I've fucked up, Jow Forums, horribly fucked up at the gym today

Did you sniff the bench after she used it again?

user it can't be that bad. Once I was in the gym and I let out a massive fart and turned around and said "UH OH" and everyone looked at me like I was stupid, but that was a few months back and i'm fine now.

Did she change her mind half way through railing her in the shower and another woman caught you still tapping it whilst she was struggling to get away?

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What the fug?

i spilled my spaghetti out to my gym oneitis

i can't be seen in the gym again

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So here's the story
>be me
>slightly autistic to some degree and have anger management issues, with a non-existent self control
>doing the same old routine peacefully
>finish a couple of sets, chat with the guy besides me on how women are the niggers of gender
>he seems creeped out but whatever, i try to finish my work out
>a couple of minutes later, a mulatto comes in, new, nobody knows him
>i pretend he doesn't exist, like i do to 99% of people in the gym
>go take a piss and come back
>he put his fucking everything on the rack, towel, bottles, a fucking duffel bag instead of keeping it in the locker room for some reason
>"dude sorry i was here, even the weights are loaded, i was working out here"
>he doesn't seem to give a fuck, instead he decides to act funny
>"you sound like a guy who exclusively curls, man, i don't think you need a bench" (in references to my gigantic arms compared to the rest of the body)
>a couple of guy crack a grin
>that's it
>i'm defending my honor
>like i said earlier, anger management issues, social retardation and no impulse ocntrol kick in
>buy him a fight, he pushes me back
>people think i'm pussying out
>grab nearest empty fucking barbell
>"well at least these arms are useful for something, faggot"
>fight ensues, i use all my fucking might to try and beat the shit out of the guy, but goddamn this barbell isn't wieldy
>i somehow end up chasing his ass to the locker room with the empty barbell
>"you're dead, you half nigger, i'll shove this iron up your ass until you're full nigger"
>naked people running around in the lockers but i don't pay attention to them
>he's fucking cornered
>like 5 full minutes of me beating the shit out of him with the barbell like a quater staff, while he tries to (horribly) block the attacks, both of us screaming like retarded apes
>never felt more violent in my life, kind of feel bad for the mulatto
>he falls on the ground and i realize i might've hurt him bad
>get even more anxious and retatded
CONT

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If this is real, you’re gonna be in the news

I want to tell my oneitis I like her but if things go bad I will have to change jobs. I don't think there is any other work I can do in this town. Has a 3k population. Think I'm just going to not say anything.

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>"you're dead, you half nigger, i'll shove this iron up your ass until you're full nigger"

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Yeah you're going to jail for a long time. And you deserve it. Enjoy the anal rape fgt.

Uh oh

Amasing OP.

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Oh my.

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so why arent you in jail?

cool hate crime bro hope you rot in jail lmao

oh dear, this is gonna be good

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>slightly autistic
I'm not so sure about that, OP

>that 24yo boomer who thinks his greentext stories are funny

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>tfw i was right

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>wasting your Saturday making greentext stories for maybe 30 other losers with nothing to do on a Saturday

i totally believe this

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If this story is real then it will make national news, user. Congrats.

Oh for the love of God, if someone is going to screencap this, include me in it

authentic and heterosexual

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Wew lad

holy fuck put me in this mother fucking cap

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CONT
>cashier runs in and out like an under-leveled retard trying to fight a final boss yelling "HELP ME LOCK THIS DOOR UNTIL I CALL THE COPS"
>i've realized shit hit the fan hard, so i might as well keep going
>i yell at him" what are you going to do, faggot? call the cops?"
>shit he's grabbing his phone, he isn't kidding
>"YOU MOTHERFUCKER" i yelled
>grip the barbell like a spear, throw it as hard as possible on him
>totally fucking miss like a mong
>barbell goes straight into the cashier's booth, turning tons of glass into mush
>shit, time to buy a fight for the cashier too
>i run at him like there's no tomorrow while making the most apeish noises
>the look of fear on his eyes, like a thousand yards stare, he knows there's no escape
>you see all these videos of people getting knocked out with a single punch? i never actually believed them until i've done it myself
>i hit him so hard in the nose i think i broke something
>he's either knocked out cold or pretending to be
>he was kind of a dyel faggot
>he deserved it
>meanwhile one of the (decent) people i know looks horrified (just like almost everybody else) tells me "what the fuck is wrong with you"
>take a good look at things trying o realize what's happening while probably making the most retarded subhuman face ever
>mulatto still hasn't got up
>cashier still looks dead as shit
>booth smashed so hard
>girl comes out of nowhere and screams "please call the cops"
>"DO THAT AND WE'RE OFF TO ANAL TOWN" (i don't even know why i said that)
>got a boner for some reason
>bolt out of the gym

now we have to discuss WHAT THE FUCK DO I DO? i even forgot my bag there
all this fucking shit because some half nigger stole my bench and tried to be funny god fucking damnit

probably not, bad part of a third world shithole where worse shit happens daily.

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>"DO THAT AND WE'RE OFF TO ANAL TOWN"
my sides

comin' for you

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>Do that and we’re off to anal town.
What a legend

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Jesus Christ I'm trying not to laugh so hard right now. Holy fuck.

I guess it's a bit more understandable if you had headphones/earbuds in and couldn't hear yourself. Even then it's still autistic af to go "UH OH". Holy shit made my night.

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Turn yourself into the police. Get an attorney. Tell your parents/someone close to you what happened before you turn yourself in.

Daily reminder that autism can kill

>"DO THAT AND WE'RE OFF TO ANAL TOWN"

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>>"DO THAT AND WE'RE OFF TO ANAL TOWN"

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What country?

>tfw we're off to anal town

>multicultural society
>peoples' insticts are to call the cops
>too much of a shithole for this to make any form of news
Yeah nah you're full of shit, name the country.

well, fuck.
>"DO THAT AND WE'RE OFF TO ANAL TOWN"
my sides.

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Please put me in the screencap

>buy a fight
literally where are you from

egypt

any help outside advice?

dont worry about your gym bag, im sure the cops will bring it by

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Oh dont worry, I'm sure bubba will give you the grand tour of analtown

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>"DO THAT AND WE'RE OFF TO ANAL TOWN" (i don't even know why i said that)
>got a boner for some reason
wew lad, ya made me pee myself a bit

Why are people speaking English

>DO THAT AND WERE OFF TO ANAL TOWN

my sides have transcended this plane of existence

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snackbar

>DO THAT AND WERE OFF TO ANAL TOWN

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I'm translating this shit you retarded fuck

>buy a fight

You're a fucking huemonkey aren't you? Can't wait to see you in the news, roider.

I fucking love how passionate you shitskins are, like indians or filipinos, like looking ok and then boom pure rage in 0,1s

yo post pic of the front cover of your passport so we know you're legit, i didnt even know they had computers in egypts i thought you niggers were still riding camels and building houses out of stone blocks

Write "do that and we're off to anal town" in Arabic right now.

Also you're obviously a native speaker of English.

>"you're dead, you half nigger, i'll shove this iron up your ass until you're full nigger"
>DO THAT AND WERE OFF TO ANAL TOWN
>got a boner for some reason
my sides

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i don't have a passport

Post pic of literally anything with Arabic writing plus timestamp.

government ID with your shit blocked out? newspaper in arabic? a fucking book? nigger can you see the pyramids from your house?

Based and redpilled.

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actually when you think about it you gave me a good idea, i'm going to get the fuck out of this shithole,

bahezzek ma3i le balad ezzok

Alright, hold on.

My fucking sides

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Why do I believe this

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for the love of God stay there and away from us

Come to Melbourne, Australia
I'll lift with you lad

Fuck off cunt the last thing Melbourne needs is more shitskins.

Melbourne needs all the shitskins so when we nuke the place we'll get them all in 1 go

reddit attention whoring thread nothing to see here

while we’re at it we better find enough gasoline to attract all the abos

There, i fucking hate myself im wasting time

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>he was kind of a dyel faggot
>he deserved it

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>it's real
You better buy a plane ticket real quick

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>"DO THAT AND WE'RE OFF TO ANAL TOWN"
The perfect combination of fake, gay, and hilarious.

pretty much this, gtfo there op and hope you didn't kill anyone in your autistic rage

salim muhammad jaleel hussein you better move your ass out of there

Put the date and time too you autistic sandnigger

in the 1% chance this is real, contact an attorney, turn yourself in immediately, and precisely follow your attorney's directions.

ebin thread regardless

put me in the screencap

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Get a load of this faggot

It does sound much more credible in arabic

fuck this life why am i wasting time here, thank god nobody in that shitty gym knows where i live

i think i'll just fuck off to another city

>the new year's comic is gonna have a sign outside the gym that says Anal Town

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Goddamnit Ramesses

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>"DO THAT AND WE'RE OFF TO ANAL TOWN"

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YES

This thread is a good thread

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