Alright Jow Forums so I fucked up and will be spending some time in prison...

Prison isn’t as bad as people make it sound if it’s light confinement

Eat food, do as much lifting as you can and then mind your own business. Take up buddhism or something.

did you get entrapped or did you do something stupid when high?

honestly prison wasnt that bad, 3 meals a day, a place to sleep and I knew a lot of people from the outside, most of them were friends.

A) How long are you doing? This, combined with B, is necessary to answer your gang question.
B) What kind of prison? This is really fucking key. If it's a level 1 then use this just as personal self improvement time. If you're gonna be in medium security, that's different. The rest of this will assume medium security.
1) Start a 5*5 full body program immediately.
2) Order Bronson's "Solitary Fitness" and develop a bodyweight routine that you will do in your cell.
3) Join a boxing/Muay Thai gym. Be up front with them and tell them you can't afford to spend all your time on footwork the way a good gym would normally do with a beginner. Find one that's willing to start you on striking and head movement immediately.
4) Join a Brazilian Jiu Jitsu gym and tell them the same thing until you find one that will accelerate you to some submissions/ground defense.
5) Read up on prison slang and tats. Don't use them as a fish but be familiar with them.

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what about a 6'3 230 pound guy with beginner lifts? how would i do in prison?

While inside:
1) Learn some fucking manners. Be polite to everyone; "excuse me" and "my bad" if you bump into anyone, don't touch people's shit, don't run your mouth about anything at all.
2) Follow the hierarchy. In every single prison there is a hierarchy, at the top of which is usually the baddest fish in the pool. If people fuck with you, there's a way to handle such things. If it's not direct confrontation, then approach the guy at the top of the foodchain and mention that you have an issue with the person and that you'd like the shit to stop. If it's direct confrontation but verbal, follow the same steps. If it gets physical, fucking kill the guy (but don't start it, and watch out for his friends). You won't be able to before you get pulled off, and at your size you've gotta make up for your physical disadvantage with aggression and technique. If the guy that you have a problem with is is the guy at the top of the hierarchy, find other people he has a problem with and stick together. Stay in public areas with guards at all times.
3) Don't get involved with gangs or other shit if you don't have to. No contraband, no fights you don't have to be in, nothing. Try to do your time and get out.

Worst fucking advice in the history of advice.

That's a good way to get killed by the set of the dudr you just punched or put more time on your sentence.

To OP
Just be a stand up dude. When people test you test them back. Word gets around fast if you start shit or are a bitch, or you're just a solid dude doing his time.

If You're white there will be a group of white dudes called peckerwoods with loose or no gang affiliation. Stick with some of them, find someone in for something similar and make sure he isn't a little bitch. You'll be judged by the company you keep harshly.

Also DO NOT take any "favor" from any one at any time for any reason especially when you firsy get it. It's not a favor, you'll be expected to return it on their terms and it can get ugly. Good luck

this is good advice, especially the no favors thing. nothing at all is free.

you watch too much tv user

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shit yourself and cover yourself with it daily

Prepare your angus

At least the upside is that you get to be some top dog’s bitch

answer me nigs

with this attention whoring attitude, probably not well.

i mog everyone tho

Ignore the no favors thing OP. You can get some really good snacks you wouldnt get otherwise

Forget trying to get strong, work on your social skills.

Grow your hair out and keep your body as androgynous/feminine looking as possible.

Last thing a dude in a gang wants is being called a fag for making a move on you. Also call them fags if they try to do so audibly so others hear them.

I have literally half a dozen friends that are prison guards. They say that trannies for the most part don't have a hard time in prison.

What drugs

trannies are a commodity in prison

How on earth does that work out. Are you sure they just don’t cause any trouble because they take it without a fight? Lol

You can still get strong in a short time. Work on your legs for a few weeks before you go in, mainly squats. They'll get bigger much faster than any other muscle. Also increase body fat like said.

I was surprised too to hear that. One dude then proceeded to tell me about this tranny terry crews looking motherfucker that nobody fucked with. Also said some use their looks to gain favor from high ranking gang members too. Seemed kinda confusing. Also getting passed around by a gang is a myth. What dumbass would literally cuck himself like that?

underateddddddddddddddddd

Fuckin kek

You can't mog a fuckin shank

>Learn some fucking manners. Be polite to everyone; "excuse me" and "my bad" if you bump into anyone, don't touch people's shit, don't run your mouth about anything at all.
Kek sounds like you wer da prison bitch

unless your a shot caller in prison you should do this. no reason to start trouble

Rule number 1: Never drop the soap and NEVER apologize.

I can tell you’ve never actually been to prison.

Never apologizing for shit liking bumping into people in prison is a good way to make a lot of enemies really fucking quick. Just saying "my bad" can disarm a lot of situations where you would get your ass beat otherwise.

I'm going to prison for fraud soon myself

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you'd get killed brah. everything is about respect. "my bad" is a way of showing you're not trying to dis somebody, so it diffuses the situation. otherwise, somebody will get their entire set to jump your ass.

Solid advice here brahs
>>Nohomotho

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yeah, this.

also watch (at 1.5 or 2x): youtube.com/watch?v=fzAy9w8B8LE

all police enforcing drug laws should be murdered

fact

Yeah man legalize crystal meth yeeehawwww

The illegality of the drugs creates the hyper-degeneracy.

I am correct. I am always correct because I refuse to believe in things that are false.

>redditspacing
Time to go back.

I wonder if decency, respectfulness and compassion work there. You all make it sound like jungle, no different than those common stupid evolutionary psychology views about normal society (alpha-beta, dominance, aggression, limited resources principle etc)

You cannot make me do anything on the internet or in real life.

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>I wonder if decency, respectfulness and compassion work there
It is if you want to be the jailhouse bitch.

Kek

Yep, just be civil with the guy trying to rape you. He'll totally sitdown and give you his life story.

Be sure and let the guards know if you see any shady activity. You definitely want them there for protection.

anus stretching x F

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as if the guards aren't profiting off the illegal activity

request solitary confinement or else your anus will look like a krispy kreme that's been left out too long.

kek underrated

All those fucking newfags...

Fucking lmao

He'll be getting plenty of organic protein with that strategy as well.

Do starting strength for 6 weeks.

This is good advice. Tried and true. I did this and I got bids to all the top prison gangs during rush week. I ended up pledging the Aryan Beotherhood. I liked prison. It was a good time.

Yeah squats, leg press, hip abductions, and a lot of glute work. You want a strong, tight bottom so that you can fend people off. Punching power comes from the legs.

if you have time:
unironically SS + GOMAD
this is one of the few situations where this is actually the right answer

Came here to post this. You might even want to start smoking weed so that you can sustain the appetite required to actually put on some weight. user, you need to be stuffing your face asap.

Oh fuckin lord

At a glance I thought this said you cant mog a shark. I mean, that's true too, but watch out for shanks in the water.

Act like the chillest, stoned hippy, like you're burned out all the time, no one wants to fuck with the local hippy, it makes you look like a dick.

haha join the white supremacy group and get raped by sharkishwas baby daddy

Start prepping with a butt plug. Thank yourself when shower time is a breeze - maybe even enjoyable.

haha