>has depressi >has cousin who has depressi >cousin's birthday >cousin gets no gift >goes out and buys $30 worth of Oreos for cousin >leaves Oreos and train station on the way home from therapist >go back to train station to find Oreos. >where the FUCK are my MOTHERFUCKING OREOS >sees bag on bench >4 little twelve brat cunts going through it >"YOU GODDAMN MOTHERFUCKING TWATS THOSE ARE MY FUCKING COOKIES" >Kid tries to run with bag >train to the cousin's house is arriving >GODDAMMIT I am not getting any more of those fucking cookies >chases after little ballsack >gottagofast.gif >shoulder check the bitch from behind >fat cunt falls right on top of the bag of Oreos. >crushes every one of them. >feelsbadman >picks up bag off crumpled body of the small cocksucker. >get to cousin's place, apologizes for broken cookies. >she doesn't mind. >she's actually really happy >gives me big hug, which she never does usually >"Thank you for remembering my birthday user." >we have ice cream with Oreos and make Oreo milkshakes. >we are both happy for a moment with the Oreos. >feelsgoodman
how was your day, anons? I hope you are also blessed with a Oreo milkshake today.
no I'm not fucking her. I just want her to be happy with the Oreos, user :)
Daniel Gonzalez
This is so wholesome. It made me happy to read
Jonathan Johnson
I'm glad I could make you happy, user! :D
Jason Jackson
She would be even happier if you fucked her.
At least give her oral. It's her birthday.
Luis Flores
Oh no, she wouldn't like that. Plus, there's nothing more depressing than two depressed people fucking while depressed. I think the milkshakes and ice-cream were enough for her. :)
Charles Smith
Fair enough.
You are a good caring cousin.
Ethan Perez
Why is no one talking about the fact that OP physically assaulted a CHILD for COOKIES?
cunt kids deserved worse for eating the cookies anyways
Jonathan Torres
they were ruining my plan to make my cousin happy. she's really nice and has gone through a lot, I new that even though they're Oreos it'd make her that little bit happier. I wasn't going to let some cunt looking for freebies take that away from her just to feed his greedy jowls :(
Joseph Jenkins
>depressi you might be just retarded
David Robinson
he could've called the cops on them, they got off easy
Camden Turner
Of course I am. After all, I'm posting a greentext on Jow Forums about my cousin and how i want her to be happy, aren't I?
The cops wouldn't have gotten there in time. They'll probably get picked up for underage drinking or something anyway sometime soon so justice will come.
Nathan White
just make a fucking citizen's arrest, you faggot
Ayden Barnes
looking forward to the followup thread where OP is caught on CCTV attacking a minor
must be one big autist
Caleb Phillips
I was gonna call you out on being a corporate shill but that's a better thread than 90% of what gets posted on this board nowadays, so you're okay
