>roomate just came home, can hear his keys jingling
WHAT THE FUCK what do i do I moved out to not deal with people now I have a fucking room mate????
HES OPENING THE DOOR SOMEONE HELP WHAT DO I TELL HIM
Roomate just came home, can hear his keys jingling
Michael Cook
Connor Ross
just calmly tell him that you want to keep your distance and if they just moved in then make sure you can establish ground rules for behavior
Justin Rivera
okay cool user nice move.
But instead of doing that I decided to hide in my room but heres the problem...
I FUCKING DRANK A LOT OF ACLHOL NOW I HAVE TO PEE. HOW THE FUCK DO I DO THIS WITHOUT GETTING CAUGHT
Robert Thomas
Just say hi
He's not your mom and he probably won't bother you or be all in your shit
Liam Bell
Pissbottles exist for a reason
Dump a waterbottle out your window and piss in it, then throw it out later
Nolan Gonzalez
He doesn't care if you pee
You don't have to worry about getting caught
Jesus how crazy were your parents? Why are you worried about people knowing you drink and pee? Those are normal things.
Christopher Jones
>he probably won't bother you
well user I wish you were correct.. but, you se...
I dont bathe regularly, okay? So he THINKS my room doesnt smell good (its actually fine), so we have beef
I AM IN MY ROOM BUT HAVE TO PISS
>alcohol blocks vasopressin, therefore you have to piss
What the fuck am I going to do? I am ***LITERALLYSHAKING*** cuz of how bad I have to piss, but hes right outsdie????
Logan Young
>Why are you worried about people knowing you drink and pee?
user JFC
ITS NOT THAT HE KNOWS I HAVE TO PEE NIGGER.
ITS THAT HE KNOCKED ON THE DOOR EARLIER AND I PRETENDED NOT TO BE HERE (EVEN THOUGH IT WAS LIKE 7PM).
HE THINKS IM NOT HERE BUT I AM! IF I GO OUT TO PEE HE'LL KNOW IM HERE!
Xavier Cox
Why don't you want to take a bath?
Nolan James
Nah just say you were sleeping.
Caleb Moore
Wtf nigger, wash yourself you subhuman. It takes like 10min if you really want to rush it and makes you feel nice afterward. And buy some fabreeze for your room and spray a bit every day and boom, it smells like you just washed all your sheets.
You have only yourself to blame.
Gavin Flores
>So he THINKS my room doesnt smell good (its actually fine)
No, it smells like cancer but you're just used to the cancerous smell so it's no problem. For someone who's used to not smelling like a filthy ape the scent is offensive
Christopher Allen
Uh he obviously knows you're in your room dipshit just tell him you didn't hear him knock if he asks lmao fucking hell
Evan Foster
Tell him you were sleeping
Everyone sleeps. He wont care.
William Morales
what do you know about him, unless hes an asshole he probably wont care too much as long as you keep your filth and bad smell in your own room
Camden Roberts
>It takes like 10min
Are you fucking stupid? Dpnt you know that you need PHEROMONES to attract a mate?
Also it woul take WAY MORE than 10min to clear the appt of this smell, and way LESS than that to attract a m8.
LOL FOUND THE VIRGIN :(((
Nolan Phillips
>Tell him you were sleeping
does this work desu
literally about to piss my pants and hes watching tv.
what should i tell him when I leave the room? its only like 9:30 p here???
Tyler Cox
You were taking a nap dude. It was nap time
Gabriel Butler
You're on Jow Forums, you're not gonna attract a mate. And just look how you're handling this whole roommate situation. If you can't show your face to your roommate, how do you expect you're going to show your face to a girl
Joseph Young
he meant it takes 10 minutes to clean yourself
SHOWER YOU FILTHY HIPPIE
I hope you don't ACTUALLY speak in a way that reflects how you type.
SERIOUSLY THIS ISN'T GOOD BEHAVIOR
also just go talk to your room mate already and use the sleeping excuse and take the advice of
Jason Thompson
this
>oh hey roommateanon, didn't hear you come in, I was taking a nap. I'm user nice to meet you
Samuel Rodriguez
>>oh hey roommateanon, didn't hear you come in, I was taking a nap. I'm user nice to meet you. I know we've been living together for 9 months, and sometimes i havent been around (LIE), but maybe you can show me your best Lolo dojun? Maybe we can get high and jerk off together?
Yall are fucking RETARDS, nigger! Retards!
Angel Gonzalez
maybe you should've mentioned that he didn't just move in and that you've been living together for 9 months RETARD
Bentley Brooks
Can we appreciate that you are hiding in your apartment pretending you aren't home while freaking out on Jow Forums
Joshua Moore
okay user now you know the truth...
now what the FUCK do I do? jfc havent been in a social interaction since 2014 HALP
Alexander Gutierrez
>implying that this isnt a regular occurrence on Jow Forums
kys newfag nigger
Joseph Hughes
good one my brother
Ian Torres
did you not know you'd have a roommate? Why are you surprised?
Connor Clark
just go piss you fucking retard. You don't have to say anything, if he confronts you say you were sleeping or listening to music or some shit
How have you survived on your own this long?
Ayden Watson
>t.attemptednormie
attempt failed
Aaron Smith
>How have you survived on your own this long?
bro my roomie moved in last week, before then I was ALL. ALONE. I cant focuz with this new guy, telling me my room smells like dog, etc. !!!!
Logan Ward
dude calm the fuck down just go out, take a piss, and go back to your room. Don't initiate conversation. If he does tell him you have to piss really bad and if you have a quiet keyboard or you were using your phone to type out this thread say you were sleeping only and I stress this point ONLY if he asks you why you didn't answer your door when he knocked. Idk if you just now turned into a human from being a fucking plant or something but it is a common occurrence that when you wake up from sleep you have to piss.
Nathan Adams
hold the fucking phone...
>> I know we've been living together for 9 months
>> bro my roomie moved in last week, before then I was ALL. ALONE.
Charles Hill
>JUST BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE *more bee noises*
Yourself
Justin Hill
Is this satire? Is it bad that I honestly can't tell?
Wyatt James
Your story is starting to fall apart my dude...
William Mitchell
>OP confirmed NEET larp
jfc, who tf approaches us Thursday night and acts as an obvious (You) farmer
saged nigger
god damn, normies dont get room mates ever
Logan Edwards
or maybe OP is an alcholic who cant write sensical posts? In addition to having to piss, alcohol also makes you a fucking retard who says things that dont make sense...
either way OP just tell roomie you were napping? How is this so hard?
Samuel Mitchell
wow man, you're really fucking stupid if you can't keep a story together that badly
Jeremiah Butler
shut up OP we all know that's you trying to save face
William Ward
heh heh,
okay, I'll "stop posting"
god damn summer is hitting this board hard
Jack Wilson
>save face
>on an anonymous image board
John Turner
no, i'd hate to have a roommate, but he's acting like he didn't know he'd have one in the first place
I live alone and never speak to anybody
Thomas Hughes
you need to blow your roommate
Noah Smith
>you need to blow your roommate
but hes a guy with a penis? u gay wtf???