First day at the gym after two years of a pure sedentary lifestyle

>first day at the gym after two years of a pure sedentary lifestyle
>the resident dude told me 'ok bro lets do some light stuff during this first week'
>tells me to do some chin ups
>my asshole contracts with the force of a thousand suns
>i go to the bar
>try as i might i can't lift my weight up and my legs start dangling, my face gets red and I end up farting
>he tries to hide his laughter and tell me to use the assisted chin up machine

Attached: We-should-be-ashamed-of-ourselves-Fox-Emerson.png (1500x720, 356K)

>sedentary
>light stuff
>chin ups

Bro u playes urself. Stay away from that fag, he only wants to injure you to COPE. I'm sure he was a 5'9 manlet who was jealous of the 6'0 giant. He can't compete.

just do SS, SL, or GSLP

Yeah, OP here. That guy was shorter than me (I'm 1.80m) and looked annoyed when I asked him to help me with my workout.

What routine do you recommend to begin with? Should I ask the staff/gymbros even if they are shorter and therefore more insecure than me?

This is why people don't go to the gym. Gymbros and even the professionals are fucking scumbags

Yeah only an asshole would recommend chinups to someone sedentary. Pick a workout, start light, work your way up.
Don't let it get you down OP. Get stronger than that fag and show him up.

You gotta break down the wall of shit to build a temple in its place

you're a manlet yourself

You don't have to be smart to laugh at farts, but you have to be stupid not to.

Irritated manlet found haha bro enjoy being a second class citizen

Give it to me straight user, am I retard for not starting with SS?

I ended doing bro splits because this huge mofo I worked with was giving all the advice in the world and I even did his arm day exercises (which worked great for getting a massive pump) but I ended up wrecking my shoulder joints and started getting hard shooting pain under my left shoulder blade.

Should I just stop the memery and bro-advise and just go do SS? I've barely seen any gains for two months apart from bigger arms

lift at home first dumbass. What are you showing off by going to the gym, you dumb fatso motherfucker

How is this rational? How does this help OP? Why would he buy a bunch of equipment before going to the gym? Have you ever been outside in your life?

Retard. This is exactly why fat people stay fat and skinny people stay skinny, it's because of morons like you.
Don't listen to this turbofaggot gym rat. Just go to the gym and start light. It took a few weeks for me to get the confidence to do deadlifts and squats infront of everyone

fucking shit faggots. Post bodies

Post yours, faggot

those routines have always been suggested to beginners for a reason. stick with them until you stop making linear gains and then switch to whatever fits your goals.

Fart or no fart, you shouldn’t ask a dyel to do chin ups on his first day. I’ve seen people that can’t do them properly even after 1 year of training.

Alright, will do user

Ask another guy to help you set up your routine, tell them about your sedentary life style and if you dont feel comfortable doing a particular excercise just tell them that and ask if there's a variation of it that you could do.

When i started going to the gym i had the same experience albeit i didnt fart, but i could tell other people at the gym were watching me struggle really hard with the chinnups and it was embarassing, a friend of mine was helping me and he was doing most of the work for me which made me feel even worse, i felt pathetic. The guy helping me out insisted that i kept doing chinups with his help kind of aggresively but i planted my foot and stood for myself, did an alternative workout and eventually i started doing chinups by myself.

Is this Elliot Rodger?

lmao what the fuck? Did you ask some random ass dude to help you with your workout? I would have done the same shit

I just switched from yoloing it to SL 5x5. It's pretty much the same but SQ/DL/OHP and SQ/Bench/Row on A/B days. Has an app, having a blast and I'm already intermediate in all lifts.

Haven't been this excited to go to the gym in awhile

The one who did this was an employee of the gym. They always have 2/3 guys with P.E. bachelor's helping people out.

The guy isn't OP (that's me). He wasn't a random dude, he was a gym employee and it's his job to help people with routines, ask them if they have some physical condition, make sure people have proper form and spot them on the squat rack and bench press.

you need to do a proven beginner's barbell routine. stop fucking around with the huge mofo's advanced routine for roidmonkeys and do something that works, I recommend Greyskull

if you get a good pt he is going to give you some stuff to figure out where your strengths and weakness are. From this he will give you 1 of the 5 preset routines he is allowed to give you per corporate gym standards. I bet the guy is really into fitness and if you asked what a real routine you should be doing he would give you one based on what you actually need.

probably ss or sl

>first day at the gym after two years of a pure sedentary lifestyle
>the resident dude told me 'ok bro lets do some light stuff during this first week'
>tells me to do some squats
>makes me take off my shoes and wear flipflops
>warm up with the bar
>ok, not bad
>load up my bodyweight
>can barely walk it out
>two and a half plates crush me the moment i unlock my legs

writing this from the hospital room, fuck you faggots

But if you're not a skelly or fatty you should be able to do at least one unless you're abysmally unfit? Doesn't seem like bad intentions

I'm new to Jow Forums and don't understand the flip flop meme