Gym Stories

lel

>Workout at 8am this morning in my fancy housing development's private gym
>has area with machines separated from free weights with big double pane french doors for some reason
>have the place to myself for 30 mins
>all is good
>all the equipment is in place
>no dumbbells or plates missing
>nearly done with my routine and two Korean girls walk in
>they do cardio for 10 mins
>then they stop
>talk for a few minutes
>one goes over to the free weight area
>closes french doors
>shuts them entirely
>lays down on a bench
>starts playing on her phone while laying down
>took over the entire free weight area just so she could be a lazy thot
>got pissy with me when I went to do my bro curls and finish up

I don't even understand what her deal was. I wasn't even making any obnoxious noises. What is it about gyms that makes some people so fucking retarded?

this

Based

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Degenerate

today

>stop by locker room for a quick piss before workout
>walking past the lockers toward entry for the bathroom
>65 year old boomer out from right side cuts me off, crossing butt ass fucking naked
>stop, thousand yard state ahead to stop me from looking at his old man dick
>asks me if I'm okay then walks in
>say yeah to his back as he walks in

later
>emptying locker ready to leave
>boomer from earlier is walking out of bathroom
>starts talking to me from my side
>ignore him with my headphones on
>taps my shoulder
>turn around
>he has backed up and begins JUMPING up and down
>look at his flopping dick by reflex
>he almost cries laughing and walks off

fucking naked boomer in locker room for over 2 hours...not even a sauna in there. fuck.

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>GRANDMOGGED

Okay.. Which one of you posted this. I know those dumbasses in the picture so I know it's one of my lifties buddies

(Not OP here) Because it's a real gym story. Those two in the pic are just plain stupid. They are the Walmart people of the gym

>such a beta your presence gets dominated by a woman

Only on Jow Forums lmao

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holy autism

>lifties buddies
Nigga you cannot be serious

I laughed so fucking hard at this

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hahaha, great acquiescence on your part.

What? You don't have friends that lift? Friends that can push you to new limits?

Why you being the joker dude?

>friends that can push you to new limits
Gayest shit I’ve read this morning

That guy looks like chad.

>bike to gym on a 2.4 mile route that I tell people is 2.5
>arrive at gym
>some kid is super-setting an ab routine in the cable machine and on the floor in front of the cable machine
>I need that machine
>fuck, my autism
>put my shit down by the bench, go use the restroom and come back
>today is the day I don't let my autism control my life
>wait until he's done with his set
>"H-hey there. Hey, man."
>he pulls out his headphones
>I might've motioned for him to do that, I don't really know; it was all a blur of autism and social retardation
>"You mind if I work with you?" pointing toward machine
>"Yeah, sure. No problem."
>I make a mental note of his settings so I can return to them after my set
>he walks away
>do set
>reset cable position
>he doesn't come back
>do another set
>reset it again
>he doesn't come back, again
>do rest of workout while he fucks off and does some ab routine bullshit on the other side of the gym
The world is not ready for how alpha I am.

OHP in a rack is totally fine

>exhausted
>from walking
>WALKING

Jesus Christ lad.

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>snapback
>no weight on the bar
>smith machine
But then I see,
>lmao4pl8 on bar on the floor
But who was deadlift???

>lifties buddies
Y’all need jesus

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this is unironincally the most latently homosexual thing I've ever read on this board

so no friends then?

>tfw i have to do rows on a smith machine bc i go to p fitness

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I would be laughing pretty hard, too.
Sounds like some shit I would do if I was 65 and entirely gave up on shame.

Im ashamed of how hard I laughed.

thats the joke, retard

gay

Yeah, my uni gym doesn't allow cleans, so how else am I supposed to do OHP?

There are 2 cages and 2 racks. I use which ever is open. Is there a real difference between the two? They both have safety bars.

I want to hug you. I know the feel.
I used to go to the gym owned by ex strongman.
It was filled with no neck tattoos all over and deadeyes type of people. Some of them were criminals you can tell (Im from slavic country).
I'd never ever asked them if I can use squat rack or anything because I was scared.
God bless I have home gym now.

>I was only pretending to be retarded
>jokes on you

>At gym with gymbro
>Triceps/Chest day, making all kinds of gains
>Suddenly THAT guy walks in
>Longpants, hoodie, earbuds
>Fucking EARBUDS in a gym that already blasts music
>Goes straight to the squatrack without even warming up
>Starts squatting just the bar (wat)
>Adds some weight and squats like 4-5 times before having to sit down
>Unloads the bar, red as a tomato already
>Starts doing overhead press, with THE SAME FUCKING BAR
>Entiregymstaring.exe
>Does the same shit there, doesnt even use clips
>Gymowner stares at him from the receptiondesk
>Prob wonders if he´s liable if the kid kills himself
>Somehow survives anyways, deloads the bar
>Starts DEADLIFTING WITH THE SAME BAR
>Gymbro just mouthing "what the fuck" and stops in the middle of his set
>Does one fucking set of deadlifts
>Deloads the bar and walks out
>Doesnt even fucking shower
>Comes back a couple of days later IN THE SAME FUCKING CLOTHES

Saw him weighing himself in the gym, fucktard even seemed to GAIN weight

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Hey ! Thats me !
You forgot that I was sipping milk straight outta my gallon jug.
Gainz

umm.. wheres the problem? i mean its weird to use the rack for ohp and ddl but why should someone care if he doesnt need the rack?

how new are you my man?

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>doesn't allow cleans
Try and fucking stop me.

>Uni gyms power cages have racks and bars on the backside for OHP
>gyms crowded, young boomer starts using same cage as me for squats as I’m OHPing
>no big deal, that’s why I’m not in the cage OHPing like a douche bag
>so we’re facing each other, about 2 feet apart, & this boomer fuck starts his set right after me
>make solid eye contact for 2/3rds of my set
>proceeds to do the same thing for the next 2 sets
>finish workout, remain distributed to this day

>remain distributed
What?

Maybe his warmup was squatting the bar then his OHP 5RM? And he had no squat work-set because he was worried about his quads being too big?

I can't make sense of the deadlifts though. He was pulling the same weight he had just been pressing?

No man, he was using the same olympic bar for Squats, OHP and deadlift. Not same weight but the same fucking bar for 3 widely different excercises

NEWFAGS LEAVE
GET OUT

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You can do them all with a straight bar. I don't see the problem.

Wow, I never understood it was the same bar, not weight. Now I understand why this guy got laughed at

Still very distributed even years later

I go to a gym no one in the area really knows exists. There are three others but this one does a family membership and has a pool, dojo, squash, gymnasium, etc, so we get a lot of pic related. I don't mind because the gym is always quieter than the others. Just one of the recent stories;

>taken too much beta alanine and citrulline malate
>everything itchy and tingling, wanna rip my eyes out
>head to only squat rack to get my highbars in
>fucking noodle arms with immaculate hair and shoes using rack to load up 15kg plates into bar for bent over rows
>could wait but cannot be fucked about this cunt. Grab bar from wall and walk over his bar while he is plating up, stick my bar in position.
>he Takes his bar off to do his set.. faces mirror, I don't, so I'm facing the boy while I squat and he does bent over rows.
>each set I step forward more and get closer to him, the squat rack is too high for my squats anyway so I tend to squat just outside of it.
>keep making eye contact while squatting. Everything tingling and I'm angry for no reason, sweating like a pig looking like a 28 year old boomer madman.
>poor kid backs the fuck off to the bench press.
>while he is resting after his first lmao1/2pl8 set, a group of kids his age but stronger just throw his plates off and start benching.
>this kid keeps moving around the gym but keeps getting pushed off what he is doing for being a passive twink.
>eventually he is working his hips on the aducctor machine like the good little twink he is.
>in changing rooms I step out of the shower with towel hiding my junk.
>see the twink. I don't know why but I drop the towel and walk past him naked and get dressed in front of him. Keep lookig over at him and making eye contact.

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>every room in my house has tile
>my yard is 80% sand and neighbors are creeps
>cleaning lmao2pl8 for The Press(tm)
>learned better form for the sake of the tiles
Fuck a gym nigga

>Fucking EARBUDS in a gym that already blasts music
Tons of people are in gym with earbuds, me included. Why I should listen to some radio pop songs when I can listen what I want?

And what’s wrong with doing FIRST set with empty bar? I always do like 20 reps with empty bar before putting on weights.

You’re fucking insecure weirdo.

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You're fucking new, kiddo.

>blaming supplements for being an utter cunt
You do sound like a boOmer. Kys

Never blamed them. Openly admitted I was a cunt. You fucking 17y/o millenials are too sensitive.

>Alone at gym
>Guy comes in, takes a few dumbells in his hands
>Walks to the mirror
>Doesn't even lift them
>Puts them back and leaves, doesn't come back

Another one

>Again alone at gym
>Guy comes in and does a lat pulldown with like 35 kilos with absolutely horrible form
>Puts the weight pin to the maximum
>Literally hangs on the bar with his whole body weight
>We make eye contact as he is hanging from the bar for a few seconds
>He leaves
>Never see him again

you forgot the belt and squatting shoes, ffs

dead hang on lat machine masterrace

this is the oldest pasta in the book, lurk moar before commenting you waste of skin

>Be just starting out
>First time at the gym later than 6pm
>Its fairly empty
>5 pakis enter
>They're talking amongst themselves
>The guy in front loudly exclaims that he could beat up everyone in the gym
>All the others seem to agree
>They distribute themselves around the gym
>King Paki walks towards my area
>pls_no.benchpress
>Starts benching next to me
>He's visibly and audibly struggling with /the bar/
>Manages to do 7 reps
>Loads up lmao ½plates
>Tries to unrack. He fails
>He yells "EOW WALLAH SPOT ME EOW" into the room
>3 his 4 lackeys come running
>3
>one for each side and one to deadlift it
>King Paki and half his kingdom manages 3 reps before he gets up and calls the group over
>4th guy has been doing 10lb 1-arm db curls since he got there
>They leave
>4th guy only ever did one of his arms
>Must've done like 60 reps
>Continue my routine for a while
>Curlpaki shows up 20 minutes later and does his other arm then leaves again.

I have no idea what this group was trying to accomplish

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Pretty surprised people fell for this bait

Laughed hard at this. Wtf were you thinking

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>after workout
>locker room
>grab stuff to clean myself
>some two guys sits next to my locker
>few seconds later
>big guy approaching
>saw him before
>calling him steroids kings because he might be built well but way he looks or walk remind a zombie
>stands in front of two boys
>get the fuck out of here pricks!
>they look scared
>they left
>look at him
>dude you should chillout
>MIND YOUR OWN BUISNESS FAGGOT
>he pushes my stuff on the floor
>feel anger
>hit him in the face
>nose bleeding
>panicked pack everything and run away
>hear only
>I WILL FIND YOU MOTHERFUCKER
I've never came back to that gym. I go furhter now but I will never go back to the old one

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>all these replies
Newfags needs to get the fuck out

LETS ACTUALLY GO

Wtf is up with the NL stuff on fit today?

I don't know, it's retarded

Funniest shit in this thread

I forgot I responded to that and I got a good chuckle after reading your post.
Thanks.
I do have friends. More than I'd like, most of the time.
We (I) make gay jokes with them all the time. That post was legitimately too gay to be a joke.
I was compelled to post not once, but twice, in response.
I know you don't know me, but trust me on this one; this really says something about the quality (read: gayness) of the post.

>Curlpaki shows up 20 minutes later and does his other arm then leaves again.
Maybe he was just going along with his retarded friends.

>saturday, late in the morning
>doing squats today
>finish back squatting, start front squatting
>notice through the mirror out of the corner of my eye there's a girl staring at me during my sets
>she's a little over the thicc side, but face is cute as fuck. Black hair, blue eyes, up turned nose, etc
>rack my bar and sit on safety rail of squat rack to rest
>look over and she's still staring at me, looks flustered when I notice her
>"y-you squat really deep..."
>i just smile and say thank you
>she disappears
>finish doing legs thinking about clapping her cheeks

>doing squats again following week
>finish my back squat set
>guy i occasionally chat with walks up to me
>"hey man. no homer, but you have a nice ass"
>lol thanks bro
>can't decide if he was mirin or wanted to fuck me

GET YOUR ASS BACK HERE.

Pics or you don't have friends

I hope you make it with that braphog, friendo.

pic related I took at some fitness convention I went to with my friends
friends don't put their friends faces on the internet just to prove a point

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LMAO

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my sides

F

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>bike to gym on a 2.4 mile route that I tell people is 2.5
really thought this line would have relevance later

I do this kinda thing and also feel like it's important even though obviously nobody else does. I assumed the other poster was just being autistic by mentioning it.

S U M M E R

>walk into gym
>remember that i'm a manlet
>waddle out of gym

Critical hit

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>he doesn't distribute his almonds

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