I need someone to talk to on here. At least reply to my thread so I don't feel so alone. Can you guys talk to me about your depression and how you cope with it? Also, what are your worst physical symptoms?
I have had depression since I was a young teen. I'm 26 now and it's only gotten worse. I feel no joy and a lot of fatigue. I feel like my body and mind is falling apart and it's sorta freaking me out how I never feel relief or happiness. I am admitting for the first time online that I am suicidal. I want to not exist to stop suffering.
Thank you for reading if you did...
I need someone to talk to on here. At least reply to my thread so I don't feel so alone...
Grayson Moore
Nathaniel Evans
Hey user.
Depression is really a pain in the ass, I know that feel sadly.
Basically to get out of there you need someone to help you, but you gotta be in the right mental state to allow that.
What I'm trying to say is that - unluckily - you can't do it all alone.
I was lucky to go to therapy for years and now I feel better but it's not really easy.
What do you think? Would you see a therapist?
Ian Wright
I agree with you on needing to be in the right mental state? I feel like nothing and no one can help me. It's a scary thought. I've tried several therapists but never felt like they were helping me and the longest I saw a therapist was 5 times total. I've tried an ssri called escitalapram. Lexapro generic. It never did anything.
Do I keep trying more drugs? I don't want to feel like this anymore user. I'm miserable.
Jack Bell
Eh, the hard part is trusting someone else.
And it's also hard to find the right therapist for you desu.
Medicines can help but they are useless if there's not a counseling therapy behind them.
Wyatt Young
I've never done both at the same time. God damn it sounds so daunting trying to trust a new drug and a new therapist again. I wish there was assisted suicide. Humans shouldn't feel this way all the time. Nothing in my life is even terrible. It's just extremely repetitive and boring and I never experience human touch. But these are the symptoms of depression not the cause.
Evan Smith
Man it's hard, but you gotta do it if you wanna do something to feel better.
Nicholas Ross
My problem is I feel like I need therapy and I should visit some psychologist, but I don't want to bother anyone with my problems, even if it's their job. It just keeps bottling up if you have no one to talk to.
Jeremiah Gray
Been suicidal since I was like 6 because of abusive parents both mentally and physically, tried to jump of my balcony when I was like 8 or 9, use to slash myself because I felt deserve the pain, always hated attention so nobody really knew. Growing up I've used and been way to heavy into a ton of different drugs. Drugs are actually what helped me be social and make friends, things started to seem better, had a few girlfriends, and then my last girlfriend of almost 4 years died, it broke me more than I ever have been, I've got a new rock bottom now. Also I was a fucked up kid and watched porn really young, got into my mom's underwear and started crisscrossing on ocassion, I stopped when I started getting girls, but then when my would be wife died I started doing allot of drugs again and isolation and porn and drugs combined I started doing the sissy thing again, now I'm turning 27 and I'm off drugs but now I've got a broken asshole and can't hold my farts in, I'm worse than before again. I actually can't get another girl ever again cuz who would fuck a guy whose ass leaks, I use to get rim jobs now wtf am i... I regret that depraved shit so bad, it was all because of my self hatred I destroyed myself...
My advice, if I can give any, is love yourself and try to be better, if u have to lie to yourself than lie, say you love yourself and you love life and smile at the mirror, because those lies will become thruths..
Shit could always be worse, just get through the day and try to connect with people... iduno... I'm gonna an hero soon... I love you all
Henry Howard
>Can you guys talk to me about your depression and how you cope with it?
i don't find joy in anything, i'm constantly stressed and insecure, and i cope with it by staying high from basically the moment i wake up until i fall asleep.
>Also, what are your worst physical symptoms?
lack of appetite has me weighing 125 lbs at 6 feet tall, my hair is falling out and my joints (especially knees) always hurt. also don't sleep well if you count that as a physical symptom.
James Hughes
OP here. I read everything and I appreciate your advice. Sorry you have had such a rough life but at least you had love for 4 years straight. I'd kill for that.
Also I don't feel like my life is terrible but im depressed and if I wasn't my life would feel great...
Pls don't kill yourself.
Adam James
fuck therapists and talks
Benzos is what will help you my friend.
Gavin Nguyen
I had depression as a teenager, but I distanced myself from it. You know, there's the self which observes the world, and the self which observes the self. I was the self watching myself. In other words, I guess I dissociated, without any of the bad / crazy stuff that happens with clinical dissociation. I'm giving you that as a background for the next part.
Then, I got a gf and things seemed to go well enough. It never felt right to me, but whatever, this is what I thought I wanted so I went with it.
...By that I mean the me of the past wanted it, the me at that time was just going along with it because everyone else does, and I thought if I could make my life one that the young me wanted... I don't know. Hard to put it into words. Five years or so later gf broke up with me, moved away. It hurt at the time but I've since come to learn that the pain was "loss", not actually missing her. But I'm getting ahead of myself. A week or so after she left, she sent me a text saying she missed her period. You can guess where this is going.
Cutting out a lot of middle stuff, it ends with me pushing her to get an abortion. I freaked out, made a bad choice. No excuses. I am now scared of getting close to anyone for obvious (and not so obvious) reasons. Today was father's day. Texted my father something positive, while omitting the obvious "happy father's day" phrase. He asked me if there was something else I wanted to say, and I didn't respond. I can't explain to him the pain without bringing him into it. I'd rather him think me a selfish person. He has other children to make merry with.
That was all one big ramble, but here's where it all becomes relevant to you, user.
You didn't do anything wrong. Depression is considered a mental illness, yeah? When someone catches a cold do you blame them for getting sick? Of course not.
Humans need physical activity, social activity, and biological activity. Exercise, social stuffs, good diet, sunshine. 1/2
Andrew Campbell
I plan on commiting suicide when I'm 30. Currently 24. I don't have any physical symptoms besides laziness tho i just can't take college seriously and can't get any decent job. My problem is more related to being a worthless autistic pos than anything.
Probably won't be moving out my parents house before that but I'm only child and my mother don't seem to care.
Easton Reyes
Ya honestly I appreciate the love and good times that I did have so much, I think about how at one point I thought none of that was possible for me but it did happen and I cherish those memories. Either way, we're not alone op, life is crazy, just try to enjoy as much as you can
Jason Taylor
It is literally their job. By talking to them, you either 1. let them help you which rewards the more altruistic ones and/or 2. rewards them financially by letting them do their jobs.
If you need therapy, and recognize it, then there is literally no reason to not go save for being unable to for whatever reason. If people who didn't need to go went, how would they earn their living, put food on their table, etc?
I would go so far as to say that given the way our society is set up, you choosing to NOT go is in fact more selfish of you.
Please don't kill yourself. There is more to life then rimjobs. I don't know how much your ass actually leaks, but everyone wears underwear, you know. You just may want thicker ones. People don't get grossed out from runny noses.
Anorexia has those symptoms, user. When I fast, I have difficulty falling asleep as well.
Try to eat very caloric dense foods for a while to gain weight, like pastry. Psychosomatic link. The mind body connection. Unhealthy body leads to unhealthy mind. Which brings me to part two of the post I started to the other user.
There's a lot of "at home" remedies for depression that may be attempted. Light therapy (you need a certain amount of both sun and light) for instance. Inside light is around 500 lumens, while outside light is around 10 000. If you don't get enough outside light (levels, so a light machine will work as well), then depression is often a result. In the northern countries it's known as seasonal affective disorder. It's also what causes poor eyesight, coincidentally enough. Lack of light, vitamin deficiencies, stress, there are a ton of things that many people don't think of that cause their depression and/or makes it get worse.
Failing all those though, then yes, [therapy] or [medication AND therapy] is what you need. Sometimes your brain just is chemically disordered, sometimes cognitive behavioral therapy is what you need.
Caleb Reyes
OP here. Family came over. Pls keep talking and keep thread alive. I will ready everything and try to reply.
Thomas Barnes
last exam tomorrow (desu its like 3 am here, so it will begin in like 9 hours). like the last i will ever take probably in my life. last course during my masters that i need to pass.
and i can t get myself to study for it. just cant. there are so many distracting impulses poppping in the back of my head, i just cant focus. at the very end im just sitting like.
>i just cant
>i dont give a shit
>i want to be somewhere else
i am fed up with loneliness, with having difficult times connecting to others, with wasting my youth, with fucking up every job interview, with perspective of ending up in some shitty job. I am aware of my worth, at my best I can be SOMEONE. but usually my fragile psyche fuck me up. I am fed up with myself being my worst enemy. with myself impairing my every attempt.
I have been trying to get better attitude, i have been actively changing my life. at some point i believed everything can be fine, that i can get better, that i will reclaim my prime. but it wont happen. despite my attempts it will probably stay the way it has always been. i suffer.
Thomas Butler
user, maybe you don't actually want to do whatever you're doing your master's for.
Happened to me.
Went to school for X, realized I actually wanted to do Y.
It just so happened Y was nothing.
Carter Russell
no, i enjoy my masters actually, its the other parts of my life that are falling apart and taking my motivation to deal with important matters with them.
its so difficult to study when you find yourself in existance void at least once or twice a week.
Zachary Phillips
Rip. You need to either focus everything else out, perhaps try some adderal unironically, or perhaps just... i dunno to be honest. I really never developed an answer myself so anything I pass along secondhand will sound hollow at best. Hope your test goes well.
James White
Sounds like too much serotonin
Jose Adams
I am super alone, does anyone know any good things to do to pass time? Ive played video games and watched netflix enough that im so bored of everything and i just sit and rot and wait until its late enough to sleep then go to bed then repeat the next day and i feel sedated and i need something to do
Justin Powell
What major?
masterblocks
Eli Jones
Get some adderall or some meth if ur really depsperate for focus
Hudson Collins
Try to get as much sleep as you can, OP.
It's the least I can say.
1. You aren't conscious, don't have to worry or be aware of life.
2. Dreaming.
Whenever I don't like something, I go to bed and sleep or pay attention to something else.
I guess it's a form of escapism, not sure if it would help you though.
Hope you get better.