Write it out
purify your soul
/catharsis/
I'm such an edgy shit.
what do you do that makes you edgy?
Consciously avoiding intimacy, cynically deriding most people and their decisions, and unconsciously desiring authenticity at the price of destroying anything that gets in the way.
Maybe I'm being too hard on myself. Who knows. Some people tend to like me, I guess, but I still keep them at a distance because I'm too bitter and jaded to not see it as futile.
I'm in a bit of a bad mood, too.
I'm not even too terrible looking but everything else about me is completely fucked. Apparently it's too much to ask society for a cute non landwhale gf who is pure for the world but not for me. At this point it's not even depressing and I just feel apathy
Everything we do is a choice. You can change your life every day in many ways. You just need to motivate yourself to improve and make yourself. Form good habits and break bad habits. Work every day to improve and you will improve in time.
BELIEVE IN YOURSELF
NOT IN THE YOU WHO BELIEVES IN ME
NOT IN THE ME WHO BELIEVES IN YOU
BELIEVE IN THE YOU WHO BELIEVES IN YOURSELF
YOU DRILL IS THE DRILL THAT WILL PIERCE THE HEAVENS
YOU CAN DO IT BECAUSE I BELIEVE IN YOU
>cathartic writing
tch, tch, tch, what nerds. For me, catharsis is more physical, as I don't have the temperment of a WOMAN. I like making noise mmusic with my guitar and pedals. ok? women are statistically less likely to enjo this sorta thing. ok?
dumb women.
stupid dumb idiot women, shiit.
im sick of working
i want to die in my sleep
I want to make so much more fucking money and be a stoic. I don't want to live with my parents for a year or more to save up money so I can move in with my girlfriend. My job pays good like 60k starting but I want to be fucking rich right now so I can help the world.
Don't get me wrong. I had a wonderfully productive day. I just struggle with intimacy even at the platonic level. You're right. It could get better, but I revel in being fucked up in a way, you know? We all take pride in our sicknesses as old man Dostoevsky put it.
FUCK
alright i feel better
What are the odds I'll see my grandchildren if we all marry in our 30's?
I've come to the conclusion that there simply isn't anything for me in this life. Nothing brings me enjoyment or satisfaction, everything that used to either bores or enrages me when I try and touch it. I'm apathetic about any prospects of life improving, and of life itself.
At only 20 years of age it feels rather odd to feel so deeply pessimistic about this dire state of affairs, both personal and of the world at large. But I don't feel this way out of misguidance, rather out of veracity. In short, only death is preferable to this meager, indigent life I live.
Do you feel better after writing that? That is catharsis.
>you can be honest here
I can't write and I'm tired. I hate myself I wish i wasn't so lazy i don't want to die I'm afraid of that But I'm also afraid I'll live my whole life alone
probably high considering you would only be 60 when they would be 30 years old
dumb question
I want pedals but they cost lots of money that I don't have
>eat healthy and exercise
>still die because mortality
>achieve advances in medicine
>still die because it's a losing battle
>achieve biological immortality through technology
>still die when a fucking bus eventually hits you
>manage to upload consciousness to AI
>still die because the sun burns out and incinerates the planet, the cloud, and the internet on the way out
>achieve interplanetary space travel and hop from planet to planet
>still die because the fucking universe undergoes heat death due to entropy
>somehow outsmart that, too
>still die because I only have to get hit by a cosmic bus once in my infinite lifespan
I'm fucked. I'm just fucked.
oh my god finally, I've been checking the catalog for your thread day and night, every day. don't leave yet please. I just woke up and have to get ready
Hey bro. I was thinking of you, how have you been? I want to make these threads more, I guess I have just been very tired lately. I'll be around for a while. I plan to reply to a few posts tonight.
do not force yourself to make these threads then. you are giving away your precious energy, you need every single bit of it. wait and recover, we will all still be here when you come back, even if it's in a long time. we still believe, at least I do. I will now do some shit and when I come back I'm going to write down a bunch of stuff. That might be in an hour or so, so maybe you will miss it. You have to get sleep, especially if you've been feeling exhausted lately. I know you will read everything after the thread is archived, so if you leave before I write anything, you have to know that I still appreciate you, and that it will always be like this. still believing, we're in this together
Everyone I know in my degree program(aerospace engineer) is being inducted into an honors society while I wallow at a 3.1 GPA. I always feel like a failure when I compare myself to them, because I am inferior in every way. It doesn't help that I have the lowest GPA on my senior design team. I failed. College was my last chance to succeed at something at life. And I couldn't even pull that off.
Thank you, my bro. I like to make the thread so that anons have a place to write. I create an environment where they can write freely, I hope. Even if I do not reply, writing about it is important because it helps us face our problems and define them so that we can find the solution. Thank you for always believing in me, I believe in you too, I appreciate you. Nice wojak. Keep fighting the good fight, user that believed.
stay golden
YOU CAN DO IT BECAUSE I BELIEVE IN YOU
fucking FUCKING FUCK FUCK FUCK BITCH FUCKING FUCK FUCK AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA WHY CANT I WORK HARDER INSTEAD OF BEING A FUCKING LOSER WHO'S TOO LAZY TO GO TO THE BATHROOM AND PISS
poopy mommy uguu
I have been employed for about 7 years, since I was 18. I know how it is to be beaten down by a job. You have to find a new job, you are feeling boredom because your job is below your capability. It wears on you. Be brave. Find a new job, even if it is slightly outside of your comfort zone. I believe in you.
BELIEVE IN YOURSELF
NOT IN THE YOU WHO BELIEVES IN ME
NOT IN THE ME WHO BELIEVES IN YOU
BELIEVE IN THE YOU WHO BELIEVES IN YOURSELF
YOUR DRILL IS THE DRILL THAT WILL PIERCE THE HEAVENS
YOU CAN DO IT BECAUSE I BELIEVE IN YOU
That's the thing innit. We're all gonna die. Doesn't mean you or I are fucked; who said death is a bad thing? Having an opportunity to live and not living it, THAT is fucked.
I spend 33.3 hours a week on YouTube. That's 19.8% of my time, for every hour I live, almost 12 minutes is spend watching Vine Compilations and other retarded brain-numbing shit. I'm self aware, but I'm an addict. And I have resolved to change.
It's so stereotypical but I'm just lonely. I know even if I were to find somebody it wouldn't solve any of my problems, it'd just create new ones. I don't want to have to look, I just want somebody who's already here to make it easy, and I feel so guilty about that. I just want it to be here already. This is something people are supposed to work for, right? I'm improving myself, slowly but surely, but if I don't put myself out there it's not going to matter. And I can't put myself out there without causing problems and awkward situations for myself and others. I'm too scared to do it anyways, so I won't. I'm not going to complain about this to anybody I know because it's stupid and common sense but I need to admit that it's stupid "out loud" somehow. Thanks for the thread, OP. Appreciate it.
cocksucking niggers ejaculate into the primordial bowl of soup that gave birth to the universe of niggers and i want to kill niggers all day with my machine gun at the borders with my friend joe and i will kill all the niggers nigggernsiiggeiiaj
im drunmk please dont arrest me i wont kill niggers i swear
Among my close friends, I try to be the happy one. The one you can always go to if you need someone to listen, or just need a hug. You'll never bump into me and not instantly see a smile on my face, because I want you to also be happy. I seem strong, because no matter what, you'll never see me break down, never see me sad or cry. You can tell me anything about yourself whenever you need to, and I will never judge you. But you'll never know about my own problems. The emptiness I feel after every time we say goodbye, every time I'm lying awake in the middle of the night, just staring at the ceiling wondering when I'm finally going to be able to force myself to tell you "I need help." Because I know I do. Because I'm going to waste my entire life, not knowing what to do or where to go. I have no goals - what's the point in money or fast cars or 20,000 square foot mansions? What I want more than anything is someone who truly just understands me. I want to wake up with you in my arms, and know that you will always be there whenever I'm silently crying for help. But I can't take that first step to get you to know me. I don't know how to open myself up, to tell you about my problems, to show you my vulnerabilities. It's something I know will never happen, but I want someone to be able to see under the mask of happiness I constantly wear and tell me, "I understand. I'm here for you. You don't have to pretend for my sake anymore." I'm tired of pretending, but don't know how to stop.
So in the meantime, I won't stop. Until you finally realize I need you to be there for me, I'll be there for you.
Because if I can't speak, I'll spend every minute of my life listening.
Anons, i got a job today. I start in a week when the store opens. Maybe there is hope
And Emily, I want to thank you. For every time you went out of your way to acknowledge I was there and try to interact with me. So many times as you say with me after school in the hallway I thought, "This is it. I'll finally tell you how I feel," but thought better of it. I don't want to ruin our friendship if you say no. But perhaps more than that, I'm terrified of if you say yes. I don't know how to bring you on dates, parties, dances, or concerts. You seemed to at least enjoy the classical music I mainly listen to, you watch some anime, and like chess, but after that, what do we do? What do we talk about? You know I can't start conversations. I don't even have Netflix. Even if we do start dating, I'm know it won't work. I'm afraid that you'll eventually see that I'm boring. I can't make jokes or small talk. Or worse, you'll stay with me and my depression will start to drag you in too. And I can't let that happen.
congratulations user, do good.
What am I doing with my life? Is this how it's going to be for me? A quiet hermit, just trying to eek out an existence as silently as possible. Do I really want this? Do I really seek to be alone? Is it even worth reaching for more? Is this how I wish to live my once chance at life?
I want to die.
There is nothing else I want that's possible.
I want a woman to love me and not what I produce for her, I want this world to be fun and not as limited, I want an afterlife that's better than this, I want friends who don't ignore me except to vent, I want my death to be painless, I want wanting things to not be called entitlement since everyone else is complacent, I want everything in this universe to vanish.
I have no idea what to do. I already gave my two-week notice because I hated being a cashier but I want money at the same time. The thing is I need a break. Normalfags drain me mentally.I don't know what to fucking do with my life. I hate everything... I have no talent whatsoever
-3months into new job already want to quit
-want to suck dick so much its driving me crazy
-want to just run away and leave all my family behind so i can start fresh and fuck guys without hiding from my family
your're only 20 there still hope for you user.
dont give up just yet
im a lot like that, always joking around making sure im making people around me laugh.
but i just want someone to pay attention to me and ask me if im okay. i so afraid im wasting my life.
i know i can achive something i really gave 100% but the motivation is never there.
my pathetic wish it hear someone say to me "i love you" and mean it. i want to know what that feels like.
dont give up user we're on this shit together
Thanks for replying, user. It helps a little to know that you're out there feeling the same way, we've got that in common. It's not a pathetic goal though. A ton of people strive for that exact thing, at the very least the both of us, right? We're in it together, like you said. Anything I can do to help you out, please let me know, user.
my girlfriend does not care that i am depressed. she talks over my depressive episodes and when im being suicidal. i am asking too much of her to care of my mental illness and forcing her to respond. i want to kill myself to prove to her that she shouldve cared. iw ant her to feel guilty
>thinking woman truly care about anything other than themselves and what they can get from others
I'm sorry user, I used to think this too.
It's a sin to confess your sins to other people.
It is good to talk about our lives because it brings us together.
I see the world and the people it it for what they are. They are selfish, callous, unfeeling towards others to a fault except when it might directly concern them. This never-ending cycle of misery grinding along throughout all of civilization makes me sick, and yet I WANT TO SAVE THEM! I WANT TO SAVE THE WORLD AND ALL ITS PEOPLES IF ONLY TO DISTILL HUMANITY INTO A SPECIES THAT DESERVES ITSELF AND THE FRUITS IT BEARS! I WANT TO SEE MANKIND GROW IN DIRECTIONS UNHEARD OF, I WANT TO SEE THEM REACH OUT TO THEIR FELLOW BEING AND OFFER A SHOULDER TO LEAN ON IF ONLY FOR A MOMENT! I LOVE HUMANITY NOT FOR WHAT IT IS BUT FOR WHAT IT COULD BE! YET, I ALSO FEEL THE INVERSE SOLUTION COULD APPLY - EXTERMINATION OF ALL HUMANKIND WOULD PRESENT A COMPARABLE OUTCOME TOWARDS LESSENING OR OUTRIGHT ELIMINATING HUMAN SUFFERING OUTRIGHT! NONETHELESS I AM HOPEFUL FOR ITS POTENTIAL AND WILL STOP AT NOTHING TO SEE MY GOALS FULFILLED!
you should make a thread during early hours sometime, like maybe on a weekend. I would really love to talk to you sometime, and that's only possible when it's evening for me. it's up to you though, I can see it being annoying that way. see you dude, you can be sure to find me in your next thread. I might even pre-write some stuff when I have time, because I would really like to ask you some things.
I'm a coward, weakling, and a waste of space failing to put up the facade of a confident capable loner by throwing myself into impossible situations far beyond my capabilities because deep down I never gave up dreaming of growing up to be someone's hero so now I've all but doomed myself to die as a homeless vet who did nothing of value in the service and has no skills or even a cool story to tell. I've become terrified of people to the point I can't hold a proper conversation and I'm not even sure if I'm avoiding others or they're avoiding me. Probably both. I wish I could consider suicide an option but between my religious upbringing and not wanting to cause any trouble for the people I work with Im stuck in this pathetic life spending everyday dreaming and pretending to be someone important until God has mercy and ends my suffering. I need God to exist BAD because if he dosen't there is nowhere I'll ever belong and no one who will ever love me.
In this world of constant security of feelings, and life, I feel an eternal rage burning within myself every day when I wake up. My mind races, and attempts to make a clarification of why we must continue to exist in this incestuous loop of victimhood and weakness. In the end, it is the state who has done this to us. Especially within the United States. They have offered us lives of complacency, poverty, and low funded government educations which have been replacing with overprice private institutions. I am a avid fan of the WH40K Universe and will ensure that the Imperium of Man is brought about. That weakness, and "Political Correctness" Becomes a thing of the past. No rules any longer, examples must be made. War, is the motherfucking answer, Ave Imperator.
i waste money on the dumbest shit. i wish to stop drinking. i wish to stop smoking. i wish to stop using drugs.
i want to get a good job or study something i'm interested in. idea of working/studying scares me because i haven't done either of those for a long time. i want to change but i'm caught between two worlds it feels, and to achieve my goal i'll have to "abandon" my friends.
a certain girl is messing up my feelings too at the moment. i can't figure out her intentions.
I am a motherfucking piece of edgy autist shit cunt that needs to die in a mass shooting
I do most of this stuff too, I can't break the habit. Some "friends" are not worth holding onto but you can make choices. Do a thing and stuff will happen, fuck u I'm tired
Hey, I'm about 2 weeks in uni and its been okay so far, I haven't had any close friends but I'm okay with it.