Poetry thread

Does anyone here into poetry?
Here's one I just wrote but am not keeping:
>top to bottom
>dark as hair
>no matter where I look
>can't find this shit anywhere
>man this writer's block is heavy

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dark as hair

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That's why I'm not keeping it. it sucks

i wrote this in the car today its pretty shit but its all i have on me at the moment

>The words align on the page.
>A perfect mix of fear and rage.
>The assonace assimilates the intent.
>While the consance conveys the emotion.

>The pen prematutely stops its motion.
>Leaving the verse hollow and unfinished.
>Scores of lines cover the page.
>Yet none of them free the verse from its cage.

>The pen hovers over the page.
>Clawing at the air.
>Looking for something drive it near.
>Yet the plan falls to the table and on the table it stays.

>The owner of the pen anguishes for days.
>Yet he never picks the pen up.
>It lies on the table.
>A testament to the thought that once occured.

Here is one I made

I am king of all despair
Bow down, bow down
Your ill fate belongs to me yet it is you who wears my crown
And we shall walk this earth as one, and if we live to see tomorrow
I will cover you with gold and you shall shower me with sorrow
Do you see, you ought to see
That all those who pray to me
Become endowed with many manners of noble philosophy
Yet it it you who wears my crown and it is you who dons my gown
And if you wish to see tomorrow:
Bow down, bow down.

Great Concept bad prose
Great prose bad concept

Despair-user here, thx for feedback. Here is another one im working on, it isnt finished yet which youll find out rather jarringly

There was a boy named Danny Death
A quite eccentric child,
With a wardrobe all of black and blue and a temperament oh so mild.
Most children would play hide and seek
But Danny Death preferred to merely hide -
From troubles and from glees alike
He'd shy his head and hide,
Yes he'd shy his head and hide,
But this all changed the day he met
The lovely Sue I. Cide.

Sue wore a skirt of ebony,
Had long, dark auburn hair.
She carried round a little purse with nary a worldly care.
And Danny Death, yes he was smitten with this mysterious young lass
So he scribbled on a little note
A memo to the lass,
Yes, a memo to the lass,
Which read, in shoddy, inky script,
Please meet me after class.

The clock struck three and school was out
And Danny stood on by,
Counting pulses in his little heart and twitches in his eye.
And Sue came through the hallway and she

Any tips on how to improve the prose

>traps, thots, and lonely robots
>this is what populates r9k
>braps, cocks, and normies know not
>of the horrors that fester and plague
made this rn

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You're really good at this but why are these so cartoonishly edgy?
I struggle with prose too so not really
I like this a lot. Not even kidding

desu i just sort of threw that together when i had was struggling finding the right words for a different poem

>why are these so cartoonishly edgy?

Good question. With the first one it was supposed to be kind of bleak, and with the second one I was going more for a Tim Burton kind of vibe. If it helps, here is a rap I wrote which is a bit less edgy.

First heir to a millionaire
Got a staff autographed by the Bernstein bears
It can travel through dimensions and every one I see
Has a VIP lounge reserved for Marley and Me
I am great but not the greatest
That would be my dad
Fought the Second World War alongside sir Galahad
Was knighted to king
And became indighted with bling
And now we walk this earth together like we lord of the ring

I like it. It reads like it syncs well with the fresh prince of bel air

I consider myself to be an okay poet.

An earth-sweet, fuschia, musty scent comes/
Light upon the air/
As inhale, I'm shocked to find/
My nose pressed to your hair/
I find myself drawn to the place/
That sings your siren smell/
As chocolate-pink recalls the face/
The form I kissed and held/
Once vivid, faint, familiar breath fades, pale, into the blue/
As dreams of love dissolve to death/
And memories of you

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Thanks user! Holy shit it does

best
second best

Taking all non-shit requests for Shakespearean Sonnets. If it's a really good topic, I'll do an EAP-style pseudo-acrostic-except-it's-diagonal-type-thing 'hidden message'

Thanks. I have tons of these. I've considered just publishing all the poems I have in my journals, but I'm embarrassed to show them to anybody and I'm not sure they aren't just garbage. Here's another:

I love you for your silly face/
That so resembles mine/
And all the light and music there/
And how your laughter shines

The sister-blood that beats the heart/
So close and dear to me/
Bears echoes of those loved and lost/
Resounds with family

The ugly face within the glass/
Bears beauty-Now I see
Reflected there our smile at last/
For I love you in me.
--------------------------------------------------

I dreamed the wandering wastes again/
And walked my weary way/
Through deserts long bereft of life/
And still and silent sands

I found myself alone there then/
The rocks had naught to say/
The atmosphere was tense and rife
With echoing commands

And as the world began to fade/
I chased her siren flash/
And with the light was all unmade-
My mission turned to ash

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>days go by faster
>the more I come home plastered
>drinking away sadness
>is the only thing Ive mastered
dont know why I have edgy stuff on my mind rn but I do

Jow Forums is the place for it. Most of these are pure edge.

ive learned a thing from someone that tried to help fix my writers block. Write nonsense, and dont stop. a full page of bullshit and wait until something useful comes out.

I dont feel like sharing my poetry at the moment, but im lurking. dont worry i respect all your copywrites

Here is a haiku

Asshole opens wide
A turd falls into the bowl- plop!
As I use my phone

>F5 F5 F5
>where the fuck is my porn?
>F5 F5 F5
>I beg, user, please give me more
I think this sums up /b/ these days, but I left a couple years ago so idk

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>tfw too depressed to write poetry (even though all the greatest poets were fucking depressed as shit), even though it's the only thing I'm remotely good at

my suggestion, become more depressed. it should help your writing skills.

I was more thinking along the lines of drugs, like all of the Romantics :^)

Last one if nobody's interested.

Garden-Goddess turning there/
Before a heathen fire/
Her tambourine and tangled hair/
Seduction and desire

We would condemn our own Redemption/
While in the Woman's womb/
But angels granted Her exemption/
From fornicator's tombs

Sin's stains, then, would not be erased/
And all souls would be damned/
Had His conception been so base/
As you are and I Am.

Maid, Madonna, Wizened One/
Eve in ages, faces three/
Triple Goddess, worshiped well
Virgin-Mother Trinity

Where, within that Paradox?
Is Lilith?-or is she denied?-
The Whore, her aspect sat astride
A Man brought low by sleep?

Gyrating, grinding, in the dust
From which we all were fashioned
Her hips reminding Man by lust
That he has earthly passions

And far beneath her halo's light
Burns primal, sacred fire
The carnal blood that stains the white
With animal desire

How he exalts Her undefiled
Remains a mystery
All chaste and pure and still with child
In holy Unity

The act denied and damned to dreams
And echoed moans no more
A man sees three in Eve for four--
His Mother is no whore!

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drugs or alcohol buddy. its the only way.

Fuck it, this thread is dead, and it doesn't look like a resurrection is coming any time soon. I'll write a poem for ya real quick. I'm in like 5 other threads, so it may take a while, though, so I apologize in advance for that

also, janny tried/is trying to ban me, otherwise I would've posted this, well, about 15 minutes ago

Please take me away from this sober hell.
I entreat you - take pity on my soul.
Is not there a mite of pain I may quell?
All one must do to help: find a loophole.

This raucous land is more than I can bear.
I must indeed find a means of escape.
Within someplace from my last hope - a prayer,
I sense a vile plan come into shape.

I see that deposing Him is the way.
For who else but He could inflict such pain?
Fight now, all tortured souls; enter the fray!
You have nothing to lose, but all to gain!

Peering across the war from upon high,
I question Man's hubris and watch God die.

--------------

So, the whole theme of sobriety and drugs kind of got away from me there lmao, my bad. I was too focused on hiding my super sekrit message in the poem. Anyway, lemme know any thoughts that you guys have on it. I literally /just/ wrote it, so please keep that in mind when evaluating its coefficient of shittiness.

dont die on me now give me a minute ill think of something too

Roses are red
With OP I hold a gripe
I fucking hate poetry
Most of it is tripe.

No stress, user. The thread's back to page 1 now, so you can keep working on your masterpiece! :3

These are great. I really like your prose and the Tim Burton edginess of the second one

Take you home tonight bitch
Like it or not
Better ignore the fucking powder
I just put in your shot

Or you could spend the day with me
I'll make your face a human bathroom
Those pretty lips all on my dick
Feel much better then my vacuum

Now go back to Tumblr
Cause rape jokes are funny
Whore please shut the fuck up
Get naked for money

Cause I got some lines of white girl
And a couple piss brews
Bet we have a lot in common
Starting with our daddy issues

mine used to go and tell me
To See the brighter side of things
But then he went and had to od
With a needle in his veins

And since then my life's been fucked
Work a 9 to 5 it sucks
But I wanna be just like him
So I keep on doin drugs

>I went for a sandwich
>but instead made two
>I then fed the cat
>and retired to my room
This is my magnum opus.

When I got the feels, I gotta let em out

>Men no longer considered human, living on a outcast planet that's no longer considered a planet.
>We stare, from the cold hadean distance, Persephone and the rest of the planets, laugh and dance in the blinding sun and each other's warmth.
>Even the smallest of pity warmth burns and aches, yet we no matter how far we go, we never really leave.
>We men of Pluto, pulled in, but never accepted, rule the empty kingdom, filled with a starfield of cold lights and noises.
>We men of Pluto, gaze outward and downward, but never forward, lest the sudden reminder of our eternity crush us yet again.
>Still, if the only way to warmth is to cheat and steal, then let us be lonely forever.

nice man, proud of you user

Thanks, but I can already see some room for improvement.
>We men of Pluto, if we are want for nothing, then aren't we rich?

ded thred
too bad, too
'cause poetry's breddy cool