>"why every time someone talks about zombies, the next word out of their mouth is apocalypse? why the fuck do we make the massive assumption that zombies are just total assholes who want to eat us literally alive lmfao? I dont get it theres literally a show---- walking dead that showcases that shit. we just make the massive assumption--- its insane. what if zombies just want to come up and share a bag of hot cheetos with us lmao? fuckin have some tea and crumpets with us? what if zombies are just fuckin chill cunts? that'd throw us for a fuckin loop."
"why every time someone talks about zombies, the next word out of their mouth is apocalypse...
James Reyes
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Elijah Walker
Are you retarded? Dead people that chase people that are alive is the definition of what a zombie is.
Daniel Baker
God this is fucking cancerous, cursed post. Go fuck yourself OP.
LMAO ZOMBIES DUDE, LMAO
what are you, 14?
Daniel Hernandez
we already are the zombies
Christian Stewart
Why would a person who was reanimated after death want to eat brains anyway?
Jason Howard
yeah nah kid
originally
Cooper Lewis
chill the fuck out. I do stand up, I make fun of things for fun. get off my case.
maybe its what they eat in the after life and they got used to it
Benjamin Parker
I can be wrong, but OP is still retarded
Austin Diaz
how am I retarded lol that shit is great
Jacob Miller
While you're hopelessly wrong, any event of corpses getting up and biting people to spread their disease will be easily stopped long before it reaches apocalyptic levels. It won't take long to realize only strikes to the head will kill it, and it won't matter much if the military just magdumps their legs. If they aren't moving, then they can be cleaned up later.
In countries like America, where the amount of guns outnumber the population, people will be lining up to shoot at what few zombies there are.
Even in the worst-case scenario, the military will just walk off whatever city it started in and deal with it from there.
No, apocalypse is the wrong word when talking about zombies. The correct word is disappointment.
Isaiah Ortiz
*wall off, forgive my sleep deprivation
Jackson Stewart
>chill the fuck out. I do stand up, I make fun of things for fun. get off my case.
Oh wow and this is your idea of fun? FUCKING ZOMBIES????? Get some work done, you need to put some actual effort, jesus christ i'm actually insulted you'd call that a fucking joke.
John Murphy
LOL pretentious faggot kys I was just being humorous with that passage. nothing more nothing less
its not a joke. I'm not a jokey comedian. I'm like louis ck. I say humorous things within long passages rather than make jokes. i know what I'm doing. ive said things about killing babies and got huge laughs. kill yourself.
Leo Hernandez
the fucking reading comprehension of everyone in this thread is abysmal and shame on anyone that took op seriously
Aaron Sanchez
>its not a joke. I'm not a jokey comedian. I'm like louis ck. I say humorous things within long passages rather than make jokes. i know what I'm doing. ive said things about killing babies and got huge laughs. kill yourself.
I can't believe what I'm reading here. LOUIS CK? lmao, now you're being funny. You americans have the worst sense of humor, herp derp kill babies, lmao what if zombies ate a WEED, how 'bout that DRUMPF huh guys? what if his mom had and ABOURSHEEN???
I hope you get shanked in one of those comedy clubs, you suck, Jesus, i'm being 100% honest. I can't believe you would even post something so fucking ridiculous and gay like all these you've been, you should be ashamed of yourself. "I know what I'm doing" LMFAO, go fuck yourself you little gay bitch.
Louis CK, my god you should be ashamed of yourself, have you no shame? lol.
Parker Mitchell
lmao why are you so mad, this thread was not supposed to be taken seriously
Julian Thomas
I'M LIKE LOUIS CK GUYS, PEOPLE LAUGH OUT LOUDS WHEN I DO MY EEEEBIN ZOMBIE BIT.
Evan Ramirez
KYS
wanna see a part of one of my bits I performed? it fucking killed
Samuel Bailey
I wouldn't object to seeing parts and bits of your skull after you get killed, you massive faggot.
But yeah sure post it, why not, it's not like I'm not just stalling for bed time.
Zachary Gray
shut up faggot liveleak probably scares you to bits.
but nah not gonna post it. never mind. I think I'm hilarious though so thats that. just imagine a zombie eating hot cheetos. LOLOLLLLLOLL
Carson Harris
>but nah not gonna post it. never mind. I think I'm hilarious though
Not only do you have an adolescent sense of humour you're either a lying piece of shit or a gutless sun of a whore whose word is worth jack shit because he's to scared people will be mean to him.
I'm pretty sure you're under 18 too, faggot, go to bed.
Jose Walker
LOL pretentious faggot. you cant see past the surface now can you? a zombie eating hot cheetos may seem adolescent on the surface but if you look deeper its pretty sophisticated in a sense. a zombie (a dead person come alive) eating hot cheetos (a casual snack). that's hilarious. those two things dont go together at all. a sign of a person with a shitty sense of humor is a person who thinks theyre too good to laugh at seemingly stupid things. youre probably a riot at parties
>"that joke is too adolescent for me!"
who cares? laugh or dont laugh. once again who cares. just dont say someone has an "adolescent" sense of humor. it just makes you look like a pretentious boring turd. you should commit suicide honestly
Ryan Brooks
Post the fucking video of all the laughs you got you retarded lowlife, you fucking wuss, you coward cumbreath, c'mon what the fuck are you even doing explaining your retarded potheard tier joke you double nigger, yeah I'm a riot at parties because my jokes are actually funny and I don't have to resort to mentioning Zombies like some redditor bitchfaggot.
Post the fucking videon nigger, you said you were gonna now pull through or your a coward bitch, do it you moron faggot.
Cooper Perez
lol imagine being this mad on the internet
im not posting it but you should kys
this is how it went though
it was in like 2014 when skinny jeans were a huge fad
it pretty much went
>"dudes have their balls pressed up against their assholes nowadays, don't they know theres sperm in there?" *crowd laughs*
>"and sperm is pretty much just babies that arent babies yet...... so when you're squishing your balls like that youre pretty much killing babies" *crowd roars in laughter*
>"but I'd squish my balls for a million dollars"
>"id kill TONS of babies for a million dollars" *crowd roars in laughter again*
I'm a comedic genius.
Dylan Rodriguez
That's not as bad as the Zombies one, faggot.
Still you should neck yourself for the zombies joke, I can't believe you did that.
Aiden Foster
Fucking cringe my absolute faggot
Austin King
idc about your opinion you damn skid. I think im hilarious and crowds so far do so thats that. once i get back up on stage, I'll perform the zombie bit (thats not even all of it), and it'll fucking kill.
here's the audio of the killing babies bit. its fucking cash.
Jaxon Taylor
I'm glad it's for fun and not for a living, man.
Christian Sanchez
this bit I did killed though. It was about the fad in 2014 of skinny jeans and how they squeezed dudes balls lolol
the zombie bit is still gold to me though.
Thomas Cook
Damn they were laughing pretty hard.