/Feels/

>be me
>have very strict and demanding parents
>always try to please them by trying to be the best
>there was another person to top me every single time and always get compared to them
>this shit goes on for 12 years, until i finish high school, get the highest score in my country's SAT equivalent and finally move out and go to college
>felt so liberating and good to finally leave the toxic environment that was my home
>still did not meet their expectations and they keep asking more of me, i am still compared to the person i was always in the shadow of for 12 years
>they called me a dissapointment and a waste of space

I have no friends, my family dislikes me, i feel like killing myself and the only thing that keeps me from not doing it is my hate for that person.

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>Umm, yeah, kinda. I'm attracted to you
Having said this and not meaning it was already a mistake. However, I think the best way to solve this is to be honest and genuine, tell him that you have a crush on somebody else and you're not really interested in him.
don't give away false hope or mixed signals

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Your family is shit user, shit.
Don't let them drag you down, getting these scores is impressive and should not be looked down at. For some people perfect will never be enough, start looking for what (YOU) want in life and not them
Come, i'll give you a hug

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My dad literally had a public meltdown ealier in a shopping centre about how much of a failure i was for not knowing what to do next. Then seemed to recover when we drove back to my mums house(divorced) and came in to do a piss because she wasn't there and had another meltdown about the state of me and my brother, stole my little brothers weed and ran out crying(and hes fucking 120kg with fucked knees).

Lately i've been feeling really depressed because the mediocre results that i had in middle-school were the only reason that got me rejected from the Army
Now i'm stuck in a -well paid at least- job that i fucking hate and i'm actually scared of beign stuck there for all my life, at the point that i'm unironically thinking of joining the franch foreign legion
Also I'm basically dragging a relationship that isn't going anywhere, but since having someone it's better that nothing I keep going with it, but i feel like a failure of a person every time we finish fucking

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My mother told me this earlier
>can't you at least act human
Hurtful. I give up.

Thank you, user! I really needed someone to tell me that. Is just... After all these years, to be called a dissapointment and a waste of space really hurt. But, if there is no pleasing them, i suppose, i should put myself top priority for once. Your comment really helped! Hug

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>Listening to youtube.com/watch?v=UIvaN4HHN6U
>Suddenly understand ideas of the archetypal knight of purity/justice and the pure virgin.
>Fall to despair over the fact that these ideals are dead.
Why was I born such a romantic? Don Quixote had it right, but it shouldn't be so. A man who has nothing to lose also has nothing to fight for; the positive aspects of femininity have been stifled, destroyed and desecrated.

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Thanks for the advice. I'll do my best to tell him the truth in a careful manner.

This website is what is keeping me down. It does more harm than good to my mental health yet im so addicted i cant leave. I wish I never found this shithole.

No problem fren, i knew you needed it
My pleasure

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I've tried having an online relationship multiple times, and obviously I get ghosted eventually. However each time previous to this one I got over it really quick since I didn't care too much.
This time though she was basically my ideal woman in nearly everyway, and she even said that she loved me when she was drunk, and as such I became extremely emotionally attached.
And of course she ghosted me anyway, so now I just want to die more than ever. Now anytime I meet someone who isn't ideal I'll just think back to how I nearly had someone who was ideal, and will never be able to feel the same.
At this point I've pretty much lost all hope, because online relationships are the only way I could ever get a relationship, and if that's no longer an option, then I have nothing.
All I want in life is a wife and kids, but if I can't have that then I don't want to live at all.
If only suicide was easy.

I wonder what causes this.

They are going to grow up to be trash. I bet they ain't got no father.

Fuck the dude that was avoiding you and go for this boi. Why don't you like him?

I'm pretty sure loneliness is the main cause. Isolation can cause actual damage to your brain causing it to shrink.

Their future isn't set in stone.
She's a single parent. The children have different fathers.
Most likely the kids will be miserable degenerates. But they have a chance it will just be harder for them.
I "made" it but I'm still miserable

You should avoid them and just do stuff you want with the funds you can afford.

>Lets hear your feels anons, whats keeping you down?

Everything that defines me.
Give it up means giving up on life, only realistic solution.

I can't tell exactly, but I only feel physically attracted to him and I don't want to jump into a relationship with a person I only find fuckable and then constantly think about the other guy. I'm sure that would end up with me acting like an asshole and him being hurt, and he doesn't deserve this kind of treatment.

Why do you like the other guy? He doesn't seem to like you

He obviously doesn't. He's already rejected me a few moths ago. I just projected my ideal onto him the moment I first saw him and it developed into an obsessive crush. Like the deep passion a poet would feel for their muse, except for the fact that I'm a talentless retard who could never make those feelings into any form of art.

What talents would you like to have? Obsessive crushes are bad for your mental health and won't go anywhere because they are based off your imaginary ideal.

You're right, but there's nothing I can do about it.
>What talents would you like to have?
Well, not necessarily a talent, but I would love to give something valuable to the world. Maybe I'll write a book later in life.

I feel you will regret both of these choices. Aside from giving something of value to the world. Though I don't think a book is the right way.

Same my friend,i know we are all needy now because we want something from the past,the sexual liberation changed everything,sure there are still girls out there who are pure even though they are living the modern womans life.

But it has become so severe that asking for a woman to be pure,or a man,is not understandable.

I feel really similar for over 10 years now. Year ago I broke down totally. I can barely feel any pleasure of eating, sleeping, taking a walk or even scratching my itchy back. Everything seems to be blured. I have no clue what the mythic happiness is, what are the sympthoms of beeing happy. I don't even have any dreams, nor goals to reach no hobbies anymore, no interests. Fucked up every single chance for improvement or decent future. Achieved absolute 0, disappointed my family. I can see clearely I totally rekt my own life by myself and I am the only preson responsible for it. I can see no hope for getting better and honestly, I don't even want to change because I know I would fuck up yet another time. Every time I pray to God I beg him for death for me, because I have no balls to off myself.

Sad, how old are you? Surely there must be something you want to do, it's just you reject it because you think it's impossible.

How did you fuck it up? If you know where you went wrong, you can avoid making the same mistake this time and manage to actually turn your life around. And if you really cannot pull it out on your own, you can always reach out for help, after all we live in a society and we should help each other. I do not know what your story is, but everyone has a chance of redemption, friend.

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29 in 2 days. It's too late for me. Gonna turn wizardhood in 2019 and hopefully get enough courage to finish my pathetic life. Or maybe die in some accident. That would be nice option

I'm a worthless human being and don't deserve happiness. The only wortwhile thing I could do is to enlist and die in a war, but I'd need to earn money for eye surgery and learn Russian first.

Can relate to your entire post
there was a day where I just broke down for seemingly no reason. bawled my eyes out for a long ass time. woke up the next day just completely hollow. i felt nothing inside me since then
I don't feel pleasure from sleeping or doing things like that either. days and weeks and months seem to go by in a blur. I don't even remember what happiness felt like. it's been far too long.
no dreams either. no aspirations or goals. no hobbies or interests. i dont really want anything out of life anymore.
>Fucked up every single chance for improvement or decent future
this part fucked me up the worst reading your post. it hits way too close to home. when in the past you were presented with ways to unfuck your shit or change the future, and you simply ignored them or fucked yourself over. like you were denying yourself happiness and the opportunity to change. like you feared not living in a total state of emotionless hell. this is such an interesting phenomena.
I don't see any hope either user. I don't believe in myself, let alone my family. no friends, no goals, no one to care for. I'm just hoping I die in my sleep at this point.
Existence is a pain and I'm done with this phony shit
normalfags will say shit gets better with time. quite the contrary. as time goes on I only feel worse and more hollow.

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Do you wageslave? No reason for good people to kill themselves because of others. I'm assuming you aren't dirt poor as you have internet and comp.

there's never a single day or event things go so wrong as to produce a robot. life has just seemingly always been bleak and eventually it just breaks your mind and you become a husk of a man.
i don't even know what happened. I was always excluded as a youth so I never even had the chance to develop social skills or friendships. nothing could be done.
people always say to seek help, but I don't even want help anymore. I just want this charade to end.

Feels bad, man. I have ways to improve myself by eating better, jogging in the fuckhuge park 10 meters from my house, eating better, but I have like this metaphorical boulder that weighs an infinite amount that keeps me down, makes me physically sick to even think about doing these things. I have somehow deluded myself into thinking that getting a job would fix ALL my problems. I mean they would fix economical problems sure, but I still can't get a hold of a fucking job, not even shitty call centers

>tfw can't take anything seriously anymore
>can't stop thinking about how it will all end and it's for nothing
This has been going since 2007

ive been thinking about suicide 24/7 for the past month, i think i will just jump under a train soon

Maybe this isn't quite Jow Forums but I don't know who to talk to. Feel very disconnected.
>Be me
>21 virgin
>I could have stopped a girl from getting raped
>did nothing
>She had a crush on me but was too autistic to realize this
>living with the guilt for years.
> Been arrested twice trying to deal with the guilt in unhealthy and violent ways
>Lose my virginity
>Girl gets pregnant and i marry her
>Stillborn daughter just a week shy of full term
>Karma
>Wife's sister gets raped
>Spend time with her and realize I have much more in common with her than my wife
>Want to help
>She continues to get depressed and suicidal and closes herself off.

Also have two grandparents really getting deep into Alzheimer's.
I have two healthy kids now that I don't feel like I deserve.
My still born daughter's birthday is coming up in a week and a half.
I am married to someone that I feel I shouldn't have married, but feel stuck now.

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Want to an hero, but couldn't do that tonmy kids

I cut my mom and sister out of my life because their mental illnesses would've destroyed me and driven me to sudoku. My father and stepmother just keep pushing to just go on with my life and I do so but deep down I just want eternal peace. Nobody bothering me, nobody making me feel guilty if I need to take some time to clear my thoughts and nobody constantly demanding shit from me. I know my dad and stepmom just want to help me become a normal functioning member of society but I'm done with life. I just want to be free

I honestly never had friends until i got into uni. My family was toxic af, all i was doing all day was go to school, go home, sleep, repeat. My social skills were almost innexistent, like, i never had someone to go out with, the only fluent conversations i had was when the teachers asked me about the lesson, and the only thing i was doing during recreation was doodle my notebooks. And in summer breaks, i was doing basically nothing all day long, just surf the internet all day. But i met this robot in uni, who was just as awkward as i was, we even have the same fucking name! For the first time, someone asked me how i was feeling, because i had a worse period, skipped lots of classes, i was just by myself again. He literally helped me, even if i didnt ask him to, so, we are not alone, user. At least, not forever

I'm sad Jow Forums, like real sad. I'm way too tired to write it all down so have a green story
>spend 2013 to 2018 desperately looking for a job
>try LITERALLY everything, you name it, I tried it
>suddenly my mother calls me (she's divorced and I live with my dad) telling me one of her friends is opening a Bed&Breakfast close to where I live and needs someone even without experience to fill up extra hours and that can talk english as well
>dress my best, tidy up my CV, put on confident face
>interview goes as smooth as butter, pay is 800 eurosheckels per month, not bad for a beginner
>"we'll call you in as soon as we finish the last painjobs of the hotel in about a month, see ya then user"
>I finally see the light at the end of the tunnel
>I can help dad with expenses and buy myself something, depression seems to slowly wither away
>a month passes
>call them up
>"yea sorry user we need someone with experience lmao :^) lol bye"
>world drops from under my feet, see the world collapsing before me
>first comes unbrindled rage, scream at the top of my lungs and destroy my office chair
>then misery, pain, death, depression, it all comes crashing down
I have been practicing lucid dreams lately, at least I can fullfill my satisfactions there since the real world don't work anymore

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>cant get experience without a job
>need a job to get experience
it's frightening how long i've been hearing this and still no one has found a solution yet besides straight up nepotism

you're just lucky in your case user
what were the chances of you bumping into this guy? how would life be if you never met him?
stuff like that is extremely rare. finding someone just like you in real life.
it's yet to happen to me

funny thing is nepotism didn't work for me, I was about to become a waiter at my uncle's restaurant and a couple days before that my family had a violent argument and he told me to fuck off and seek a job elsewhere, destiny is laughing in my damn face.

>Do you wageslave?
Yup, I've got some low paid full time job

>No reason for good people to kill themselves because of others
You don't know me, you must admit. I don't blame anybody for this disaster called me atm. As I wrote earlier the only guilty one is me and only me. It'e an effect of years of fucking up everything I touch and every chance given by people.