Depression / Feels share thread

I had days like that pretty much all the time. still do. i sleep through most of my day to cope with things. if i dont i usually have panic attacks and break down into a catatonic state

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Did she recover? My trip was so fucked up that it's still affecting me and I just want to be 'normal' again.

Just a friendly reminder in this thread that you are litterally gonna fucking DIE one day. Like fuck dont you guys remember 4th grade and walking home and now you know you are gonna stop existing one day. Jesus fuck can you even comprehend that? You one day never waking up and that is it. You are done and everything you did up until then was pointless cause you are dead.

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I've been thinking about death a lot lately, it's pretty fucked up how everything you did, all your memories, your joys and sorrows just disappear like that. I think everyone's afraid of death desu, and if they deny it they're full of bullshit.

Nah, I don't think weed would be worth it. I have pothead friends who spend upward of $100 a week. It certainly adds up over time. Also, it's just a temporary solution to depression. Then you'd develop a dependence on it and so on and so forth.

yeah she did. she thought weed wasnt really making her feel much i think and took it with xanax.
i hope i do die.
i let everyone down by not dying
because im such a pussy. i just want a gun instead of tying a fuking rope myself or having to make up some bullshit to my parents about going on a walk just to jump off a parking garage. im too inept to cross streets and scared to walk far. i break down everyday because i was abandoned by someone and ill never talk to them again or fully understand why i was left. so id rather die than just experience this everyday. the voices and traumatic memories that reoccur every second

I'm leaving my current job on less than ideal terms. The most ironic thing is that people have been telling me not to be bitter about my experience despite the fact that I was the company scapegoat and was lierally accused of being a potential shooter for being unable to force a smile after a particularly heinous month. I have a new job that is a much better fit but I will be leaving behind a good friend who I used to be very close to. She promised me we will still be in touch and will continue to work together afterwards. I feel very hurt that for the last 3 months she hardly let me communicate with her, especially when we started miscommunicating more and more. Because I could not clarify things, eventually she started believing the miscommunications. Recently the hurt has transitioned from sadness to anger though I'm trying my best not to blow up on my friend since I still think the friendship is salvageable.
For some reason I don't understand despite both our experiences and how they treated her she had been choosing to go along with them. It's an incredibly complicated situation for nearly everyone involved.

Yeah that's the main reason I've stayed away from drugs and alcohol to begin with, I don't have that kind of money to be wasting

Did a girl ghost you my dear user

I was told I might have cancer last week and I broke down man in my apartment alone in the dark I just fucking lost it, I will die eventually like what the fuck man I wont be able to enjoy a chicken terriyaki sub from subway after a certain point in time cuz Ill be DEAD.

Being ignored is a horrible feeling user, you have my sympathy and I hope things get better for you soon

oregononaly

my anxiety is getting to me. i have it pretty much everyday. i know its just in my head but theres no reasoning that i can do to stop it. it just happens.

Oof man suicidal depressed people really make me nauseous, like friend when you die you know that we have no idea what is on the other side like man I am not sure about those odds like phoooweee man you wanna roll those dice be my guest but I will let my body drown in booze and drugs before I end it prematurely.

Hopefully you don't have it user and could enjoy many terriyaky subs for years to come

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Literally the only thing that leaves me content these days is putting on some music and going outside for nightwalks at like 3am. Wish I didn't live near the city because they would be so much better if I was walking around in nature. It's such a nice feeling but then as the clock starts ticking by and you know you have stuff to get back to it just all gets fucked up again.

That shit you've got sounds terrible though user, can you take meds for any of that stuff or do you just live with it?

My fear of death keeps me up at night man Im supposed to take my mom out for sushi tomorrow and here I am on this fucking board because i cant talk to my family because they are all scared of death even more than I am and I havent even told them what the doctors told me like sheesh life is a helluva thing innit.

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waiting on my psychiatrist appt unfortunately. i cant get any recommendations from my new therapist. only antidepressants that are given out in pysch wards

>found a really cute transvestite boy from europe
>although he was a year older than me and an inch taller, he was really feminine despite clearly not putting effort into passing
>long blonde hair, pale skin, narrow frame, probably a nice tight ass
>he doesnt respond to me

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>Im supposed to take my mom out for sushi tomorrow

Have you ever talked to her about it? A lot of times these feelings and thoughts are genetic. I guarantee you she's felt the same and would appreciate you opening up about it.

Get the fuck out of this thread and go back to r9gay you piece of shit. Jesus fucking christ you guys can't just get over the fact that you're gay can you. I don't see any anons in this thread talking like that about women so it's obvious that you're being a gay fucking attention whore. Fuck off and kill yourself

nigger moms are so fucking programmed, they want their sons to die

Oh no about my potential cancer not my depression she knows about that. My moms bi polar and an ex drug addict she has a lot on her plate as is and the fear of losing a child would be too much. I already know my grandpa has skin and stomach cancer so hoof its not looking good.

I get more puss than you

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>puss
you should aim for the superior buss

I will try out some research drugs, all ADs haven't helped me at all.

Not sure what to expect, however at least I have tried everything.
Endgame baby, endgame

this kind of threads are one of the worst. You type an 500 word essay on your deepest feels then not even get a (You) for it.