something with headphones and thought "what a horrible person, objectively speaking"
and i can conjure up some bullshit justification to why "objectively" you are horrible.

No one cares, and it's perfectly fine that way. You are way to sensitive about things, in a very bad way. You are not friendly; you are imposing random ass rules on everyone you meet, and putting restrictions to behaviour because of random ass conjured up reasons.

"how can people be so inconsiderate" in that chair example; because most people wouldn't care if someone pushed them aside to get through somewhere. Everyone just accepts that, as a convenience, we all have to act a little asshole-y to each other. And that most of these "offenses" fly way over the radar and don't get caught.

"Dude, did you not notice how rude that person was being to you?"
"No? Because I got more important shit to worry about lmao"

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The average person will only look after themselves in most situations.
In your example, the other person most likely didn't even give a second thought about you.

I think your problem is that you try to look after everyone, and you believe that others think the same way.
You want everyone to have a great time, while they don't give two shits about you.

Okay so I am a psycho because I am not an asshole.
What did he mean by that? Really makes me think.

So I must have autism or some other personality disorder if I dnt act like others.

>Okay so I am a psycho because I am not an asshole
You think you're not an asshole because you try to think how other people would feel in situations
But in reality, you turn out to be the person everyone wants to avoid, cause you bring to light the things no one thinks about, and conjure up conflict where there was initially a chill relaxed environment.

You somehow OVERTHINK being nice, to the point where you create chaos and discomfort to everyone instead of a good time.

Everyone pitching together for a good time does not equal a good time. People being able to be themselves with as little filters as possible is what they enjoy. When you allow people to be assholes and not take advantage of you, and meet it with equal measure, that means you both get along well.

When you and another person are putting in effort to not step on each others' toes, you're trying to out-maneuver imaginary conflict and stressing the shit out of yourself. (Unless of course you actually LIKE thinking about that stuff)

A lot of people are considerate, but REALLY COOL people expect NOTHING out of everyone else.

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So I am just too intelligent to hang out with normal people because thats nothing I overthink. These are just things immediately see.
Guess I will look for people in my intelligence range

Try not giving a shit about people "slighting" you, and be considerate and polite when you can.

But if you slight me I have to slight you which I dont want to do. So it is best to just cut these people off

Cool, so you're too stupid to make yourself presentable and compatible with 99% of people who have loads to offer
But you sabotage your OWN goal of "having a good time", something that comes naturally to most people by being themselves, by automatically getting offended by things people do.
BARRING the fact that by being that obnoxiously up your own ass, that you most likely have loads of your own unique ticks/ quirks that drive other people insane, and aren't considerate about/ completely go unaware that you're being inconsiderate.

"No, it's everyone else who is wrong"

Reason I'm being so god damn mean to you is because you are nothing special. TONS of people think the way you do, and a lot of them grow the fuck out of it. A lot of really chill people used to be anal like that, but absolutely stopped giving a fuck, and now attract loads of people/ has agency and control of setting up fun social events.

All cause they disconnect a bit from what they perceive as slights/ incorrect behaviour, and SIMPLY "not give a shit".

>But if you slight me I have to slight you which I dont want to do
NOOOPE, that's psychotic.
Imagine if everyone responded with equal measure to every perceived slight?
Imagine you accidentally cut someone off in traffic without noticing, and suddenly they come back to "give payback" and deliberately/ obnoxiously get in your way and drive like an asshole.
ALL OUT OF A MISCOMMUNICATION.

Everything would always become a conflict spiralling out of accidents all the time.
The only people burying hatchests and bringing sanity to the world would be the people who don't give a shit and let stuff fly.

If you let people slight you than you are a beta cuck in my eyes. The people who let other people slight them are most of the time numales with no backspine.

kek he thinks he is god damn men to me over the internet kek and yeah they attract loads of people because they are the slight bag so they have someone to show off their dominant position in the social hierarchy.

Why do you have to slight them back? Why can't there be a kind of buffer zone where if the slight isn't that big you overlook it? People accidentally slight each other all the time, and we've learned to let small things go for the sake of general peace and happiness.

Accidents are different. It is not an attack on my person.

If I respect a person I dont slight him. If you slight me it means you dont respect me which means I dont respect you which means I act condescendingly

How would you define a slight? To you, what's the minimum possible action that a person could do that would cause you to act condescendingly and slight them back? Describe in detail if possible.

and if you are superior or equal to me I have no problems with small slights and little powergames but if you are inferior you cant slight me thats something I have forgot to write. I have this kind of relation with my friend

the smallest thing would be to cut me when I speak i guess.

Cut you off, you mean? If they do it once or twice, let it go, but if it's a regular thing then the guy is probably an asshole. If a lot of people do it to you maybe it's because they don't like you or think that you're boring and uninteresting.

it doesnt happen a lot. but when it happens it happens because I am being nice to an inferior person. With equal people I normally dont have this problem when I am nice to them they are nice to me its most of the time the inferior ones that think being nice to them gives them a powerposition.

because in the beginning they dont do it. But when they see you are nice they try to put themselves above you.

Alright, so in your world people that don't conform to your way of thinking via the "letting people slight you = they are overpowering you" nonsense are delusional cucks.

Meanwhile, you look into the dredges of society, such as nonsense beurocratic jobs that have petty office politics and child-tier drama, and you get plenty of people who think just like you.

Congrats, "your people" exist, and they fucking suck.

Meanwhile, the delusional cuck who doesn't give a shit what other people think has placed all their mental eggs in productive baskets, all while finding people with similar interests, encouraging each other, and creating actual tangible value to the world by investing their time and energy in things they deemed worthwhile.

Worst case scenario is no one else cares about their contribution; best case scenario they change a paradigm.

You bring up the topic of masculinity, and completely overlook qualities such as stoicism or agency over the external world.

Okay bud, have fun with your fucking life that's constantly out of your control, not knowing why anyone of real value wants nothing to do with your senseless drama.

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Either you're severely overthinking things, or you tend to be around assholes.

What do you mean. I always respect you and we can have a nice time if you respect me too. If you respect me I will never try to be mean to you.

If I had to guess I'd say that your idea of "respect" and "slights" is way too fine-tuned to be helpful in modern society. You identify slights too easily, and when you do your reaction to them is too negative. This is not a helpful way to communicate with a wide variety of people.

I guess because I have also some narcissistic tendencies in how I see myself I attract also many people like that. That could definitely be possible.

What to you is a good person? And by "good" i mean your personal definition.

Respect is not a given. You don't DESERVE anyone's respect. No one does.
Down to the bone, peoples' instinct tells them "if this person thinks I should respect them 'just cause', they probably don't deserve an ounce of it"
You will be fighting against nature by expecting people to treat you with respect.
NO ONE, and I mean NO ONE deserves respect, or anything.

Being nice and considerate can make more professional diplomatic situations a little more slick, but on a personable level no one wants to play along with your make believe.

>If you respect me I will never try to be mean to you.
You don't seem to get that this perspective is irrelevant; no matter what you do, people will think you're disrespecting them when you're not, and vice versa. This miscommunication happens, and by throwing out the expectation of respect, you reap more of it by being an actual human fucking being.

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A good person is someone who tries to have healthy relationship with others. Giving and taking. That's how you need to be to be my friend. You can have all your faults and problems but you dont try to hurt others.

You are literally a narcissistic brainlet. You should respect people and you should want respect from other people. Thats what makes you a civilized person else you are just an animal.

The "and taking" part is quite interesting. Most people would consider a good person to be primarily giving - hence the idea of "selflessness". Your point of view of human relationships is very transactional, which I think is the source of your problems. Try to get along with people for the sake of the happiness that you get being with them, not because of some rigid rules of give and take.

>You are literally a narcissistic brainlet. You should respect people and you should want respect from other people. Thats what makes you a civilized person else you are just an animal.
Society, as it moves forward, is losing its place for respect. Fewer good rolemodels, fewer things people can offer, fewer reasons to engage in exchange.
Does that mean we should throw respect out the window? Fuck no; set a good standard you'd apply to all people, and give a healthy margin of error for people. Have a mind that can resolve drama instead of starting it.

If you are playing with power dynamics, and consider yourself "high up on the food chain", even if you are the spitting image of a perfect human you are asking for an ass-blasting from your own species.
Power dynamics are tired and boring, especially in today's society where a fucking gun can decide "top dog" if need be.

Here's a random thought; how about we throw away power dynamics, and keep your own mental track of your self worth. If you're delusional, no harm done.
Throw power dynamics into the mix, we get delusional idiots like you causing senseless drama that the rest of society tries to build a fucking detour around.

>autism
>personality disorder

Autism isn't a personality disorder.

Most of the time people who only give do because they think they are unworthy. But if you have no spine that doesnt make you a good person. A good person is good because he wants to be good

You should respect a person until he gives you a reason to not respect him.

And the gun is the best reason why we should act like that. Always be nice to people and respect them but if they slight you show them that they cant do that.
If everyone acted like that we would probably have less people like you who think they disrespect people

You mean "a good person is good because he wants to be good, and because he does good things".

For some reason you've managed to work yourself into a rather extreme honor culture, which hasn't existed in the west for a very long time. If you want to be happy, and to enjoy most of your relations with other people, you're going to have to learn to tone that down. One solution is to hang out with lots of "good", humble, and selfless people, and try to adopt some of their attitudes towards dealing with others.

>but if they slight you show them that they cant do that
What happens if I am completely unaware that someone is slighting me, intentionally or unintentionally?
Because in all fairness, there's very little people can do to completely inconvenience you/ powerplay you. It's incredibly easy to take that power away from them by being confident in yourself.

>comes to Jow Forums instead of visiting an actual therapist

I'm an Aspie and have narcissistic traits. I was either extremely coddled compared to others to the point I can't understand their struggles or extremely hated and discriminated against to pariah levels. What would this combination do to you?

How the hell would this be autism? You sound like a fucking normalfag