Need tinder help bros. Taking real suggestions, but dubs override

This might actually work desu

show vagene / bitch lasagna

Kek I got unmatched immediately.

god, women are so fucking boring. You are too but she is obviously a brick.

what a nice lass

she doesnt look indian
god shes so pretty ;_;

>>mortal Combat
>>terribly /lit/ taste

"let's slit our wrists together"

Kek, i'm sorry man

more?

Let's try another one.

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she looks cute...but as soon as she opens her mouth, her pajeet accent instantly kills boner.

we have a lot of FOB pajeetas at my work...they're awkward as hell

right, its ridiculous how little they try

sometimes it upsets me, but then i remember that i cant be a little bitch about the way things are and i talk myself down
but seriously, just because you were born with a hole between your legs and you aren't obese doesnt give you the right to make 0 effort in human interaction

I've been playing with my joystick for hundreds of hours, you'll never beat me.

>Are you an appendix? Because i don't understand how you work, but this feeling in my stomach makes me want to take you out

BBBBBBBBBRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP

snnnnniiiiiiffffffffffff...oh yes my dear....sssnnnnnnnnnnnniiiiiiiiffffffff....quite pungent indeed...is that....dare I say....sssssssnniff...eggs I smell?......sniff sniff....hmmm...yes...quite so my darling....sniff....quite pungent eggs yes very much so .....ssssssssssssssnnnnnnnnnnnnnnniiiiiiiffffff....ah yes...and also....a hint of....sniff....cheese.....quite wet my dear....sniff...but oh yes...this will do nicely....sniff.....please my dear....another if you please....nice a big now....

BBBBBBRRRRRRRAAAAAAAPPPPPPPFFFFFFFFLLLLLLLLLPPPPPPPPPFFFFFF

Oh yes...very good!....very sloppy and wet my dear....hmmmmm...is that a drop of nugget I see on the rim?...hmmmm.....let me.....let me just have a little taste before the sniff my darling.......hmmmmm....hmm..yes....that is a delicate bit of chocolate my dear....ah yes....let me guess...curry for dinner?....oh quite right I am....aren't I?....ok....time for sniff.....sssssnnnnnnniiiiiiiiffffffff.....hmmm...hhhmmmmm I see...yes....yes indeed as well curry......hmmm....that fragrance is quite noticeable....yes.....onion and garlic chutney I take it my dear?.....hmmmmm....yes quite.....

BBBBBBRRRRRRRRPPPPPPFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFTTTTTTTTTTT

Oh I was not expecting that…that little gust my dear….you caught me off guard…yes…so gentle it was though…hmmmm…let me taste this little one…just one small sniff…..sniff…ah….ssssssnnnnnniiiiiffffffffffff…and yet…so strong…yes…the odor….sniff sniff…hmmm….is that….sniff….hmmm….I can almost taste it my dear…..yes….just…sniff….a little whiff more if you please…..ssssssnnnnnniiiiiffffffffff…ah yes I have it now….yes quite….hhhhmmmm…delectable my dear…..quite exquisite yes…..I dare say…sniff….the most pungent one yet my dear….ssssnnnnniiiifffffffffffffffffffffff….yes….

Ok this one might actually work OP, go for it

"Summer is my least favorite season of the year."

Never fails to make me sniffle (small laugh)

I highly doubt you could beat me in a fair round of Civilization 5, do you have 12 hours perchance?

You can call me Autumn cause you'll always come first

Or this one

youtu.be/aYjrGEZhyQQ

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Soiboys/beta boys are the reason this is as bad as it is today, and why it's getting worse every day

this

i'm diamond1 at league i highly doubt a roastie like you can beat me rofl

So I came across a married women in a cuck relationship

Fuck her husband

Fuck her husbands dad while the husband watches.

Try this one

>trips
You gotta try this now

i cringed so bad i pulled a neck muscle, thanks alot user

as if this roastie could even manage to target my sub in sh3
pffffft

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1v1 ME MID FAGGOT

>dostoevsky
>thoreau
oshit she has good taste

trips decide :^)

Dacia?

Sandero. Good news!

kekd

>those interests
>that major
>those /lit/ name-drops
She's a braindead pseud grossly misinterpreting postmodernism. I can pretty much guarantee you she's not from India - at best, her parents are from India. I know this type of person, and they are way too fucking obsessed over identity to the point of grafting whatever they can bullshit onto themselves.

Read some shit on intersectional feminism, tell her you're trying to learn more about it because you're starting to see what people are talking about, and you'll be fucking her in no time.

This is a completely normal human being. You've got no chance in hell, my dude. Challenge her to video games and be friends instead.

Dont be a pussy, front squats are good for you

D A N C I A
A
N
C
I
A

Say you have a toilet so she doesn't have to poo in loo

I'll be ur designated shitting street

A loo is a toilet. Do you even bongspeak?

I didn't expect this level of quality.

kek

Street*

Why is it /just/ this easy.

First time fucking a girl who lifts tomorrow, let's go.

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>what is your quest

how does this work, i tried something similar 4 times and each time they freaked out and acted like i was a psycho

What advice would you give to a girl on tinder? I havent set up an account yet, how do I avoid creeps and weirdos?

post her pic, something makes me think shes a nig from her use of the dark skin shrugging girl emoji

>pic of a white girl
Can you not see?

>how do I avoid creeps and weirdos?
You're asking in the wrong place.

You can clearly fucking see she is very light skinned. POSSIBLY asian because face isn't visible tho.

Fucking cringe

Here's a golden bio to make you really stand out from the other basic bitches and turn away creeps

"Friends and family mean everything to me. Live to travel and go on adventures. Foodie but can't cook. Netflix addict.

Looking for the Jim to my Pam"

Throw in lots of emojis too everywhere.

>how do I avoid creeps and weirdos?
>on tinder
roastie detected

My favorite was this little rave whore who's bio started with "NO FUCKBOYS and a hundred clapping hands and rainbow emojis", while all of her pictures were in glitter spackled short shorts and bras in different lightshows.

best advice on/fit/ this year

1. download tinder
2. put attractive pictures
3. state your business in biography
4. ???
5. profit

Only put up an ugly selfie and one thing that you're really interested in. The ones worth talking to will get it. Also when even after then you can always gather to and forward in the same.

>don't post any pictures of just you; always post pictures of crowds and you with prettier friends. This will make you look more attractive
>use pictures of yourself in the most unrealistic, warped angle possible. If you've gained weight, post pictures of yourself from 5 years ago. Guys will respect you for this
>declare how funny you are in your bio; funny people always explicitly declare how funny they are
>talk about how you like going out, but also don't mind staying in
>say you like hiking, travel and Netflix. These are unique, original things nobody else likes
>make sure to announce how much you like dogs; you're the only girl who likes dogs
>announce your Meyer-Briggs score so people know how smart you are for buying into a Buzfeed tier personality quiz that pretends to be science
>'haha I'm just on Tinder as a joke'
>make sure to include something in your bio about how you won't respond to any guy just starting a conversation saying 'hey' or 'hi'; only you reserve the right to that
>include something about 'no creeps' and 'no hookups'. Creeps and people looking to hook-up will always take you at face-value and stop there.

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when did canada get a walmart? why am i always the last one to here about these things?

nailed it. do you have this memorized?

We’ve had them for quite a while now

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This covers literally 99% of women’s bios. It’s actually a little sad. Never thought all women were the same until I downloaded tinder.

>make sure to say how much you like food; hardly anyone likes food and this will make you seem cultured and cool.
>Whinge about how you can't find any decent guys or generalize all guy as fuckbois; complaining is attractive behavior that communicates high value.
>The best way to show your original and unique personality is to quote a popular movie or TV series. Bazinga!
>Advertise your drug habits and sexual promiscuity as if they were virtues; this attracts men who are interested in your personality.
>If you ever super-like a guy but aren't brave enough to risk rejection, make sure to repeatedly tell him it was an accident lol. This is the best way to make a guy feel validated and attractive.
>never be clear and forward in what you want; always say you're looking for friends. That's why people create a profile on a dating app: for friends.
>include something in your bio about how you can outperform the guy in some measure. Nothing is more feminine than trying to emulate competitive masculine behavior.
>Don't ever mention any hobbies you actually like; only list things you think guys will like you for doing. This is the secret, foolproof way to win men's affections.

Good luck!

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>>Don't ever mention any hobbies you actually like; only list things you think guys will like you for doing

Good til there. 95% of women have no real hobbies (netflix, social media, and food are not hobbies).

Definitely not a nig or gook. She's a 7/10 with a fit body

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Based!

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Honestly sometimes it doesn't. With the line used in that pic, I've only had two rejections however.

Pic related is a no response.

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this guy is right

That's just shit robots with no female friends say. They do have hobbies, just generally not one's that appeal to male interests, and the one's they share with males they tend to perform differently.

I've met girls who like
>shipping fanfiction (kek)
>scrapbooking
>autistically studying British Imperial history
>cooking weird shit
>drawing

so is she white?

Also add knitting

>Ayuko
Ayukome ova hea

>knitting
This. I love making scarfs or sweaters for my bf.

tinder help on girl named vanna?? likes dance and memes

>hey Vanna, call me Pat Sajak and take a Spin on my Wheel of Fortune
>and by Wheel I mean my dick
>haha just kidding
>hello
>hello

underrated

"Hey Vanna, wanna suck on my banana :^) "

Send her this

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JOJ
JOJIH

Honestly, I just Vanna fuck you

This

Fucking tinder. I swear it's probably easier to pick up chicks in person cold approach.

Yes desu

If the girls are drunk maybe, cold approaching can be brutal as well. Gaming girls from relations from your social circle is way better than both options but tinder has gotten me laid multiple times(chicks were always uglier than their pics and the girls I’ve met from acquaintances though) compared to the 0 times I’ve gotten laid cold approaching.