Social Gains - humour edition

How do you guys make social Gains.
I can pretty easily participate in group conversations but I struggle to say funny shit very often. Also struggle with one on one eye contact but I'm working on that and it's pretty easy to get better. What do I say to normies to make them laugh? I've spent my life on the internet so my sense of humour is a bit warped and half the shit everyone laughs at when I'm hanging out with coworkers are old memes or shit that I don't even begin to understand how it's funny

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Why can’t some people eye contact?
What’s difficult about it? I’m a typical autist with no communication skills and i have no problem with eye contact

I don't really know. I used to be total eye contact avoidance mode but now I'm not so bad. What usually happens is that I'll start off well then get nervous looking into eyes and look away and overthink things and sperg out. If it's an interview or something important I can maintain eye contact fine

I get ya. You don't have to make people laugh though, no one likes the "funny" faggot who thinks he's such a joker. How are you improving eye contact? working on that myself now, for some reason I've spent my whole life staring at peoples mouths

Sometimes how you say something will make it way more funnier than the actual shit you said.
And desu overthinking it is probably your problem, in conversations I try to THINK of what to say rather than OVERTHINK because one day I hope to be a completely natural speaker who has no problems communicating with others

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>I've spent my life on the internet so my sense of humour is a bit warped and half the shit everyone laughs at when I'm hanging out with coworkers are old memes or shit that I don't even begin to understand how it's funny
I had that exact same experience. It gets better over time when you had more time together with your co workers, you can also just watch the same shit on tv and netflix which they watch or add them on facebook and see what memes and shit they pass around there.

The more time you spend IRL with the people around you the more experiences and story you have together the easier it will be to make them laugh and stuff. And the more normie you are the easier it is to connect with normies.

Being isolated and in front of your screen allows you to build a completely individual reality tunnel which nobody else shares and that can make it hard to connect with others.

Literally just by doing it dude. When you wanna look away just think about it and don't. Usually the other person isn't gonna be thinking you're a weirdo for maintaining eye contact more than 3 seconds, so don't feel self conscious about it. Obviously don't stare too long or intensely it's fine to look around every now and then

>in conversations I try to THINK of what to say rather than OVERTHINK
Yeah I get you there but it's hard when I've spent so long just being the silent one and now I gotta try draw on my very limited life experience to say something interesting and usually I miss .y opportunity

Constantly having to say "funny" shit in conversations very quickly makes me feel like I'm there to entertain someone else. Too much work.

>you can also just watch the same shit on tv and netflix which they watch
I don't wanna sound up my own ass but whenever coworkers talk about tv/movies it's all trash. Being such a loner I have pretty good taste in movies/tv so no way am I going to sit thru 20 hours of some shitty crime show just to reference it in conversation. Which again makes it hard for me to participate cause I'm such a retard that I overthink things and worry about coming off pretentious

I also don't really want to stop listening to the podcasts or whatever that I currently consume cause that shit makes me laugh harder than anything else in my shitty life so I guess I'll have to keep it seperate from my social life

Yeah fair enough. What I've noticed is that a lot of the time in normie conversations people react very over the top to things or behave in exaggerated ways which I'm really uncomfortable with for whatever reason
>Normie gets called up to do something in front of the group and makes a big show of it being really hard when it's easy as fuck and we all know it.
Why do they do this?

>but I struggle to say funny shit very often.

This is the hard mode. Being funy, i mean. I would suggest starting with practising some form of self-irony. Then exercising looking at things happening in the world and finding something laughable about the most mundane shit, and formulating that in simple words.

>spend entire day on internet or playing video games
>this satisfies your daily social drive
>after 6 hours of mindless Jow Forums you have no real natural urge to make friends
>delete that gay shit from your life
>go outside
>mind will be starved from it’s previous gaming website socialization
>naturally get your daily communicating done by speaking to people in real life

Turn off the gay computer and delete all your fag apps and sell your queer video games, you’re literally selling your life lmao

I>in conversations I try to THINK of what to say rather than OVERTHINK

I think this falls within the general problem of daydreaming, which in my opinion is the worst possible form of addiction. You end up building a whole story about how an event will unfold, which set your mind in a condition of expecting that very situation to happen the way you daydreamt about; which is impossible to occur, because real life goes its own way, and this cause a sense of discomfort and delusion as soon as the reality does not match the map/story we formulated in our stupid little brain. The thing is that that map/story is a fake map/story. But we indulge in it, and most of the time we feel a pleasure in building it, because we can fill it with pleasurable elements. Hence the addiction.

There's often an underlying joke that went waaaaay over your head. I only started getting it when I went nofap self-improvement mode and optimised my test while forcing myself to talk to people so try some of that

For real making people laugh is my greatest social challenge

>at the gym
>there is a power cut
>people seem confused
>some people start talking to each other which doesn't happen normally
>notice that some of the chads are making jokes which I don't really find funny but makes everyone laugh
>decide to make a joke as well
>I have spent a lot of time in the few days prior reading about survivalism
>loudly say 'WELL ITS TIME FOR CANNABALISM AHA DON'T WANT TO GET PROTEIN POISONING FROM EATING CARDIO BUNNIES HAHA'
>nobody laughs at all
>try to make the joke better by pretending to throw a fake spear at one of the girls
>nobody laughs again

How does it work? Normies are not funny but it seems I am not either

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Third time's the charm. Should have picked up your 5 pound dumbbell and made caveman noises while intensely pumping it above your head.

Lads how the fuck do you bring girls back to your place?
>house party
>minding my own business, chatting with friend
>qt filipina chick comes up to me and we hit it off
>drags me around for shots while meeting her other hot asian friends
>everythings going well
>pretty sure i could bring her back to my place
>i dont know why but i freeze up last second and don't do anything
>conversation eventually lulls and she goes off to find something else to do

I did this with 2 other chicks last night while my boy bags a chick in

This sounds like bullshit trying to cover for shit normie sense of humour

Who's the skinnier? Let's lit up some twigs.

Guys, i must have done too much cardio, I'm blacking out.

I also want to know this

It just comes naturally. At some point in your gains goal you need discernment on what is just your personality over what you can change.

That or just get more into normie mode to connect if you really feel like it. You've gotta turn of your Jow Forums goggles irl bro.

This is somewhat dumb advice. Video games are fine as long as you can moderate it. Playing an hour of Vidya after dinner/workout isn't an issue as long as it's not cutting into stuff you could be doing otherwise.

Video games are a fine way to relax but you need to have hobbies that actually lead to constrictive progress e.g. some kind of art/reading about shit/cooking whatever. If you really can't stop yourself doing nothing but video games maybe sell it off but otherwise try to ween off of them

I've seen same shit with my step brother he's super charming gets 9s and 10s all the time he's even done the 30/30 challenge. He's 5'8" with a huge Jewish shnozz. He's in good shape but even when he was a fat ass he was able to do this. He's always been able to do this hes just born with high charisma. But you can train charisma it just going to take a long fucking time. Meanwhile I'm here 6'1" 200lbs haven't touched a titty in nearly 2 yrs and I have never fucked a girl that could be considered above a 5/10 it's not about height as much as it is about confidence and social charisma

I didn't want to have to be the one to tell you this, but, your friend has a huge fucking dick

>few months ago
>be me
>go to dance bar with mates
>loadsa qts
>had my eye on a qt for like 10 mins
>fight the urge to go and talk to her
>"fuck it, im gonna do it"
>as i leave my seat some other guy comes up to her
>i stop and watch as he whispers into her ear
>she makes a disgusted face and tells him to fuck off
>he looks shocked and confused, walks away
>mates laughing their arse off
>"did you see that user? what a knob"

i guess this tells me not to approach girls at clubs and shit. no use making myself look like a complete tosser

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normies gonna normie. it's annoying as fuck but just laugh along

This is probably cliche but it's not what you say but how you say it. You probably came off as trying too hard for the laugh. Say things more off-hand like you don't care if people laugh or not. Doubling down on jokes is not a good idea since it looks even more like you're seeking validation.

It also helps if you look like chad. People give you more leeway for faux pas.

it gets awkward when you have not many facial expressions because you end up just staring,

also it can be overstimulating because other peoplea facial expressions can change by the second if you try to analyze all that

this

>go to bar
>nothing but 40 somethings there

Where the fuck do mid 20s people go?

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Real life is not exactly "better", its just "another different group whom if you wish to interact with, you need to adjust to their standards, or at least comprehend them enough"

Meaning, that if a bunch of retarded Jow Forumstards ever collected themselves among one another, we could probably do well. Shit we got a heavy influx of non Jow Forums culture, to the world of lifting in here. A lot of the more hardcore lifters have some, not all of our opinions for example. It is also important to have a similar philosophy and outlook at life.

You see, in real life there are also vast and huge divides. Different clubs, different music genres, hooligans for football things, religions, races, economic classes...god the list just goes on. So by accident I have found myself quite compatible with a lot of sports dudes, at the upper tier levels. But obviously there arent always grills there. So you need to adjust more to where they are...thats about it really.

But the main difference what you experience (and what is correct in your assessment) is "information overload", and adjusting to the pace of life. THIS MORE OR LESS IS THE 90% OF ALL THE PROBLEMS BETWEEN US AND REAL LIFE. The way we process information, deal with words, sentences, users, whatever...its quite different in real life where its sometimes okay to not to ignore a more boring person than you (who just needs more time to perhaps understand what interests you and you need to do it so with him/her)

We are somekind of mass media community form that has a lot of blind spots to the subtleties of life. And that can indeed only be cured by cutting yourself off from all of this. Perhaps in the longer run it is not needed...but you need to definitely make yourself familiar with the other realm. And I am ashamed that I am so retarded that I probably wont even follow my own advice (for the time being, until I get a drivers license and perhaps find more interesting places than a generic bar)

>One year ago gf left me for some unremarkable dude with a dead end job
>No friends
>Wnated to die
>Saw no way out

Today

>Qt gf
>Another even more qt girl messaging me all the time trying to create conversation and making moves
>Lots of compliments from girls
>Repaired old friendships
>Sorted out holidays with mates
>Making new friends
>Job got better
>Actually a glimmer of hope

unbelievable

Well done brothah. Don't cheat on your gf if you love her. That's not an accomplishment, that's doing goofed shit.

No I won't, I\'m too soppy for that, is just nice to somehow not feel like I've lucked out on one gir's interest, but there are actual, attractive, socially functioning women who are also interested in me as well.

Pro tip: Say whatever the fuck you want. Dont go on autistic tirades but don't censor yourself either. Do you really want to talk about what team lebron James is going to go to? If not, say what you want. God knows everyone else usually does.

One of my reasons is because I think is too romantic or gay. Like when you are in missionary.

>being this retarded

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dont tell normies that you 4 chan
i went for a walk with my bro last night
told him about this very funny thread on tv
his response was , hmmm that sounds really racist
and i said yeah but it was a good thread
ghost nigger stealing from crackers and haunting evil cops sounds like a good movie to me

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I suggest listening to comedy. Podcasts done by comedians can help you become familiar with the deliverance of jokes and give you humor gains, and you can just listen to their dialog for hours on end and actually enjoy yourself. One I frequent is called Small Town Murder, they just make fun of dumbass people who live in small towns and get wrapped up in murder cases, its pretty funny imo

Okay boys, how does one get a rotation of girls going? Ive been banging one atm last few weeks. Pretty hot. I have orientation for uni Next week, do I just use the same exact same process I used before and get digits and not tell first girl?

Get out of your comfort zone.
A couple of years ago i stopped wanking all day long and pretending i don't need people and got a job as a waiter.
I was forced to learn how to small talk, at first it looked autistic but once you grasp what people talk about usually you can make "friends" with every person on the planet.
It's really fucking easy, in the morning read the result of some sport bullshit on a paper and say "hey, did you see argentina? goddamit they got fucked bad" and let the other party talk.
The weather is great: "Man, today was so hot, i hope next few days we'll finally see some rain" and let the other people talk.
Complaining about governament and bureocracy is always a win, everybody loves to complain. After you put the first few words, just let them talk, sometimes say shit like "you're right", "goddamit", "sure" and keep going.
After a while you'll be able to talk about "what do you do in your life?", "whatcha doing around here mate?", "t'was nice to speak to you, wanna grab a coffee this weekend?"

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This.
Got a job as a cashier at a grocery store. Nowadays I'm sometimes in awe of how bad some of my friends are with new people.

>tfw ugly manlet but at least can make people laugh
it feels good man. I don't have a normie sense of humor. only things that really make me laugh is shitposts online or seinfeld. but often I manage to get people to laugh which I think helps me socially.

So what is the proper eye contact/looking away ratio? 10 seconds/ 2 seconds? I want to avoid staring them down like some primal beast, which always comes to my mind when I make eye contact for longer than two seconds. I always think, "am I being threatening?"

For social gains in general, I seem to have plateaued. I've been a waiter for a couple years now and I still have trouble with conversations whenever the customers try to start one up with me. I'm mostly decent at talking to my coworkers only because I've accepted the fact that I'm just awkward sometimes and so have they.

Also, it's much, much easier to talk to someone who isn't an ignorant pleb. Restaurant people aren't generally very intellectual.

I remember learning early on in school that even if your jokes are funnier, people won't be inclined to laugh if they aren't expecting to hear your voice. It's kind of a gradual thing, you start to speak up in group conversations at first by saying things meaningful to the topic so people actually listen to you. After a while you can make effective jokes because when they hear your voice they unconsciously being to listen more attentively.

me as well but it hasnt helped me socially at all. how do you think it helps you, has it gotten you friends/girls

I had pretty bad social anxiety for a while and the eyes of others always felt like mirrors reflecting my own inadequacies and weakness.

Just feel good about yourself and be happy, but in a strong and confident kind of way. The rest will come automatically.

same bro, you're not alone

I think it's helped get me friends because otherwise I'd have little appeal. my hobbies mostly revolve around electronics and shit and that's not why I'm friends with my friends, it's because we just have fun together.

For the longest time I never had luck with girls but lately I've found it easier to talk to them and stuff and now there are a lot of girls who I am comfortable talking with, compared to a couple years ago where I really couldn't talk to any. I still haven't held hands or had a gf though. but being at least a bit funny helps to talk to them in general I think.

I would laugh for you

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i have never had a problem making people laugh anywhere i go. its not like telling jokes, its just making observational humor of stuff people say or happening around me. did it when i was in high school, college, post college with work, odd jobs here and there. no problem making both guys and girls laugh. it has never done anything for me, im a 25 year old kissless virgin and have basically been friendless my entire life.

i fully recognize that i am weird and get teased for my idiosyncrasies by coworkers (basically my only social interaction i get in my life is at work) but i dont get upset, i take them in stride and give teasing/mocking back to them and they laugh about it as well.

i guess im just a clown who everyone hates. i also dont share any details about my personal life with my coworkers (which frustrates them) because i dont want them to know how pathetically i "live" even though im pretty sure everyone i ever interact with probably could guess right away that im a friendless virgin

>I probably wont even follow my own advice (for the time being, until I get a drivers license and perhaps find more interesting places than a generic bar)
I’m in a similar position, maybe with some more determination. I want social gains but are bars the only option to frequent? What else is there that has -interaction- opportunities that I can practice on?
I really want to be better at meeting random people so any advice would be appreciated. What do I have to see, which mindset do I engrain in my behaviour that does not only help stabilize my confidence but also gives me some -algorithmn- or guidance to my attention to be able to be quick and grasp the reactions and cues the environment gives me to -flow- between its dynamics?

>I want to be cooool.
totally indeed.

Having been in a relationship for 4 years I've become a social retard again. Now I'm so glad again I have no idea how to have a conversation. I'm going out tonight and don't know how to slip into a conversation anymore.

I dont know man, I currently am dealing with a moral dilemma as a cute grill that I bullied now haunts me day in day out to my wrongs that I did with her. I shit on her so much, purposely buried so many approach opportunities for her, tried to demoralize her too, talked shit behind her back and more...because she was "degenerate" and just now I am realizing that she just liked me. And I messed it all up.

but for your advice, though I see it as potentially as the "satan pill" is something like this

youtube.com/watch?v=G2H9o6z1oKU

Not fitness related, reported

fuck man why would you do that?
Just go apologize to her and try to show her that you can be a good man.

My entire life is a joke, but i'm not laughing

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I dont want to, too stubborn :

>make people laugh all the time but find very little funny myself
>easily talk to coworkers at work but if we go to a restaurant/bar i shut down completely
even had this happen on a hike i went with them on. had no problems talking to them on this hike, we go out to dinner afterwards and i revert back to complete mute

to add: fuck it, il try it

This desu

FUCK OFF
FUCK OFF
FUCK OFF

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That was very informing. I appreciate that. I would like you to brief me on what is it that you called -satan’s pill-, It clings my curiosity.
About your girl I’ll be as bluntly loving as I can. Decide now to do something, anything for the better, or regret perpetuating the loop. Expose yourself trying to do everything in your power to be better. Otherwise life becomes dull, even if you end up with the girl.

Best wishes on that, friend.

My sense of humor is all one liners in the moment, so I run out of funny shit real fast.

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Same for me, when there is something happening I can make jokes easily, but cannot entertain people out of thin air. How does one do that?

Stop caring what people think. Just say whatever you want. Better to be an asshole than stupid

entertaining people "out of thin air" is what clowns do

i wish i had the balls to just ask people why they dont like me, whats wrong with me. like asking my coworkers who are around my age (im 26 they are like 30-33) why they seem to be fine with me at work and like me, and usually invite me to the rare social outings they have together but then dont even think so much of me as to ask for my phone number or include me in group text chats they have

the satan pill is kind of like the fact that once you know about these things, you forget how to just be natural. And lose a lot of charm and magic in the process. I am not even on a deep level, just avoiding people and knowing what makes them want you is kind of defeating. In a similar way its also the reason why contracts with the devil...the above average thing that you want, often destroys you, not even by the devils fault, but just that humans are not meant to deal with this, this way.

Also to add: I am not sure if I can break the loop myself. It seems like we are responding to one another at different times. When I am mad at her and try to ignore her, she often tries to get to me, tries to talk to me, which I then dismiss...then somehow the roles flip the fuck over and the opposite happens. With her being kinda shitty and degenerate which makes me mad I guess. I have first been trying to "complete ignoring and non response to her" even through the loop. Which was quite long, a month now I think. It worked quite well...UNTIL THE FUCKING BOSSES ON THE ASSEMBLY LINE BASICALLY JUST TOLD ME TO TALK TO HER.

So I did and I opened up my mental can of worms so to speak. Feelings that I managed to squash down and suppress came out again and now I cannot contain them. She in turn saw this as an opportunity to shit on me again for ignoring her, and for belitelling her, laughing at her, talking shit behind her back and will probably want to hurt me as much as she can, like I did to her...

what joy the coming weeks will be. I am not proud to say it as a man...but christ, the last to days I had teary eyes the whole time, with random flashbacks when I made her cry as well...dreams of various sorts about her too. I remember that love was supposed to be happy...not completely nerve wrecking like this.