Jow Forums sat in his large yet mostly empty house, looking out the window from the second floor (first off the ground) slightly tipsy. it was quite the step up from his place a few years ago, staying his room >90% of the time alone in his room in his parents house. frustration on his end and disappointment (but secretly a bit of virtue signalling about caring for a clearly disabled person) on their end gave way to confusion when they passed. a lot of his online friends would kill themselves in these circumstances. it takes money to make money, and now for the first time he had money of his own. he considered getting fucking wasted and living out a few decadent days or weeks until he killed himself, utterly broke and alone in the world. however, our intrepid (am i using that word right?) hero instead invested in cryptos and pulled out at the right time, making a killing on it and now reinvesting into more stable dividends. now he had plenty of wealth, though largely tied up in investments and assets, so he still lived frugally, but now he could self-larp as a lord of his mansion. beautiful rolling green gardens, good for pondering, relaxing and keeping distance from normies, gave a serene view from his lonely 'reading room'. And then he saw a shiny bbc - big black car - drive up towards his abode.
My shitty writethred
>spaces and paragraphs
he panicked a little.
why the fuck is this car here? who the fuck is it? are they out to get me? do i have debts or unpaid taxes & shit from way back come to fuck me over now? the government? normies looking to attack me for fun?
wide eyed and slightly shaking he hid from view and snuck away to grab his sword.
stalking down the steps he looked out the lil peep hole in the front door towards the vehicle.
It had stopped a bit away from the house and three people got out - a man in a black or very dark grey suit, a young woman in - was that a maid costume? a cosplay group? - and a younger girl, probably somewhere between 11 and 15 (girls can vary a lot) and just hitting the upper end of loli and approaching the sort of 'teen' look that appeared in porn. she was dressed in a pink dress, but he couldn't really describe it beyond that bcoz he didn't know much about girl's fashion except she looked like a very fuckable loli, even if she was unfortunately 3d
'Hello, lord Jow Forums.' said the man in front of the door.
'u-um, who are you all?' Jow Forums asked.
'I am the butler to the lord of bepis, a nearby manor. -'
'Is your name sebastian?'
'How did you know? I take it you've maybe been in correspondence with the late lord bepis?'
'n-no it was just a guess.' Jow Forums said, surprised his stupid weeb joke was a correct guess.
'As i have justed mentioned, the lord and lady bepis are now deceased. The castle has burned down in its entirety. It was largely uninsured too, because lord bepis didn't believe in insurance. However there is inheritance. All that remains of the estate is the three of us - myself, the maid /cgl/ and the young lady Scarlet, daughter of the lord and lady of bepis.'
'i don't mean to be rude but then why are you here?'
'we have instructions to bring young Scarlet here in an event like this. the offer, if you choose to accept it, is that she live with you. Perhaps late lord bepis had heard of you, nouveau Lord Jow Forums.'
Jow Forums opened the door and for the first time that week went outside. even if half his mind said it was a scam.
The butler bowed a little and the maid came over and bowed as well.
'h-hi i'm the maid' she said and energetically but also anxiously stepped back until she was near the young scarlet, satisfied with her not-quite introduction.
'My apologies, sir, to place this burden on you suddenly, but these are our instructions. You are, of course, quite free to decline. If you accept, however, she will move in with you for now, as the most appropriate place to be.'
">most appropriate place to be" Jow Forums sarcastically thought, considering he's a clearly mentally ill shutin neet man and she's a parentless loli.
'Unless you wish otherwise, we - myself and that maid - would also stay here and continue to perform our duties for the young lady and, if you desire, yourself, as the effective heir of the lord bepis.'
A title, a butler, a maid and a loli!
So much pointless text to read...
He looked over at the young girl. She was sitting down and looking away over the lake.
Though he couldn't see her face (and excusing his poor ability to read normal social cues including facial expressions) it was clear from her manner of vivacity or lack thereof that she was in some dejected state, losing her family and home suddenly and now being supposed to move in with this stranger.
despite his bitterness, Jow Forums could be a kind man, sometimes. And he accepted the offer.
--- next day
at first he thought it was a bizarre dream or a mix of alcohol and hentai, but Jow Forums soon found it to be very real when he got up to piss that night. surprisingly he actually slept somewhat well aside from this.
'I gently open the door' he thought and gently opened the toilet door.
'AH get out get out!' said scarlet and she pushed the door closed.
He'd accidentally half walked in on a cute young girl using the toilet!
the fan was off and he couldnt smell shit so she must be pissing.
he wasn't sure what to do. a cute pure perfect young girl tinkling! he longed to hear that lovely sound. his cock started to push against his pants.
'get a hold of yourself!' he thought and simply went out and pissed on the grass and went back to bed.
'Jow Forums, i know you have a busy schedule with your finance and anime but we must discuss scarlet's education. she's likely traumatised and in fact has always disliked schools, but she is very intelligent, and that ability should be nurtured as she grows into a young woman.'
'do you want me to teach her? or get her a tutor or something?'
'Yes, tutors and autodidactic study with your library and internet would do well.'
'Do I have to organise it or do you do it?'
'I will inquire into it myself, of course, but if you have any recommendations or acquaintances that could take part it would be very good. Do note, however, that they would need to work at dawn and dusk, or the night, as she sleeps during the day.'
That explains why she hasn't been seen today. The last time she was awake in the day was that overcast evening yesterday.
'I think I'll give some people I know a call'.
after breakfast but before lunch Jow Forums went up to one of his computer rooms and got on discord.
ping!
'what the fuck is it r9k why did u msg me this early in the day?'
'it's not even early fgt jeez Jow Forums, since when are you such an angsty sleepyhead? you're worse than me today'
'sorry, i checked the time and i guess you're right, imma lil tipsy atm'
'drinking in the morning, the pinnacle of morality'
'u do it too and this is basically a one off, half the time i'm str8 edge'
'all the time edgy and half the time straight'
'alcohol is a time honored aryan tradition, real men drink'
'>real men drink
'>i'm straight edge
'what ya trynna tell me?'
'oi, unlike u i've actually fucked a girl'
'what hapened to no sex before marriage?'
'anyway y'd ya msg me? habbening?'
'it's about a loli'
Jow Forums started to get worried he'd been caught.
Jow Forums explained a bit of his situation to Jow Forums
'so ya want me to teach her race realism and political philosophy and stuff?'
'yeah'
'sounds like a plan, let's redpill this qt3.14!'
/sci/ ignored him and he wasn't sure /a/ was a good idea to ask anyway. however, /lit/ was up for it.
'you'll teach her? about lit and stuff?'
'yes, sounds great.'
'promise you won't be overly pretentious or excessively self-contradictory?'
'no, I can't promise that.'
'I suppose that might be asking too much.'
'Hey Jow Forums get on vc. hop in dude'
Jow Forums and Jow Forums got on vc, but Jow Forums wasn't talking. instead, there was keksandra.
'Hey r9k! ooo i wanna hear how you're voice sounds!'
'...you've met me in person before'
'yeah but you just mumbled mostly'
'why are u using Jow Forums's discord?'
'i don't have u on mine!'
'u could add me then'
'maybe later i will!'
'so, why'd ya wanna talk?'
'it's fun and also i wanna teach and play with this girl too'
Jow Forums thought, I'm not sure what she'd teach her.
I'm liking it, but what the actual fuck was the inspiration for it. Continue.
Absolutely fucking gold.
the next day, Jow Forums, /lit/ and keksandra came over, around dusk.
Jow Forums went up to scarlet's room to tell her. he was a little giddy about it, considering it made more sense for her maid to get her, but perhaps subconsciously he wanted to see this cute girl on the bed. or changing. or perhaps he had more pure thoughts of making a connection with her.
'Daddy?'
he was surprised at being called daddy. was this girl a little roastie? then again, she could legitimately think of him as a father figure.
he simply stood there dumfounded.
she sat up and smirked, then asked in a sarcastically lascivious tone, 'do you like it when I call you daddy?'
he blinked.
this playfulness was a different side of her, compared to previous quietness. it was quickly replaced with formality as he explained the situation and she asked him to leave while she got changed.
he went downstairs and thought about it. what do i want to be to this girl? will she be my adopted daughter? a gf?
she came down, her blonde hair now brushed and shining in the light.
Jow Forums took one look at this fair-skinned, cutely-proportioned, blue-eyed and blonde haired girl dressed in pure white and girlish pink, and nearly squealed with racial delight.
Keksandra stopped looking through the stack of books /lit/ brought for repeating numbers and ran up to the girl to introduce herself.
/lit/ ignored the girl, trying to have a discussion with sebastian about absolutely nothing even though he was trying to actually do his job. it was a little amusing how he rambled on, though.
whether real or facade, scarlet was smiling a little and went down the stairs quickly with keks. While she walked towards a chair that would let her face all her new teachers, keks bent over at a bag between her seat and Jow Forums's, and pulled out some topkek.
keksandra offered a pack of keks to scarlet who quietly took one. keks shrugged and went back to her seat.
about a week later
'Jow Forums, are you going out for the town festival?'
scarlet said, and then added, 'daddy?'
Jow Forums blushed a little. he'd always been a bit sad that his inability to find a pure girl that would marry meant he'd never have a child, and now he had a little daughter, albeit adopted.
Of course, both knew he wasn't her real parent, and was still a bit conflicted over what their relation actually was.
'I don't usually do festivals...' he said.
'i suppose you're like me, you don't really like to go out too much. but, i'd like to go with keksandra. if keks is going, Jow Forums will probably also come, probably to stop savage niggers from trying to rape us'
she's eloquent, he thought.
'if you want to go, yeah, you can go.'
then he thought or rather felt something.
'maybe i'll come with you too.'
>wew timeskips, desu i'm getting bored of the whole idea and never really brought it out in the first place, thread will probably die, if anyone wants to take over feel free
Jow Forums was in his anime room, watching anime.
actually despite being in the anime room he wasn't watching anime because he found he'd watched all the good anime and everythign left was shit and he didn't really wanna go over replays so he basically sat there looking for good anime and thinking about the festival tonight.
then the maid came in.
'g-gomenasai, Jow Forums-sama!' she hastily said and started leaving.
'nah it'd just a minor thing, wouldn't it be sumimasen? then again i don't actually know japanese, also you don't have to speak in japanese in the anime room yknow'
's-speaking in english feels weird'
'isn't it your first language tho?'
'hai, desu ga, demo watashi wa -
'stop, i already said i don't know japanese and i'm not sure you do either. a little bit is okay but, like, we are speaking english here'
'sumimasen' she said and quickly bowed, realising she had no idea what the fuck she was doing or how to behave around Jow Forums-sama.
'so, aa, why'd you come here?'
'i need to clean the anime room...' she aid, looking suspicious.
'it doesn't really need cleaning, but i guess you can try'
she came in and closed the door
'so, do you know any good anime?' he asked her
'i don't know what you normally like demo um maybe you could try picking a genre and finding something new from a list, do you like (um) m-meido anime?'
'i suppose i'll try something. thanks i guess'
he wasn't sure how the anime room needed cleaning, but she was fully aware it didn't. she also didn't need to be wearing cat ears, yet she was, but he hadn't noticed, oddly.
as she cleaned, her breasts touched his neck as she went past.
soon she was down on the floor, on hands and knees, and she started to clean right in front of him.
and face away from him, her butt prominently raised.
he hadn't jacked off today or yesterday and felt his cock move a bit. the anime he was watching was kinda meh and she was very, very... distracting.
Jow Forums exhaled in a mix of triumph and unsureness as he wiped a bit of cum off the toilet seat and flushed the toilet paper.
it became clear that she was trying to be sexually provocative and wanted to fuck but he wasn't sure whether to take it or not so he just jacked off in the toilet.
an odd thought struck him: this was also the toilet where i walked in on scarlet.
he was touching his dick, and thinking about scarlet. it was a confusing feeling.
he began to worry about the night, that he'd smell like cum. even if he was quite thorough, he still felt dirty, so he had a shower.
the disappointed maid was still glad she made him so aroused, even if it didn't come to sex, and humped one of his pillows. as in a bed pillow, not a bodypillow.
she put her hand gently covering her mouth as she moaned a little, her hand under the pillow pushing it into her hot wet crotch.
she rubbed and rocked against it, cuddling and fucking the pillow like it was Jow Forums.
Jow Forums arrived at Jow Forums's place, and the girls + Jow Forums walked out.
they went back into the house, and sebastian brought everyone coffee.
'you decided to come too, Jow Forums?'
'yeah... is that a problem?'
'nah, four's a good even number. fun fact a hakenkreuz has four arms. i used to be disillusioned and sad we don't have cultural festivals in the west but individual towns do have events so on the local level it's not so bad. unless you're in a city. cities are shit. full of leftists and niggers and mudslimes etc.'
Jow Forums helped himself to a glass of wine without asking and leaned over near Jow Forums.
'you smell good, dude, new deodorant?'
'uh yeah' said Jow Forums, surprised at how closely Jow Forums got to the lgbt line.
keksandra showed scarlet a meme and scarlet surprised her with another meme back! they both kek'd.
hearing kek, Jow Forums thought back to the past. what weird times they'd had.
'hey Jow Forums remember when you pretended to be a girl all the time?'
'shutup Jow Forums you closet fag'
despite drinking Jow Forums drove the four of them into town.
the first thing Jow Forums thought was, 'it's really loud', followed by 'i can't remember when i last came this far into town, since i can buy stuff without coming this far and don't really nightwalk anymore'.
keks and scarlet were whispering to each other. Jow Forums'd never seen her talk much, but she seemed to talk a lot with keks. about what? who could say.
they walked around the town and bought donuts and looked at stalls but everything was overpriced and a lot was just plastic rubbish.
they came across a weird inflated thing, and asked what it was.
'this is inflatable boxing, you wear these balloon gloves and 'box' in the inflated house.'
it was a weird idea but they decided to try, since it sounded a bit fun. the first match would be Jow Forums vs Jow Forums. they both put down their beers and got the gloves on.
'i'm gonna knock you the fuck out trap loving degenerate' said Jow Forums and punched hard and fast
'says the actual homosexual' Jow Forums rebutted and swung.
the stall owner was shocked at the aggression and intensity but it quickly calmed down.
bop! bop! they were trading blows one at a time like really old school boxing.
'let's compare the speed of our fist rushes, Jow Forums!'
'pol pol pol pol pol pol pol pol'
'muda muda muda muda muda etc'
obviously Jow Forums wouldn't say r9k cos that's too many syllables
they bounced around a bit, jumping and tumbling about the bouncy house. the girls giggled.
Jow Forums punched forward into the air and slipped, falling over. time rang, and Jow Forums was declared the winner, rather oddly.
they got out and laughed, and finished their beers.
'reigning champion Jow Forums, i wanna box you too!' said scarlet.
she put on Jow Forums's inflatable gloves and they got in again.
Keksandra and scarlet shared a huge milkshake in a ferris wheel. It wasn't a big ferris wheel because it had to be installed recently on a temporary basis just for this event, but they could still see over the town.
Keks smiled and took a big succ of milkshake.
she tilted her head and thought back to an anime meme. 'this is like an indirect kiss :D'
scarlet blushed bright red.
'there's nothing wrong with that' she whispered quietly, eyes down avoiding keks.
'here, you can have the rest of it. it's nice :D'
they both looked out the side of the carriage. they'd reached the top and could now see over the whole town, well almost.
keks' eyes lit up and she clicked her fingers and pointed her arm at a bar.
'dubs!' she said and smiled.
as they started going down, keks grabbed the straw and started drinking more.
'we're still sharing :D'
then she did the jej face.
scarlet did it back.
'wake up, faggot. i got tendies'
'huh?'
'oh, hey, you've come to.'
'what happened?'
'scarlet knocked you out, dude. you got knocked out by a little girl'
'where is she now?'
'the girls went on the ferris wheel. well they went on a few other rides too, cos you've been lazy and stayed down for a while now. I had to drag your sorry fat ass over to this bench.'
'thanks i guess... hey you said tendies?'
'yeah i got some tendies. well they're not tendies but they're like tendies.'
'oh. that's fine then, yeah, thanks man.'
'>implying i said i'd share'
'what? aw fuckin come on Jow Forums '
'yeah, i'm not even a big fan of em anyway, you can have em. '
'sorry for ruining your night i guess'
'nah, i had heaps of fun. by the way, you should go look in a mirror.'
'what the fuck did you do?'
'find out for yourself!' Jow Forums said and cracked up laughing.
Jow Forums headed to a toilet.
the four walked around eating pizza, and wandered through a jewelry stall.
Jow Forums was looking for aesthetic fashy stuff, Jow Forums was more interested in the pizza while the girls perused every item, picking them out to try.
'it'd be nice to have something for the night.' Jow Forums mused between bites.
it was a nice chill vibe.
Jow Forums spotted some stuff that reminded him of elliot rodger's day of retribution. A gun neckchain and stuff that lowkey implied incel revolution. Though considering meido-chan, maybe he was more volcel. In any case, it'd be hella edgy and not really fitting with his style. whatever the fuck that was.
'check em!' keks said as she found the number ones. Jow Forums ended up buying two 88s and gave one to keks. since when did they get so close, anyway?
scarlet was holding a wristchain with wings on it. she turned to keks, and keks exclaimed 'birbs are bury important!'.
'we should get a matching set, keks' scarlet said.