Any other "OCD" anons out there? (ill just call it 'being OCD' even though it makes no sense when said without the acronym)
And I'm not talking about the hollywood A-lister OCD type with his high end job solving crimes or with some hot sidekick, and hes all perfect and clean cut etc.
I'm talking the walled off in a 3 foot square of your apartment, wanting to take a shower but you cant because there's a minefield of debris and pathogens in sections of carpet you've committed to memory in the days preceding your cubic seclusion in the corner.
Sometimes I'll go to bed, and spend 5 hours adjusting my shirt so its pulling perfectly at all angles of my body, and ill get so fucking angry about the situation ill just curse god for how autistic I am.
If I wash something, it will be rinsed for at least 30 minutes afterward so every molecule of soap is gone. Sometimes, everything gets too overwhelming and I will shut down major parts of my brain and become basically catatonic and family members have to check in on me or else id die from starvation. I am tortured by all "data" i see around me and no meds/therapy can help.
Yep. Every 10 seconds I worry that if I tilt my head or cough at a certain angle left or right I'll suddenly have a spontaneous carotid artery dissection. If I move my head up or down or have occipital head pains I assume I have a vertebral artery dissection.
If I have too much omega3 fatty acids I assume that I'll suffer hydrocephalus or some sort of herniation.
I can't walk down stairs without skipping 2 otherwise I'm paranoid that I'll suffer from some sort of vascular ailment.
There's so much more, but yeah I have OCD
Christian Gutierrez
Have you tried just not doing any of that crazy shit?
Alexander Fisher
well i tried. thanks for the response i guess. here i am sitting in my own filth picking lint off my bloody arm looking for some kinda help/community from people like me.
I dont fucking glorify this in the least, i know you thought of the most contrarian thing to say to hurt me i guess mission accomplished
If I move my head up or down or have occipital head pains I assume I have a vertebral artery dissection.
i dont move my neck at all unless at certain angles or else ill have a full blown seizure from the fucking wrongness of it.
Austin Clark
I have pure o ocd. It's the worst one, just saying. I'm sicker than all of you.
Adrian Reyes
also i cant stand the feeling of blood being pushed the wrong way if i squeeze an appendage too hard, like the blood is going to rupture a vein internally.
the circulatory system is a nightmare
Aaron King
>i dont move my neck at all unless at certain angles or else ill have a full blown seizure from the fucking wrongness of it.
That's the thing. If it were up to me I'd not move it.
But I HAVE to cough and I HAVE to look up and down (Or I think terrible stuff will happen) and the moment I feel dazed, stressed, tensed or slightly dissociative I ruminate over the symptoms
Blake Miller
i think the internal noise of the cartilage or whatever the fuck it is, that grinding noise if you move your neck the wrong way. that is the worst outcome.
the neck is like a constant accident waiting to happen. im with you buddy.
Anthony Nelson
i also try to avoid having to cough or i will be doing it for hours trying to "end" it correctly
had to go to ER once as a kid cause my mom thought i was choking
Robert Robinson
ill get heavy obsessions and drop it a month later, anxiety too. Maybe something is wrong with me, maybe i'm normal and weak willed. I don't know
I've spent over $4000 in a period of 2 months over this fucking cardiovascular /neck problem.
Maybe one day we will have the tech to eradicate it in it's entirety.
Stay strong man
Isaac Peterson
fuck. sorry to hear that.
well, as of now no meds can help ive taken them all, most I just got completely dependent on.
im sure people like us have these genes/behaviors because somewhere along the line of evolution we survived harsh conditions/predators
nowadays it helps nothing.
Andrew Ramirez
well if you are able to drop them, try to find what changed, if anything did change. i believe in you my friend. and i feel for you.
Brandon Mitchell
I'm a hand-washer. Also, i'm one of those people that will have intrusive thoughts and then feel the need to stand up and walk out of the room and go back in or something. I have been learning to simply ignore it as it does get easier by doing that.
Camden Fisher
I wish i could obsess over one thing for as long as I wanted, it comes and goes, and my obsession can very on pretty much anything.
I'd be making more money if I could keep my obsessions career related
Dylan Nelson
>it's the worst one lol get a load of this normie
Jaxon Walker
is hocd real or am i just bi?
should i cut the porn out?
Wyatt Collins
I think I had mild ocd as a kid, I used to feel compelled to do things in a ABBA BAAB BAAB ABBA pattern so they'd be "symmetrical". It was pretty mild and I grew out of it without anyone but me noticing. Thank u 4 reading my blog
Aaron Hall
only reddit calls telling anonymous intimate details on the chan a "blogpost"
this is what Jow Forums is for
also reddit spacing is a jewish trick to get us to write in condensed blocks like mongrels
youre welcome here friend
Benjamin Lee
To anyone that is suffering from ocd pay fucking attention.
I have ocd. It was so bad one point that it brought me to my current robot friendless neet existence. However I tried psychedelics not too long ago and now I can say that about 75% of my symptoms are gone. I wish I could have tried this shit when my symptoms were first showing up or that I could now do it with a therapist, but fuck the war on drugs. If anyone would like to try the same, and has never done drugs I would recommend: first smoke some weed to get experience. Then do a tab of acid. Remember set and setting. Depending on results move up to 150 mgs to 200 mgs. Try to meditate why you do your compulsions and ways to stop doing them. Shrooms can be tried with similar results. If you have trouble sourcing research the onions or buy 1p-lsd legally. Take care and be safe everybody.
when I was young, my OCD was really bad, my whole day was filled with rituals like... > writing something while having a "bad" thought, have to erase it and write it again with a "good" thought > saying something or even thinking something "bad" and then having to say in my mind 10 times "i did not mean that" > washing my hands so much that my skin was getting damaged
at one point I wanted to solve this and started to endure it as I realized the more I repeat a ritual because something "bad" the more I remember the "bad" thing... I endured it or tried to "cheat" and it did help... although from time to time when something really bad happened ( death in family ) or when I was really happy, the rituals came back but it was easier to get rid of them.
I did not even know it was OCD, when I learned what OCD is I almost cried that I am not mad, that it is something real... I thought I've cured my OCD but when, after failing college and becoming depressed, I went to a psychiatrist I've been told that all these anxieties are still there
With time I've become almost empty inside, experimented a lot with psychedelics that sometimes made it worse sometimes helped me ( overall I'd say the helped ). Now I quit my SSRI medication and hope that I will feel emotion again, not be empty inside
Robert Davis
thanks for the info user, but you seem young no offense. Also i dont take psychedelics because i dont trust myself or my mind not to create the perfect hell in front of my eyes. more hellish than reality.
Aaron King
SSRI's have literally lobotomized me friend.
I dont even feel like ive awaken from a dream most days.
NO feeling whatsoever. None.
Ethan Bennett
Don't know if you're op and your age. I'm in my early 20's and I consider myself responsible with this stuff. If you ever do decide to try it you could opt to microdose instead.
Justin Green
yep, im OP. and a chunk of age older than you. Just my experience here, have many friends who tried psychedelics, had life changing experiences etc. they all returned to baseline eventually. but everyones different.
