ITT: Times you showed your power level, maximum or not

fucking based

and I totally agree tattoos are fucking trash

This made me smile.

>6 years ago
>be dumb teenager
>liftan' for a solid 8 months or so, squats and oats lmao xD
>bench 265 lbs, actually manage a double the first time I lifted that much (6' ~160lb lanklet at the time, pretty happy with myself, inb4 estat) a couple days prior
>outside doing yard work in summer, mowed lawn, pulled weeds, now putting mulch down around some bushes
>hot as fucking balls and muggy, take shirt off not even trying to show off but it's legitimately over 100 degrees and very humid
>father doing yard work out front, comes to back yard, sees me and starts calling me birdchest, making fun of smol frame
>git buttmad, flex, no homo (i hate that the humor of this story relies on the fact that my father saw my bare flexed chest which can be interpreted as pretty gay)
>striations in middle of chest
>"woah son what the hell was that?"
>explain striations with my epic knowledge scoured from shitposting on Jow Forums for over 1000 hours
>"that's pretty cool looking son"
>sperg out and quickly reply "nah dad it's shit genes" in a rapid and aspie manner, Jow Forums has thoroughly hammered my head with that opinion so I express it.
>we both stand there in silence for a minute
>my dad just staring off silent, utterly disappoint since his son just deeply insulted their shared genetics and wasn't even eloquent or intelligible about it
>me just >tfw as I realize I'm irredeemably autistic until my Dad turns around and gets back to work
>we don't talk for the rest of the day, I put my sweaty shirt back on and finish yard work then go into my room and shitpost on Jow Forums some more

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actual autism huh, interesting

>calls own chest shitty
>ends up insulting whole family

Jow Forums has poisoned your mind. Your chest genes are fine.

Aw, this one is sweet

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>be me blue belt bjj fag but no one suspects it cause no cauli and i rarely talk about it
>dick head army dude trying to alpha everyone in college
>wanting to grapple everyone
>you wanna roll user?
>sure.jpg
>he knew he fucked up when i single legged him
>transitioned to north/south and kimura'd the fuck outta him

I am now known as the "bad ass" in that class

Gay poster great a bjs

When I started I used to lift in a commercial gym without a power rack. I lifted off smith machine pins and bench without spotter. Rippletits and then another routine I dont recal. Other members looked scared for my safety. Anyway I lacked ommon sense further then and kept lidtinf till kicked out. Nowadays Id do replacement for dangerous stuff, though I keep doing stupid things and doubt will get common sense

>At show in 2016
>5-6 feet outside of a pit
>Short dude side-stepping through crowd and brushes right past me
>As he is sliding past me, he looks over his right shoulder directly into the middle of my rib cage
>Dude reaches as far as he can in the direction he was headed and then torques back and throws the biggest bow I've ever seen straight into my solar plexus
>Yelling along with lyrics, abs totally tensed- still almost made me pass out
>Spots clearing from vision and I see him running through the middle of the pit clearing and targeting people on the outskirts of it who weren't paying attention

(cont)

shut the fuck up junkie, tats are degenerate in every way

Same here, luckily like 9/10 of the guys there were former /b/ tards. Ive got a lotta Sephrdic and Ashkenazi jew in me so IDGAF anyways

fucking kek user

Btw this guy looked like a hipster Nigel Thornberry

>He's coming back in my direction
>I'm normally shy but I'm so fucking pissed
>He's now a few feet away from me and I shoot my arm between a few people and grab his arm
>Feel my fingers sink up under his bicep
>Dude is now shrieking in pain and his eyes are wide as hell
>Slowly one arm row this little shit til he's in my face, despite his squirming and screaming

I wasn't trying to sound tough and honestly what I said was lame but I was livid and blurted out "YOU AIN'T GONNA BE THROWIN' BOWS IN HERE, BOY."

I looked over at him while the headlining band was playing and EVERYONE there was having a great time and he was just staring off into space, looking neutered with his arms limply folded.

madman

w-wait i can make autism work too?

I audibly lol’d, this was the most hilarious thing Ive read in months on here

i hope this isnt real

>bring gf to family reunion
>whole family tries to mog me and humiliate me because they are bunch of faggots
>gf knows this and doesn't let any shenanigans happen, gets up to get me beer instead of letting me get one every time, knows her place
>both of my sisters bf's go in the basement and see my weights, call me out saying i can't lift it
>no warmups, proceed to OHP 180 lbs
>they both try to lift it and fail
>whole family is impressed
>I dont rub it in their face because im not some loser that needs to belittle them although I prob should of called them weaklings or something

I hate my family, they are quite pathetic that they feel the need to put down others around them.

They sound like incredibly shitty people

They are, I wish I wasn't associated with them but unfortunately its the only family I have.

Literally me. Gf was ok with it eventually tho

I'm veteran, boxed my whole life and competed on a national level.

>ex fling approach me at club
>oh fuck, not her again (was in love with her but we broke off cus she didn't want a relationship
>we chill for a bit and I ask her to dance.
>she leaves but says she'll come back again, okay.
>never comes back
>I stumble out of club drunk af
>see her at the end of the party street
>let me atleast get some pussy
>she's with 3 guys and her gf.
>"let me follow you home, who's these twats?"
>this is my boyfriend
>what? bertstare.jpeg
>I yell at her you're a fucking whore
>keep doing it untill guys tell me to relax.
>push bf and ask him what is he gonna do about it. call him a pussy for not defending his girl
>all 3 guys back off and leaves the girl with me.
>she breaks down crying and I leave.

toxic af but seemed pretty alpha. The guy wasn't really her bf she just wanted to piss me off. 2 weeks later she shows up at the same party where she knew i would be. fucking whore.

I doubt this happened but if it did your an insecure retard and a bad person.

>things only retards enjoy

Congratulations on your mental breakdown, alpha s fuck bro hehe

it did happen and you are complete right.

she got me fucked up. can't get over her and we keep meeting up when i'm drunk (accidentally). it's not healthy. i'm even seeing another girl ..

>in last year of hs
>somehow manage to become school captain
>other captain and I run assemblies in the morning for the entire senior school and we always have themes
>this time it's jokes, and I can only think of one
>walk up to mic
>"what's the difference between dead babies and sand?"
>a few murmurs and groans
>"I don't eat sand"
>lots of painful laughs, when I walk down a few teachers talk to me briefly
>deputy principal wants to see me at lunch

I then hid in the toilet for about an hour and went to the school office saying I was sick and got my mum to pick me up. The deputy never spoke to me but apparently a teacher at the school had gone through a few miscarriages that I didn't know about. Luckily it became a big joke and I became pretty well known for it but still, pretty autistic.

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>she knows her place
they probably bully you because you're an asshole.

>veteran
>boxer
It was either all the crayons you ate in the army or the punches to the head, but either way you're a top tier retard.

nice projecting there, asshole

i'm not the one thinking a girlfriend needs to know her place by bringung me beer.
What kind of an insecure troglodyte does someone have to be?

not as insecure as someone arguing about it on an iranian molecular message board

>m'lady

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>talking with sisters why it sucks looking bad
>they're like oh no you don't look bad
>tell them about only matching with fat girls on tinder
>they both go full fucking ham on my ass being like how dare I say that they're fat and how I should say women I'm not attracted to
>no fucking wonder why both are overweight and unable to lose weight
>meme 30 diets eating oranges and other lemon tea bullshit

Its a miracle I was able to not become a full beta being surrounded with such estrogen in my house and having a soiboi cuck dad.

i call out bullshit, i like doing that. someone like that doesn't deserve a safe space where no one opposes his douchebaggery.

>talks about douchebaggery
>is a douchebag himself
shiggy dig, well aren't you a genius boyo

explain to me how i'm a douchebag by calling out this kind of attitude, please.

what do you have to prove online by bringing this out? yes you are a douchebag by doing this, just accept it. you have nothing better to do at night go back to doing your minimum wage security job at a warehouse bob.

that's epic bantz, ur dad is a bitch if he can't take that sort of humor

nothing. i already explained why i'm doing it.
and i still haven't seen a reason from you why i'm a douchebag for calling it out. explain it, how am i an asshole for calling out an asshole?

>how am i an asshole for calling out an asshole?
I guess that makes you a hemorrhoid

because i'm a pain in the ass for people who sit around too much because they have their girlfriends bring them beer?

>he thinks his opinions matter online
sure thing kid...sure thing

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Kek,
Don't feel bad about it, it was pretty funny

the guy who posted it is probably so insecure, it actually does.

I accidentally snapped a broom in half while we were playing basketball. He quit my band later.

i lifted a caravan when the jockey wheel failed and it fell on my dad, was really easy but everyone treated me like i was fucking superman for a while

At least you arent bl*ck

>3 yesrs ago moved to a new town
>decide to find friends and ask local nerd shop about DnD groups
>call one guy that is trying to form a group and we start playing switching players until the core group is formed
>make Instagram accoumt and so do they, make a chat group
>because new in IG, find meme pages that are worth and to my liking
>one day bored as shit send them a drawing of grapekun (at the time when he died F) all muscular with a nazi armband
>they laugh and i dont know why i said this but I do
>"im pretty sure this was made by the same kind of people I relate to on the net"
>suddently realise i have been sending them nazi memes thst they just thought i liked dark jokes
>now they have realise I wasnt joking at all

At least they got less scared since I started crossdressing at animecons

Also fucking phoneposting making all kind of errors

Used to pin at the gym and take dbol pwo, some guy that works with my mum saw me throwing a (capped, I'm not a complete dickhead) needle in the bin and saw the dbol bottle on the bench next to my gym bag and told her.

happend half hour ago
>in store
>notice girl who works there has strong as fug jaw
>haha poor brad
>w-what
>how could you do that, his wife already left him, jaw was all he had left
>really, what did you feel when you were robbing him, how could you do that, hes so cute no homo(legit said no homo J U S T)
>w-what are you talking about?
>your jaw is like brad pits h-h-hehe
>h-ha-ha-ha she laughs with worried laughter

also
>instantly tries to keep it cool and asks me why i buy buckwheat so often and in such large amount
>i-im collcector

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I cant understand this

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Fpbp

>few weeks ago, going for a light run with a friend
>end run at the local "calisthenics park", basically publically available pullup and dip bars
>decide to have a friendly competition right then and there
>I'm 5'10, 160 lbs soaking wet, he's a 6'4 blacksmith who's practiced wrestling for years
>going for pyramids, "Israeli pushups" (we call them that, but I don't know the proper name: basically, two reps are one pushup, one situp, two pushups, two situps)
>the idea is going as far as we can raising reps, then come down to one (1;2;3;...3;2;1)
>he's exhausted at the sixth rep and has to come down
>I go relatively fresh up to 10 and back
>followed by pullups
>bang out 3x14
>"shit, user, you got yourself into shape this past year"

mfw

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Wtf are you saying?

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basically i just asked girl who had strong jaw why did she rob bradd pitt of his jaw

so the joke is she looks like angelina jolie?

just noticed you mentioned his wife leaving him, so no

dude wtf

no, joke is she robbed brad, took his jaw by force and put it on her face.

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pretty fucking funny

I can't be the only who loses my shit when I'm drunk, I started heiling and ranting about jews. Not good, shit like that could've landed me in jail here i Sweden

Did that too sometimes, but dont drink anymore.
But im german, so its allowed to do this shit. :3

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but how the fuck would she rob brad
does she know him
brad isn't known for his jaw

he is on Jow Forums

>this is your brain on 4 scoops

it's the way you're going about it, and your justification for it
also, getting as involved as you clearly are to the point of needing to respond instead of just being confident in your assessment and letting them ineffectually M'lady you
you fucking noob
you came off as a sjw instead of a normal, well-adjusted individual
Protip: give fewer fucks; not none, but fewer

I'm 6'2. Me and my 6'3 neckbeardy friend have been memeing manlets for months. It's getting so bad that as soon as we see a person below 6' who lifts, we cannot contain our laughter.

I don't get the broom thing, but I'm a 25yo boomer and I still thought it was funny

>At least they got less scared since I started crossdressing at animecons
kekkles

Someone from work saw me playing pokemon go once. Now everyone asks me how my pokemon are and if I've caught any pikachus lately.

what band was headlining?

Based.
Good on you to stand for what is right.
Same shit if someone asked me if I thought fat people were healthy. I just say no; don't need devulge farther.

brutal

46601915
pss

that's not the same shit
you didn't make a quality assessment about fatties
you bitched out in comparison
just don't want you thinking you're hot shit for no real reason

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that doesn't make sense in the slightest. not wanting assholes to have a safe space makes me seem like a douchebag?
finding it retarded that a woman should be a personal beer-servant seems sjw-ish?

and why wouldn't i discuss? i ignored the m'ladyfag but i was honestly curious about how you would reason.

of course you beat him in bodyweight stuff man, you're skinny as fuck

you're trolling, aren't you? you're pretty good at it
you had me going until you unironically used the term safe space and then followed it up with the implication that it's not sjw-ish
I'm not the same user you were originally talking to
I've made one prior post related to your blatant insecurity
>call someone a faggot for thinking the way they do
secure
>responding to all subsequent attempts to rile you up and not letting them find out the hard way, or not at all if you happen to be wrong or they happen to be lucky, from an opposing viewpoint
insecure
"I don't want you to have a safe space" is the epitome of tumblr-tier-sjw-holier-than-thou-but-not-really lexicon.
and this is for any innocently retarded bystander-anons:
It implies that the safe space actually exists.
It doesn't.
I was sitting here thinking you're both faggots.
They don't need to know that you think they're faggots, and you don't need to give them (anyone you disagree with) (You)s because it cements their thinking using whatever retarded logic created it in the first place, instead of letting experience be the personal moderator
best of luck, out there, in the scary internet

Similar story. Tried playing pokemon go when the whole world was hyped about it. Gf's mother heard about it. Keeps bringing in it up at inappropriate times during big family dinners. Wanted to get me a present this christmas related to pokemon. Thankful that gf said no to that.

>I'm 29

I told my girlfriend about my waifu. We banter about it, now. Never really let on that I was serious about it though, nor did I show her my waifu's SFW and NSFW folders.

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You could also say what I say.
>I'm a hipster I don't have any tattoos.
Shatters the special/unique illusion.

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The fuck are you on about

I understand exactly what you're saying and it is horrifying

lol

same

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