Mire thread

Got my first verbal mire today from an absolute milf who lives in my apt building, she's a foreigner with a sofia vergara like accent
>longboard home from the gym
>apt elevator has mirrors on 3 of 4 walls
>looking huge due to pump and great lighting
>milf walks in elevator with her dog then looks up at me
>"wow user your so muscular, every time I see your mom i tell her how handsome you are"
>briefly converse about my plans for the military now that ive graduated
>step off elevator feeling like a stud

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>did you work out?
>not DO you work out
that's not a mire. You were probably sweaty

Which branch you signing up for?

Air Force, I ship at the end of the month

>be a skinnyfat DYEL working out for second or third time in psych hospital gym
>finish hour of lifting, half hour of cardio
>trainer/nurse says to me “user, you worked really hard today”
>he doesn’t say this to anyone else

my dad asked me if i was roiding.

I'm still dyel as fuck

I "guide" teen boys in several "techniques" so I know how you feel brah.

>do you take steroids?
I'm always honest. I took HGH for a week to help with a shoulder injury and it screwed up my hormones so bad I couldn't get an detection for 4 months. Now I just do all the little things to max out my natural test production.
Work 'mires stories.
>boss and coworkers talking about apes for some reason. "yea gorrilas have the strength of ten men! Or 2 of user hahaha"
> work in ER. get lots of psych patients, the doctors have all learned to take me with them. "this patient says that if you come back in the room he's going to go to jail for hitting you" beautiful hot young doctor- "I'd like to see him try! come user"
I'm not the biggest guy in town, but I'm the biggest guy at work, and "office hot" applies to hospitals as well. Women were literally fighting over who got to be my "work wife" last week.

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Shut up

Not him but why so hostile? Does your peepee don’t work after injecting all those chemicals?

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They're just trolling dude. Don't let them get to you.

Good job brah, keep moggin’

I wasn't being serious you dumb bitch. GOD you are so fucking stupid. What the fuck is wrong with you? Seriously… you have no fucking clue how many levels of irony I'm on. Even as I type this I have a big fucking smirk on my face because I'm playing a character. A MEME! Ever heard of it? Ya… that's what I thought. How about you stay in your fucking lane kid. This site is designed with people like me in mind. smart clever witty bear mode. Next time you think of posting something stupid like that on my fucking board again you better think twice. I will embarrass you so fucking bad you will be sorry you ever came here. Now go on and scurry away to whatever cave you crawled out of i have 8 other tabs full of (you)s to respond to.

Like stories like this. I’m in nursing school so I want something like this happening to me.

Shut up

Fucking pussy join the marines like a real man

Lady that works at the gym i go to noticed my hair cut said it looked good

Took the bait. Good job dude you probably inspired him to lift big

I wasn't being serious you dumb bitch. GOD you are so fucking stupid. What the fuck is wrong with you? Seriously… you have no fucking clue how many levels of irony I'm on. Even as I type this I have a big fucking smirk on my face because I'm playing a character. A MEME! Ever heard of it? Ya… that's what I thought. How about you stay in your fucking lane kid. This site is designed with people like me in mind. smart clever witty bear mode. Next time you think of posting something stupid like that on my fucking board again you better think twice. I will embarrass you so fucking bad you will be sorry you ever came here. Now go on and scurry away to whatever cave you crawled out of i have 8 other tabs full of (you)s to respond to.

Make it humorous something like

Think I got my first mire today in years, been losing weight
>standing in line
>girl in front
>she randomly turns to look behind her
>looks back
>suddenly her head snaps back to look at me
>turns back
>stands to the side and i notice her sneak a couple of quick sideways glances
There was no one behind me so it was probably me. Feels good man, I'm sick of looking at myself and being disgusted by what I see.

Cardio and Zumba 3 times a week

>Be ottermode
>don’t look like I lift in work shirt (and IMO don’t look like I lift without)
>girl at work with significant frontal assets comes over for something
>leans towards computer and puts her hand on my shoulder
>sharply turns in surprise and exclaims to our mostly female coworkers how muscular my arm is

Felt good, gotta lift more though

First ever today, only lifting for a month.
>At taco Bell with my boy
>Ordered and sat down
>Eating meal when two girls walk in, both cutie pale redheads
>Friend and I go to leave and as we're throwing away our trash, the cuter of the two looks me directly in the eyes and says "yummy!" and winks.
>I wanted to wink back and say "so are you"
>Instead I said "haha yes I enjoy a good taco"
>I run out to catch up with my friend at the car and never see those girls again.

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Welcome to the autist club

What are you even supposed to say in that situation

Rub your stomach in slow circular motions and say “indeed a yum-yum if I do say so myself” then lick your lips and make a slurping sound

>I said "haha yes I enjoy a good taco"

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>"haha yes I enjoy a good taco"

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Haha I'm only joking normies, you see, i went over there and bent her over the table and fucked her raw right then and there. After I had my way with her, my bro came over and asked me to tag him in, in which I replied "GET KEKED BRO" and I bent the second girl over the table and cucked my bro. But don't worry, I let him lick the sloppy seconds up for the extra protein, (I didn't need any extra because I'm already high test. I mean, I inject it every day).

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>this whole post

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Is this the taco guy? I hope not, he seemed like an alright autismo whereas you're a fuckwit

>Actually thinking he's serious

>thinking I think he's serious
It's not a good joke. It's cringe and autistic for the sake of autism.

Kys stupid faggot, the guys clearly just having a go at you retards

>btw i am not the guy who wrote the autistic post
>i am being true and honest i swear

My only mires come from high school girls, gay dudes, and boomer women

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Where do you live? High school girls are on most menus

>My only mires come from high school girls
Why is this? Why the fuck are high school girls into me but not when they get a bit older? Why the fuck weren't high school girls into me when I was in high school? What the fuck

user, sweetheart......

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They are not as concerned with hiding their newly discovered sexuality, they experiment with it and their only peers are similar girls who are going through the same phase. Once they grow up they have to highten their standards to actually attract a worthwhile mate, meaning physique is less important than before, when sexual attraction was all that mattered. In addition the whole world is now their social peers and cast a far more judging eye than their girlfriend Tracy saying “girl you bad but I would suck that dick too”

Oh, so it's the fact that I've spent years doing nothing with my life. Well that makes me feel better. Might change that soon then.

Its never too late to make it

>waiting at station for friend
>some charity thot comes up
>'you look like a big strong guy user'

unlucky for her I don't beleive in charity.

Thanks bro. We're all gonna make it.

Highschool girls aren't scared of rejection, they are surrounded by thirsty teens so they don't realize they aren't worth the attention of a successful muscular older man. Older women have faced more rejection and narrow their strike zone.

>standing in line
>bored so i start randomly looking around
>see a chubbyfat dyel staring at me think nothing of it and turn back around
>as im turning back around out of thr corner of my eye i see that he soiled himself
>try to be more discreet about looking at him but he notices
>try to contain my laughter for the rest of the time i see him

Nice try dude.

>as im turning back around out of thr corner of my eye i see that he soiled himself

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I don't think his iq is low enough for the marines

This happened to me about 3 months ago

>be me
>enjoying sweet noob gains combined with dbol
>new haircut
>visit senpai
>cousin (15) exclaims "pecs" and feels my chest for 10-20 seconds
>asks if I've been working out
>flex arm "you tell me"
>"oh my god"
>holds my arm as we walk along the street with her friend later that day
>touches my abs at dinner
>"solid"

2/10

I feel like I read this before
copypasta?

>chair force
So much wasted potential. It's not too late to save your dignity and become a marine.

>dignity
>being a crayon muncher

>start only working out once a week
>Wow user are you working out

W-what

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>wii tennis
only good answer

Remember normies are full time DYEL

>sprained hamstring
>go to this qt physiotherapist girl I know
>"wow user, your quads are like a bag of rocks"
>"I know, cool, right?"
>notice a smirk on her face in the mirror while she's massaging me

JAI HO YOU ARE THE REASON THAT I BREATHE

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Last week
>been working from home (IT) for the last 6 months or so
>have a few colleagues in my current project but haven't really spent time with them since WFH
>last week started going to office because got bored at home
>started talking with a colleague I was seated next to at the office
>at lunch time we go out to eat
>while waiting for the elevator ge looks at my arms and says "you work out, right?"
>go on talking about gym and how I work out in mornings @7AM

He actually lifts too, but he's a manlet so it doesn't count. Also his arms are smaller than mine anyway.

Been lifting 5.5 years now so everyone notices, but still ejoying the moments when someone brings it up in a conversation

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This was a good read

What's ur height

>last night at the gym
>see some tiny ass girl I used to work with
>keep staring at me and looks down everytime I shift my eyes towards her
>see her talk with her friends at the leg press machine
>they’re all giggling and smiling everytime I turn toward them
>see some small bitchy looking girl miring me from the legextension machine too
>another fat gay guy at other leg extension machine starts staring at me.
>see some boomers congregate around the water fountain
>they all shoot me dirty looks and stop talking when I walk up to them

How the fuck are you supposed to respond when people stare at you like that? One time I asked a guy if he needed help because he kept looking at me and he complained to the gym that I threatened him.

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The only proper answer
>Haha I guess that Wednesday Zumba class is really paying off

>"haha yes i enjoy a good taco"
dying over here sempai

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I love that too, last week one of my coworkers said something similar
>"You lift weights, right? You got that Dorito back, dude"

How can I get mires if I only leave my house to go to work?
Also home gym.

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way to sound like a retard.

6'0

Caught my 12 year old cousin miring me. Feels good, brahs we're all gonna make it

>dorito back
Your coworker was making fun of you, man.
Next opportunity you get you should tell him/her they know their way around a Doritos bag or 2 or 10

"dorito shape" is a normie term for a v-tapor, it's not an insult

You won't have to worry about it

Heheheheble crayon meme xD very original friend

Thanks bro (:

Marine stands for My Ass Rides In Navy Equipment.

>15 year old girl(female) cousin has gotten into the habit of holding onto my arm and biceps and leaning on my shoulder

T-Thanks Jow Forums, I didn't ask for this

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>not "it's a meme you dip"

>implying

thanks, my name is user by the way. With an A. And yours?

Then you talk just for one minute, get her phone, and leave.

Don't be a pussy. I do this without muscles. And they give me fake numbers. Do something while you can!

>dignity
>military
no matter what rank you are, you'll always be a grunt to your book worm political overloards.

I lol'd, user.

dubs of truth

unless, of course, you want to take up veganism and insert your nutrition/routine into irrelevant conversations

that's not humorous, user

omfg lol

My dad does this too. Funny how the only people that think I'm roiding are other guys. Jealousy, maybe?