Painful memories

You should get checked for playground aids as well.

>molested by my babysitter's teenaged son when i was really little

I would rather kill myself than live through that. Jesus fucking Christ

are you serious or is that an exaggeration

This. Fucking roasties have it so easy.

>Be me, 7
>Whiteboi in predominately black neighborhood
>Short insecure black kid pushes me off playset
>Bunch of kids gather around to see whats happening
>"What u gonna do pussy? Fite me bitch"
>Flashes his dick for a second as a powermove.
> I walk away unfazed
Whew, I almost didn't make it out of that one but still, good thing I walked away with my dignity intact.

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It's because he outed himself as a homosexual. He deserved the ridicule.

Compared to the OP whose very painful and traumatic Pocket watch story absolutely TUGGED my heartstrings, how very very tragic. Shut up.

Should've read a line past the greentext- I was the class pariah and everyone made fun of me because I did a million more antisocial things like that, was incapable of peer interaction. It's quirky if Stacy is awkward once or twice, I was the class sperg

In middle school I was known as "squirrel boy". I had an unhealthy obsession over squirrels. I often pulled my arms up to my chest as squirrels do when they stand up and pretended to have seizures. If it wasn't for my excellent work as a student I think I would have been psychologically tested.

I'm glad I moved for high school, but I fear ever running into anyone from my middle school, as I now go to college near that town.

>Listened to friends talk about their childhoods and what their families were like
>All the things my parents and I had to endure in the past come back to mind
All those close calls with moms medication and kitchen knives. Brushing it off like it's normal and doesn't dother me is a coping method maybe.

>be me
>be 5 or 6
>brother is 7 or 8
>says if you put your mouth on my dick ill give you 80 bux
>fuckwhynot.png
>was a kid so didnt really understand this
>proceed to go to the bathroom
>takes a big piss in my mouth
>ohfuckohno.jpeg
>spit piss out into toilet
>run and cry to my parents
>never get the money

to this day, none of us have talked about it and it still haunts me to this day.

My most painful memory:
>be living on my own at college for the first time
>in class on the first day of class
>haven't masturbated in a week
>sneak into abandoned classroom, completely dark
>start masturbating
>suddenly, lights turn on, classroom full of students
>the entire class was testing see in the dark goggles

not that guy, but I've lived through less painful experiences and I still want to legititmately kms

Jesus, that hurt to read. I'm so sorry for you.

lmao fukn liar, what happened after you got caught

I really hope you are lying to us.

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Nigga that's gay af

Here's mine:
> be me, 15yo
> have no friends IRL
> meet unknown guy on facebook that lives like 20hrs away from me
> turns out he's a nice guy
> keep talking to him for more than 5 years, he was the same age as me, we become very close e-friends
> be me 16yo
> he has a female friend (also was his crush) which he knew since they were 13yo
> female friend's boyfriend died recently so he tells me that it kinda hurt him a bit and now he wants to cherish her
> he makes a group chat with me and her female friend just to talk about memes and shit
> we indeed talk about shit
> I didn't notice that she actually liked talking with me
> okay.jpg
> time passes and she feels comfortable when talking with me because I was like her ex (or idk)
> both me and she start distancing from original friend and we keep talking
> there's a point where none of us talked to the original friend, she was as autistic/friend-less IRL as me
> occasionally original friend tells me that he fells alone and he suspects that she likes someone else
> topkek.jpg (actually felt bad)
> skype calls all day long (literally there were calls for more than 1 day) with her for over 2 years
> we became EXTREMELY co-dependent with each other so everything went downhills
> things eventually get very fucked up so she puts an end to the fucked up shit we had, I ask her to block me
> be me 18yo, still a a friendless pepe IRL, don't know what to do now because she was the only person I talked to. I don't even talk with original friend anymore
> guess I'll just cope with the feelings
> 6-8 months later original friend tells me that she actually felt into depression and she was scared of meeting someone like me
> they started a short relationship (she dumped him) and original friend tells me that I actually made her a shitty person. also tells me that she never cucked me (that was true because she even sent me her most valued things like necklaces and so on)

> original friend tells me I betrayed him and tells me to fuck off
> it seriously felt bad, because I preferred his female friend over him and I was now literally alone
> fast forward 1 year later
> talk rarely with him, he kinda accepts what I did but didn't forget me at all
> realize that I ruined their friendship so badly and that I fucked both the girl and me (but mostly the girl) mentally, now she doesn't even know that original friend exists
> realize that everything was a waste of time because I never managed to know her (she sent me nudes tho)

Now I just feel pathetic, but nevertheless things have changed for good. I am not a virgin anymore, and I have friends. I do not expect anyone to reply me, but it's good to get this off my chest.

>third grade
>already autistic around girls
>huge crush on girl from class
>find out she's moving out of state over the summer
>write lengthy letter confessing my love or something to her and talking about how much I'll miss her
>hardly ever talked to her previously
>pass her in the hallway later
>can't make eye contact
>"I got your letter, user"
>ignore her, keep walking
>never speak to her again

yep, my friend had me pee in his mouth and sucked my dick when i was like, 3 or something. he asked me to do it and i remember really not wanting to but him convincing me. dont know if thats what did it persay but i am a fucked up individual today

>Nigga that's gay af
Proceeds to say the gayest shit since buttsex

HAHAHAHAHAHA elaborate PLEASE

This one hurt even me. Jfc. I'm sorry, user.

Being slapped by a friend I had known for about a month. We were walking home from school and I don't remember what I say that prompted it but I remember exactly where it happened, I can even find it on google maps. What's especially vile is he did it when I wasn't even looking at him, I just felt this strange sensation on the side of my face and I had to walk dumbfounded accepting what just happened. We obviously no longer speak.

>first memory is of me shitting down the stairs while looking at my dad

you retard, she probably liked you if she didnt she wouldnt have brought it up

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I once called a teacher 'baby' and she bit her lip

Slept in the same room as a gay guy.

Unwillingly lost my anal virginity that night.

>5 years old, just started school
>parents let me watch too much TV so I know how to pick up chicks
>see QTs in my class
>bingo.jpg
>put the moves on them just like the guys on TV did
>would put arms around 2 girls at once during storytime
>older kid asked what I was doing and looked at me like a weirdo
>ignored him because I was a playa, he didn't understand
>eventually fixated on this one girl
>would do shit like compare shoes sizes when I sat next to her
>eventually one guy asks if I like her
>say yes, so he goes and tells her
>five minutes later she's crying and goes to the teacher
>The rest is probably a repressed memory but I think I got in deep shit
>vice principal was called which is basically like a death sentence when you're 5
>gives me a stern talking to, how it's not appropriate to do that
>parents called
>can't remember anything else except me crying
I genuinely think that fucked me up for life. It probably explains why I'm 20 and have never had a gf due to my intense fear and anxiety about asking out a girl.

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the mothafuckin man tryna keep down a little playa

>class is having some competition organized by history teacher
>"we will start by the easiest questions"
>teacher assumed I was a retard so she gave me the first one (which was already offensive)
>"You will go first, user" --everyone laughs at this
"user, in what year did our country gain it's independence?"
>everyone expectantly looks at me, some with mocking eyes, others expecting me to answer correctly but still doubting me
>I say a close date but fail
>everyone laughs at me
>feel like a retard in front of my entire class

Wasn't that bad. I know both you and I have been through much more embarrassing situations.

>16
>go to shitty alternative school
>decide to be "fashionable"
>wear timbs and a army green bomber jacket
>get out of car to go to class
>3 beaners in a truck yell at me
>"this isn't new York, stop wearing timbs fatass"
>mrw

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>be me in primary school
>first year
>get bored in class and decide to annoy the girl sitting next to me
>take ruler from my bag and poke her in her back
>insufficient reaction
>let's go deeper
>lower ruler to her pants on her back
>going for the jackpot
>she yells that I should stop
>heads are turning
>user is trying to get in my pants
>not getting in trouble with teacher or parents as far as I remember
>am branded as a creep though
>tfw I agree with that assessment

Hello eric

That is FUCKED. elaborate?

Disgusting faggot scum

well, shit. Elaborate?

fake and undoubtedly gay

A chad pulled down my pants in front of my entire class. He later apologized for it, but he was still layghing his ass off just like the rest of the class

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My entire year long relationship with my ex, followed by the months we fucked around before it, followed by the intensely painful and horrific 6 month breakup period, followed by this month of pure agony and loneliness without her.

Fully serious, fucking women talk about that shit to other women. Kms

Hahaha you know this tard? Hahahaha

my psychiatrist told me I was fucked up, that I would end up alone, and that "people don't like people like you (me)"
He also said I was a huge burden on my family, just basically confirmed all my negative thoughts about myself.

What do you want them to do? Lie to you just to make you feel better about being a fuck up? You're just emotionally sensitive, get over it and use it as a lesson to better yourself.

Who cares what they think about you or if they talk about you?

Pedophile lived next door when I was 8

You an peice the rest together, I don't want to fully talk about it..

Fugg
Hurds do reed :DDD
Bad Mebory Adod :DDD

I am not a fuck up, I didn't do anything wrong
I am schizophrenic

Shut up normalfag, there's a way to talk to people, especially if you're supposed to be a mental healthcare proffesional.

wtf, since when is it illegal to have a crush on someone the same age as you

Being born in the 90s was a mistake. He's lucky he didnt get put on a list for singing bar bar black sheep

>had massive world-ending crush on friend about 7 years back
>we were hanging out
>I brought video games to her place
>"What should we do now, user?" she says
>"Wanna wrestle?"
>"Okay!" she says, and gets into a fighting stance
>"Oh, I meant like the game, I brought a wrestling game"
>"Oh, yeah we can do that too"
Fucking kill me my dudes

also

>Had small crush on a female friend a few years back
>she would come over and watch anime all the time
>one time it was late and we cuddled on my bed while watching
>went under the covers
>she faced me and cuddled up against me, away from the TV
>I STILL COULDNT MAKE A MOVE

I'm past that level of autism now but holy fuck every time that memory resurfaces I fucking hate myself

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absolute gammon

>kept orbiting and obsessing over girl who clearly wasn't interested in me
>too socially retarded and horny to see this
>months later she finally puts an end to it and lashes out at me
>realize how retarded and delusional I was all that time
>still feel bad about it

Typical story for many young men. I think of it as the rite of passage and now I know better.

Not quite kiddo. It's not my fault all you youngfags are wrapped in cotton wool.

what the fuck is "bar bar black sheep"

>powermove

cackle

A nursery rhyme, dont they have them in 56%land?

HAHAHAHAHA YOU DUMB UK FUCK
You literally thought all these years that the song went "bar bar black sheep"? Did you think it was because the sheep was "barred" from giving wool or something? Did you think it was "barred" as in striped?

>FB_lMG

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that's what you get for trusting homosexual demons

>Wanna fuck?
>"Okay!" she says, and gets naked.
>"Oh, I meant like the game, I brought a fucking game"
>"Oh, yeah we can do that too"

>14
>parents are gone cant remember why but i had the whole house to myself
>go into parents room
>looking through all their personal shit
>find a big purple dildo that vibrates
>also find lube in dads nightstand
>lightbulb.iso
>proceed to slowly shove it up my ass
>had no idea what i was doing wasn't even a little pleasurable
>pull it out
>shit all over it practically brown now
>parents are gone so no hurry i just threw it on their bed
>go back to bedroom
>hear parents come back
>completely forgot about the whole thing not worrying at all
>hear parents come upstairs go to their room
>about 5 minutes late my dad opens my bedroom door
>the look of disgust and shame on his face is something i'll never forget
>"Hey....We're back...Stay out of our room got it?..."
>slams my door shut

There was never talk of it after that. I couldn't look both of my parents in the eyes for a week or so after.

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Have they ever seen you with a girl or are you still a faggot?

>girl I like posts a link to a site where you can tell her things anonymously
>tell her she's a 11/10
>she knows that I posted it
>replies with "oh"
Just fuck my life senpai

Lmao. 14 is a little old to be that retarded, don't you think?

I would have literally killed myself after that. I'm so sorry user

everything i remember is a painful memory.

I don't have painful memories, just painful truths.

>taking a shit in a urinal in preschool
>shoving a toothbrush up my ass one time when I was 12
>asking my brother's black friend if I could touch his hair

Good god my life is one big trainwreck.

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>be me ~12
>german fag during summer holydays
>at some language trip in UK to learn english
>assembly of all participants (couple hundred kids/teens)
>T-Shirts given out with names on them
>Dont find mine, so go back to my seat somewhat confused
>One Shirt remains with the label "The Master"
>Organizers ask everyone who last remaining Shirt belongs to
>No one speaks up
>Remeber I was able to choose T-Shirt label some weeks earlier online
>Remeber I am "The Master" (yes I know how edgy that sounds, I was 12 so give me a break)
>Way too embarrassed to step forward now, have to commit to not knowing
>Organizers look up the name of the poor kid who Shirt belongs to
>Call my IRL name forward
>Have to stand up and go get my shirt while literally houndreds of kids my age are laughing at my stupidity
>kms.exe
>[kms.exe has stopped working]
>be called "The Master" by everybody for the next 3 weeks
>never recover.
>fml

Be 20 now and this moment still haunts me to this day.

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I'm so sorry my friend, may God bring your soul peace

That's not the only thing that happened as a result of too much TV.
>be me, 5 years old
>school recently gets the brand new windows xp
>get computer lab sessions to teach kids how to do shit like save files and mess around with kid pix
>strict as fuck ancient teacher who was like 60 shows me how to save a file in word
>ok user, you press this and have to choose where to save it
>what do you want to call it?
>decide to call it 'Snoop Dogg' for some fucking reason
>teacher proceeds to type out 'snoop dog' for me over a period of like 45 seconds
wrong.png
>yo there's two G's at the end of 'dogg'
>she just pauses and gives me this look of disappointment
mfw I didn't even know who snoop dogg was, I just heard and saw the name on tv and thought it sounded cool

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>work in an office with mainly zoomers / millenials around my same age (23 - 30)
>get invited to normie viewing parties that two of them, a couple, host
>they're watching 13 Reasons Why this time, normie garbage
>actually end up kind of liking it, don't crucify me guys
>really like the character Cyrus, pic related, a manlet Hispanic punk kid
>besides the manlet Hispanic part, he was basically me in high school and college
>destructive, chaotic, mischevious, edgy, music scene, even dressed like I used to, I used to play in bands too (not just punk bands though)
>before long I'm completely enthralled in whatever Cyrus is doing, living my past vicariously through him because I know I'll never again get to be what he is on the television, the best days of my youth are behind me
>it literally tears me up inside
>/mu/ autism kicks in
>begin autistically blurting out facts about stuff I recognize / know regarding the sub-culture Cyrus is part of to my co-workers
>"Hey, he's wearing a Dead Kennedys shirt!"
>"Alternative Tentacles? That was the record label for The Dead Kennedys, Melvins, Butthole Surfers, and many other great bands!"
>"Jazzmasters? C'mon, why's he playing a Fender Jazzmaster? Unless you feel like replacing everything to get it working right, they're not worth the effort. I'd like one to be honest, but I'd have to get the money for it and new replacement parts like the bridge."
>"Why would he vandalize the field with Anarchy symbols if he wears Anarchy patches? He's gonna get himself caught, c'mon Cyrus. That's not how we used to do it."
>"Cities In Dust, holy shit! They put a Siouxsie track on here?"
>"Buzzcocks too?"
>>"Oh wow. That's neat user, haha." is practically the only response everytime
I don't think I'll get invited to the next cycle of viewing parties. Goddamnit, I hate being a 28 year old boomer.

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Holy shit dude, I can't even imagine what you're feeling considering how hard this made me cringe
*Snap*

It's not that painful user. I think that era and style was cool as hell. I would have loved to be a teenager in the early 2000s. No social media, no bullshit, good music, good games, good TV shows... I could go on but you get my point. Nowadays everyone is too busy sharing some garbage unfunny meme on facebook or following some stupid fad that lasts 2 weeks.
>inb4 le wrong generation
I just wish I was older during that time so I could experience all that it had to offer before it was gone forever.

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i'm pretty sure everybody has done that at some point

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Yeah, I fuckin get it.
What's painful is that I keep uncontrollably blurting out facts about it to my co-workers, just because of one character who made me remember that I'll never be 15 - 25 again.
I lived that in that sub-culture my entire youth, and now it's gone. I'll never go back. I'll always be an office wageslave.

I lived in that sub-culture*... I meant, fuck.

>6th grade, about 12
>have this female friend
>one day at lunch my hand accidentally grazes her tit.
>over the course of a month i become completely infatuated with her
>I'm literally fucking obsessed.
>This goes on until mid 7th grade.
this was probably some of the most autistic shit i've ever done

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>around 8yo
>shy kid due to domestic problems
>crush on class stacy
>told 1 friend ever
>walk out class to go play
>hear friend of mine fuck around and randomly tell her and her best friend that Im in love with her
>they both go: "EEEWWLL" out of disgust
>I walk behind them hearing it

This little shit really fucked me up for life

Cant express love in fear of rejection

>be 8 or so
>Have one friend, an outcast slightly dark skinned eccentric girl
>Am also dark skinned but my mother is light skinned and never met my father at the time (he's Italian or something, gypsy genes)
>One day she invited me over to her house
>Walk into the house and see that her sister is a nigger
>Completely taken aback, ask if her sister is adopted
>Nope
>Realize I'm racist
>Still hang out with her until we move out of the city because friends aren't free when your an outcast

>that memory of being confronted in uni by a red haired jew and her friends because they think I sexually assaulted somebody by touching their ass at a party

>he forgot about the dildo covered with shit in his parents room

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This shit is the worst series of events that I did. I blame it partially on my mother as she suggested this.
>be on holidays when I'm about 10
>mom asks if I've started to like girls yet
>no
>are you sure?
>well, there's this one girl...
>proceeds to tell me old-fashioned ways to get a girl
>suggests I get her something
>buy a bracelet with my own money

>come back home
>write her a letter confessing my love
>fold the bracelet into the paper
>after school, I just hand her the letter
>spaghetti.bat
>run faster than ever before
>could've outran a fucking cheetah
>hear her calling my name
>regret everything

>couple of weeks pass by
>shopping with mom
>"Did you give her the bracelet?"
>yes
>"Well, I can buy you something to give her if you want"
>being the bluepilled 10 year old I was, I agree
>buy her a fucking necklace
>give it to her at lunch
>teacher takes the necklace
>mom has to come into school to get it

>finally, I go to the shopping centre by myself
>what gift should I but her?
>oh, I know
>a fucking teddy bear
>buy bear
>go home
>wrap it in gift paper
>next day, after school
>hand her the terribly wrapped bear in front of everyone
>worst part is, I waited there awkwardly for her to unpack it
>finally does
>"Well thanks user!"
>"No problem"
>just walk away and never speak of it again

>throw it on the bed
the absolute mad man

This one is quite ironic, not that i can remember something paiful but that i cant remember:

>be me
>bullied through whole elementary
>practically bullied til 9th grade but "getting over it"
>developed amnesia as a cope method. I cant remember anything from elementary or any unpleasant memory from that time but the general fact that i was bullied a lot
>ffw last month
>everyone is talking normally. Im there but quiet most of the time
>someone starts talking about people they either miss or remember from elementary. At this point i am aware i can no longer participate but i dont care and stay there
>people remembering specific people, everyone laughing and having a good time
>start feeling bad for not being able to relate
>it eventually turns into depression. All i can recall from what they talk about is shitty stuff i went through at school
>i can feel tears trying to come out of my eyes
>try not to cry, put hoodie on and pretend im trying to sleep
>right before i cover my face, "whats wrong with user"
>everyone in the class is staring at me as i try not to cry
>die inside a lot as i get away from everyone and lowkey cry

I dont feel it was something painful, i only feel the guilt of not having good memories from my early school times crawling on my back now.

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>can't remember more than 5 things from before I was 7-8
According to my mum my upbringing was pretty brutal. we couldn't afford food for years as my dad spent all that was earned on alcohol. he beat us regularly and would often give us alcohol.
but ah well. I can't remember anything much more distressing than me running into a wall so hard I burst part of my forehead open when I was 5.

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