Anyone else here /dying/?

I'm sorry to hear that dude. You seem to have somewhat accepted it given how lighthearted you're acting about it, yet you still made this thread, if you wanna get talk about stuff or get some shit off your chest feel free. I'm gonna save this thread to remember you existed.

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Three years in remission from non-Hodgkin's lymphoma and due to go for tests in a couple of months. Absolutely terrified. I want to die, but I sure as hell don't want it to be like that.

No gf for too long, doctor says there's nothing they can do now.

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That's the type of cancer I had. I just got in remission a month ago. fricking chemo man

>fricking chemo man
A bit of friendly advice, brobot. And hang in there. It does get less pants-shittingly terrifying after a while, at least until something comes around to make it feel real again.

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no, I'm out of treatment. I'm just saying chemo sucks.

Overall I wasn't terrified or anything, in fact I used it to my advantage to recover from a shitty semester of school and take a break for a little while. But chemo sucked ass.

Almost died myself from congestive heart failure and pulmonary hypertension in the lungs. Went on ECMO life support for 9 days then got my organs and tripped balls from all the dilaudid and ICaU psychosis.

If you're dying, abuse the shit out of the dilaudid. It feels so fucking amazing. I miss it everyday.
>the fucking rush when they put it in the IV

Pic related.

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>It does get less pants-shittingly terrifying after a while, at least until something comes around to make it feel real again.

At a certain age I realized, as in it really hit home, that this is you, me, and all of us. We're all going to die, some people just know when sooner than others. Life is a terminal condition. If we make it to old age it just becomes a waiting game. I've watched enough relatives go through it to know the process. My parents are in the early stages where they're managing their decline but can no longer pretend it isn't happening. In a few years the check ups will be treatments, then after that it will be managing symptoms forever until one of the causes just can't be managed anymore, and then the doctor visits will become overnight, then for several days, then like OP there will be a day they leave the house never to return, and they'll just wait to die, and then they'll be dead, and not long after that I'll start needing checkups too. Childhood seems like a dream once you reach midlife. Soon nobody will remember us. It will be as if we never even were here.

OP I have a request. Could you post your astrological natal-chart?
Nostradamus died of congestive heart failure.

Good luck on the other side OP. You will be missed.

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I think he passed away. RIP OP.

I'm back, fell asleep for a bit.

wtf is an astrological natal-chart?

>the fucking rush when they put it in the IV
fucking right?

Nah cancer is heavily metastasized so it wouldn't do any good

thank you, i guess it'll be cool that someone here will remember I existed

fuck dude, congrats on remission. A guy in my PMR ward had non-hodgkins lymphomia and he wasn't having fun

Chemo was shittttttttttt. I'm almost glad that wasn't an option this time.

I'm sorry to hear that, user. I'll pray that your last days are peaceful ones.
As for dying, I'm not dying, but my body is starting to go to absolute Hell health-wise in my late twenties. My back is in constant pain, my joints are messed up and in pain all the time, I have a hard time digesting food properly, regular kidney stones, and I'm always extremely fatigued regardless of how much or little that I do. These are problems that I've had for years, but they've become a lot more pronounced in the last couple of years. I'm rail thin as a result of all of this nonsense. Hardly a day comes where I feel "right" and don't have some nagging problem that sticks out.
Your position serves as sort of a sobering reminder that I should be grateful, though.

Are you just playing the waiting game now or something?

fuck comparative suffering. what you're going through sounds like unforgivable bullshit. I hope you find a way to get back on your feet.

yeah pretty much. they can't stop the cancer from spreading so now it's just about making me "comfortable"

Ah, a fellow cancerbro. I unfortunately or fortunately managed to beat mine, and it's been in remission for a few years now. Doctors aren't sure if it will act up again, but for now I'm still alive. I actually got used to the idea of dying. Now I'm not so sure if I want to.

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nah living is definitely better

i was thinking of pros and cons of dying and weirdly enough, my biggest regrets about dying were things like never knowing how a tv show ends, not knowing if people will ever get to mars, wondering if a reunified korea will happen in my lifetime.... shit like that.

when you die yeah suffering goes away blah blah blah, but your *timeline* ends, and with it, your participation in history ends.

Aside from the terror of non-existence, not knowing what happens next really does piss me off. Life is fucking interesting, and dying is a bit like coming in late to a movie and then leaving right when you start being able to follow the plot

>dying is a bit like coming in late to a movie and then leaving right when you start being able to follow the plot

you 100% get it

Damn
I'm so sorry
You've got real problems
I'll be praying for you

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thanks bro

make sure you keep reading

there's a lot of interesting shit in this world

Feel for you man, you can call me hypocritical and self-delusional but I'm trying to earn these 80k$ or at least 25k$ it takes to buy cryopreservation. I want to have at least a small chance to see the future with my own eyes.
I understand that many people, especially those in pain or weakness due to deadly illness don't want to live. Maybe I'll die this way to. Still, I hope to avoid it.

>tfw youngest person the hospital has treated with my sort of cancer
Haha I accomplished something suck it nerds.

Reminder that Jow Forums will improve if you go to the back of the catalog and bump good threads like this one.

yeah, it's a long and arduous but definite process. I was born with vascular Ehlers Danlos Syndrome so I'm going to bleed out sooner or later which is why I'm seriously contemplating suicide.

Damn, after watching all that faggy anime your body finally decided to kys itself, huh?

I will remember you user. I remember all good threads.

i may be dying of cancer but at least I'll never be a tripfag

...chris
...is that you?

it's n.a.

Did you watch that anime, OP?

Was it bad?

actually it is, but I can't seem to recall your initials so I don't know if this is just probability talking or something else. I'm also in a horrible rut so sorry if I've forgotten you along the way. :/

last initial is K, in case that helps any.

no, not K. that's a hell of a coincidence. you both have ED with vascular defects

idk if it means anything to you, but that scared the shit out of me. im sure theres someone in your life that would feel the same.

it's an incredibly rare condition for sure, so that is pretty freaky
oh, don't worry. Most people just view me as a nuisance and good for nothing; I'm not going to fret over the possibility that they still care because that's as absurd as my existence

Man this hit me really hard. My uncle just died. The feeling is so tangible to me right now

>childhood seems like a dream

Gabu is underage