What's it like having a dick

Not OP but I just thought about that and it kinda does except it bleeds sometimes. It feels like a softer wetter asshole.
I wasn't aware but now that I'm self aware that I have two holes inbetween my legs it feels quite weird to describe it.

That's the best way though, instead of your balls, imagine a soft wet asshole.

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What's is like having tits?

I have 12D's and everyone complains about back pain and saying they just in the way etc.. but my whole life I've only worn sport bras (because I don't want to deal with wires) and I don't find them to be as painful as people make them out to be.

Just imagine.. two REALLY big mangos hanging off your chest but they're merged in to your skin. Although when I run if I run really carelessly I'll have have a bad time because they'll hit my neck or just feel like they're pulling away from my skin, imagine grabbing your balls and pulling them away from your body jiggling them up and down fast.

I think I got off track but ya, they're really just giant fleshbags that you need to keep contained or else they *kind of* inconvenience you when you're doing things like running. I also LOVE having an easier place than my pocket to put things like my phone.

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>What's it like having a dick
Excellent
>Does it get in the way a lot?
Only in rare circumstances
>Do you have to position it so it doesn't make a tower bulge?
Don't know what that means but if you are only wearing underwear then bulges happen depending on size
>What do you when the head gets stuck in the zipper
I've never heard of this happening to anyone but it sounds extremely painful

>tfw I will never bury my head in them
Sounds nice tho

>head gets stuck in the zipper

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Imagine an easily stimulated massive clit hanging between your legs that gets hard for no reason and makes cummies when you sleep.

Who here /massive dick/? Always bulges my trousers even when soft.

Buying pants for me is difficult with my penis size anytime the legs are the right length my crotch feels tight and constricted

>two REALLY big mangos hanging off your chest but they're merged in to your skin

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Hot as fuck, right?

fun fact: there are no women ITT

My dick is only a problem positioning wise during and after an erection. Fortunately, my job doesn't really care about manners so I can just adjust my crotch whenever needed.
Even with an erection, I've never caught my dick in a zipper lol. Underwear prevents that pretty well.
>tfw you're squatting down at work, get an erection, then you have to let someone by you.

>Be "fortunate" enough to have a well above average member
>Be asexual

ALL IT DOES IS GET IN THE WAY OF EVERYDAY LIFE. I HATE IT SO MUCH.

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Well I have mine lock in a chastity cage so it's not a big deal.

fun fact: there are no women on the internet at all

You should date me to find out. What's your number?

>Does it get in the way a lot? Do you have to position it so it doesn't make a tower bulge? What do you when the head gets stuck in the zipper

Not really

I'm not certain what you mean by tower bulge.

And scream. a lot. because it fucking hurts. a lot.

>I also LOVE having an easier place than my pocket to put things like my phone.

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I woke up this morning with painfully hard morning wood for 15 minutes, so there's that.

1) Sometimes.
2) I have to position it so it won't bulge yeah.
3) It doesn't, I've got underwear.
It's pretty nice though, fun to play with.

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I sat on my ball sack once hurt like hell.
Having a dick feels exactly like having an ear you dont really feel it most of the day but you know its there

External genitalia are so strange on the face of it I'm sometimes surprised we evolved that way. Your entire ability to reproduce is just dangling out there unprotected by nothing but your wits.

Having a dick unlocks these achievements

>being able to piss wherever you want
>if its small or average, gives you low self esteem
>sometimes, especially when you are young, you will wake up with a boner, you arent horny, you just wake up with a boner

1. Barely. Balls can make sitting somewhat difficult though.
2. I just put it to the side. The tightness of most pants prevents a "tower bulge" from forming. I just put it to the side (normally left, but every person is different) down my leg.
3. Never had this problem. Unbutton, zip down, dick out, pee, dick in, zip up, button. Only way you'd mess it up is if you're rushing.

Oh

sidenote: underrated feature of being a man, having testicles

Sometimes when you jerk off when you are young one testicle will move inside of you. This is a sign you are about to die. RUN!

>12D
bullshit, 12 would be a tinnnnnnnny band size and even if thats possible itd also mean you have pretty small tits because band size affects cup size, not "REALLY big mangos". Youre either larping and dont know how bra sizes work or foreign countries' bra measurements work differently. Id actually like a response, correct me if im wrong.

when I was going through puberty it was always in the way, I would get random erections throughout the day, usually in class, and then the period would end and I would have to walk through the halls and feel like everyone was staring at me. it was pretty awful.

I can't speak to others' issues but with the shape and size of mine it is fairly easy to hide an erection if I am wearing jeans and I position it straight up, it usually stays tucked under my belt. sometimes moving it is required.

I am in my late 20's (yeah and still here, what a loser) and I have only pinched the skin in my zipper one or two times, it never gets "stuck" like in the movies and 99.9999999% of the time underwear will protect that from happening.

>when I was going through puberty it was always in the way, I would get random erections throughout the day, usually in class, and then the period would end and I would have to walk through the halls and feel like everyone was staring at me.

He never learned the trick when you clench your thighs together and lose your boner, lol.

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as an update i just googled it and in some countries' bra measurements size 12 is equivalent to what size 34 is here in America, which sounds much more realistic. sorry femanon

I'll try that if I ever get a boner in public ever again, thanks user, you get +1 digital hug

How the fuck do you get your dick stuck in a bike chain?

Yeah do it in intervals of 10 seconds, clench quite hard, it'll work. Obviously don't think of sexual shit when you're doing it or it'll defeat the purpose, I found this trick out when I was 12, never got caught with a boner in public.

Wikihow bike maintenance instructions

its actually amazing honestly.
just holding it and feeling it is really enjoyable.
it can get uncomfortable popping a stiffy depending on the pants you wear, but generally they feel good. having a nutsack is really nice as well desu, I love fondling mine as I jack it.

tried this and painfully cracked something in my pelvis
fucking faggot