So I am on vacation with some family right now and will be in their timeshare with them for the next week... Now, since there are a lot of us, they all get their own bedrooms (they have kids and what not) and I have to sleep in the living room. Let me tell you why this is a bad thing.
I haven't jacked off in over 3 days anons... vacation time with the family has not allotted me the proper time to fap... All of the rooms are taken, and my fucking uncle is a god damn sleepless robot and just does his work from his laptop all fucking night so he'll be awake in the living room with me, so sneaking to the bathroom to go pound off will be too suspicious, and I will be with them basically all day, everyday. Shower time is limited because my Aunt is a control freak, and we are basically going to be in each other's presence until I go back home.
Anons, what do I do? I can't jerk off and I come on to this fucking site and am triggered by all of the porn... seriously, I think my cock is going to explode. wat do?
just go to the bathroom anytime during the day and turn the fan on like youre taking a shit. just turn on some porn on your phone and jerk off. youre living in a time when your phone lets you watch any video you want you faggot you have it so easy
Austin Anderson
>walk outside >find gas station/place like that/anywhere etc. >go in bathroom >lock door >jackk tf off >wash ur hands, faggot >leave
Ryder Hill
I can't jerk off with people talking in the background, it's too weird. Plus they always try to knock on the door to tell me to "hurry up, user!" when I take a shit or shower. it's really annoying. they'll literally shut off the water on my when I am showering if I do it too long and will just lurch by the door when I am shitting. plus, the lock is broken on the bathroom door, so if they walk in or if the door just get grazed by their knock, I am fucking busted.
Luis Miller
sounds really unrealistic but if its true i feel bad for you man. i guess what said could work just go to take a shit next time you guys go out to eat or something. its a public place so it might be harder but if youre desperate it might have to do
Ryder Jones
I would if my Aunt wasn't a control freak about where I go. I am a grown ass 22 year old and she still controls where I go when we are on vacation. Last year she didn't even let me take an uber to go grab some beer because "we can get beer some other time." so going to the gas station without her freaking on me is not happening. I don't know what to do.
Grayson Torres
> make your own money > live by yourself > become the king of your own life in wicho you can do whatever you want > if you go out on vacation with family, get your own fucking room you are an adult for goddam sake
Christian Gutierrez
Ummm, just don't jerk off you degenerate
Ethan Foster
you're denying every fucking solution what else do you want us to tell you do you want us to open a secret fap portal where you can jump in and jack off just don't jack off you stupid hormonal mess
Levi Cook
22 years old?! Man up Op. What the hell is she going to do anyway, call the cops on you?
Levi James
nigga a free room is a free room. plus i am a poor fag recent college grad with no money.
Julian Cooper
do it in the bathroom you low IQ fuck
Charles Thompson
Anons, I am getting too hard rn. idgaf about my uncle being in the living room with me rn. I am about to sneak off to the bathroom to pound my dick. I will report back in a few. wish me luck
Juan Collins
I would, but she has cancer rn and has the whole family on her side being her yes man and if I were to yell at her about not letting me go to the gas station, I'd be an asshole. I mean I could but I don't want them arguing about it.
Christian Diaz
read my recent reply, I am fucking going for it.
Benjamin Hall
this is the obvious option that anyone who isn't a brainlet would just take without hesitation
Nathaniel Nguyen
currently in the bathroom hiding, taking a shit, and am about to jerk off too. godspeed OP
Benjamin Green
Be a man and rule yourself instead of being a space to fapping, you weak fuck
Easton Martin
OP here.. updating you all
I am jerking off to my favorite vid and just a few seconds ago my fucking uncle comes knocking on the door: "user, are you okay? you've been in there for a while and I heard some moans. you okay?"
I am hard as diamonds and my uncle just came to knock on the door. I can't just blue ball myself nor can I finish. why the fuck did I listen to you faggots. I basically just got caught jacking off.
Why the heck were you moaning? You fucking sick fuck
Cooper Ward
>i am a poor fag recent college grad with no money.
it is a so easy quiestion to answer, it is not rocket fucking science. Solve the fucking problem like a man: get more money by any mean possible. Your fucking faggy pretexts jus show me you are not a man (yet). If you want more, you find a way to get more.
Jaxson Robinson
Have some porn, OP :) You can save it for a fucking week later LOL
What are you, 12? Or do you abuse yourself for shekels while camming and now you can't stop?
Fuck, show some discretion. If you can't jerk off quickly and silently during an emergency, you deserve to get caught.
Hunter Miller
it was the video I was watching at low volume. apparently my fucking uncle has radar ears. That video is on the lowest volume possible
and also, you've never slightly moaned when cranking it/cumming?
Julian Green
you don't moan at all while jacking it? I do when I cum but it's not strange to do it when fapping you dweeb.
Tyler Cruz
> 3 days wait until you become a full blown wageslave i can barely manage to crank one out once a week
Josiah Russell
You are fucking retarded. Holy shit why would you play the sound
Alexander Johnson
>it was the video I was watching at low volume.
>What are earbuds?
Seriously, your operational security is so shit poor that you deserve to be caught, dick in hand, by your whole family including your mom, even if your mom is dead.
Camden Cooper
OP here, with another update.
I walked out of the bathroom after contemplating my situation, and my uncle looked at me weirdly as I exited the bathroom. I did not finish and now I am pretty sure he knows what I was doing. I want to fucking die.
You went this far. Bow up on him, and ask "What do YOU think I'm doing? Dude, use some common sense and quit pestering me.I'm either constipated or jacking off."
I did something similar the last time I was caught. And I felt much better afterward instead of denying and avoiding talking about it.
What was I going to do, find some earbuds then waltz into the bathroom with them? even if I were to stuff them in my pocket, my bag of stuff is in the living room, where my uncle currently is. can't sneak that.
Dylan Scott
only one thing left to do now, make him take responsibility
Blake Phillips
I was. took my shit, jerked off to some retro lesbian porn, and now am currently smoking a cigarette before bed. shit was cash.
Ryder Edwards
my earbuds were in the living room where my uncle currently is. I couldn't quickly stuff them in my pocket bc it would require me to get up and look for them in my bad, which would make him hear me. he was about 10 feet away from me.
Jose Fisher
Besides, OP, earbuds are a very bad move if you need to jack off discretely with family hovering around. You might start making more noise than you think you are while some faggot family is right at the door trying to fuck up your alone time.
Jason Miller
lucky fucker.. retro lesbian porn you say? sauce?
Daniel King
thank you for understanding. shit ain't easy. next vacation I am taking it the fuck alone where I can jerk off wherever I want.
Easton Johnson
>meanwhile OP's faggot uncle will silently judge and give OP weird looks to make him feel like shit, finish his work, and retreat to his private room to jack off (or fuck his wife) to his heart's content
Dude you're 22, everyone knows you gap anyway who cares. But really how fucking hard can it be, here I'll give you the run down on what you should have done. >Lay on couch/bed/whatever >Make sure no one is behind you >browse porn/ pics etc. on your phone (no volume you fucking retard) >Get incredibly hard, don't touch your weiner >Go to the bathroom under the implication you're going to shit >Since you're already hard and have been blue balling yourself it should be pretty easy to bust a nut >If anyone asks just say you're shitting Literally brainless
Angel Bailey
i hope user has more shenanigans planned
lets say the timeshare is at a beach, so user next says he is going for a night stroll on the beach while it is cool
he makes it to the beach and positions himself adjacent to a rock formation or something, not really behind it but out of sight for the most part
just as he reveals the purple-headed yogurt slinger, a lovey-dovey couple comes into view, slowly nearing user's location...
Leo Taylor
Just jerk it under the moonlit waves
Luke Brooks
If you're that horny it won't take long, just do it in the bathroom into tissues and flush them, I'd think a robot would have more confidence in his fapfu than this, I'm disappoint
Adam Collins
Do nofap like a real man
Luke Clark
update, robots. my uncle is finally going into his fucking room. idk if he's gunna come back out but i am going to ninja over to the bathroom again and try my luck. wish me luck. if I am successful I will share the porn I jacked it to.
Jack Fisher
yeah idk if he is coming back either, i dont understand why he has the time to be fucking around knocking on bathroom doors when he is supposed to be making up for the work he is missing on vacation. on top of that, it sounds like you are pretty much the extra in this situation so i dont know why he would even be trying to get involved with you. like, my work shit is way more important than dealing with some non-immediate family member, and thats like if they actually needed something. now knocking on the bathroom door for moaning? no man, thats pretty much guaranteed bullshit.
