*facing away from everyone* "I don't want your recognition, I don't want your congratulations, I don't want your head pats. don't try to find me and definitely, *looks back at them with a look of pain, anger, and desperation in his eyes* don't try to be my friend." *throws hood of his jacket over his head and walks out of the cafeteria calmly*
I want to make a movie where that scene happens. a new edgy kid who dresses in all black, not the school shooter type, more so the interesting, intriguing but dark and brooding type shows up randomly at a high school where he beats up bullies picking on a literally retarded kid (in that scene).
Cliche as fuck and obvious projection fantasy. I would usually be constructive in my criticism, but my suggestions would turn this scene into something completely different.
Isaac Williams
Managed to cringe a lot 10/10
Jaxon Rivera
>I don't want your head pats I don't want you patting me on my head (saying "you've done a good job/thing")
Sounds better
Ayden Foster
yeah but what about the rest of the day people are gonna be talking about how you saved a retard, what you're just gonna sit there brooding?
Ethan Russell
>rate my scene like some faggy 14yo power fantasy
Aiden Robinson
yes. there will be another scene where the girls in class are fawning over him for what he did in the cafeteria and he's just sitting there with a vibe of anger+sadness to him. this doesn't stop the girls though. one gets up in a girly, cute way, walks over and puts the note on his desk.
he picks it up, goes to open it, but then the camera zooms in on his face to show him give a slight smirk, then he crumples it up into a ball and tosses it into his mouth.
he chews it up, raises his hand, the teacher calls on him, he goes "I'm going to the bathroom". the teacher is kind of taken back by the fact that he doesn't ask, he tells her. she gives a reluctant yes. you can see her blushing slightly. (foreshadowing). as he walks out, he spits the Paper note the girl gave to him into the trashcan that is next to the door. the girls are disgusted and Taken back but still interested in him. he opens the door and walks out. he leaves the door open.
there are going to be scenes where he let's up on the edginess and brooding a bit cause it would get old really quick but I will have to see ty
Better scene: Guy walks in with trench coat and opens fire on the room Staceys all get fucking shot He commits suicide in the bathroom
Justin Peterson
The scene only works if after the kid walks out, the cafeteria crowd either:
1. Laughs hysterically 2. Acts like nothing happened (like the Tavern on the Green scene in the original Ghostbusters)
Although I guess you could have Shrek pop in and take a snapshot of the kid instead.
John Nguyen
You should go tell people on deviantart about it. They would love your story. Add a couple of furries and an inflating gym teacher and you got something gold to sell to the autists.
Sebastian Morris
gay as fuck
I want a movie that shows the struggles of an autistic kid in high school that is sympathetic to his perspective this is not how you would do it, nobody would ever pick it up and even if they did your movie would be ridiculed all the way to the trash can
Joshua Gutierrez
you're going to love napoleon dynamite
Benjamin Morris
that's a comedy rather than a serious film that portrays serious issues faced by us robots
Nah, a scene where a smart but crazy kid sets the school on fire and kills everyone would be better
Easton Gomez
cool
the edgy dude is leaning up against a wall outside after school, waiting for everyone else to leave and clear out before he starts his walk home, as he doesn't like to be disturbed by "the skids of the 21st century" as he would put it.
hes not leaning with his legs crossed as most people do when they are trying to look cool because he doesn't want to come off as a "try hard skid". not that he cares, he just doesn't want to portray that image.
all of a sudden a girl with dark hair, heavy also dark makeup, a nirvana T-shirt on and tight leather pants walks by. she looks back and sees him, and scrunches her face up. for some reason she doesn't appear to like him
"I'm the edgy loner around here." she muttered, barely opening her lips "yeah, that's cool." he replied back, nonchalantly "no, its not cool. you're taking my fucking thing." she said with a fiery hot passion "yeah. once again, that's cool. unlike you I'm not trying to fill some role like a try hard skid. its just my.... essence, I guess." "well take your essence and shove it up your ass!" people were glancing over at this point he looked up, breathed through his nose and blew the air out through his mouth as if he had just took a drag off a cigarette "its all just so troublesome." he spoke softly to himself. "so, what do you want me to do, ms "I'm stuck in the grunge 90s era?"" referring to her nirvana t shirt. he chuckled at his own joke. he was arrogant in that way.
thats as far as I got right now. what do you think
eh.. I'm making this for fun more than anything but you are right about this being sort of deviantartish
how? im open to constructive criticism. honestly I really love it and think its great so far. these are all just random scenes in the movie. I dont even know what the point of this movie would be yet. just bits and pieces ..
Kayden Ramirez
he turns out to actually be 50 years old
Aaron Sanchez
i actually wrote like 15 pages of a highschool story about really heroic characters but when I threw out my portfolio it was in there. the first school scene some "douchebag in an Abercrombie shirt was talking about the girl he fucked in the ass over the weekend from the other school"
Juan Gonzalez
the main character keeps talking about his band that he's the bassist in but it's just him but it's still a band
Caleb Morales
he needs to play 1 vs. 5 at a time basketball vs the varsity team at the rivercourt. because the pointguard is now dating the edgy girl. eventually he recruits the rejects and they play football against varsity for all the marbles
Sebastian Wilson
there should also be a very antagonistic relationship between him and the gym teacher he keeps getting every year. turns out the gym teacher kept manipulating it so he got him. eventually the gym teacher pats his head and says "I always loved u boy" and he shoves the hand off then the last day of school somehow there's a game of 2 way dodgeball and it's just him and the gym teacher against each other, because the gym teacher got the head jock because he saved head jock and then head jock sacrificed himself for him and he hits gym teacher with the ball and gym teacher flys in the garbage can
Robert Hill
My sides in orbit/10
Easton Brown
this is when he's the most popular guy in school and gets invited to the party the whole school is going to and goth girl admits she loves him but he says "fuck off" and walks off down a dark street 'and keeps on walking and walking'
Nathan Parker
What the fuckaroo? Holy fucking autisim, man!
John Barnes
the next book is about how he goes to college and then he's a kindergarten teacher and he says "I remember being just like ya'll, TINKERTOYS!" and then he walks out down the street and keeps walking and walking. the reader will be left with "wtf did he go to college 4 then?"
Aiden Wilson
in highschool he goes to the dance wearing a garbage bag and no underwear, he's wearing a vip pass and a wig "I'm Hannah Montana" at one point he's dancing on a stage and everybody can see up his dress somebody points and screams "I can see your junk!" the principle starts towards him but the gym teacher grabs the principle's arm
Jeremiah Lewis
the 5th book is very simply Gym teacher rolls up in a really nice car on the street and says >"Hey I'm looking into the process of putting together a squad." him: "Noice!" Gym teacher: "Get in." he gets in, they drive off at the end of the block they run a red light
Eli Gray
also, one time a jock puts him in one of those industrial dumpsters and he won't get out because he's enjoying his fun there and he drives a car called the "O-Shit, Nigger! Mobile"
Luke Turner
somebody fucked with edgy girls car and they're getting chased and he's clinging to the bottom welding it so it doesn't fall apart
Connor Russell
Pretty funny, kek'd audibly.
Cameron Watson
also, when in hs he makes his body stiffly straight and the janitor is going in and out of classes that are in session, the janitor is holding him upside down using him as a mop. the janitor's like "all dun" and he's like "let me c" and he inspects all the floor of the whole school and when he's satisfied he raises his arms in triumph and exclaims "I'm king of the school!"
Carter Brooks
Oh Christ the cringe is so bad I feel ill. Physically ill. Stop it. Just stop it right now. Go summer somewhere else.
Nathan Price
Holy fuck this movie SUCKS. PLEASE STOP!!!!
Colton Rodriguez
Bit autobiographic innit?
Mason Lee
whatever. I like it. a LOT. I'll make it one day. a great producer/director doesnt make what he makes because of the opinions of others. haha nah. im not 16. I just think this kind of character would be super fun to write and flesh out.
Sebastian Richardson
>a great producer/director doesnt make what he makes because of the opinions of others. Actually yeah they do, if you don't make what people want to see then no one buys tickets you fucking moron.
lmfao OP where you just daydreaming this scenario today?
Nathan Long
nope. a great producer makes what he wants and if people buy tickets or not it doesn't matter. he made something he likes.
Xavier James
Then you wind up with no funding, throwing your own money away on shitty low budget garbage no one watches and never become famous or recognized, retard.
Austin Brooks
it doesn't matter. to a real artist, anyway. not to sound pretentious. making something I'm passionate about is all that matters. plus just Lmfao at Taking advice from some dickhead loser who gets off on putting people down on the Internet.
Isaac Bailey
Ok bud go become a "real artist" pan handling on the street to survive.
Sebastian Reyes
>it doesn't matter if i throw away all of my own money enjoy being homeless retard
you're both dumb and this is my last reply to you dumbasses about this.what are u upset your opinions have no value to me lmao
I'd obviously save up money to make it
Logan Richardson
Oh no please respond to me again I just can't survive without those pretentious underage (You)s.
Lucas Morales
It's rare I see such masterful bait.
Andrew Clark
>save up money >could buy a nice car or boat or nicer house or take a vacation to italy >no >ill spend it on making a movie nobody will watch
Jack Sanchez
Hmmm... not bad. But I think the edgy man should be a little more cool. He should wear a sweater with his hoodie on all the time and hands in his pockets. When he talks with people he looks to the ground so they would know he doesn't give a fuck about them.
Landon Williams
bumparooo origndilguhfy
Camden Jones
dude that's really fucking good. a nice touch. I'll add that into it.
Joseph Lewis
I would rather get anal and nose cancer than see a trailer for this movie
his dad should be an edgelord who, while he's in highschool, keeps saying "forget about highschool" and then is like "you're gonna miss your bus to school"
