I have been a god boy all weak, which means mommy made me waffles with strawberries

going to spend next weekend at my mums. we'll chat, watch movies and she'll make me real food, not the microwave shit i normally eat. it's going to be good.

Literally the worst feel I've ever felt.

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My mom has an auto immune disease and has been in out of hospital constantly recently, I don't have any siblings or any other family really, if she dies I'll probably follow pretty quickly.

those are not american waffles you fucking retard. My guess is norwegian.

.t buttmad circular waffle consumer

would she want u to do this

>mom beats me with jumper cables
>but I'm sexually a masochist

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probably not but i'm depressed enough as it is and it's not like she'd be around anymore. I couldn't do it now because I love her too much and the guilt would be too much / I'm not that selfish but if she dies I have nothing left

have u talked to her about it?

yes, my mom knows i have mental health issues / diagnosed issues and she knows i'm really depressed but what can I do.

i've tried multiple medications, seen countless psychs, nothing helps me. I'm not going to put more problems onto my dying mom.

>I'm not that selfish but if she dies I have nothing left
>mfw I don't want to feel this feel but it's all too real
Not him, but what's there to talk about, bro ? It will only make her feel worse. Unless she's alright with taking you with her, I dunno. In this case you could make it romantic and commit suicide together, but I guess this is not the case with most people.

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u tried non-prescription drugs?

i am pretty close with my mom so if i were in this situation id probably tell her i would commit suicide too, but i dont know

i don't enjoy stimulants very much but i use downers frequently so i can at least have some relief and not feel like hanging myself every waking moment.

I'm not really sure if that's what you meant though, this isn't really a means to an end or proper treatment. just ways for me to cope

>i am pretty close with my mom
I really wish I could say the same, we're alright for now, but we had a shitty past and I can't forgive her for the awful shit that she's said to me.

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every once in a while i take some acid and have a really good trip that kind of restores my confidence and reminds me how well i can function. i think you should at least try acid, dmt, or something else one time. also, reading and philosophy can help. i dont really like philosophy anymore but if you read something (non fiction) about a topic you really enjoy, it can go far for you. at least in my own experience. i like reading non fiction because i learn and get better at doing things and boost my self confidence since i am educating myself and doing something productive

You must be praying a lot. Good for you, user!