>I am a wizard
>Wandering the realm with my frog familiar in search of waifu scrolls and tendies
>Come across a dark, ruined tower
>As I near the tower's entrance, the stench of piss, shit and cum makes itself known
>This is clearly the home of a fellow wizard
>Call out for my brother, that he may share his tendies and waifu scrolls with me
>Get no response
>Walk into the tower without meeting with resistance by any wards
>This is suspicious
>Ready my magical staff
>Piss bottles and poop jugs litter the ground
>Collect them, for the excretions of wizards are rare and valuable potion ingredients
>Torn remains of waifu scrolls abound, as well as half-eaten tendies
>Notice movement in the shadows
>Cast an illumination spell to reveal whatever is lurking about
>It's a succubus
>Now I know why my brother didn't answer my calls
>He has been consumed by this creature
>The foul demon throws itself at me, its huge vaginal lips flapping menacingly
>Reacting quickly, I summon poo shards and throw them at the fiend
>It dies impaled by poo
>Leave my frog familiar to copulate with its remains, for he has no mana to lose
>Proceed to the top of the tower
>Find a veritable treasure trove of waifu scrolls and fresh tendies
>Steal everything and continue my journey with a fuller belly and emptier balls
>I am a wizard
I am a wizard
epic post
witnessed
good job with this post
made me have little bit of faith in this site
Can't wait to re-read this on r/Jow Forums
please continue the story great wizard
also someone make a skyrim mod for this please
How many upvotes are you gonna get when you self-post this to le reddit, user?
a magic ward will disintegrate mouse and keyboard of anyone trying to repost this on reddit
>I am a wizard
>My journey continues
>Night has come, and with it the need to seek shelter
>Find a comfy clearing
>Start weaving the complex wards required to drive away roaming packs of nocturnal normies
>Clearly I didn't do so quickly enough, for an arrow comes flying at me
>Pathetic
>I am a wizard
>Reflect the arrow back to its shooter
>Hear a yelp as it finds its mark
>Something falls off a tree
>It's a Stacy youngling, thin and wearing tattered rags
>It must have attacked me out of hunger and desperation
>It's crying because it has an arrow sticking out of its leg
>It is not a wizard
>It begs me for mercy and tendies
>I ignore this insect as I ponder the best course of action
>Soon my mind provides an answer
>Animate the arrows in its quiver and make them stab its body over and over
>My eyes twinkle in joy as its cries of agony fill the cool night air
>With a grandfatherly smile, I vanish the Stacy's brain, putting an end to its suffering
>Cast preservation charms on the body
>With all these holes, it shall serve as an adequate fleshlight for my familiar
>Ignite a fire with my staff
>Warm the tendies stolen from the wizard whose lair I had come across earlier in the day
>After dinner, unroll my new waifu scrolls
>Cum buckets
>Go to sleep with a smile of contentment on my face
>I am a wizard
it reads like something you would find on reddit.
another epic from the tales of the wizard
i enjoyed every letter and hope there will be more stories to come
i wish i was a wizard
Unironically enjoyed it. Make more of these posts
OP inspired me to write a short story about this, stay tuned
Unironically enjoying the story OP. It's a nice little break from feels threads. Keep it going
Last one before I depart from this plane.
>I am a wizard
>Get a good night's sleep
>Wake up to my frog familiar's croaking
>Masturbate to waifu scrolls as frog familiar picks his teeth with the bones of the Stacy fleshlight
>He must have eaten its flesh at some point
>Hungry
>Time for breakfast
>Look inside my tendie pouch
>Empty
>I ate all the tendies in last night's feast
>REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>Put on my starry robe and wizard hat in a foul mood
>I can't search be a wizard on an empty stomach
>Fucking normies are gonna pay for this
>Take to the road
>After a few hours, come across a normie caravan
>The Chad caravan guards challenge me
>Ordinarily I wouldn't waste my time with normies, but no tendies in my tummy have made me quite grumpy
>Unleash a torrent of magical pee pee on the Chads
>They scream in anger and disgust before charging me
>Fucking normies never learn
>Transform the piss into gasoline and set Chads on fire
>Stroke my beard in satisfaction as the Chads burn to death
>The merchant normies who own the caravan are crying in terror and confusion
>Demand they give me all their tendies and waifu scrolls
>They comply, terrified of my arcane powers
>Give them a mysterious runic ball as payment
>Tell them to move along
>They make themselves scarce
>As the caravan grows more distant, I hear explosions and screaming
>The runic ball was apparently a bomb
>Well, it was just some normies, nothing lost
>Whistling a merry tune, I continue along the road, munching on my well-deserved tendies
>I am a wizard
Someone can pick up from where I left off, or let the thread die. I fucking hope none of you posts this on Reddit
i will train hard to be a wizard too one day so i can have these great adventures
please return to out plane someday mr wizard
Bumping wizard thread
I admit it, I keked
>I am a wizard
>After a day of marching, I have reached the gates of Normietown
>The Gate Guards require a bribe to enter
>Reach into cloak, pull out Purse of Bottomless Neetbux I acquired in a famous duel of spells I fought against the necromancers of the JobCentre Alliance
>Purse is empty
>This cannot be! The enchantments on this purse were eternal!
>"Excuse me, my good man..." I say, and tip my pointy wizard hat to the guard, "...is tonight not the new moon?"
>"Tis indeed the new moon, outlander scum!" he replies, and rattles his enchanted +1 Spear of Wide Girth at me
>Confused, I check the Purse again
>At that moment, the sun drops down over the horizon. Sunset has come!
>The Purse shakes and jerks in my hand, as if it has been reading my waifu scrolls
>All at once it fills to the brim with gold
>As I approach the age of arch-magery, my memory fails me at times. I had forgotten that the Purse only refills at sunset just before the new moon
>Toss the guard a coin or two. Low-value etherea, no bits, of course. Foolish normies are easily satisfied
>The guards wave me through the gate
>I am a wizard
Short but pretty good, 5/5.
>I am a wizard
>I continue on my path with my tendies in hand and familiar by my side
>eventually I run into a small village
>it's completely quiet and there's nobody in sight
>"strange" I think to myself, as I search for the local general store to purchase more tendies and waifu scrolls for the road
>as I enter one of the buildings, I am struck on the back of the head and black out
>next thing I know, me and my frog familiar are chained to the ground and surrounded by chanting figures, each with horribly deformed faces and bodies
>I look up to see a large statue of their deity which they refered to as Al'Stulfo
>at this, I realized the identity of my captors, disgusting trap posters
>one of them comes close to me holding a bottle of potion labelled "HRT" and tries to force it in my mouth
>I use my wizarding abilities to cause the bottle and it's contents to fly back in the face of my assailant while turning the contents into acidic pee as it shatters on it's face
>the others take notice of the death of one of their members and begin to surround me
>I let out a thunderous "REEEEEEE" causing the trap posters to reel in pain as their ears ring and start to bleed
>the giant statue starts to crumble at the base from the power of my sonic attack and shortly after it falls and crushes my captors to death
>I use the key from one of the dead trap posters to unlock me and my frog familiar from our chains and we run away from the town as fast as we can while throwing poopoo bombs back at it in an attempt to burn it to the ground
>I eventually grow tired and decide to set up camp for the night
>I take out my waifu scrolls and have a two hour fap session before falling asleep
>I am a wizard