/SIG/ - Self Improvement General

>tfw you grow up to be exactly the kind of person you looked down on when you were younger

Yes, learn to love, respect, appreciate, and honor the world around you, the people around you (even strangers), and yourself, or you are NGMI.

Give me your stats bro, what you do day to day, and your daily/weekly approximate diet, and I can try and help you.

Then change, that's what this general is for. Tell us your tale, brother.

Read the book 'how to read a book by Adler' will explain how to really digest books

I fell for 1 meal per day meme.

> lost 4 kg in 10 days

d fak ?

And it is so fucking easy, I eat like fucking animal at 1 PM and that is it. Why is it so easy ?

Been into self improvement for a few months now

-Started lifting
-Quit computer games (I still play the Xbox with my gf occasionally, but I used to be seriously addicted to Dota 2 to the point where I did basically nothing else)
-bought books about stuff that I wish to learn more about (history, philosophy etc)

My problem is, I feel like I've got the right ideas, but just struggle implimenting them?? For example I know I should be meditating every day, reading/learning wherever possible, controlling my anger more (real issue for me at times) but I just can't seem to find the discipline. Any advice bros? I just wanna be monkmode disciplined but shit ain't easy

Any advice kn

*Any advice is appreciated

Fuck this phone lul

My man Alan Watts knows what's up in the realm of discipline:

youtube.com/watch?v=bpZzFEbKEes
youtube.com/watch?v=vr671bDUqkQ
youtube.com/watch?v=tnV1a7fgNOc

Also, nice dubble dubs.

Oshit dubbledubs, its my lucky day
Many thanks my dude

Just came here to say thanks to everyone on Jow Forums and this general. You guys probably saved my life.

6 months ago I was living with my gf of three years and everything was going amazing. We just spent an entire summer living together and spent every minute together. Walks by the lake, sex in the kitchen, just normal couple things. She'd even look me in the eye and say stuff like "I wish we could just merge into one person". A few weeks later, she dissappears after "having dinner" with one of her female friends, and the only thing she messages me the next day at 7 am was "Sorry...". Turns out she fucked a guy from her class that I already had huge suspicions about and commonly had nightmares about her cheating on me with him.

I really loved this girl to death so I was completely destroyed. I still had to live with her for two more months before my next place was ready, and this was a fucking living hell. Every day it was a struggle to get up, but you anons always told me "Don't worry brother it will all get better with time, I promise", and while I didn't believe you then I stuck to those words and put my nose to the grindstone. Got back into going to the gym 6 days a week, started reading again, learning some programming skills, and even managed to get a new gf about a month ago. She's ten times as hot and ten times as amazing.

Thanks boys, you kept me going and to anyone struggling out there with something similar, it really does just take time. Get back to work and keep busy, all will be well. We're all gonna make it.

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Good riddance

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Fit Recipes, not pro quality but most look tasty
imgur.com/a/5nbmA

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This might be controversial but there's something i've been doing lately that's a hit with women.

Take on the persona of a black guy, I don't have the audacity to do it all the time, but 20% of the time I take the mindset of a pimp and I swear to you it gets them mega wet.

So I'd say stuff like "sheeeeit look at those fat titties" just out of nowhere in a negro like way, or even "get the fuck outta here" then slap her on the ass and walk away. I'm still experimenting, been watching a lot of Patrice oneal and its rubbing off on me

very bad, but very common.

eventually you should start enjoying what you are doing and spite will stop being a factor.

This, girls just want a dude they can have fun with and hang loose, not some uptight dickwad with a stick up his ass.

Have your priorities and goals in line and in mind, but be chill and carefree with the ladies, do what you want, and they'll open up and do what they want with you. Which, if they dig you means some bedroom action.

Stay frosty amigos.

I'm horrified by the prospect of asking a girl out. I'll hype myself up and tell myself that today is the day and this hour is the hour and this moment is the moment and then have that moment slip by. Even though I'm objectively good-looking and I'm in a major where I should be getting pussy by the bucketful. I'm charismatic too but I just get paralyzed when it actually comes to making a move. I like to think that I'm good at reading people, but always in the back of my head is, "She doesn't like you in that way. She's not flirting. She's just being nice. She's your friend".

I'm even more horrified by the idea of a girl cheating on me. I'm 95% sure she's interested in me-- she's asked me personal stuff, she let me sip from her drink once, she has rested her head on my shoulder, but I just see red flags. First of all, she has tattoos (is that a red flag?) She seems pretty liberal (was a vegan at one point), and I think she's "well-traveled" if you know what I mean. But she's also really sweet and cool and interesting. I don't even know why I'm saying all this stuff because I doubt I'd ever muster the strength to ask her out even if there were no red flags.

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>you're good looking
>good major
>charismatic

she wants the dick, bro. fuck her if anything to get your confidence up.

>tattoos
>veganism
>casual sex

Those aren't red flags you retard, they're just things that bitter insecure autists on Jow Forums like to make fun of because it gives them something to feel superior about

i mean. they would be red flags if user was looking for a long-term relationship, but he doesnt seem ready for that just yet.

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Dunno about a good major, just one with tons of girls. I'm in nursing and there are only like 5 or 6 other guys in my class. 1 of them is definitely gay and the other I'm 50/50 on. I fear that the girls might think I'm gay, but as far as I know I've done nothing to give off this vibe.

How do you charmingly ask a girl to pay for her own shit? Went on a date with this girl and I'm sick of paying out the ass for these hoes.

Bought my shit and told the waiter to seperate the bill for her. She got in a huff and in the end it was a waste of time.

well there is a chance she might think you are gay. even more reason to go for it, before she's sure.

I feel you man. Just like you I overthink somethings but you need to throw yourself in the situation otherwise not a damn thing will happen. If your paralyzed by the relationship aspect train yourself to not expect a relationship. Nothing wrong with just getting some pussy.

>self improvement general
>only improving yourself for girls
never change, Jow Forums

it's almost as if procreation is a core goal of the species

you say "drinks on you, yeah?"

jesus what a rollercoaster this post was for me

I do it for strength and discipline but I want a wifey too.

Joke's on you, I'm improving for Hitler

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This

Take the stick out of your ass Jow Forums and hit yourself over the head with it a couple of times

>get in a relationship
>gain 100 lbs in 4 years
>ex breaks up with me
>now i've lost 30 lbs

70 more to go, lads

>let's ignore everything this woman has done in her past and get into a serious relationship with her

I'll pass. I do hope he fucks her, though.

>everyone will tell you it's a meme but CBT if anxiety is a problem

not him but I wanna look into this. any good books that I can find for free on a e-reader format?

CBT is more of a guided thing and less of a do it yourself thing so can't really make any recomendations but in the UK at least you can get CBT pretty easily

are you idiotic?
They are red flags for a long-term relationship.
If he only wants sex then it doesn't matter.

CBT is p much therapy only, but I also think therapy is kinda scammy and the same results can be accomplished so long as you're motivated enough to make an effort on your own. How to Win Friends and Influence People is a book full of obvious information, but also vitally important information with regards to interacting with others. You probably know most of the tips in the book, but you probably need to be reminded of them too, so it's worth reading. As much as everybody hates him, Jordan Peterson is pretty good at giving life advice and I've found 12 Rules for Life useful. Meditations by Marcus Aurelius is essential take-responsibility-for-your-life-core.

That's like buying a used car that has 300k miles on it and has been in accidents that gave it major frame damage though. Maybe it's good for a ride around every once in a while, but it is definitely not a reliable car that you can depend on as a daily driver if you get what I mean.

Hey lads. I’m an absolute beta bitch amd ive fucked up a lot in life and wasted basically every opportunity ive been given. I feel like its too late for me to make friends and live a good life, will it be possible for me to raise an aloha chad son though? I feel like raising a good son is my purpose and will allow me to redeem all my fuckups

>Hey lads. I’m an absolute beta bitch amd ive fucked up a lot in life and wasted basically every opportunity ive been given.
> I feel like its too late for me to make friends and live a good life, will it be possible for me to raise an aloha chad son though?
How will you do that if you wasted basically every opportunity in your life?

You're making a grave mistake. This is basically the thought process that white trash go through when they decide not to abort their kids. If you can't sort yourself out, how the fuck are you going to raise kids who will do anything meaningful?

Im changing my ways, ive lost 100 lbs (from 6’1 290 to 190), started lifting hard, and pulled my engineering gpa up from a 1.9 to a 3.2. Im done wasting opportunities

>nofap day9
Still mood swings but in a much better place now
Life has a “glow”, interacting with other people is pleasant
Teaching myself to draw, just picked up a pen and started copying artworks. Not any good but enjoying the challenge.
Still reading Jow Forums for Luls but spending a lot less time online, about halfway through a biography of Van Gogh
Kettlebell workouts and swimming with occasional rest days
Feeling good brehs

This. And this is why I don't think I should have kids; I feel like I'd be a shit dad

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Read the post below yours, im really trying hard to unfuck my shit, but its hard to change your personality. Thatd being said, ive come a long way

Going through a split with the first gf that I've ever shared a home and bills with. First couple of days, existential crisis, depression, vidya games till no end, just got out of a job.

This is day 4 and I'm feeling a little better getting out of my comfort zone with my lifts, Job prospect called me back with a somewhat lower position, no problemo I can work my way up again and rebuild. And I'm probably going to pickup a bass guitar and learn the shit out of it for kicks and giggles.

We're all going to make it brah.

Why are you even thinking about having kids when you're still in school? And you're overreacting; you haven't even had time to fuck your shit up yet.

I dont plan on having them for 5+ years, I just know its my long term goal. And maybe I haven’t really fucked up, I guess I just feel shitty that I grew up a friendless loser who wasted his time on the computer and now it feels too late to make friends because im about to graduate

check out 'feeling good: the new mood therapy'

I'm estranged from my family due to. being in a shitty situation, I've had my own place for four months now and a decent job, started back college in January. My only issue is the pain of loneliness here and there, I've tried to fill the void by making friends but none stick because of my social awkwardness + being gay. What do I do to become more charismatic and attract authentic friends?

Holy shit man I'm going through the same thing. We're broken up now but currently living under the same roof while she gets her stuff organized and leaves. This is some crazy stuff man. I hope it'll get better

Be less gay.

bought a shitload of books boys we're all gmi

I'm gay but I don't sound or act it at all though.

Femanon here
Whatever you do, warn her before going out. Is a pain when someone ask you if you want to have dinner and is not clear if they're inviting you or not
Maybe "babe, we're spliting bills ok?"
If anything you ask her is she believes in gender equality kek
If that eventually becomes a problem instead of going out cook dinner together and stuff

Brother, it was the worst two months of my life. She would storm into my room and yell shit like:
"Thank fucking god I cheated on you, you're so short I can't even fucking hug you properly"
"You never even made me cum properly"
"I hope you never recover from this and all your girlfriends cheat on you, you piece of shit"

And then the next day:
"Ohh my god user I'm so sorry for what I did can you please come back?"
"I love you so much please come back, you were my life"
"Can we at least have sex again? It was the best sex of my life I need to have you again"

I did the same thing every time, put my headphones on and kept studying. Crazy fuckin cunt, called me 65 times in a night while I was railing a Tinder thot. Told the Tinder thot the story, she laughed, I laughed, and we had sex again. Good times.

It will get better brother, I can guarantee. I had nightmares about her leaving me for the guy she fucked for years. I would see her messaging him about school stuff at first, then the last month or so she would be asking personal stuff and even asking him to come to an open house with her in another city. Shit was getting shady, but I was way too busy trying to graduate to give a shit. It was for the better that's for sure. Keep grinding in school, work, the gym, and make sure you aren't staying stagnant. Use the anger as motivation, but remember to slowly replace the anger with discipline. I had the best workouts of my life listening to Mastodon and indulging in my feelings. I just immersed my mind into the night that everythign happened and delved right into the pain rather than away from it. Give yourself an hour every day to be a whiny, salty bitch and cry. Cry and bitch as much as you want for this hour, but after it's done you are done being a bitch for the rest of the day. Godspeed, truly if I made it through anyone can.

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People are redeemable, I'm shocked you don't know this yet. You can fix up the gar and "replace the parts" so to speak, you just need to use love and affection while building her back up.

Think about what I said.

Feeling Good by David D. Burns, M.D.

I was in outpatient therapy for some months because of longstanding issues. Some of the anecdotes are a little out there, but you will identify with certain cognitive distortions more than others. As long as you do the exercises, are honest with yourself, and really commit to doing better by yourself, it is definitely worth it.

Thank you brother. I screen capped this and will hold it to heart. Needed this

Good luck as well user

I know that feel, I have screencaps of entire threads where anons sent me their encouragements. Still look at them from time to time when I'm feeling a little shitty and it never fails to pick me back up.

Moved to a new town about 4 months ago after having a major breakdown last year. Want to try to work on myself before I make the effort to make friends, but don't really know what to focus on. Already started working out and ready a lot of self-help and philosophy books. Any advice?

Do you have any hobbies, user? I play the piano, and it's very fulfilling and gives me a sense of purpose. You can meet people with the same hobbies by joining a club or taking some classes at a community college. For the piano example, I know I can go to an open mic night somewhere and meet some fellow musicians and like-minded people.

If you're that far into turning things around then just stay the course and you will actually reach the position where you can realistically raise high functioning children.

>This is basically the thought process that white trash go through when they decide not to abort their kids
That has more to do with the monthly food stamps amount.

Reading is good, but there's no substitute for actually working on things. Come up with some goals and take the first steps in at least two areas by the end of the week.

Mein Kamerad.

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I started playing 40k in my old city and like painting my army. The issue is the game store here shut down about a month after I got here. Plus, honestly with everything that happened last year, I just want to focus on myself for awhile before I really go out and try to make friends.

I don't really have any short term goals atm. Most things I'm working on are for 5-10+ years for now.

>made gains lifting
>made uni gains by studying
>wondering how to make social gains

Socialize you idiot

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Figure out realistic milestone goals that fit within the 5-10 years goals. Those milestones are your short terms.

How is looking at current body threads gonna help with anxiety?

May has been fucking amazing for me so far.

> I've been off soda/redbull/juicydrinks since 2/5/2018 and I'm headache free and finally have a more constant heartbeat again!

> Started running again and I've noticed that I can controle my breathing much better so I've aced several 5KM runs without any problem

> Started eating more in order to gain weight and after three weeks I already feel much better

> Stopped hitting the snooze button and actually eat breakfast in the morning, this got to be the best decision I made so far because my energy levels during the day have been so much better!

> I'm learning to stay organized, still difficult and I fail a lot in my planning but my mind is more at rest then before so I see some improvement!

> Started reading a book about improving myself ( getting things done )

> Stepped up from 1 to 2 pieces a fruit a day!

> Yesterday I finally caved in and committed to quit my fucked up porn routine.

My self-confidence is at an all time high now, I know the next two weeks are going to be though porn-wise (quitting red-bull was the toughest thing I did untill now)
But I keep my eyes on the reward and I made a before picture to look back on, something I never want to be again!

LETS FUCKING DO THIS!

Also for the Murricans I mean 5/2/2018 greetings the rest of the world.

Such storys always reminds me of my journey when I started.

Best decision of my life.
Everyone telling you otherwise that any form of self improvement is useless, is just a lazy piece of shit that wants to drag you down to his low level life.

>ust a lazy piece of shit that wants to drag you down to his low level life.

Yeah the one thing that pushed me to change my life is being fed up with people telling me what I can and can't do.

About to leave for a summer internship. I'll be responsible for cooking my own meals. That means its time to quit being a fat fuck.
No idea how to cook "healthy" for myself especially in a place where I'll be living on the 7th floor and the kitchen/fridge is on the 1st. According to that calorie-counting thing from "Scooby's workshop", an acceptable meal for my current state is ~7oz of chicken w/ veggies, lots of rice, and flaxseed oil. Amateur question: how does adding seasoning (IE spices, sesame seeds, that type of shit) affect calorie count/nutrition? If I wanted to make a marinate/use a storebought brand like Goya, would I be caloric-ally screwing myself over?

Spices and herbs not at all. Use liberally.
Just bear in mind how much oil you're using and don't go crazy with ready made 'dressings' without checking what's in them

>Everyone telling you otherwise that any form of self improvement is useless, is just a lazy piece of shit that wants to drag you down to his low level life.
This. Worst of all is when you tell them they are lazy pieces of shit that would be happier if they invested some time in at least basic things, they get angry at you.
I lost some friends not long ago because I could not stand watching them sink into rabbit hole. Every time I offered them some help or tried to motivate them, they blatantly took it as an insult. So if they want to fail, they can do it without me.

Yeah, I plan on only buying vegetable and flaxeed oil and never exceeding a tablespoon.

Guess I should have typed and finished my fucking thought but I'm up too late and acting like a retard.
Any suggestions for how to make grilled chicken better/more flavorful without increasing caloric content too much?

You can do it.

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You will do it.

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thanks user

Can you delete this image, thanks
Can you tell me how to get /vargmode/

1. oil + salt + pepper + rosemary
or
2. oil + salt + paprika + garlic

But honestly I wouldn't fall into the trap of thinking that eating clean means you can only have grilled chicken every day. I like to have things like Chilli where you can make loads in one go as long as the beef mince isn't stupidly high fat content

I will have nothing other than a saucepan and a (admittedly kinda deep) skillet for a couple months, given that its gonna be a communal fridge and shit, not liking the odds

cognitive behavioral therapy, reprograms the brains initial reaction to things

Two things (can be applied to tons of different social interactions)

Crab in a bucket mentaly
> Crab mentality or crabs in a bucket (also barrel, basket or pot), is a way of thinking best described by the phrase "if I can't have it, neither can you".
>The metaphor refers to a bucket of live crabs, some of which could easily escape,but other crabs pull them back down to prevent any from getting out, ensuring the group's collective demise.

Cognitive dissonance
> Sometimes people hold a core belief that is very strong. When they are presented with evidence that works against that belief, the new evidence cannot be accepted.
>It would create a feeling that is extremely uncomfortable, called cognitive dissonance.
>And because it is so important to protect the core belief, they will rationalize, ignore and even deny anything that doesn't fit in with the core belief.

awalt

go to Jow Forumstheredpill and start going through the sidebar

women cannot love, it is biologically and evidentially proven. its a fucking hard red pill to swallow but the sooner you understand, the sooner you can slay pussy without having to go through the ultimately pointless boohoo breakup process

back to that shithole with you incel fucking faggot. never come back

its the complete opposite of incel you reactionary ape

its Jow Forums without shitposting or jew shilling

>women cannot love, it is biologically and evidentially proven.

t. incel

If you honestly think that you need to reassess your life.