I want to better my understanding of depression.
Can tell me about your experiences with it, please?
I want to better my understanding of depression
Joseph Scott
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David Lopez
Shit sux
Thomas Thompson
I only experience it when I'm not actively communicating with other real life people.
Whenever I'm in a depressed state, I stay in one place at all times, only getting up to shower every 3 days, eat, and shit/piss.
Austin Bennett
Basically your not sad or happy but just empty inside all the time and that feeling is exhausting
Thomas Nelson
sometimes, i lose interest in everything that once made me happy. music sounds like a bunch of meaningless noise, games seem pointless wastes of time, reading becomes a never ending slog of words.
even masturbating, though naturally flooding my body with pleasant hormones, puts me into an even deeper depression when after cumming i look at the girl on the screen (usually a cute, every day amateur because it somehow seems more real) and wish i could reach out and talk and embrace -- which was always the deepest and most meaningful part of sex for me
then i stay awake for hours, replaying every humiliation in my head. i think about whether i can really make it through the rest of the probably 40 years of my life i have left. then the light comes and i become too tired to stay awake. and then the next day starts and i beg my body not to do this to me again.
Lucas Howard
it feels like something is eating you inside out
another explanation is that im in a glass box. outside the glass box, there are people conversing, laughing, connecting. all the while, me wanting to connect, but not being able to because of the glass barrier.
the depiction also works in reverse. them in box, me outside of box
Anthony Rivera
It's a multitude of things. It's being both being incredibly sad, but emotionless and apathetic at the same time. Nothing brings you joy. You could be on a roller-coaster with a bag of churros or scrubbing a stank toilet, and it all feels the same. No joy, no anger, just numbness, wondering if it will ever go away and you might find the wonder you once had as a child, but knowing that's not realistic since you've been this way for most of your life. Suicide is always around the corner, but the idea that you might someday become "unnumb" and find out what your passions may be is the only thing keeping you from offing yourself.
Grayson Smith
>and wish i could reach out and talk and embrace
This is the thing that's pushing me to buying a helium tank.
Jaxson Ramirez
Everything just feels grey and everything feels boring. That's pretty much all there is to it
Henry Taylor
this be like it is. no excitement, no desire to do anything, just a vague longing for a distant place that doesn't exist
not necessarily suicidal but no real reason to stay alive either
Wyatt Hughes
It really sucks. Recently, I have lost interest in my hobbies. The thought of playing with or against someone fills me with dread because I feel like I am gonna make a fool out of myself, or I am gonna get mad and throw a big fit. Either would make me feel worse.
Talking to people frustrates me. Arguing or even having a insignificant disagreement/debate with them makes me belittle them in my head or makes me feel like an idiot. The anger just makes me sink deeper. It makes me feel like there is no hope in this getting better.
Where I don't want to talk to people, I get lonely and hate myself more.
Sadness and anger can loop back into one another. I have overcome this before, but it is a cycle that is hard to break.
Hopefully things will get better. Drawing seems to give me a bit of joy. At least when they don't turn out awful.
Help me, robots.
Noah Walker
Shit's always boring but I've never felt like it would be OK if I died, everything is just in a grey area
Jack Brown
Listen to some new music to help with your mood, either helping a mood or making it stronger
This is how you bring out emotions
youtu.be
Gavin Gutierrez
One thing I forgot to mention is that it makes it harder to go to sleep sometimes.
Jonathan Morris
It really is a meme. There's nothing wrong with feeling it.
Jackson Campbell
Shut up faggot. There's a clear difference between a depressive and non-depressive state
Dylan Turner
What's your point? It's still a meme.
John Mitchell
OP here
How common is it for you guys to cut/self harm? Why do you cut if you do?
Blake Ortiz
i cut often to feel smth and to exercise control. its a cheesy meme and a literal nin lyric but its tru
Christian Long
>believing depression is a meme
Gabriel Butler
Memes have come from depression, but depression itself is hardly one.
Landon Rivera
Basically it felt like my IQ dropped 30 points, constant self hatred, frequent panic attacks, constant fatigue, no energy or motivation to do anything, inability to focus, inability to find anything fun, and a constant feeling of dread.
Isaiah Nelson
That but I don't get the panic attacks, instead I space out for what can be hours at a time, I can't talk properly, I get meaner without wanting to be, guilt builds up, and I spiral down pretty quickly after that
Aiden Jones
I've never experienced guilt in my life, at least in a moral sense. What I felt was basically an extreme disappointment in myself, and felt like I was inferior to other people.
Sebastian Nguyen
for me it comes in waves, one week i'll be feeling fine but on the weekend i wanna fuckin neck myself, and i'll sit in my bed crying. then for the next week i'll feel really tired and emotionally drained.
Camden Rodriguez
The way people treat you during your down phases is also poorly handled. "user, you're doing this for attention." You're observational skills are astounding. You think that depression is more likely born from a lack of attention or something else going wrong as opposed to being a method to get attention?
Brandon Ortiz
You asked for it:
it feels like you're bleeding out and everything is gradually losing color. Things that you really liked to do before: like hobbies, interests or creative activities. what for? You start to ask yourself: what's the point? To keep you busy? To prove yourself? For whom? your family? your friends? for yourself? Why? Many then tell you how much you have already achieved. but what is it worth, what does it change? Nothing.
They will continue to treat you like a naive idiot. Good enough to work, develop useful ideas and be a good supporter, but not enough to have an opinion or be heard. cute enough to be fucked by guys or girls, but not normal enough for a relationship. I know that sometimes I am a bit slower, simple and strange, but I try my best to keep up with being a decent person, who is reliable and dutiful. And yet. it is never good enough. People use me, steal my ideas, destroy what I'm trying to build up and blame it on me. I asked myself often what's wrong with the world, but now I understood that it is my own fault. I am the one who doesn't work properly. be it idiocy, incompetence, asberger or just bad luck. I don't care anymore... so many years have passed and everything just seems to repeat itself.
I'm tired. but I am still here. I still have things that I want to do, stories I want to tell and people I want to meet. But that, too, is slowly losing its color. I'm not good enough anyway and by now I'm afraid of you... of others. but... I just keep going, try to smile and be nice... I hate myself.