Listen robots, I require your age and some basic details on your current situation right now. With that information...

>18, recent graduate
>Not going to college cause I'm scared
>Kind of scared to get a job also
>I had a recent revelation that I need to start making money fast.
>Khhv no gf
I really want money all the sudden. I figure it would be a great game to play, to alleviate the boredom of having no friends or gf.
Also my grandfather died recently, and I'm sleeping in his bed. I didn't cry, but I loved him deeply.

I see that you will have a close friend in the soon future, but the crystal ball is not telling me much else.

I see that you will have sex and friends, but you will lose your joy again at some point.

>15
>never had gf
>enjoying life
>not bad grades

huh thanks for that

I see that you might decide to go to college and you will have a job in the service industry.

>but you will lose your joy again at some point
Lmao get fucked suicide, poor lad can never catch a break

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You will have a bright future with a kind and attractive gf.

What service? Tell me or I'll fucking kill you

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Ok ok, you will work in a sit down restaurant.

i wish I discovered r9k at 15 I would have become way edgier

That's bullshit. I got to college to be a fucking waiter? No way. I wouldn't fall for a meme degree.
Please change it

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Hey, you have to have a first job, the crystal ball is saying this not me.

>18

Bad things:
>No friends
>No gf
>Virgin
>No relationships at all
>ASPD
>Mild depression
>Mild anxiety

Good things:
>Going to college to study CompSci
>Smart
>Not ugly
>Extremely ambicius
>Can talk to people without sperging out
>Healthy
>Starting to get Jow Forums

Your life is going to improve from here.

Your balls bullshit and I'll prove it wrong. Fuck you user

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23, work in a bar, live with roommates, gf is coming over for netflix & chill right now

Hey now you tard, if your foolish enough to mess with the crystal ball you would definitely fall for a meme degree.

Your life will keep on going as it is, and from what you said, it seems fine.

24 yo KHV
I did enter late to uni
My relationship with my father is calling apart
My "friends" don't have time for me because of their gfs and jobs

I see that you will have troubles with relationships in the future.

I meant like gf relationships, not your father.

Can't wait to shoot myself in the face.

18, fairly good academically but also get v frustrated when things don't go my way, im the dullest human bean alive but sometimes am able to play it off, never to the point of making friends tho. And ofc khhv

>18
>ugly
>low functioning iq
>socially retarded
>cant drive a car
>dumb for college
>never had a job
>dont like going out
Im never going to make it, am I?

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I see that you will never have many friends but you will pull through.

I see that you will have many fake friends who will betray you but you will learn from your mistakes.

Thank you crystal ball man. Never really needed friendships although my parents always pushed me to

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Do me m8
I am a 21 year old dude, I am studying in uni and compeletly sucking at it, love life it's unexistant and very unlikely, started triying to put my life together but I fail everytime also i am triying to learn Russian for no reason at all and my country got sexually assaulted by Croatia

Im 18 and have no friends as well as nothing to do all summer. I stay in bed all day on my phone. I dont even get up for food anymore. Whats going to happen?

I don't see that you will have much improvement in uni, but you will manage to make a living in your home country without having to move.

You will keep on wasting your summer but you will meet some new people in the coming school year.

That is, if you do go to any school.

Fuck, well thanks m8

20, no interest in having wife nor kids, not really interested in anything besides music, dropping out of college this year. Will go to another one though. Will I be happy later on in life?

My crystal ball requires rest, keep on posting and I will consult the crystal ball when it is ready.

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Okay last question for now, the ball says that you will be happy and possibly have some money without any wife or children.

20, living with older sister, studying software engineering. Although I mainly waste my time on the internet I pull through with my exams relatively well.

14, concerned about what happens after death,still confused on the whole dating thing shits impossible. not suicidal or sad just concernced

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>14
Mods!!!!!!1!!!! B&!!

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You will succeed in school and move out soon. Nothing on relationships though.

You will grow to be less anxious and confused, but the crystal ball is not certain.

24 , have a few friends ,zero romantic or relationship experience , body is in good shape (thanks to Jow Forums) ,currently reading about philosophy shit

One of your friends may introduce you to a romantic partner and you will be happy together.

I'm 22. Went to community college studying pre-pharmacy for 2-3 years with no degree. Had a chance to be in a relationship with some fat girl who decided to whore herself out despite having a bf. Chose not to. Failed driver's test a total of 10 times throughout those years until I moved to Texas for a summer and got a license there and came back to Upstate NY for school. Gave up on school for the semester again. Had 3 retail jobs over the next two years that I could barely hold for anymore than a couple months. Would have lasting NEET spans in between jobs. Working another retail now and still living with my parents since leaving highschool.

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You will keep your current job for a long time but you will find it difficult to be able to move out.

Good looking face but awkward,kissed twice, hang around sketch parts of town where i can fell more accepted

No age so a bit unclear but the crystal ball say that you will find trouble if you keep going to those parts of town.

I want to go to school again but I'm not, or ever was, able to stop being indecisive about everything. I don't know where to go. I don't know what I want to do with my life. And each day that goes by while I keep thinking about about this scares me to death.

I just want it to stop or at least be assured that I can leave behind my current family to take care of themselves so I can disappear quietly.

Once you have moved out life will be easier for you, and make the decision which will help you in the future the most. Do something that you enjoy.

18
Have a job
Soon to get certified for asbestos project managing
3 close friends
KV
Only girl I've ever had anything with is not responding as of recently
Learning Harmonica
405 squat
Extreme self hatred

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You will learn to deal with your self hatred but the girl is not interested. You will be successful with managing the asbestos project.

>24
>junior in uni
>cant get gf bc I'm too crazy and weird
>family and friends say I'm beautiful
>everytime I try to talk to girl or go on date I get ignored or rejected
>hate my life

I already know my future tho...I'm going to be a politician and save America one day

I see that you will be ignored and rejected by girls more, and you will have great political power.

bet nigga.
thanks for awnsering senpai
anything else you can tell me?

28

I'm looking for a part time job so I can quit the cubicle farm and schlupp on eBay more and take nap naps

>19
>virgin
>pure mathematics major
>just finished up my first year in the Air Force
>no friends in my squadron

tell me my future

>20
>in military, but get out in 2 years want to be a nurse
>taking some skool
>no social life outside work really
>$10,000 saved up for transition out mil

future thing: you will test for CDCs soon.

tip: use your TA. I'm taking evening classes on base and it really helps get your mind off the daily bs.

>19
>weeb
>socially anxious retard
>gonna start law school in a few months

Sadly all I can say is that other than that, things will not change much.

You will get the job and save money.

You will not make any friends in the Air Force but you will meet a gf outside of the Air Force.

>24
>In medical school
>I have 3 FWBs
>I do drugs often
>I just want real monogamous love

You might get the job and you will gain better social skills.

20. Failed first semester of Engineering in college. Back on track this fall. 140 IQ. Live in Southern USA, close to a US military base. Only sexual contact with a female was making out 2 weeks ago and a week before that at a concert and dancing at clubs. Played HS football, no girls tho because semi-autist and bad friend group. Intermediate Lifter, go to the gym every day, minor physical problems due to lifting. No sustainable income, work independently for Dad's friend, but make good money off that.

Law school is going to be easier than you think and you will stay a weeb for the rest of your days.

27
have a bunch of dumb memes circulating in my head that are dictating my life and I want it to stop
they're driving me madder than a hatter

>18
>just graduated from highschool
>severe social anxiety, avpd and depression
>no job, no car
>no friends
>want to be a translator/teacher (English/Spanish)
>probably bi

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You will keep on thining of these memes for a while but you will get over it eventually.

i'm 19, starting university in a few months, currently in an LDR and have been for about a year, lost my virginity to her a couple months ago, got a YT channel i'm hoping will earn me minimum wage by the end of the year

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You will overcome your social anxiety over time, you will be a teacher, and you will question your sexuality.

>You will overcome your social anxiety over time, you will be a teacher
I hope so...thanks user.
>you will question your sexuality
I'm already doing that kek

You will find a way to see your gf more often but you will have to experiment with different types of content on your YT channel to get significant money.

Okay.
20 years.
Very lazy math major (not a US university, not sure if the word "major" is even applicable). 30-40 acquaintances I talk to sometimes, zero friends who'd invite me to hang out.
Obviously never been in a relationship.

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If you acknowledge you're a weeb, you might not actually be one.
It's even less likely if you dekiru Nihongo beyond what anime and J-Pop could teach you.