AAAAAHHHHHHHHH

BEEN 5 DAYS SINCE I TOOK A SHIT
I CAN'T FUCKING SHIT
I LITERALLY BINGED 2 DAYS IN A ROW
AND SHIT STILL NOT COMING OUT

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buy some laxatives you fucking brainlet

charcoal works if you're a poorfag.

Have you been eating any fruit or veggies?

eat an m80, that'll clear you out

I'm cutting at like 1900 calories and I force myself to eat like 2 lbs of salad with every meal. My stomach is full but my intestines are empty or something

take 3 magnesium supplement pills at once

Are you drinking water? Fiber needs water to work

Sounds like you need a cuppa

2 cups of coffee and 1 cup of coca cola.

Listen to me, kid. I know what i am talking about.

Drink some sugar water

This. Caffeine is laxative. The coke isn't necessary tough.

This is why I come to Jow Forums.

Lmao, Jesus. Give yourself an enema, dummy.

Did anyone else get those "poopy balls" when they were a kid? I miss those.

Smoke a cig.

>Did anyone else get those "poopy balls" when they were a kid? I miss those.

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Try a month
Then months
You literally cannot walk because of shitting pains, and if you do walk more than a kilometer, your body literally pushed the shit out. Like the size of a bowling ball. And it's solid like a rock

>once went almost a month without a shit
>when it came out I screeched so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye

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you speaking from experience ??

Doctor. NOW.
You could die rather suddenly from this.

Holy shit nigger how do you go a month without taking a shit?

>take shit
>it feels like your asshole is being torn apart and you're going to die
>inspect bowl and there's a little gumball turd in there.

>take shit
>it feels like nothing is happening, only know shit is concluded by water splashing on ass
>inspect bowl and there's two wrist thick, forearm long logs in there.

What did my brapcannon mean by this?

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What the fuck are you on about?

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Caffeine plus cigarette will unclog you real quick.

Caffeine is not a laxative, warm water ist.

OP you don't drink enough water.

Fucking casualfags ITT. I regularly go 2-3 weeks with only one shit.
>one weird trick

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