Apply for 5 different places

>apply for jobs throughout final semester of college
>get one interview, they say it went well
>don't get job
>classmates dumber than me get thr business jobs I want
>guy in a grouo project who slacked and I did a ton of work gets a job I literally applied for as well
>end up getting a bullshit political job that doesn't pay enough to live alone
>moved in with mom
>she's still mad I OD'd on xanax

why bother

Attached: FB_IMG_1530071833836.jpg (625x790, 54K)

You robots need to understand that the easiest way to get a job is through networking.

Maybe if you left your rooms you wouldn't be unemplyed.

>It's not that you get hired
tf does that even mean
>>No resume (or garbage one)
>>No CV (or garbage one)
I submitted both of them when it had the option to, and I went over it again and again to make sure it didn't have any spelling errors, and that it was decent, I had like 4 people look over it just to make sure
>>Probably gave all the autism sperg answers to the questionnaire
not sure how anyone could mess that up, I always tried to make myself look good in those
>>Never or go in person to check up on it
I did that every single time
Is that really how it works? Cuz not only did my step-brother get a job handed to him, but I also have a sister who got a job for the first place she applied for
>Maybe if you left your rooms you wouldn't be unemplyed.
hahahhah fren :DDD
wonberful abvice :DDDDD

In my experience, your brother and sister are lucky.

Sometimes, if you have connection, you can get lucky though. My roommate got a job fairly quickly (maybe his fifth or so?) just because his alma mater happened to be the same as the guy who was hiring him (which to me... seems so stupid, especially because they are alumni of a mediocre state school, but it is what it is).

It seems like you can get a job more easily with a degree, but without a college degree? My only experience has been that you have to work tirelessly.

Hopefully you didn't attempt learning 191 additional languages?

If so, that'd be a good reason to count.

my step-brother and sister don't have a degree

I thought resume and CV were synonymous. Am I a brainlet, or is it different in Europe or something?

Attached: thomas.jpg (255x200, 13K)

If I understand correctly, a CV is supposed to be multiple pages and is supposed to more fully represent your accomplishments, while a resume is just a one-page snapshot of the experience you have which would be relevant to the job.

My advice is to not bother with the CV and just send out a bunch of generic resumes. You just need to get noticed, you don't really have a chance to make a favorable impression until you actually do the interview. So just send resumes to fucking everybody and cross your fingers.

>be picky and only apply to the places I want to work for long-term
>gradually lower my expectations and broaden the places I send resumes to
>send 60+ resumes
>end up getting a callback from the second place I applied to
>get hired for a job I am severely under-qualified for

Luck is an important factor.

Attached: 1466908107706.jpg (400x386, 25K)

Gonna guess SoCal, distant second and third guesses would be Florida or south Texas.

You should never send generic resumes, that's exactly why you would never get responses back. You need to tailor your resume to each application. Trim down irrelevant things and pad it to suit the job more. Most of the time your resume will get less than 10 seconds of viewing time. If the resume passes the skimming phase then your chances for a call are quite big.

Learn how to write proper resumes and find all the other tips online. Sending resumes is a fucking rat race, you have to compete against 100+ people if it's an entry job (Yes even at your shitty McDonald's). Getting minimum wage jobs has become stupidly hard.

if you live in a big city just become a movie extra. pays shit but you can potentially get long hours.

I get what you're saying but the time it takes to tailor a single resume is time that could be spent sending 5 generic resumes out to other companies. If there's a limited quantity of available jobs and if you actually have something to trim then it makes sense to tailor it. But if there's a lot of jobs then I would just throw shit at the wall and see what sticks.

It's not as time consuming as you might expect. Once you get the hang of it you could match the resume to the job in maybe a minute or two. I've done it before and honestly it's a good skill to have.

I never got any calls back and started getting frustrated. So I asked a friend of mine who gets jobs in less than a week. He gave me the advice I just gave you and said that you should always put in the most relevant information at the top so that it keeps the attention of the HR rep who is doing the resume checking.

Did... you at least put in the effort and go say hi to the guy?

They don't even let you do that anymore. If you ask for a job they tell you to leave and apply online.

This. I walked in to see if i could wagecuck at a local restaurant, and they said i have to apply online. It's like everything online now

I'll probably be in the same boat since I've waisted 4 and a half years on a meme degree.

this always gets to me

what do i even put on the resume when i have no work experience? this system is rigged

Attached: 6005-Che-Guevara-military-beret-hat_1024x1024.jpg (900x750, 69K)

yea man you have to grind it out just for some shitty fast food wagie

Attached: dxc.jpg (601x508, 94K)

>have actually diagnosed schizophrenia
>psychiatrist doesn't want to sign the disability papers for me for NEETbux, insists I should get a job
>stupid boomer parents think I should ask my brother to get me a job at the fortune 100 company he works for, saying I'd be able to work there no problem
>all the being an actual schizophrenic lobotomite, being three or four bad away from hallucinating, everybody realistically expects me to work
>haven't been in work or in school since 2010
the demiurge is real

you put your education and volunteer work, and all the awards you got on your schools sports team

leave your psychiatrist. and talk to a social worker. its not in your psychiatrists best interest to let you collect disability because its his job to fix you with drugs

Replace the experience section with a skills section. Just put any skill you have and make up stuff if you have to.

it's because they have algorithms to analyse and weed out the 5 acceptable resumes out of the 200 shitty ones

My first application worked. It's retail, but pay is above minimum wage by a few dollars. Stay mad

He said INTRODUCE YOURSELF for a reason retard. He knows the guy and if you tell him your name you will get the job.

I don't suppose "Cooperative and willingness to learn" would count as a skill? I just graduated hs so dont really have much experience in anything

Attached: 38e.jpg (659x525, 38K)

>applied somewhere 2 weeks ago
>reached out to me out of the blue in an email asking for questions implying they were interested
>havent heard anything in 2 days

fucking PLEASE RESPOND

Attached: 1508451343615.png (808x805, 516K)

Graduated high school? You're pretty much fucked, you need to do some manual labour like painting fences or some shit. Also where I live at least there are lots of summer programs to work in a park and mow the grass and shit, you could try that.

If you graduated college you should have skills to put on there though

oh didn't see the hs. so yeah look for some temporary summer jobs or something, that shouldn't be too hard. My first job was doing some yardwork for some dog daycare. Look for stuff like that

bah

the only people hiring near me that I have a chance with is some jewish marketing comp that sells knives door to door.

What the fuck do i put on a resume if I'm a neet

>drop out of PhD program
>never bother changing LinkedIn profile
>roastie recruiters start messaging me by the dozens because if I stayed in the phd program I would have graduated this month
oh what could have been

i hope Bernie Sanders wins one day and he passes the program where everyone will have a job if they want it

Are cover letters necessary for entry-level? For an office job, I understand. But a cafe?
Why do all schizos talk about the demiurge, or is it just a joke?

literally just make shit up, they're not gonna look into it for low level jobs

Go out and do some volunteer work. Try not to look angry and people will warm to you. Then use either the connections from volunteering to get a paid job or use it to pad out your resume.

Not memeing.

Anyone who isn't a boomer, knows that you're not just supposed to walk in somewhere without applying online first

Cover letters are for smug faggots who try to claim every accolade they've ever done, like being president of a club theyve started in which they're the only member, or giving toast to a homless person, just really REALLY faggy fucking shit. Imagine that kid you hated in highschool because he wore a turtleneck, or a vest and tie to school every single fucking day, telling you that you're ruining school for him by not taking things seriously enough.

That faggot makes a cover letter. Secure men who are confident in their character don't need to bring up every minor accomplishment they've ever done to show how great they are at sucking cock in the workforce. If a job is favoring that behavior, you don't want to work there.

Hope this helps, op. If not then well, fuck you. Who gives a shit.

Nobody asks to see your degree, user

>mowed lawn when i was 15
>put i did landscaping for 5 years on resume

just embellish the truth slightly :^)

the system is rigged anyways they can fuck themselves

dont bother. Go enlist in a military branch instead. Thank me later

Attached: 1518231832538.gif (270x270, 689K)

>relevant degree from a decent school
>several years experience in a trade
>can fake charisma long enough to interview
>apply to every similar position in the state
>every single one
>get nothing, not even an automated rejection email
Why are online applications even a thing when they clearly don't work?

This is the gayest shit
Fuck volunteering, what am I a fucking charity?

Agreed. I think it's possible to overdo a resume.

true. but in all likelihood I wouldn't get passed the first round of technical interviews. I pretty much forgot everything I knew (except for computer programming, I'm still pretty good at that)

this is how it is. You need years of experience and connections to work at even mc donalds these days

Resume is easy. It is not illegal to lie.

I'm going to help you robots out...it's really easy. Just claim to be Hispanic. Especially if you're applying to white collar positions. They will fight to hire you and you will pick and choose what you want.

No, you're a fucking loser who has never had a job so now you are signalling to everyone that you're a lazy piece of shit. So since they won't give you a job you need to take it on the chin and work for free to change the perception that you are a piece of shit.

My pale skin, green eyes, and tall stature aren't going to help with that

the diversity quota is a meme. I'm black and do not even get calls back from anywhere

>Why do all schizos talk about the demiurge, or is it just a joke?
we are his most obvious victims, and the most intimately acquainted with his boundless cruelty

Yeah stuff like that is fine. Throw in any corporate buzzwords because they love eating it up.

There are Hispanics who look like that user.

why, so he can prove he's a good slave to some management cuck? Fuck you, don't tell him to waste his fucking time like that.

Lie on your resume OP. Unironically write that you landed the plane in the Hudson River.

>Lie on your resume OP
honesty you should do this if you're having trouble getting a job

you'd think hiring managers extensively check your background but they actually don't. the only background check they do is criminal history. but work history, education history, references...not only can you lie through your teeth, they don't even bother validating it most of the time

yeah entry level positions will only check for crimes and drugs. they get so many applications usually that checking in-depth like that is a waste of time.

My top reference was my second phone number and in 10 years, nobody has ever called.

there's no point in getting a job

everything either works you to the bone and pays you nothing or is a only okay paying white collar job with a high barrier to entry that is very competitive

i told my parents this and they agree, they're cool with me being a neet (also I have bad aspergers too so that's probably why they are indifferent to me working, when they die everyone knows I'll live in a tard house, everyone knows where I'm headed)

fastcompany.com/3069166/i-built-a-bot-to-apply-to-thousands-of-jobs-at-once-heres-what-i-learned

>pay $4000 in rent every month
>literally everyone in your area does the same thing as you
>robots filter your resume directly into the garbage unless you know someone
>work will eventually just be farmed out to pajeets and robots anyways

i think going into tech is a bad idea

I wish my parents were as understanding

My mom was telling me about studio apartments that I could get after I land a job... this is the life you want for your son? One of pure unfulfilled mediocrity being a wage slave in a tiny apartment?
If I was going to have any success in life, I'd have found it years ago. Suicide is looking like a better option daily.

>Just write a resume, bro!

Immediately spotted the normalfag. What should I put on my resume? Tens of thousands of hours video games experience? Earning all of the achievements? Masturbates 6 times a day? Haven't spoken to a human being who wasn't my mother in 6 years (you think I'm joking because you're a normalfag who can't comprehend true strife). Go ahead, tell me what to write. I'll wait patiently.

meh...for what it's worth I'd love to be able to get a job and live in a comfy understated apartment of my own. doesn't seem too bad. every once in a while I'd get drunk and fugg some prostitutes or something. too bad I'm unemployable.

there are worse fates in life user.

>roof
>food
>games

>strife

Holy shit this is word for word what I am experiencing right now

Attached: 4B82CBD7-10BF-4E3C-9D97-C6DFE29A0AAB.jpg (253x326, 49K)

>Applied for a shitty temp job asking for slightly above minimum wage
>saw how desperatly they need employees
>asked for a increase together with new colleagues
>got 50% more money
downside is that I work like a horse

Attached: HorribleSubs_Sword_Art_Online_Alternative_Gun_Gale_Online_06_720p.mkv_snapshot_00.31_2018.05.19_14.4 (1280x720, 43K)