ITT: We all live in a medieval village

>be me
>plague doctor
>beat an old hag for inquiring my help

LONG LIVE THE EARTH MOTHER, GAIA
FREEDOM AIN'T FREE, WE GOTTA BE PRACTICIN WITCHCRAFTS

"Hey..who wanna learn some magic. Dont burn me , Im not a witch desu"

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>tfw you lost the skirmish and mother refuses to roast mutton for you

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>starts roasting hot hogs over the open flame

Guinevere just showed a hint of ankle undergarment, See you later, Virgins

>tfw 8 yo wife gives me hugs everyday when I come home
Feels great

The monk here.

>just reported and for witchcraft
>reported for lacking in charity

The Mother Church feeds the poor. Feel free to line up for your daily bread in front of the cathedral

>tfw already killed 6 people in the village and still not got caught yet.
"EVERYWONE , I THINK JAMAL IS THE ONE DOING KILLING LATELY"

Is 20 acres of land sufficient for a knights fief?
The lord granted my sire 3 times that for his victory, and I feel as though I have been swindled.

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Reported to the watch for covetous and lustful behavior.

This poster is a witch. He now has to prove his innocence in a court of law.

I sentence this lot to death.
The convicted shall be hanged until death for the wicked crimes committed against the crown.

Ye olde Barry the lumber jack here. I think i saw 3 roasties n a woods dancing naked and chanting woo whee.

I have traveled all across the land, in search of the right gifts for m'lady the princess. Across all ye forums of discussion I have defended her honor, and fought any evildoers who seek to sully her name. Surely when she sees my good hearted kindness and devotion she will finally notice me, and maybe perhaps even bed me! Wish me good blessings brethren!

Why do witches keep burning our books, Jow Forums? I just want to be left alone and read books. Is that so much to ask? Must they really inject themselves in everything? Bookies rise up!

"I swear in the name of our almigthy lord, I didnt do it. IT WAS JAMAL, I SAW HIM SUSPICIOUSLY WENT OUTSIDE AT MIDNIGHT"

You're fooking white mate?

Codex Inquisitio chapter 7 verse 7
>"If there is significant reason to suspect that a person is a witch, then the legal court need not take place, but a witch trial must take place at once at the church square"

However I am but a humble monk and need for a higher up in the Church to execute these orders with the heavenly authority to do so.

I feel like is a witch also.. Maybe he can be thrown to the same witch trial with the other witches?

>try to live as a mercenary
>get killed by bandits on my first night alone

This guy is quoting some sort of book. That smells like sorcery and the dark arts to me.

I agree. I'm an illiterate peasant so if I don't understand it, it must be witchcraft. BURN THE WITCH REEEEEEEEEEEE!

*slaps on the cheek*
You blasphemed the Holy Codex of the Holy Roman Catholic Church. Go to confession at once if you wish to save your soul from the fires of hell

>implying the pear-shaped pasty frail robots who post here wouldn't either die at childhood from weak immune system or be killed because they can't work the fields

If one must say one is humble, they may not truly be humble.
take your holy arse and return to the Abbey instead of acting slothful and accusing random peasants of witchcraft, you have copies of the bible to pen.

>tfw already raped my 10 years old sister
>mfw the villager had no power to stop me
No I can live with peace

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>accuses a holy monk of being slothful
Give me one reason not to make the Abbot excommunicate you

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>Now I can live with peace
tfw the Church will throw your corpse outside the graveyard of the faithful when you die and not even give you Last Rites. Eternity looks grim for you

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You're showing your hair, and your dress isn't in accordance with your oath.
You'd be excommunicated before me, you loafer.

An erternal suffering sound fun to me. I already pass my seed into 10 different woman and my bloodline will still live. Remember that abortion is a sin user
>tfw can had sex with succubus forever

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>tfw you will suffer in a fire that burns your body soul forever
>no food no water
>no pleasure or relief from pain of any kind
>this for an eternity

F-fun...

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>moor who has already been expelled, thankfully

Well then let's put it to the test

what's the tes- wait... Where did op go??

Praise be to Jesus Christ Primus Scriptor, and everyone else as well. 'Tis a fine day indeed.

The test is very simple. You are first tied down to a rock, and then the rock is thrown into a lake. If you float to the surface you are a witch, in which case you shall be rightfully burned at the stake.

does anyone have the version when the fireman saves her?

what be a "fireman" sire? I'd never heard of such a thing

a fire fighter

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>harlot showing her hair
>dress of mixed cloth
>speaking of piety
T'would spark laughter, were it not so heathen

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Local village unknown stranger thief guy here.
I wonder who has some heirloom

>that feeleth when 18 and still not married
If I can't find a maiden to court soon should I just become a priest?
I don't want to be the village hermit

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>Knight Chad made fun of my lute playing again
Jokes on him one day the whole village will listen to me play

lets get a rock then

greetings primitives i'm a time traveler from the year of our lord 2018

Thou art a filthy foreigner and a witch
Begone with ye vile cartoons and warped swords lest the clergy have their way with thee

wait, how does a medieval knight know what a cartoon is?

Getting any land in this day and age makes you chadlemagne.

Go forth and steal a peasant wife brodius , the stable girls doth be blossoming this season

Kill the witch. orengs

Josiah Royal Hunter of the here

Swear last night I saw Jamal fucking a witch out in the woods

Fucking ye old cunt made me lose my boar

i'm not a witch, i'm merely a man of the sciences. i worship our lord god up in heaven. i go to church every sunday, i merely wish to bestow thee with knowledge from futures past.

There were no niggers back in medevil times, you monkey.

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There werent monkeys either you fucking witch

monkeys and niggers indeed existed during this era, just not in europe. you fucking faggots.

Good day peasants! I hope you're tending to the land, you wouldn't want to miss the rent you owe me.

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Nay, what folly this be?
My loins burn for the taste of those Nubian temptresses o'er yonder.
Forsooth, would not it be such merriment to plant ones issue within such a voluptuous rump?

Joineth me in the profession of medicine. The baudy wenches will not be able to resist you and the pay is sufficent

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seriously? a man comes from the future and none of you want knowledge of the future?

Begone warlock, you speak with the voice of Satan.
Misery alone is borne of your "knowledge".

i am no warlock, sir. as i stated earlier, i'm merely a man of the sciences.
why would you accuse me of being a satanist warlock?

Aye foul doctor thou'st having anything for my ilk, my loins burn'eth with the passion of a thousand suns

>sciences
Verily, thou art craven. You dare to pervert our medieval village with such dark magics?!

it's not magic, science is merely a higher understanding of the laws of this realm which god has created and enforced. nothing satanic or daemonic about it, and if you believe otherwise, thou art a fool.

Guards, I don't want this vile heathen near the castle! If he comes close shoot him on sight.

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I'm telling Father Maltheus on you, thou shalt burn for thine heresy.

i'm no heathen, also. how does thou possess the scientific knowledge on how to make firearms?
i thought y'all used swords.
how is science heresy?

Do not fear my lord
Thine heathens foul magic can't harm a chosen warrior of God such as thy self

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I meant with a bow and arrow you brainlet heathen.

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once again, it is not MAGIC. it is SCIENCE.

bows and arrows are terribly inefficient, thou should use firearms. if you want, i can teach you how to make firearms.

Nay, but thine 'firearms' art a trick of satan himself! Begone, demonic creature!

Aye, take this cure which I have spenteth many years creating. *beats with stick*

firearms are not a trick of the devil, they're not magic, and i'm NOT A daemonic creature. i'm a man. same as any of you.

So sayeth the demon, increasingly unable to hide his satanic nature from the good servants of the Lord God!

>I'm telling Father Maltheus on you, thou shalt burn for thine heresy.
Father Maltheus reporting in. What hast happened mine children?

once again, i am not a daemon. i'm not satanic. i'm a honest god worshiping human being.

>King Chad is invoking prima noctis on my wife again
Will it ever end?

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Nay I can vouch for this man!
He beateth me off with his magic stick
The burning has since then ceased good father

If thou art honest God worshipping child of the Church then thou shalt believeth every dogma and doctrine of the Holy Roman Church. Do ye?

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Father Maltheus

Hello, goy- i mean, fellow brothers. Can i leave the ghetto?

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local moneylender here op

yes, i indeed believe every dogma and doctrine of the holy roman church. however, these fools believe i am a witch just because i have technologies these peasants cannot understand. they wish to burn me at the stake for heresy. when i have committed no such acts against our lord up in heaven.

The big nose one sayeth mean thing to me, I shall slay thee.

Thou lackest in charity of the earthly and the heavenly! Do ye penance therefore and give quarter of thine possessions to the poor lest ye should fall to hell

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Father Maltheus

But that's me!

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I never mentioned I was amongst the Hebrew ilk, friend

Oi sheckel monger
Doth thou'st have any available wenches
My last wench was beset upon by a black beast

Prove thy honesty by tending to the poor sick and the imprisoned in this village. After thou hast done these acts of charity come back

Fr. Maltheus

I am a Venetian, not some Hebrew!

Nay, as a knight it shan't be a challenge for thee.