This app is so fucking shit, I'm tired of it. Fuck this

This is good, also original

How do I mention my 6'0 height and my exotic heritage in the bio without being a mingy spaff?

What concerns me more than anything is their complete inability to actually carry on a semi-intelligent conversation, more than anything. They have nothing aside from memes and completely shallow nonsense. Even self-described "readers" only read shit like Harry Potter, and usually years ago.

>haha im so sarcastic :)))))))))
>i love lil peep/ other rap niggers
>im bi :)
>DUDE WEED LMAO
>obese
>cheesy pick up lines win me over xddd
>i don't message first!
>DUDE NETFLIX LMAO
>I'm a gamer!!!!!!!
>>plays overw*tch
>black
>trans
>dog filter
>omg i love vine references!

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use a bunch of gay emojis
you can use the nationality flag and ruler

Living in a smaller city sucks, I got like 20 matches my first week on tinder and now I'm lucky if I get 1 a week. I did meet a couple chicks but it didn't go anywhere.

And yeah the women on here are 90% shit. I meet better people irl but don't know how to approach them romantically, so I'm stuck trying this bullshit.

And then what else do I put in the bio?

around here it's
>i love hiking and being in the mountains
>1 or 2 pictures of them hiking a well known trail

no hyperbole; it's literally on 80% of profiles

i used to like hiking, but i almost hate it now because of how normal it is.

I would recommend some interests that show how 'cool' you are and separate you from the herd
Sports, rock climbing, collect stamps
Just not boring shit like netflix and video games
you can also put up some accolades or short anecdotes that could lead to humorous conversation

Yea bro if you don't mind dropping some knowledge let us know. I find irl way easier than Tinder but I know dudes who have had a lot of easy lays from it. What's the system? I don't have loads of good pics of me either because I am not very narcissistic. Like 90% of the pics I have of me are with other girls because they ask to take them.

>saying 'hey' isn't enough, make me laugh.
>is 3/10
>fat af
>personality of a brick wall
These dumb bitches expect to exist and get attention, while bringing nothing other than their vagina to the table.

Give me an example of a good short anecdote because I'm afraid of saying something way too autistic

her personality is an 8/10. At least.

>Every bio feels like it's constructed of the same 4 or 5 lines, and has the exact same typing style and "humor"
>Anything above a 5/10 won't match you unless you're a chad
>It feels as though the app is mocking you every time it offers you an Instagram model with 900 photos who is 1500 miles away
>If you get a match they might just straight up not respond to you
>Women never want to engage with you or invest in the conversation at all, you have to constantly be dangling a shiny object in their face to keep their attention
I thought online dating was supposed to be the way out, why is it so terrible

>girl agrees to hang out
>ask for their number or try to set up a date
>they stop responding
why does this keep happening

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Do you have a scripted opening line? I'll match with women, but have no idea how to be entertaining on such a superficial level. So they get bored and things don't escalate.

>Birthday balloons
>"I love travel/hiking!"
>"Take me on an adventure!"
>"Doggos!"
>Something about pizza or junk food
>Studying to become a teacher
>"NO FUCKBOYS!"
>EMPLOYED AT FULL-TIME MOMMY
>"If you can't handle me at my worst you don't deserve me at my best!"
>Insta/Snap ads

W*men were a fucking mistake, oh my God. However, apparently guys are just as bad, with a huge portion of profiles just being abs and pictures of cars with dick/height measurements.

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They only want attention. Girls can get any guy they want irl, why would they go on Tinder? Just to find you? the one special snowflake they could never find irl? They want attention and that is literally it mate. I'd try that irl and find a girl worthy of your time, not some tinder thot

user there comes a point in every mans life where he takes the true redpill on female nature
and that is it is indeed their nature and nothing can change it
roasties will always be vapid and blank slates but you shouldnt hate them for that
you shouldnt hate a dog for it being unable to understand calculus, its a dog, it was never meant to
nor should you hate roasties for having no personality, because they are meant to be a blank slate for you to mold into your support
you can hate them for being gigantic whores though, definitely a disgusting and only modern phenomenon, since most used to be virgins till marriage less than 60 years ago

Online dating is solely there to match women with nearby available Chads. That's all.

>Be me
>Hiked across the country
>Bicycled across the western United States
>Tinder girls gush over outdoors
>Figure I'll meet girls that enjoy will be interested
>None of them give a shit.

I'm a little pissed that they think that they are more interesting than I am, but it's their loss.

>I don't have loads of good pics
This is a big problem
Good looks = instant attraction
Nothing makes women swipe left faster than you looking average or ugly

I don't know your life man.
What are you proud of in yourself?
You have to sell yourself with some confidence..

Let's say you're good at sports:
You can underplay it by mentioning you still have your little league trophies
Or you can go all out on how you love to pile on sweaty men
The trick is to be interesting and witty

Just be yourself is a lie. Be someone worth talking to

That has been my personal experience with tinder. I'm expected to be funny, carry the conversation, pay for dates, do literally everything to continue the interaction, and for what? Some fat fucking tinder thot with absolutely no personality.

Understand that even a 4/10 on Tinder is receiving 100 matches a day, they don't have time for you unless you're the best option they have... and, well, sorry sonny Jim but you're statistically NOT the best option they have. The best part is a lot of them think men have the exact same Tinder situation and that even regular guys get 100 matches a day. They don't realise Tinder is literally rigged to try and abuse men into making more profiles (to increase the total number of users so the platform looks better) and buying Gold/Plus (to make money). It's funny because on Tinder, women ARE the product for men. It's just a pussy pamphlet where either VIP members or Chads can pick and choose who they want to fuck.

I have a feeling that Tinder puts a few fake Instagram models in there just to get guys to swipe right more. This causes them to to run out of likes faster and possibly buy Plus.

She is 5/10 unironically. Are most girls actually this insecure? Mostly because of their own high standards?

> 6ft 6in, 18y/o, 210lbs, rational brain
> legitimately try tinder
> swipe right on many girls (probably hundreds)
> super like many girls
> exhaust my area a few times
> lower my standards a lot
> get others opinions of my profile
> have been doing this for 90+ days
> total matches: 0.00
> haven't sent a single message

Now it's at the point where I am officially demoralized. I'm done because it hurts my wittle virgin feelings to look at that bullshit app. Bitches are not shit

no her personality is that she has depression and anxiety
just like us robots!

Tinder does a lot of fucky shit. A lot of the profile are bots, a lot are obvious fakes, and Tinder also "eats" your swipes sometimes without reimbursing you. As in, you swipe right on a girl, close the app, then the next time you open it she appears on your feed again and you have to swipe on her again. This is either because it's the exact same profile as before, or a different profile that is exactly the same.

She's fat. If she wasn't fat she'd be attractive, but being fat drops you to a 4/10 instantly, no matter how attractive the rest of you is.

If they actually had either of those things then maybe we could relate to each other, but they don't even know what those are like.

all she has going for her is fat tits

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Post pictures other people have taken of you for your height. You should not have too many selfies. Even if your mom takes the pic it works because it seems like you hang out with people. also you can frame your height.
use flag emojis maybe for your exotic nature.

I always used the opening line from Master of None which is "going to whole foods... need anything?". I only moved away from this line if there was something easy from their bio that you can ask about or agree with.

Dude, just look at her face
Fat face = clinically obese

Thats not even a slam pig. It's just a pig. You dick probably wont even reach the end of her bitt cheeks or make it past her belly..

you are so right
i'm willing to try
but the journey ahead is perilous and I could some advice

I need an opener too, pic related is my only match right now. Her profile is just generic shit.
I usually aim a bit higher, but I take what I can get. She's at least kinda cute I guess.

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Don't even think about sex until you're married, boyo.

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>kinda cute
wtf
at leas the other girl showed some skin
this one is fucking disgusting
also how are we supposed to give advice when we can't see her bio?

Dude I'd give anything to be able to have a girl like that. You normies and your tinder threads are disgusting, Jow Forums should be for robots only.

Too late
I just want a clear path to those milkers

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They aren't interested because it's not about them. It doesn't raise their status or reduce that of another roastie, so it is irrelevant to the roast brain.

your bio should be as simple as possible.
maybe 3 to 5 things. something sort of quick.

I can't even get the app to upload my picture. So I've officially given up on finding someone.

Been using tinder for 5 years and these posts made me kek for being truly accurate

Also let's not forget:
>LOOKING FOR A MAN NOT A BOY

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weak. I've been on tinder for months and still havent gotten a match. I'm not super ugly either, at least a 6/10.

you are either ugly or live in the middle of fucking nowhere

>mfw the word "dog" on their tinder

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These "dog moms" are mentally ill. It takes a lot of retardation to love a stupid animal over a human being.

Not him, but I live in NYC so lots and lots of people. I had tinder for a year and never got a single like.

>He wouldn't choose to save the life of his loyal companion over some roastie

>Not him, but I live in NYC
I live in NYV as well and have gotten over 200 matches in 5 years of use. I end up deleting them because they never talk, or because they have the personality of a wet mop.

I don't like animals or generic run of the mill Western women.

>I don't like animals
That makes sense. Not everyone has to like animals. I think that people like myself who like them have something of a mental obsession with the concept of innocence or natural behaviour that we hypocritically hold while also expecting humans to act against their nature.

That's nice. Does it feel good to get a match? I always fantasized about it.

You can game the system to anticipate when you'll match by checking out the the pixelated preview
Getting a match when they swipe second on you feels good man
It's why the app is so addictive

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It feels "OK" when it's fatties, nigs, or spics. The chances of me getting a decent white woman is once every 8 months.

>It's why the app is so addictive

Damn I wish I got any likes. It sounds nice, I hate being a no-value male.

Bruh trust me. Whatever you think she is now. Add 100 pounds to that. DO NOT meet tinder bitches whomst you have ANY doubts about their weight

I have friends and can talk to guys and girls. But everytime i talk to girls it sounds like im talking like an older brother.
I think i talk normal when i should say things different.
What do?

Jesus fucking Christ, this one makes it crystal clear what you're getting. That fucking skin.

Lel. I have thought about super basic bullshit like that. You just flow after that, or keep it pretty scripted?

I'm fairly convinced that someone could write up an AI that says exactly what these women want to hear and you could have at least 75% success rate. They are literally memes.

I'm a no-value male but I've spent a lot of work optimizing my profile to fool women into thinking the opposite
You can do it with enough work!

Have you ever fucked a far chick before? It's disgusting. They smell weird. They have sweaty crevasses. I will never do it again. No matter how desperate.

I found her FB so I know pretty much how obese she is but I'd still hit because I'm desperate enough to ask fucking Jow Forums for lines

I purposely chose the worst photo to demonstrate my point
I just want to fuck a fat bitch with fat saggy tits

> doesn't bump LiL PEEP

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>Mother of two fur babies!!!

I would need to use someone else's pictures for that to be the case. I'm hideous

I'm so glad I have never tried online dating because the shit you guys post is fucking miserable.

i'm not going to lie and say looks don't matter
they absolutely do
but you can change your appearance to look more attractive by slimming down and lifting weights
Proper hygiene for the clear skin
Well-fitting clothes that accentuate your frame
Proper haircut (you will have to spend SOME money for this)
Finally find a friend to DSLR photography of you

Once you go through these steps you can finally play the Tinder game which is to hope you're good enough. It's rough time but there are steps you can take to improve yourself.
Just ask yourself what are you willing to sacrifice for a low-probability shot at some pussy?

She'd be cuter if she lost some weight yeah but remember where you are. I'd also be desperate

You do not. It is a fucking shame user. Take it from a guy who took stacy's (((virginity))) in HS but got heartbroken & desperate enough to try fat bitches afterwards.

Maybe it's different if you've never had stay but just let me break it down for you.

>comically big and brown/black faded pussy
>can't eat without drowning in loose lips and their fat-roll stench
>don't even think about eating ass
>can't ride for shit
>or they'll just fucking crush you
>physically impossible to throw her around like the whore she is
>takes masturbation to achieve boner unless you're literally incel 4 lyfe
>cannot caress their stomach/back/tits/face without losing boner
>pussy will never be tight

Enjoy your duffle bag of sweaty gym socks OP

Forgot the most important point

>her hands and feet will be fucking repulsive
>no supple digits to be found
>sausages on all appendages

I feel your story is a sincere warning but like all heroes I must face this beast for myself
Now how shall I arm myself to woo this whale?

She'll take your dick in a heartbeat no matter your game.

Seriously though, have a good picture of stacy in your head or you'll lose the boner. Unless you genuinely get hard from fat chicks.

Same case
> around 6 foot 5
> good looking
> rich ( my fucking gold chains and watch is shown in every photos)
> pic of me holding a lion
Got no match

>She'll take your dick in a heartbeat no matter your game
you say that but I know i'll find a way to sabotage myself
what should I avoid when initially messaging her

I am determined to smash regardless of how bad she looks naked

I really don't have any advice, other than to rest assured that you almost always have the advantage with bitches like this, and they're well aware of it. There is no excuse to not be confident in your situation.
Every fat one I've had has been an easy catch. As long as your lines aren't Pat Bateman tier, they'll play along even if you have the wit of a brick.

>She wants you this time user, not the other way around

This was after maybe 4 or 5 messages of chit chat bull shitting. I think I can work with this. Should I just ask for her snap and go from there?

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Whoa dude
I never thought about it like that

I'm so conditioned to believe that these girls have a million other men hounding them for sex that I honestly never even send a single message

I think I'll start concerning myself with what kind of condom to wear rather than what line to drop this slampig

Sorry i keep doubleposting, ive had a bit to drink.
Honestly, my biggest piece of advice; be prepared to lose some self esteem. You'll likely end up pitying her before the night ends, you'll be the whore who gave out a pity fuck to something repulsive.

Sorry for the harsh words user, I really do care about you because like I said I've been there before

I have 3 basic openers
>comment on her bio
>self deprecating joke
>"So, you come here often?"
sounds dumb, but I've scored two hookups with the last line, and a couple dates from the jokes.
Basically, if they want to sleep with you they'll respond to almost anything. Just try to be funny and avoid generic shit like "hey" or "what's up". Play off their response for a couple messages, and ask them out quickly.

Yeah tired of this dumb fucking app. All these dumb girls who are ugly as fuck saying no hookups on a hookup app. One fatty has the audacity to post tons of pics of her with half her tits falling out but then freaks out on me for using a pickup line involving a womens boobs.

Not to mention they are all so fucking boring, ohhhh muh fur babies, muh swipe right for your dog, muh . And of course they are all judgmental as fuck even if they are ugly as hell. One girl literally unmatched me because I casually mentioned I enjoyed Gundam after she asked me.

hey man I really appreciate your no-bullshit approach
this has gone a long way to psych me up and I'm going to use the confidence on this bitch and the next

if nothing comes of it, I won't be crushed
that was my fear; that even a fatty would reject me
but now I have the courage to try anyways
cheers

Ah, based user. Let us take a moment to revel in our mutual hatred.
>on a dating site to find people with fucking dogs. Go to the local park, fat bitch
>you can tell a whale by their lack of honesty. No full body pics. Face/tits/heavily shooped ass shots only.
>lazy bitch couldn't write a bio. Deadass just "no hookups"
>those who won't even unmatch & just ghost you. So she fucking swiped me while AFK or on a tinder break? Why not fucking unmatch & be done.

>gold chains
Nigga thats your problem right there. Unless youre timetraveling turtleneck Rock from the 80's, you shouldnt be rockin goldchains.

>looking for the jim to my pam :)
>quote the office so i know its real
>insert any random office quote
why the fucking obsession with this show

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Really glad I could raise your confidence, especially if it gets you any closer to climbing Mt.Stacy. No reason to let a hambeast intimidate you, just think how you'd feel and react in the other person's shoes. I will still be praying for your eternal soul as you brave the deep.

remember once you get a stacy she still has shortcomings that tempt her into unspeakable things. Albeit much more complicated to take advantage of, Stacy still has those demons like all the rest of us.

they're normies, user
simple-minded humor for simple-minded people

>Stacy still has those demons like all the rest of us
Amen to that brother
Here's to the expedition into unknown territory
May my aim be true and replies swift

pic related is my only match for the month

what should i say

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