Just fapped and It's pretty windy so I decided to throw my cum tissues out of my window and they landed in the bush...

Just fapped and It's pretty windy so I decided to throw my cum tissues out of my window and they landed in the bush right outside my window. 3:52AM parents are gonna be up in 2:30 hours and walk the dogs and I can't sneak out because the dogs are gonna bark.
wat do

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Order a small amount of food from a delivery app like Postmates and message the driver that they can keep the food, all they have to do is throw away the tissues in the bushes for you and you'll give them a good tip. Following through with the last part is optional.

Create a rope by tying clothes together , then fix together a sort of spade/container and put it on the end. Lower the "rope" and try to scoop the cum tissues into the container.

jump the window and get those tissues, quietly. If the dogs bark, just move faster, if your parents arrive, pretend your sonambulous (remember to whisper gibberish fast then slowly, naked is a plus). Then, say something really weird like: "I have to take this damn fork or the water will run out!" and go back to bed. Then sit there, go to the kitchen and sleep in the couch. When you wake up pretend that nothing happened, ask your parents why you woke up in the couch, now you have the high ground, you make the questions, they answer.

just go who cares if the dogs bark

Does it really matter if the dogs bark? You think that is going to wake them up? Why are you confined to your room anyway.. go out there and collect them and if confronted say you were going for a walk.

When your parents wake up say you had a bad sleep and want to take the dogs for a walk. Once on a walk with the dogs, grab the tissues, problem solved.

I'm assuming they will see these bushes when they walk the dogs.
you should just offer to walk the dogs yourself

Just leave 10 minutes before you parents to fetch the tissue, then go for a jog. Once you come back if you parents ask, just tell them you felt like going on a jog.

>right outside my window.
So reach out the window and grab them you fucking tard

>and it's pretty windy so I decided to throw my cum tissues out of my window
and water puts out grease fires
you did the right thing, genius

Dude I put my cum tissue in my trashcan and my mom empties it and sees all the masturbation I've done for the entire week or something like that. Who cares.

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Who cares dude? It is just jizz tissues. Nothing wrong with a few jizz tissues in your bush.

They dont fucking care, are they on a witchhunt for your dick juice op?

For a walk? At 4AM? For the first time in your life?

Well, if you would just eat your cum like i have been doing since i was able to shoot cum, you wouldn't have this problem. The amount of anons who think eating thier own cum is disgusting makes me sick. You guys are that scared to eat cum? Pathetic.

fuck off tripcunt, not all of us like the taste.

Whatever. You continue to wipe paper on your dicks and make a mess with a bunch of crusty and smelly tissues in a trash bin while i get to eat my creamy loads

its called recycling. its good for you.

Just say you didnt fucking do it user. Quit overreacting to stupid shit and learn your lesson.

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Throw a bunch of other tissues out the window and the box,so it looks like some person threw a box of tissues at you guys. Or other trash too

>go outside
>pick up tissues
>dogs going bark wild
>wake all the normies and wagecucks up early af
>parents ask wtf is going on
>tell them you blew a huge load into some tissues and threw em outside and had to retrieve them
>ignore their disgust and rage
>take your dog's for a walk instead
>let them shit on stacie's lawn

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Holy fug lmfao

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Son, this doesn't matter at all. Just say you know nothing about it or blame the wind and say it isn't yours.

Your dad uses mom's bush as a jizz rag
What's the difference