So user, why should we hire YOU, what makes you stand out from our other applicants?

>so user, why should we hire YOU, what makes you stand out from our other applicants?

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>I have nothing else in life but work because of my robot/incel nature

>get panic attack
>leave interview room
>never apply for a job again
>get neetbux

This is the part where you give the interviewer the firmest of handshakes, wagie.

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I may or may not show up with a bomb vest at your corporate offices if I don't get the job

I usually just get cocky and say
>Because I'm better than all the other applicants.
with a grin on my face
Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.

>be me
>34, 10 year gap in resume
>rural america
>on autismbucks
>used to get brief bursts of motivation where returning to the world seemed worthwhile and possible
>send out resumes
>nobody ever calls back due to the employment gap
i can't even get hired at a fucking gas station. if the bux ever run out, i have no choice but to die

>tfw I have a job interview in 4 days

Because I will work diligently to be fast, organized, and professional, and because my family members can vouche for my qualifications.

>lifts up skirt

that's the bare minimum they require nowadays though, even for minimum wage slave jobs

Well, that's bold user. Could you tell me exactly what qualifies you more than our others. For example we had Chad coming by this morning. He graduated top of his class at a very high regarded university. Besides that he has experience in the field and grew up helping in his father's business.

>tfw you have a master's degree and aren't even getting to the interview stage
REEEEE! GIVE ME A JOB, I WANT TO BE A PRODUCTIVE MEMBER OF SOCIETY AND STOP BEING A PARASITE ON MY PARENTS!

>I WANT
You retarded user? I understand needing it, but wanting that shit? Either you have poor choice of words or you one of the sheeple that is controlled by the media and illuminati like a sheeple.

A job would give me something meaningful to do and give me plenty of money. Why would I not want a career and money?
I don't mean a wage slave job, I mean a career where I could do something I enjoy.

I HAVE THE BEST FUCKING COLLEGE GRADES FITTING THE JOB PERFECTLY.
GIMME THE FUCKING JOB YOU CUNTS. I WANT TO WORK IN A COMFY OFFICE AND LEAVE THIS FUCKING SHOP ALREADY.

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I'm the only one who will murder you and your family if I don't get a job

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I have one, tho it's a wagecuck one. Even if it would have been something I like, it wouldn't be something I enjoy. And being forced to do something for 8 hours instead of sleep and play more vidya or actually improve my life is never the prefered option.

how did i end up at this interview? i like being neet. fuck you and your job.

>your
this is why you need a job dumbfuck

Merely pretending to be retarded, right user?

>you're
>fuck you and you are job?
???

Obviously, no matter what you say if you got no work experience and no/mediocre higher education, you won't get picked over someone who does have work experience and a better education.
That said, I'd probably respond to that with something along the lines of
>Sometimes you need a fresh perspective on things, someone who can think outside the box. That's me.
Or I'd try, anyway. I'd most likely start fumbling and stuttering half-way through the sentence.

>if the bux ever run out, i have no choice but to die

So? Life is overrated and it's not worth living and suffering for anyways.

idk, i don't mind being alive if the bills are paid reliably and i can stink up my couch watching anime. as soon as there's some stress or adversity though, i'm inclined to feel the way you describe.