How do you imagine your first ever real date with a girl will go r9k?

My first ever date was about two years ago. I met a girl off tinder who went to the same university as me. She studied archaeology and I was very proud of myself for never making *that* joke.

I gained a lot of weight during my masters and I was about 60 lbs heavier than I am now - but I used photos of when I had previously been skinny in my pics so she immediately looked disappointed. We had two drinks before she left and the next day she unmatched me.

The worst thing I said was when we were talking about childhoods and she told me that she'd never broken a bone.

'Never? Haha, well if you like we can go into an alleyway and I can hit you with a brick! Haha! Just kidding! Haha!'

Pure. Unbridled. Shame.

You ask about imaginations. I stop on the moment when I ask for meeting and get rejected.

I went on my first date in pre-k. We held hands and gave each other butterfly kisses. Shit was cash.

If it all works out, I'll being going on my first date Saturday with a girl my mom hooked me up with.
I'm excited, but I'm also dreading it.
I'm 27, a kissless virgin. Any tips?

I don't imagine it will go at all because I'm almost 30. For some years now I haven't imagined any such thing as it has become increasingly implausible and just feels like lying to myself.

>'Never? Haha, well if you like we can go into an alleyway and I can hit you with a brick! Haha! Just kidding! Haha!'
Holy fuck

Attached: Dopethrone.png (1362x1350, 1.83M)

I had a first date so I'll tell you fellow robots how it went

>matched with a girl on tinder, it was really clear that she was super autistic and a nervous wreck
>her bf dumped her because she dropped out of uni and had to move back in with her family and they couldn't see each other because he was 17 and had no money or job
>she clearly wanted some guy just to fuck her so that she can get back at him
>I thought, fuck it, it's clear that this isn't going anywhere and that I'm just a rebound but I might still get sex out of it (something which I thought was never going to happen at the time)
>talk for a month before we meet, learn everything about her, end up talking for 18 hours on the phone the first time I call her
>realise she's actually a really wonderful person but has been abused in the past due to the mental problems which she has (serious depression, suicidal thoughts, self harm, zero confidence)
>saviour complex kicks in and I want to save her, I want to make her happy and be happy with her
>we finally meet, our first date is us meeting up and then going to McDonald's (we're both fucking autistic and were too shy to eat our food there, we take it back to my place)
>she's constantly covering her face with her hair and not even looking at me. clearly nervous as hell
>we eat our food and she says she will go lay in bed (I got the hint straight away), follow her to my bed
>she asks me if I'm going to hug her
>I hug her, never hugged a girl before that, it felt so fucking good my god, I had NEVER felt such happiness inside my heart since then
>we lay in bed in the dark, talking about something, we're both fully clothed because too shy (fucking autistic looking back)

1/2

shitposting over a fire in the middle of nowhere or exploring whatever tetanus central can be found

>we're just kind of laying there, not sure what to do next, but start thinking about how she invited me to my bed, and how she asked me hug her, pretty sure she likes me and wants me to do things to her
>grab her ass pull her to me, she's a bit shocked but moans a little
>play with her ass, keep squeezing it through her jeans, feels nice, first time I squeezed an ass
>she puts her lips to mine and we kiss, just a short regular kiss no tongue or anything
>I pull her crotch so that it's rubbing against my dick, have a raging boner now although don't feel too horny, probably the nerves
>I start kissing her now, then notice she's trying to put her tongue in my mouth
>open my mouth and start rubbing our tongues together, suddenly get this huge burst of horny, have NEVER been this turned on
>grab her tits and ass through her clothing, was expecting to be a turbo autist but I guess my genes knew what to do
>she tells me she's really wet and will ruin her jeans if she doesn't take them off, start thinking that holy shit I will actually see a vagina for my first time in my loser life
>prepare to make mental snaps of everything because in my mind this will never happen again
>she struggles taking her jeans off because they're so tight, slowly manages it, see a huge wet stain on her panties
>I somehow made her horny, what is happening, is this real life?
>she asks me if I will do the same, I take my pants off but keep my underwear on because I'm shy as hell
>she takes her top off too, I pull an alpha move and undo her bra, she slips out of it
>tits right there in my face, what the fuck, is this a dream?
>she takes her wet panties off now and is fully naked in front of me, and doesn't mind that I'm touching her
>no idea what to do now, how do I put my dick in?
>she asks me if she can suck my dick, tells me it's a major turn on for her
>I say ok, and I stand up, she goes on her knees and sucks it a little, while shes doing it I lose my boner

2/3?

Not as rosy as the movies or that picture. I asked a girl I liked once (and I knew she liked me) if she wanted to have a picnic at the park with me once.

She laughed at me. Ideal dates that women enjoy are like gif related.

Attached: womanbeat.gif (169x176, 1.61M)

>end up talking for 18 hours on the phone the first time I call her
>we're both fucking autistic and were too shy to eat our food there, we take it back to my place
If you're going to LARP your sexual fantasy at least make it somewhat believable user

Attached: 1472945614158.jpg (306x306, 20K)

>bit embarrassed by this, but eh, still felt good
>go back to bed, I lay down first, she gets on top of me
>starts rubbing her pussy on my dick while making out with me as she's on top
>boner instantly comes back
>she takes it and puts it in, I tried doing it but couldn't find the hole at all :)
>her pussy is really fucking tight and my dick doesn't fit at first, she has to keep putting it in a little at a time
>had no clue this was possible, I thought dicks just fit
>I awkwardly move my thighs until they get really tired, wasn't doing it in a comfortable position
>move my legs down and start doing it again, much more comfortable
>notice how good it feels, notice how she's moaning and grabbing my back
>keep doing it for 15-20 minutes, no idea how long it actually was, forgot everything outside of what was happening at that moment
>can't cum, she says her legs are really tired, so I tell her to get off me and lay down because I don't think I can cum
>no idea what we talked about or what happened after that
>remember going to my couch to make out naked, that was really nice
>tried fucking her again but I lost my boner
>end up jacking off on top of her and cum on her stomach, missed her tits

After that we went to sleep. That was my first and only date I have ever had. She became my gf and we are still together 7 months later. I never thought I would find someone as autistic as me, but somehow it happened. I know this was more of a "how user lost his virginity" story, but I thought I would share it anyway. Maybe the few robots who read this whole thing realise that what happened to me can also happen to them.

I lived almost my entire life on the internet and can talk to people through voice chat no problem, but in person it's totally different. I can't make eye contact and I stutter and sweat if talking to strangers.

Very uncomfortable I would probably be nervous as fuck and making sure not to do or say something stupid but end up doing something that will fuck everything.
Good thing I will never be on a date to begin with

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>'Never? Haha, well if you like we can go into an alleyway and I can hit you with a brick! Haha! Just kidding! Haha!'
That was a good line, that girl was probably a lesbian

>Maybe the few robots who read this whole thing realise that what happened to me can also happen to them.
It won't, we'd have to actually try to get laid for that to happen. I'd honestly rather die alone than use Tinder.