/r9gay/ - #337

>Daily reminder you'll never have thiss

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Too up man, lower the standards.

To what? Fat and old? No thanks! Back to hunting frenchies i guess.

No like, people can fit in your standards (I do) but lower them and I'm sure you'll find more guys.

Any is too much

Meh... i've given up on seriously finding anyone. Over here you're all crazy and over in legbutts they're all tranny train wrecks.

So true desu, don't give up man tho, you can do it!

Anything except "beards"(pubes) or hipster bs is fine. A week old stubble is fine.

Listen i'll say this:
French
Stable
Thats all im really after. But i wont find that here. I just like talking to you lot at this point.

I honestly don't really like any facial hair on guys. Mine grows really fast though, it's such a pain to shave every day. I hate it.

I'm French.

Do you want to sell me your soul?

A better question would be how much pubic hair is too much.
Because forest-tier seems universally disliked

Not particularly but i wouldn't say no to a chat with the unholy father either.

Met up with a guy I saw for a bit today, first time we've spoken in a year. My heart raced when he messaged me asking to meet up but I guess that was just stress of him coming back into my life. He was being very flirty but I wasn't interested. Why did I turn down my probably one chance at a relationship?

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Not french but near, and thanks user!

Draw the line at looking like a hobo beard.
You either groom that beard or not have one.

Thanks for what? Did i do something nice by accident again?

I'm a fat bastard though. I think I would wasting your time. Plus you said stable, I'm schizophrenic. Certainly not entirely stable.

I dont mind you being fat but schizo? Sorry. No way. I feel for you though.

That's alright I wasn't looking for anything anyway.

>tfw i have a crush on discord friend
>Tfw i bought a game just to play for him
>tfw i privte dm him almost everyday
I hate it when he plays with other people I just want to play with him i dont know why i get so jealous and clingly

youtube.com/watch?v=ODhNU0hi8CU

i'm about to take a shower does anyone want to join me? /catsmile

>being fat
Gross.

Like stop eating nigga.

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You said it's nice to talk to me, I feel flattered.

Maybe stop making them hamburgers for a living then

Oh. Well im glad to have flattered you i guess although it wasnt my intention. My heart belongs to another.

What should I make instead?

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archive.nyafuu.org/meta/thread/66643/#q68441

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>he doesn't want his own house.

>the annoying tripfag is also a kike
Like pottery

Oh... Well, I'll find someone for sure haha. Maybe

Reminder that fags cannot be robots #337
How much faggotry is too much? edition

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A kike AND a la creatura 56%

Houses are memes.

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Any of you guys have a recommendation on a first dildo? I want to order one real bad, but have no idea where to start.

What are you looking for? What would your ideal bf be like?

I know this is bait but that pic is humorous to me
It's not that it's false, it's that 99% of people here wouldn't be included in those statistics even if they wanted to

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What are you, a fag AND an incel?

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>tfw you used to like the idea of having a clingy bf until you met people that were clingy
It's great until you inadvertently upset them by talking about someone else or doing something with someone else. It sucks having to walk on eggshells when you care about someone

Who wouldn't?
I eagerly await the day I can transform from a twink into a bloatlord.

I don't know as long as he can handle me. Like keep a conversation is really important and also to be comprensive. On looks as long as he is not ugly af I don't really care. That's actually it (Me very clingy)

Where do you live?
Whats your first language?

bad-dragon.com original lol

Sorry that's actually a little bit private but south Europe.

I'm not, but a lot of people here are

Say no more. I know where you live.

Can someone give me tips in how to be flirty with a sub/bottom/fem guy? I just dont know what they want when im talkin to a cute guy and conversation always dead ends. Id like to speak/text in a more dominant manner. Thanks boys

I guess i gotta be less clingy.to be honset i dont think hes into me anyways.Thanks for the input

?? Wot, where? How? Why?

Say.
Yo bitch whatchu doing, I want your boipussy ya dig?

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Don't be cringy, and do not center only in sex.

You live in southern europe silly! I was just playing dw dw.

Oh haha... So do you want to talk or something?

Sure. Post discord. We can talk there.

What does not cringey mean? I mean, im pretty good at talking to people for someone whos borderline autistic.

>more than 1000 partners
BAHAHHAHAHAHAHA

Do not be like:
I'm gonna penetrate your boipucci with my throbbing cock *bulge grows bigger*
Really, do not.

Post yours or a dump mail, I currently can't.

Yea I'm not like that.

Ah then keep up positivity and you'll sure get it.

Damn Vanguard has really shifted their business model. I thought they did investment banking, but i guess they just really hate the gays.

>The best dirty talk is actually very autistic and matter-of-fact. Describe things that are happening during the sexual encounter in very concise sentences with poor detail. Every once in awhile, ask your partner how they feel about something that is happening during the sexual encounter.

>I have no idea why this is. What is arousing as dirty talk is often obvious and unnecessary in ordinary conversation.
Things like
>that sandwich is in your mouth
>are you enjoying your sandwich?
>I hope your parents don't walk in and see you eating that sandwich
>do you like it when I make sandwiches this way?
>you are a sandwich eater, you are insatiable and cannot stop eating sandwiches
>turn around. I want to see your face while you eat that sandwich

Substitute sandwich with sexual organs and suddenly you have viable dirty talk. Instead of reacting with "yes, I know your penis is in my vagina, it's extremely obvious to me and I'm not sure why you're pointing it out", which is how you would think one would intuitively react, it's a turn on, and you just have to go with it even though it doesn't make any sense.
Quoted from some rando thread last month, its a little autismo but you should be able to learn from this starting point. Also go read a book about seduction

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>that pic
if you reach a point with someone where you'd share lewds and their dick looked all uvula-like i.e. bad what's the proper course of action?

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Not that guy, but i think in all cases its better to see dick in the heat of the moment. Sharing dick via image reduces its value. I'd recommend not ever sending dick pics unless its your s.o.

it was an open question.
you mean in the heat of the moment in real life, right
the sounds like the proper answer but i dont think it's the the preferred one.

>had some mac and cheese and chips
>Feel utterly disgusted with myself
I really need to move out

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Ya irl my nigger

i just know if i were exclusively bottom, i would feel like gravity had increased if in the heat of the moment,
feeling really horny, he pulled down his boxers to reveal a 3 inches standing at attention

Depends on the person. Some people would prefer you be upfront if you think theri *ahem* "equipment" looks sub-par. Most of the time just give a generalized compliment that seems true enough if what they have isn't enough of a deal breaker for you to just dip out. Very very rarely should it be a dealbreaker if its just ugly but otherwise of proper shape and function

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*Schnappen*

Jep, dieser geht direkt zu meiner Cringe Compilation!

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how is the guy supposed to stay tight after taking a pounding?

dunno, kegels?

Don't do it too often. Squeeze your anus throughout the day, usually you're fine and won't leak but if you want it to be tighter, than squeeze it, do kegels, etc.

Surely. There are limitions.
Looser means you have better control of the muscle because you're not involuntarily tightening it.

Stop talking like a 19th century philosopher and get over yourself fag

Then* Also some people manage to take a pounding at remain tight doing nothing.

but tight is better isn't it?

Read the last sentence of my post gaylord, I know its autismo but I didn't write it. I'm not reformatting it so you don't get your knickers in a twist

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become one? yes

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>tfw no boyfriend that serves me his flesh for breakfast and dinner

>was shy introvert who knows nothing about lewd and straightedge past teens
>now drug addict who wants to get slapped around and abused to get off
why ;~;

That's what all the jokes imply

>tfw been waiting the whole day for the grumpy boy to start posting
Sigh, hope he finally had some sleep at least.

>"my boipucci's yours if you can catch me"

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He should replace chaotic neutral on that retarded chart tbqh

When I warm up to a guy and feel like he's coming off as flirty, I always end up saying very sarcastic things that come off as mean (or so I've been told)

Read from a thread before that if you hug your pillow, it feels particularly relaxing - thus tried it as follows;
>lying in bed at 6 A.M, completely exhausted and about to get my smol sleep
>remember aforementioned thing about hugging pillows
>decide that i have nothing to lose, take a pillow from the other side of my bed and hug it
>start to feel really embarrassed and warm all over
>scared that someone will catch me hugging my pillow
>sort of get flustered for a while then just burst out laughing to myself at how stupid the situation is
>place pillow back in its place and giggle to myself for 5 minutes thinking how stupid i am
>sleep

What are your experiences doing this type of thing? Also what are your favourite cocktails? Had a white Russian earlier and it was divine!

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Stop calling me grumpy and start minding your own business.

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Is this where you go to recieve your government issued cute bf?

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