Bone Chilling Sentences

>user, stop being so fat user

>so what do you do with your friends... oh
>what university do you go to... oh
>what job do you have... oh

>user why the fuck are you such a disgusting fat slob, you fat disgusting piece of fucking blobby shit?

>manilly vanilly
>your bones are now chilly.
Every single time.

>He thought you were serious, haha!

>stop trying to be funny, user. It's annoying.

>hi, how are you?

I've actually started giving strangers honest answers because I have lost hope for appearing normal.

>STILL working here??

What do you tell them? Youre depressed about your inoperable smega encrusted phimosis microcock??

>non KH
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

>Nah man you weren't invited haha

>5 min before we walk onstage to accept diploma
>teach walks up and asks what college i'm going to to announce when they say my name
>start freaking out inside because i have a twin and his name comes before mine alphabetically
>say undecided
>hate myself hoping twin also said undecided
>he did
>7 years later
>twin has kid that's about to turn 1 and is working a cushy office job
>i'm KHV NEET with no license and no cellphone

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If I had it my way, anyone who uttered this phrase against another person would be summarily kneecapped.

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>user, you mention your ex a lot.
bitch was evil
>why dont you just get a job?
>how old are you again?

>"...ooooooookay?"

Jesus fuck why do I have to be original here of all places.

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It depends on how the days going. Today I had really bad diarrhea for a few hours and the gas station cashier asked how I was so I told her. Swamp ass and meat sweats.

I bet you're exaggerating a lot like you do most times in life.

You know how worthless you really are

Wtf is a KH? Is this new slang shit? o r have I just been missing people saying that shit? What is it?

FUCKING NORMAN!!!!!!
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

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i'm not hyperbolic one iota in that post
i've had jobs but never longer than 9 months and recently i haven't worked for almost a year now
this is the biggest fucking indicator that normies have invaded this board when they think the shitstorm that is my life can't possibly be true

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You gotta get the fuck out, rn.

No way. What if it was a hot babe? Would you talk about your dookie ass then?

nigger kill yourself, you just get off the boat from 2002?

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>work job with lots of downtime
>watch chinese cartoons on phone in the corner
>normie #17 eventually asks it
>"what have you been watching, user?"

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just say blacked porn

All you faggots had to do is tell me what it is Jesus man.

>"foreign art films"

>this offer of employment is dependent upon the results of a drug screen

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Why wouldn't i? I give as many fucks about attractive women as they give about me

DURR Y U NO SPOONFEED ME
fucking
LURK
MOAR
YOU
FUCKSHIT
TRY TO LEARN ONE THING ON YOUR OWN FOR ONCE IN YOUR LIFE
WE'RE NOT HERE FOR YOU
YOU'RE SHITTING UP THIS PLACE BY BRINGING YOUR ENTITLED ASS INTO THREADS AND DEMANDING TO KNOW WHAT THINGS MEAN WHEN YOU CAN SIMPLY
LURK
MOAR
AND LEARN BOARD CULTURE

AYYYYE MY NIGGA GETTIN HIGH HIGH

>Lads are talking about their chad kids
>Do you have kids user?

K = "kind"
H = hopeless
V = virgin
pretty much a term used by "nice guys"

Kiss-less Handhold-less.

>hey... [chuckles] are you balding?
>so what are you up to these days?
>(mom/dad) hey user, do you have plans for today?

Kissless Handholdless Virgin
These fags brag about how little pussy they get and how weak they are
They really think that's the theme of the board

Kissless Hugless (extra H's can mean never held hands)

Fuck you,, you piece of shit
I see what youre trying to pull

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Well people are gonna think youre a psycho. Are you?

>user i am going to chill your bones

shift left click
thanks user for making me anxious

>"I will be a grandma one day, right user?"

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>Don't you agree user

I never think they are talking to me and it takes me 5 secs to realize

>Using your actual name
You need to lurk for two years before posting

I'm not sure there's a way to self test for that and I dont really have a reason to get tested. I mainly just don't care about making minor social connections with strangers anymore, especially if they're just preprogrammed responses.

>you don't talk much, huh?
or
>why are you always so serious?

I never know how to reply to these questions.

>thinking Brad is really his name
The ironee.

Well might as well just ignore or shrug your shoulders, why waste your breath telling some faggot you have the runs?

Just say this
>why talk?
or
>Because why not?
And if they try to tell you that having that mentality is dumb just say something cheasy like
>easy for you to say
or some shit like that, man I dunno

To examine their reaction when they don't get the response they expected.

Hmm. Interesting. I work as s cashier, I think im bipolar or something, sometimes the stuck up people give me this fucked up look. Its disturbing. Whats your current favorite song and movie?

I don't have a favorite song or movie and I'm starting to distrust your motives user. I dont get yous

Consider this your last (you) from (me).

>I don't think i want to keep it user

"Stranger Things. I really hate how they added the little girl in season 2 just to make conflict and a "who will she pick" plotline."

Thats a blessing

>"So what you been up to user?"
I spend all my day sitting in this chair refreshing this place and thinking up things to do, but having zero motivation to do those things, and berating myself for not having the motivation and being a loser
>"Oh you know, the usual heh"

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>implying this is bone chilling

I'm going to go look for a job.
Yeah, after I graduate college!
Haha, nope but I'll do my best!!
Umm Mom, it's just for the homework!!
I don't know I was out in the snow.
What the fuck those are not mine.
I am not fat. Please look at this graph.
I cast dispel.
I have autism. Please stop with the bigotry, it's highly offensive. I'll call the ADL.
I'm being serious you fucking autist.
Good, how about you?
Is there a problem?
Dragon Ball, it's totally awesome dude.
Only after you die.
Not at all, and here's why...

Same thing with ponies for me.

>Got any plans for the weekend?

originally

>so user, why were you in the psych ward again?...
Usually asked by my whore aunts who show up to family parties with a new guy every time and try to start shit with everyone.

Well, why are you
a bloo bloo

>Wow you're so light!
>Let me pick you up user!
>Damn you're so pale!
>Your feet are so small!
>Your wrists are so thin!
>So what are your hobbies?
>You're so bone-y, don't you ever eat?

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Who the fuck is picking you up?
>Bony

>image originally related

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me
I'll pick him up
and swing him around like a baby

>How's that book coming?

Directly caused by this old gem

>You look kind of... school shooter-y.

>When did you lose your virginity?
>What was your first kiss like?

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>"So... what do you do for a living, user?"

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>"Hi, this is X from the benefit office. Am I talking to, user?"

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>mildly drunk with friends
>one turns around and looks at me for a second
>"shit user you're really ugly"
He's a good friend of mine so i doubt he'd say that to hurt me, it was sincere and brutal like he just realized it.

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>drinking with friend
>they start playing that never have I ever game
>all their questions are sex related

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>So is there even a single virgin working here?
>what about you user?

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>Are you disappointed?
>Why do you never smile user?
>What are you going to do on weekend?

>saving thumbnails
I hope you never find love

>everyone is invited..except user, of course
>(laughter)

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>He's a good friend of mine
think again.

pretty sure he was just joking, nobody would just flat out call someone ugly like that

>I really like you, I wish you were taller, I'd so date you
Happened more than once...

>have you even ever had sex user?!
>(intense laughter)

>Be talking with a group
>Am vocal, making jokes, fitting in
>Conversation topic changes to sex
>Fall completely silent and have nothing to offer the conversation anymore
>Everyone notices
Embarrassing desu

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see, your mistake was participating at all.

>can't just make up shit and posture like normals do
never gonna make it

They would know whether I not I lost my virginity. They haven't even asked they just know. I've lied about kissing girls and they didn't believe me.

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Kosher
Halal
Vegan

"So tell me a little bit about yourself"
>have no real accomplishments besides having graduated high school and no hobbies at all outside of anime and vidya.
>always have to give them a predetermined fake answer and just hope they don't ask any questions.

>bless your heart you look 12 years old
>turn 26 next month

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what's the fake answer?

Keep laughing you fucks.

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