/SIG/ - Self Improvement General

he was larping in some other thread

How much do you play? I think its fine as long as you limit yourself to a certain amount a day. If it bothers you so much, play for an hour or an hour and a half a day and do something else for the rest of it.

honestly, I don't play a lot. I think I waste more time on youtube or Jow Forums.

Reposting for new thread.

>start self improvement
>refuse to be a victim anymore and make excuses for my failures
>dad who never acheived anything in his life takes my life gainz as a form of attack
>gets really pissy with me all the time

What is it about improving yourself that makes others mad instead of wanting to do the same thing? They try to sabotage you at every point.

What is this mentality that they hold that if they can't do it, nobody should?

Shave head, take care of acne and get fit.

Thats pretty much all you can do. You only have everything to gain and nothing to lose. Try it and see if it works, if not you're in the same place you were before.

1. Realize that fapping is just a symptom of whatever "bad" thing it is that you're experiencing. We fap because we can and because of the huge psychological stress of living in the modern world.

2. The reason you don't hear stories of men who've *never* masturbated is the same reason that, while there are short-term "success" stories with nofap, you never hear the long-term (2-3 year and on) stories of their "success". Life has too many variables to think that not masturbating is the key to changing your destiny.

3. The only actual reasons to (temporarily) stop fapping are because you're truly addicted (if you're not masturbating as you're reading this, you're probably not addicted) or if you have porn/fap-induced ED. Pretty much every other reason is fraudulent, or it fixes a symptom but not the underlying cause(s) of your problems.

---

As you attempt to improve yourself, you will eventually see your quick fixes for what they are: wastes of time that only shroud the real issues in your life.

crab in a bucket
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crab_mentality

Other people don't want you see succeed.
This tells them that they themself suck.
But this shows you, you are on the right path. Please do not get mad and angry with these people, understand why they are like that and go on.

> We fap because we can

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On week three of cutting. Realized I have to start counting calories and Macros after losing 10lbs(4.5kg) but I seem to be stuck at 180. I did my tdee and it told me my ideal weight should be 140 for my height and age. My plan is to be at 165 then find a gym and start lifting. Been doing body weight workouts for now and basically just jumping rope for cardio. My first day I fasted for 24 hrs and I felt fantastic and it pushed me and my behavior changed. Every other time I tried losing weight I gave up after a week because I was always hungry. And it probably had to do with wanting instant results and basically trying to cut too many calories per day.

I'm finding more motivation to do other things as well. I'm becoming more efficient and faster at work.

Thanks user. It helps a lot. I also have to be sure about myself and my actions and not let them bring me down to their level.

I can't let self-doubt destroy my agency. You're right about not getting upset. They aren't in control of themselves. Its my responsibility to understand and forgive them for their actions.

Quit porn first and try to reduce the amount of times you tap per week

One important thing is to be aware how the human psychology works.
Why people are reacting and behaving like they do.

> meme book incoming
How to win friends and influence people

Right, and now you try to seem higher than him in some sense. You have to understand that one's success is someone else's chance to laugh.

There are whole communities of people who can be seen as successful and who laugh at lifters. Ever known that woman who lifts, has a younger boyfriend, and has a controlling attitude in most spheres of her life? Good, now she may be thinking that others hate her success. Well, nope, others just laugh at the fact that she's a neurotic fuck.

You don't give us any context to your situation. Who knows, what if you're a prick to your father?

>>refuse to be a victim anymore
>proceeds to tell us he's a victim of his dad's antics

Yes, because you've done absolutely nothing wrong and your dad is just out to get you because you're improving yourself. Yep. Makes total sense.

>been promoted twice since January
>finally have an idea of what I want to do with my career
>moved out of my mum’s house up to London (less money but more independence)
>joined the gym again, still a weak as fuck lanklet but enjoying it
>gone from paying £20 per month for a pile of shit gym that hasn’t been changed in 15 years, no air con or heating and old broken equipment to a brand new gym (The Gym if anyone’s interested) for £23 a month
>got a fuck buddy who’s a qt (but a bit dull)

Feeling good lads, diet’s getting back on track and I need to continue my reading on the stoics but I’m happy

I agree. You guys are only seeing this from my perspective. Unfortunately you can't read it from his perspective.

You're right I have been a prick. I've been a sad sack of shit who made every excuse in the book for why I wasn't happy. I blamed everyone for the things happening to me.

I'm working extremely hard on becoming a man I can be proud of. I hope one day he sees that.

Being a victim to me means that I can blame others for my lack of success and progress as a human being. I wholly accept my own responsibility to myself.

Being a victim means letting others determine how you live your life. I was just trying to express myself and find support among others who may experience the same thing. I'm not blaming him for my problems.

Okay, I'm not gonna push my ethics on you, but you live under some severely flawed assumptions and your distinctions between happy/unhappy, progress/stagnation are quite odd. If you wish to take an unsolicited advice, then I'd suggest reading some philosophy.

I believe in you bro, you do

I agree. My truth, is probably very different than yours, but for me it works.

I spent a lot of time and my lack of progress and stagnation of my life is what caused my depression.

For me being happy is progressing in life. In making my life better day by day, I am giving myself the ability to look the the future and be hopeful.

Maybe I've swung too far in the opposite direction, but right now this is what I need.

checked

Can you grow facial hair? If so some might distract from your bizare proportions

Ok, I am looking for sane advice and since SIG used to be on Jow Forums it is perhaps worth a shot. So, I am guy in my late twenties, engaged to a beautiful girl, at end of my m.a studies (prolonged due to depression) and I am trying to get my life in order. So, my problem is like that, I was always slightly depressed since beginning of puberty and struggled with autogynephilia - mostly through imagining myself as lesbian. Beside that I was normal kid and later teen and had pretty normal life, with (male) friends and relationships with girls. However around 22 it have started to go worse and I broke mentally at 25/26 and started experiencing real dysphoria. How to get rid of that? I want to put myself back on normie track.

I will share one technique that I used and it tremendously helped me overcome anxiety and depression. It's not a cure for all your issues, but it may be a good starting point.

When you are anxious, depressed, or something happened, do the following using a simple journal and a pen:

1)Write down hard physical facts. Things that could have been observed by anyone. Write it down in couple of short sentences. I will give an example:

I pushed my coffee cup over the table.
It fell on the floor.
It smashed into pieces.
I picked them up and put them into the thrash.

2) Now make a BIG line, and write down your feelings afterwards.

I was anxious.
Feel like shit.
Not feeling good in general.

Why the big line? You realise that everything under the line is what happened AFTER the physical facts, and that it is only an illusion. It's not real. Only what happened and could have been observed was real and the rest is just changeable fluff.

If you have any questions about that, let me know.

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Just having a really shit day bros. Aggravated, exhausted, and just fed up with life's bullshit today. What do I do on a day like this? How do I break this shitty feeling?

You don't. Learn how to live through a shitty day, and don't try to run away searching for nice feelings.

Well ok not sure how that helps but thanks anyway user

I've lost my motivation. I had this webm from here of some random Asian girl walking up to her bf and putting her head on his hand.

That was my goal. I started lifting for that, and now it's gone.

It's made me realize that, I will never get it. And it's a fucking load of shit to even go through. I've already downed an entire pizza tonight, now I'm on my 4th beer.

One fucking webm my dudes. I'm such a faggot

this isn't QTDDTOT

get a REALLY short haircut (not buzzcut tho) and hope that you pack on muscle well

meditate

What they said is right, learn to appreciate each day as it is, the good and the bad feelings, and learn to accept the moment. You will never improve if you do not accept yourself first. That doesn't mean becoming complacent, it just means you aren't angry or upset at your situation or how you are. From there real improvement will come.

Yes, that was pretty gay, but you can get back on the horse tomorrow, Hell, finish your beer now and say it's your last for the night, turn off your computer and read a book and get a good nights rest, then wake up early in the morning and do something you've always wanted to do, or work on a project.

And also, don;t say you'll be alone forever. Remember, your attitude is everything, and a girl can sense when you're desperate and just want "a gf, any gf". That's pretty unappealing to a girl, they want to be wanted specifically. Don't you? So, get to know some girls first, without planning on dating any of them, talk to them just for the sake of it, throw the idea of dating them out the window. If any like you, they'll stick around past the "is this guy trying to fuck me as fast as possible" threshold if you haven't made any moves, these are girls that are good for you. Then you can make moves as you please. This is specific information for the situation you seem to be in, some guys can get away with implying theyre dtf asap and it works, but it doesn't work for everyone, and it seems to not be working for you.

Big ass beard, short haircut (above buzz), lots of muscle.

I think im in a bad place

>23
>hate my job
>only make 50k
>drive almost an hour to work each way
>have beautiful expensive apartment with gf
>said gf kinda cheated on me a few years ago
>still with her and am in pretty deep

I dont know how to get out of this slump. Part of me just wants to quit and move on my own. But i have a ton of furniture and i dont want to break my lease again. Im also worried she might try and kill herself if i leave.
The other part just tells me to stay. Despite our past shes really great and wife material. She cooks, cleans, and is pretty loyal.
What do i do fit? Am i cuck if i stay? She never fucked anyone else, just flirted and went on a date behind my back while were on and off? Should i move, should i quit my job? Im stressed as fuck.

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I have a very important question for y'all.

You know how there are different types of blankets and covers?
There's the one that is clearly thick, normal fabric, almost comparable to curtains in texture.
Then there's the more synthetic feeling stuff, that's very smooth to the touch.

Now what I need to know is what specifically is the type that is very puffy called? You know the one that manages to remain puffed up and makes that weird noise when it moves? That one.

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>Despite our past shes really great and wife material. She cooks, cleans, and is pretty loyal.
I think you answered your own question. Maybe you're just mixing your bad experience with her with all of the other shit going on with you?

>>said gf kinda cheated on me a few years ago
Story?

>going through rough patch in college
>tell her im bored and dont want to date
>were kinda on and off
>get suspicious shes talking to others
>go through phone and find out she is

Something along the lines of that. It felt things were good when i found out, like we were still dating. She went on a date with some other guy.

nigger it sounds like she didnt do anything all that bad given the circumstances and your initiation of them.

Yea i guess. The whole thing was kinda fuzzy. I just remember she slept over kne night and went through her phone and found out she flor ting with some guy. Afterwards i told her were done dating but would still fuck and hang out. Then i found out she was dating some guy and felt like i needed to lock it down

To your knowledge she's never fucked anyone else. Girl's lie A LOT. That date was more than a date; if you pressed her about it her trickle truth would lead to the real truth. You fucked up staying with her

I pressed hard, for a long time. She swears nothing ever happened. No kiss, nothing. Plus i read all the texts.

S-source?

Honestly if she did this while you guys were broken up it wouldn't be considered cheating.

I'm getting my shit together but I started hanging out with an old derelict friend. Ended up buying $50 of white-girl. Hardly made it into work this morning because I was up all night blowing yayo. I feel like a bag of shit.

You have fucked up priorities dumbass

Honestly it was complicated. I remember telling her i didnt want to be with her and i was bored the relationship. That hurt her bad but we still acted like we were dating. It was a weird fucked up time.

Like a hypoallergenic duvet?
I get what your describing but I've only seen it w/r/t pillows, but I suppose duvets could use it too.

Take it from me, there are a ton of people who are being held down by those people, and the people who are being held down need your help to lift them back up. I've seen it a thousand times. You improve your life, and magically the lives of people who respect you improve as well.

Do it for them.

How do I stop being stupid and foolish, and being a beta pushover that lets others push him around? Nobody respects me

sites.google.com/site/hackbookeasypeasy/
The whole thing, don't skim don't skip.
Just a little bit a day every day for a while.

Let go. You have to let go.

>>said gf kinda cheated on me a few years ago
my advice would be distance yourself regardless of if she does it again she managed to morally justify it to herself once, she managed to convince her it wasn't that bad so that means she could do it again and if she can justify that to herself imagine what else she could justify

I aint aiming to give up, and I've got a good routine and diet, but still have awhile before Im at a good body-fat level. It totally eats with my self confidence. Its just hard sometimes; could have flirted with the sample girl at the grocery store but instead ran away like a coward. Just feeling burnt out senpai; tfw no gf

I thought this book is just pretentious thing, that every wannabe intellectual claims to read, but it's really spoken to me on deep personal levels. Some of the quotes feel like straight from the Bible, except they are better worded and don't use so much metaphors, therefore they are easier to grasp. Amazing how relevant many of his observations are even after 2000 years.

What I like the most, is that most of the famous motivational speakers are just that - they rarely have any notable success besides their motivation speeches/literature. But this guy was a fucking Roman emperor, leading one of the most powerful empires in history and you can geniunely tell this book was not written to be "commercial success".

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The thing is you have to respect yourself. What that means is putting yourself first always.

You need the mentality that if you're locked in a room with a button, and the room is going to fill with gas, but if you push that button it redirects it to a room next to you, with someone in it.

You need to push that button. You need to not feel guilty about it. You've been the pushover who lets people manipulate and take from you.

Right now you need to fucking take it back. Don't give a shit if people like you. Fuck em. Being a pushover wins no respect and makes no friends. Nobody appreciates you as much as you think they should.

Respect yourself, your body. Make good decisions today, make them tomorrow. Do whats best for you, no matter what other people think, or want.

Thanks for the motivation to read it. I think I'll go to the bookstore and buy it and Machaveli's The Prince.

That reminds me I should continue my reading of Adolf Hitlers rise to power. Its very motivating in a weird way.

Hitler was a neet for years and just decided. I'm going to be the fucking dude who leads my people. Maybe not the right direction, but the dedication is admirable.

I want to be a lawful good hitler one day.

Go for it. It's one of the few books where it's worth to own the physical copy imo. I purchased ebook in my language for 3€ and put it into my Kindle and now I'm finding myself wanting to list back to reread some passages again. I will probably go for second read sometimes in the nearby future, this time using the highlight feature to mark quotes I like the most and then export them somehow, so I can have them at hand.

>Machaveli's The Prince
That's on my to-read list as well.

Gotta get those mind and body gainz. One day we will be leaders among others. I think that is my calling.

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I have a whole month free of any responsibilities and I want to run a GVT + heavy bulk.
Are there any quality materials on this type of routine? I've got a week to plan myself before starting it.

Ah, you know what. That sounds about right.
Thanks user.

Been struggling with alcoholism a lot the past year

Really impacts badly on cardio and gym, gonna try to cut it out by exercising as much as possible

Wish me luck!

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Getting in shape and building healthy habits bit by bit. Doing a sort of starting strength type workout in the gym, trying to do 5 sets of 5 reps in squat, bench press and deadlift, three times a week. Probably gonna add the OHP to it for variation after a few weeks once I gain some strength and get the techniques down, maybe do some front squatting instead of regular back squatting too. We'll see.
Trying to eat more healthily too, and a bit less or in better proportions since I got a lot of fat to lose, but I know it has to be a slow and steady process, which it is right now. It feels good to do and achieve something, can't even do a 60kg (20kg plates) deadlift yet (although gonna try next time since cleared 55kg) but I've only gone to the gym four times now so lots to do.

Isn't that basically stronglifts?

Pretty close, yeah. Looking at SL, it has the barbell row in workout A, 5x5, then in workout B bench press is substituted with 5x5 OHP and barbell row with 1x5 deadlift. I don't have that much variation though, but I think after a week or two of squat, bench and deadlift I might want to try doing SL and sticking to that. I'm just easily intimidated by forms and techniques and want everything to be tip top and I don't trust myself to do shit correctly, but I have a few buddies who go to the gym and lift, might go with them to another gym to check out the new techniques. I'm still in baby steps.

I have a pea sized mass 2-4 inches above my left heel and it only fully appears when I'm in deep squat position. Is it hernia? And if it is will it grow bigger?

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Anyone been doing Zen meditation regularly here? Any books you advice on zen?

See a doctor mate. Even if it were a hernia it's abnormal enough to warrant an expert opinion.

Finding it real hard to stay productive this summer because of the hot weather. I'm even more tired after workouts. All I feel like doing is laying in bed avoiding the heat. It's also tempting to stay up late when it's colder but no good can come out of that.
Does anyone have any tips?

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Squatting and Deadlifting on the same day is not ideal.
Why make your own homebrew program when you can just follow the better SS or SL memes?

I do want to follow a program but right now, when beginning, I'm a bit afraid of the techniques and wondered if building basic strength with squat/bench/diddly would be better before going for OHP, for example. But, then again, that's what OHP and barbell rows do too. So I don't really have an excuse. I just want a more experienced friend of mine to check out my form and give me tips before doing the moves with weights.

It's quite normal. Summers are super non-productive for me, even though I have more free time on hands. There are good circumstances to do stuff and then there are bad ones. That much can be said.

IIRC when he wrote it he had no intention of releasing it, but after he died someone found it

Reminder to MEDITATE DAILY
Even meditating for just 20 min a day will have noticeable effects within a week
And in 2 weeks you will have SUPERPOWERS
Not even joking.

>consistently hitting my 5 minute timer mediating
>can now comfortably sit in half lotus
>starting to get easier and almost enjoyable
going to increase by five minutes a week until I reach 20 mins

Okay, what is the purpose of meditation, lads? If it's just to feel better, admit it's just mindfulness and therapeutic methods.

news.harvard.edu/gazette/story/2011/01/eight-weeks-to-a-better-brain/

>improves memory
>decreases stress
>increases empathy (note this doesn't just mean feeling sorry for others it means being able to relate to them, helps with social skills since you can understand the impact of your words better)
>improves cognition
>increases attention span

ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/22784346
>helps with anxiety and blood pressure

ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3060715/
>improves sleep

dailymail.co.uk/health/article-4583622/Don-t-painkillers-try-meditation-instead.html
>changes perception of pain leading to increased pain tolerance

news.harvard.edu/gazette/story/2012/11/meditations-positive-residual-effects/
>feel less fear

common self reported effects are things like increased awareness and appreciation, increased capability to cope with stress for me I've definitely noticed increased appreciation and motivation

also a good short video explaining how it works
youtube.com/watch?v=vXwDbP7gG9I

Good, that's mindfulness.

SS prescribes squatting and deadlifting on the same day though...

wtf that's so easy it feels like an infomercial

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How do I fix my voice Jow Forums.

It's not that bad but it has that sort of wet quality that some autists online tend to have.
I can't work out how to get rid of it, it's like my tongue is too big for my mouth or something retarded like that.

Fitness try to basically make my daily routine a bit more intense. I'm basically trying to get to the point where I'm running early morning, lifting heavy around noon, and doing an AMRAP/interval sesh in the late afternoon to hit the goals I'm trying to achieve. I'm also thinking of trying out Muay Thai just to do something different. General life wise, I'm pretty much focused on this CS course I'm taking over the summer and getting more into infosec. Also trying to read more as I used to be a big reader and stopped when I started getting into the tech stuff. Definitely want to keep my calculus skills up as I take vector calc with a hard prof in the fall. I'm also learning Arabic, which is fun and so I try to also do a bit of that everyday. I also have gone somewhat voluntary celibate / ignored one night stands and random hookups in order to focus on other shit.
My first routine? Pushups, pullups, v-ups, jump-squats, and I think lunges? I'm not a "calisthenics guy" but I do try to get them in consistently at the end of the day.
Meditation is dope. Honestly, even just spending 5 minutes in the early morning before going to the gym sitting down, breathing slowly in and out, and not thinking will help immensely if you don't want to do the whole thing.

/SIG, I would like to call your attention to the best "Manliness" Podcast on the internet - Jockos Podcast.

Pic related.

From Wiki:

"John Gretton Willink (born September 8, 1971)[1] is an American podcaster, author, and retired United States Navy SEAL. He received the Silver Star and Bronze Star for his service in the Iraq War.[2] Willink was commander of SEAL Team Three's Task Unit Bruiser during the Battle of Ramadi. Jocko graduated from the University of San Diego in 2003 with a bachelor's degree in English. Together with fellow former SEAL Leif Babin, Willink wrote the book Extreme Ownership and founded the consulting firm Echelon Front. Willink hosts a weekly podcast with friend and Brazilian jiu jitsu practitioner Echo Charles, called the Jocko Podcast."

Listen to it when youre driving. Its packed with tons of good information and philosophy.

>military analysis and how it applies to the real world
>leadership
>exercise
>diet

tons of great stuff that would really improve our generation.

Boomers need not listen.

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I need guidance brahs. Please lend me any advice.

>unable to continue my current work due to health
>school is the only option
>missed the fafsa deadline for the local CC
>can't even read for more than 20 minutes
>wanna major in civil engineering or construction management

How do I get ready brahs? I might be dumb but I am a hard worker.

20 minutes into one of their podcasts. Super cringy. What do you actually like about it?

Meditation is pretty damn good, I've been doing it just about every weeknight for a few weeks now, I feel less stressed, can go to bed easier (I do it before bed) and I get to clear my head at night. Fucking ace!

meditation increases brain power and attention span, also what health issues? and why is school the only option why not get a different job?

never tried it before bed, usually do it when I wake up to prepare for the day, going to give it a try see if it helps if it does guess I'll be meditating twice a day

Chronic pain from an unhealed injury that's preventing me from continuing my electrician gig. What else is there if I can't do trades or money to start a business.