Enter homegym

>enter home gym
>”hi babe, I missed you! What are you working out today? Let’s cuddle after, k?”
>take off vr goggles and sob quietly into my hands

GET NOIDED

When you come out your shit is gone
When you come out your shit is gone
When you come out your shit is gone
When you come out your shit is gone
When you come out your shit is gone

>Enter homegym
>AWOOOOOOOOOOO 56709 AWOOOOOOOOOOOO

What a good time to be alive.

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Why won't they make the money store two lads

I used to because my basement leads right to the woods from the back doors, so assumed pretty much nobody will ever go there, until a couple hiking who i can only assume got lost (there are a lot of trails nearby in the woods) and saw me doing ATG squats naked with my ass at a straight on angle through the glass door. I heard a lot of rustling when I finished my set and saw them both power walking back through the woods the other way.

>enter hospital gym
>HE COME TO ME WITH MONEY IN HIS HAND HE OFFERED ME I DIDN'T ASK HIM I WASN'T KNOCKING SOMEONE'S DOOR DOWN I WAS RUNNIN FROM THAT WHEN I GOT OUT I WAS IN THAT I WAS ALREADY THROUGH THAT I HAD THAT I HAD THE STUDIO I WENT TO THE STUDIOS WENT TO FOX STUDIOS I HAD IT ALL I LOOKED AROUND AND SAID THIS IS A BIGGER JAIL THAN I JUST GOT OUT OF I DIDN'T WANNA TAKE MY TIME GOIN TO WORK I GOT A MOTORCYCLE AND A SLEEPING BAG AND 10 OR 15 GIRLS WHAT THE HELL I WANNA GO OFF AND GO TO WORK FOR WORK FOR WHAT MONEY I GOT ALL THE MONEY IN THE WORLD I'M THE KING MAN I RUN THE UNDERWORLD GUY I DECIDE WHO DOES WHAT AND WHERE THEY DO IT AT WHAT AM I GONNA RUN AROUND AND ACT LIKE SOME TEENY BOPPER OUT THERE FOR SOMEBODY ELSE'S MONEY I MAKE THE MONEY MAN I ROLL THE NICKELS THE GAME IS MINE I DEAL THE CARDS
Love putting this shit on the stereo system and watching people get uncomfortable

Me

Nice

Fucking Jow Forums you made me look up this song a month ago and now I unironically like it. My best friend laughs and calls me a retard.

TRIPLE SIX FIVE FORKED TONGUE

>go into home gym

>mommy is using a yoga mat in the middle of my lifting arena while playing her celine dion cd

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underrated post tbqh

Sub-atomic penetration rapid fire through your skull.

Why didn't shrek do this?

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>go down to homegym dungeon
>start pumpin
>"OHH YEAH I'M GONAN FUCKIN' KILLL YOOOU, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, BREAK THAT DICK OFF IN YOUR FILTHY, FUCKING, ASS, HOLE, MURDER YOUR MOTHER YOU FUCKING BITCH CUNT GONNA LAY THEM BRICKS UP IN THAT BUTTCHEEK BLASTHOLE FUCKIN' KILLLL YOOOOOU"

Then I start hitting the bag

This shit made me laugh out loud--thanks bro!

I repeat myself when under stress I repeat myself when under stress I repeat myself when under stress I repeat myself when under stress I repeat myself when under stress

>enter homegym
>WRIGGLE LIKE A FUCKING EEL

The gym is the only place I socialize so a home gym sounds miserable

Congratulations on not being ugly.

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>enter home gym
>WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BE SUCH A BITCH MOMMY-I AM GOOD BOY-WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK OFF AND DIE-HERE IT COMES

>enter home gym
>AY PIERRE YOU WANNA COME OUT HERE?

>enter home gym
>big 14 kno what tha fuck goin' on..
>YEEEAAAAAHHHHH

>walk into hell

>”BUSTAS THEY APPROACH, THEY DONT KNOW ME TOO WELL, I LOAD THE 12GAUGE PUMP WITH THE SHOTGUN SHELLS”

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HALF LIDED

>enter home gym
>turn 360 degrees and walk away

>enter south town

BEWAAAAARE GOD IS WATCHIN- WATCHIN- WATCHIN- WATCHIN-

>enter home gym
>YOU SAID WE DIE ALONE IN THIS CASE YOU WERE RIGHT NO FRIENDS BY YOUR SIDE OR FAMILY IN SIGHT

>Enter home gym
>BANG
>BANG
>BANG
>PULL MY DEVIL TRIGGER

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>enter homegym
AY YAI-YAI-YAI-YAI [dubstep]

>wake up in homegym

>enter homegym
>FOR THE KING, FOR THE LAND FOR THE MOUNTAINS, FOR THE GREEN VALLEYS WHERE DRAGONS FLY

>enter homegym
>oh new album?
>I AM ALL EYES
>I AM ALL EARS
>I AM THE WALL
>and I'm watching you fall
>because the FAITH IS MINE

>I SPREAD DISEASE LIKE A DOOG DISCHARGE MY PAYLOOOOAD A MILE HIGH ROTTEN EGG AIR OF DEATH WRESTLIMG YOUR NOSTRILSSS
Also
>THEY KILLLEDDD MY WIFE AND MY WIFES SON

they did, it's called bottomless pit

>enter homegym
>I CUM BLOOD FROM MY ERECTION
>I FEEL IT RUN
>DOWN HER THROAT, SWALLOW
>EYES GLASSY AND VACANT
>BODY DUG UP TO PLAY WITH
>SKIN GREASY AND NAKED
>TOUNGING HER ROTTEN ANUS

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m.youtube.com/watch?v=CrbaPi5J0Eg

>enter homegym
>AND IN MY DREAMS YOU'RE ALIVE AND YOU'RE CRYYYYYYYING

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>homegym
>music on full blast
>only got boxers on
>feel the iron touch....CONNECT with my body
>get on the bench
>roar like a starving lion with autism
>crush that PR

Fuck public gyms. Never again.

>enter homegym
>son keeps trying to touch the weights as I go down and I keep screaming to tell him to sit down on the couch
>daughter every rep says daddy you stronger
>see kids trying to pick up dumbbells when I'm not looking going to end up with broken toes or feet

>Enter homegym
>Start doing barbell squats
>plug falls out
Oopsie :^)

>Enter home
>WELL ITS ABOUT DAMN TIME YOU CAME HOME
>WHILE YOU WERE OUT WASTING TIME LIFTING WEIGHTS OUR 7 DOGS AND 3 CATS SHIT AND PISS ALL OVER THE KITCHEN AND YOU GET TO CLEAN IT UP
>AFTER THAT YOU GET TO RUB MY FEET BECAUSE I HAD A LONG HARD DAY AT WORK AND IF YOU COMPLAIN ABOUT YOUR DAY I'M GONNA BITCH AND MOAN ABOUT IT

I really need to move out.

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The more I think about it, the more I like it
I do think it's good!

>enter home gym
>do bodyweight routine

user i entered my homegym and played this today gtfo

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mein neggar

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That riff tho.
I thought I wont like this album because Dance Macarbe single wasnt that great but It grew on me and its catchy af.
See the Light is great lyrically but doesnt have enough energy for lifting.

Faith is probably the heaviest riff they have so far. Which is why I hate when they announce Mummy Dust as "some real heavy shit" when they play it life, but then again I saw them before the album dropped so.

Also I liked Dance Macabre but it's not a lifting song. Also like Pro Memoria, I'm not sure why so many people seem to hate it.

>enter home gym

Amon amarth and dethklok
Fuck you im not writing the lyrics

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MUSTA
KRAKISH
MUSTA
KRAKISH
THE TIME HAS COME
TO AWAKEN HIM
*skip*
THROUGH THE GATES OF HELL
AS WE MAKE OUR WAY TO HEAVEN
THROUGH THE NAZI LINES

you're welcome user

MURMAIDER
MURMAIDER
MURMAIDER
MURMAIDER
MURMAIDER
MURMAIDER

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>walk into anabolic time chamber
>MY SKIN IS COLD
AAAAAAAAAAARRGH LET'S GET FUCKING BIG GODDAMMIT!

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>enter gym
>I'm an angel with a shotgun fighting til the wars won even though heaven won't take me back

>WHEN
>THE
>MOON
>HITS YOUR EYE
>LIKE
>A BIG
>PIZZA PIE
>THATS A GUILLOTINE!
>HYUH

in hopes to make me a soiboi

My mom unironically does this, she likes to hang off my pull-up bar and swing around

>enter uni gym
>headphones on immediately bc listening to other people talk while lifting annoys the shit out of me
>FUCK IT ALL. FUCK THIS WORLD. FUCK EVERYTHING THAT YOU STAND FOR.
eh. I'm broke so this is life for 2 more years.

>drive to gym

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>enter gym
>ALFA ALFA ALFA BETO A U A U A U A

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>enter homegym
>let my nuts hang

YUH

>Enter Jim
>"No homo"

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>enter garage gym
>OTWORZEEEEEE CI SERCEEEEEEE

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>enter home gym
>ALL I NEED IS THIS CITY AND THIS MIND AND I WILL GET BY
>FUCK SLEEP
>FUCK ALL OF YOOOOOUUUUU

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>enter home gym
>LORD SHINE YOUR LIGHT ON ME SAVE ME PLEASE

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what did he mean by this?

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> Enter gym
> HEYYYYYY, HEY BABY, OOH AHH, I WANNA KNOWWWWW IF YOU'LL BE MY GIRL

>NA PAMIĄTKE BYŁES ZE MNĄ NIE OD WCZORAJ ODPOWIEDNIA JEST JUŻ PORA BY ZASPIEWAĆ MORDO STO LAT

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>Enter parkgym
>WEEEEEEEEEEEELL

>Walk up to gym door
>Someone else opens door
>can't decide if I want to go in or out

>mfw I am a cat

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nice

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>Enter Church of Iron
>Ave Maria
>Gratia Plena
>Dominus Tecum
>Benedicta Tu

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Sabaton isn’t Amon Amarth, user

>enter retirement home
>HUMANITY WILL BLEED, UNDER MY HATEFUL WRATH, WEEPING AS I CRUSH YOUR SPECIES. SUCH A MALIGNANAT REIGN WILL BE REMOVED FROM HISTORY, PURGED FROM THE EARTH EXTINCTION OF MAN.

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>enter homegym
>VIOLENT BURSTS OF RAPE INDUCED FRENZY, ANOTHER DIES BY THESE HANDS OF MINE
>I FEEL SICK! OF THESE USELESS LUMPS OF FLESH THAT STAIN MY EYES

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Got me good

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>walk into uni gym

>Then the 189
>In the service of heaven
>They're protecting the holy line
>It was 1527, gave their lives on the steps to heaven
>Thy will be done!

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>enter home gym
>THAT'S WHERE THOSE TRUCKERS GENERATE THEIR
>BACKBONE, BACKBONE, BACKBONE, BACKBONE
>SHE'S HOLDING MY HAND WHILE I PISS IN MY FACE
>MM
>MM
>IF I KEEP TALKING I'LL SEAL MY DISGRACE

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>RP RP A A A IA IA IA

>enter homegym
>TV show or podcast starts playing
Nice

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YOU'RE GONNA FLY HIGH, YOU'RE NEVER GONNA DIE YOU'RE GONNA MAKE IT IF YOU TRY THEY'RE GONNA LOVE YOU

>Enter home gym
>COME, THOU SANCTIFIER, ALMIGHTY AND ETERNAL GOD!
>AND BLESS THIS SACRIFICE PREPARED FOR THY HOLY NAME!

Holy fuck, that pump.

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>enter homegym
>IN THE NAME OF GOD
>IN THE NAME OF GOD
>IN THE NAME OF GOD WE GO TO HEAAAAAVEN

Dude, I pretty much know Madonnas Immaculate Collection album by heart because my mom would always workout to it.

>And when the samba played
>The sun would set so high
>Ring through my ears and sting my eyes
>Your Spanish lullaby

>walk out to yard-time gym

>CAN'T BE TOUCHED CAN'T BE STOPPED CAN'T BE MOVED CAN'T BE ROCKED CAN'T BE SHOOK
>WE HOT
>WHEN WILL YOU MANLETS LEARN?

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