/r9gay/ - #335

Thinking about looking at some shitty yaoi doujinshi like I usually do.

I am the user you're quoting and iktfb. It complicates matters more because it means that walking around and doing nothing isn't as much fun.

There is no evidence sedentary lifestyle amounts to hemorrhoids.
There is evidence straining amounts to hemorrhoids, so fix your diet fatso.

Thinking about wanting a bf but there's literally no opportunities to meet anyone in my area. It's all old, fat, grooss hairy dudes

How was it stolen, don't you keep it inside?
I keep mine in the public corridor in my apartment building, but it's a pretty old bike, and crime is pretty low here, so I have no real fear anybody will steal it.

You don't need friends to go outside and talk a walk or ride a bike or to go to a gym.

Link to the last thread: Qotd is in the OP again
Maybe we should get a pastebin one day? I'm sure there are some FAQs we could keep from being repeated that way

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Thinking about if i get the job at a gas station that's near me for the summer.
And ofc thinking of having a big sweetheart caring bf who loves me. But the thought of having someone like that is as close as I'll get to a real bf.

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I kept it outside locked to one of the columns that supports my deck

guys, forget about BFs for a second, Ridley is in smash brothers.

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strongbob haha

>forget about BFs for a second
No.

Keeping a bike outside is just asking for trouble, is your apartment or house too small to put it in?
I really like riding a bike, it's basically the only physical activity that involves moving a long distance that I enjoy so I try to take at least some care of it.

Never! Not until my dream of a french bf comes through!

I'm actually skinnyfat, are you saying my diet of tendies and mountain dew is bad for me?

Why French? You know that they cheat don't you? They're even worse than Italians in that respect.

>tfw no ridley player bf

I don't play smash.

>tfw no cute skinnyfat bf
don't mind me
just whispering feels into the wind

>tfw everyone in your area is an extremely attractive yuppie who probably already has an extremely attractive yuppie bf anyway
the other end of the spectrum isn't much more pleasant
at least you aren't afflicted with your inferiority every day

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I like france as a country and never met a french dude i didnt find cute. Interesting on the other hand?
I had no idea they were unfaithful. I don't date bi guys for that same reason though.

if dubs I'm going anyway
I will go where my waddle paddles lead me

Just thinking about how good of a idea this prank is that I'm plotting this Friday. My best friend will never expect something like this, just hope he doesn't take it the wrong way.

>no BF ti watch E3 with.

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>giving a fuck about E3
kys

Tfw no guts bf
I didn't have anyone to watch E3 with either. Maybe some year.

>I had no idea they were unfaithful
To say that they are simply unfaithful is an understatement. It is the only nation on the planet where more than half of its population deems adultery moral. Every single French president has had known mistresses, as does every French member of parliament.

dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1195624/French-women-dont-just-tolerate-husbands-affairs--expect-them.html

>what are you thinking about today?
him, i really hope he has a good day

Yeah but do they even have proper relationships or just mindless, STD ridden fucking

E3 was shit this year.

Daily reminder fags cannot be robots under any circumstances. All fags are sex crazed demons, therefore even the spergiest ugliest autist can get laid 10 times a week on Grindr.

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I can't say, I'm not very close to any of them.

What about the aces though?

But you can see guys openly holding hands or putting their arms around each other and stuff like that. So I assume a good portion of them are in relationships.

Normgroid gays first hook up with a minimum of 200 strangers before settling, You have nothing to envy of them.

>implying I want a bf or to get laid
kek

user, I ain't sex crazed, never had sex and will probably never have it either, unless for some reason some poor soul wants me as their bf. And why do you think sex is the only thing that makes you into a robot? You're delusional.

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And you could go visit a prostitute you whiny bastard.

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Thats a bit shit. Stop being sluts france! How am i supposed to look after my french bf if he's out being a whore!

Todd you know you can just create a bf in fallout or skyrim remastered.

So can you faggot, at least you have ethe option of getting it free.

>no bf to play seige with

I'm not Todd, I'm Rodd. You got the wrong person buddy.

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straight people L I T E R A L L Y cannot be robots, you could spend 5 seconds on tinder and get easy sex

>tfw no bf to read Siege with

No, tinder is unlike grinder cause all fags want is to fuck. You know about the 80/20 rule, fruit.

Damn I thought you were Todd, that guy's truly amazing. I mean who wouldn't want to date that creative genius?

>implying the 80/20 rule is real
kek no wonder you spend time making ass blasted posts on r9k

I dont want to fuck though. I wanna look after my bf and cook him dinner and draw him baths after work and stuff!

Delusional. We live in a sex crazed society that is going into the trash. A lot of women these days are bimbo whores. I just want a boyfriend to spend some time with. Also not sex crazed. Just lonely.

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>all fags want is to fuck
I don't, and I don't want my bf to be a slut either, so my options are fairly limited.

>tfw sex crazed and lonely
how do I ascend to your level?

Sorry, my step sister Rodd was bothering you, i took care of her. But yeah I am indeed a genius and I could be your bf for some time, first I'd like you to pre-order all of my future remasters and games for 5 years.

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>I just want a bf to X
>I want to Y for my bf
>I want my bf to Z

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>Implying it isn't
Imagine being this retarded

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Literally repress your sexual urges. Nofap helps.

Whats wrong with that user-kun?

>Daily dick statistic poll

How big is your penis Jow Forums?
How big would your ideal penis be?

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>tfw brainlet
even the robot agress

Of course toddster, I could never resist preordering such masterpieces as skyrim for 360, ps3, xb1, ps4, switch, pc. Fallout 3, 4, Oblivion. All the games you want baby

>tfw no W bf
>tfw will never have a bf because of V

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get back to sleep already

youtube.com/watch?v=dLPeh8ew74Y&t=1641s

>tfw no bf to do X with

>How big is your penis Jow Forums?
Doesn't matter.
>How big would your ideal penis be
Doesn't matter.

Please stop this. This is not important and is just dumb.

Top kek. I found this much funnier than I should have.

>tfw you get asked to vc

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I enjoy doing X, can I be your bf?

post y and we'll see

>is insecure about Y and so chooses not to respond

Do you look like Z though?

I misuse of spoilers if that's close enough?

You misuse of spoilers? No. Nowhere near good enough!

also misuses spoilers s-stutter, something about cute boys
[insert contact information]

Generic sad face emote
stuttering accepting response
s-sent

>tfw no
*rolls dice*
>eccentric curly haired bf that
*rolls dice*
>likes to play bagpipes and
*rolls more dice*
>only plays text based rpgs
Did I do it right r9gay?

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Generic mad Jow Forums member saying delusional shit about gays. Has some disgusting picture to go with it or something edgy.

I too want a bf like this
I would say that you did

something about not being like the other gays

several random replies to obvious bait about how x doesn't y

>put on headphones
>they make my hair stick up dramatically
hell yeah
my professor walked in on me looking at myself in the mirror

>do not wash hair for a few days
>hair remains in whichever position I place it in and doesn't get in my eyes

What is /r9gay/ listening to?
youtube.com/watch?v=WguCPnVJ5r0

>tfw no psybient bf
a wandering wojak wistfully weeps

youtube.com/watch?v=tN7rzRBVjRQ
original music

>tfw no
*turns to random page of book*
>one in ten thousand bf who is born with some independence that
*turns to random page of another book*
>soothes and quiets animals and
*turns to random page of another book*
>who turns his thoughts to other less worrying things

7 inch length and 5.25 girth, pretty good.

too bad i have such a wimpy cumshot.

6.5x5
very happy with it personally
>ideal penis size
doesnt matter to me desu

Here is the special fuck who thinks his dick size is important and worth telling others.
At least have a big dick when you do that fuck sake.

>tfw no bf who *flips card* has strong arms that can choke me out and is *flips card* aggressively ignorant of what's inappropriate to say in public and also *flips card* hates Chicago style pizza

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I two out of three do I count comment