FPH/FPS

Attached: gameface.png (1015x562, 489K)

Attached: 1530585214392.png (945x586, 568K)

>a little more curve
O I am laffin

Attached: fat4.webm (854x480, 1.17M)

Attached: never get fat.webm (1920x1080, 888K)

Attached: fat3.webm (854x480, 924K)

Attached: 1530142049402.jpg (3264x1836, 454K)

Attached: 1530404187572.jpg (750x1023, 601K)

Attached: dVQAApuBx.jpg (750x497, 53K)

Crab mentality is so pathetic.

Short one, more like a fat aversion story

>be me obese High School Freshman
>hang out with some people who are general rejects
>one of them twice the size of me somehow
>Making very small steps to improve myself
>me and her both making steps to improve ourselves
>both get salad for lunch
>hate it but trying to fix myself
>Eating my food and look up as the fatty user is literally drenching her salad in ranch
>"femanon that won't work if you drench it in-"
>"Oh it's just to make it taste good trust me. I'm sticking to my diet"
>o-okay
>she doesn't stick to it, neither do I but she anti-sticks to it
>gets fatter
>there comes a day where she tells me I can get a discount on bus faire by claiming my obesity as a handicap
>Mentally Nope out and tell her I'm not even heavy enough
>"Then just gain a few pounds Tee-hee"
>At this point I just nope out of my friendship to her all together

>Years go by and I lose 100+lbs, post a picture of myself on Facebook
>get a message from the wicked witch of the morbidly obese
>"Heeey user! You look like a real man now"
>Literally just a bit better than a skinny fat dyel
>"We should hang out sometime! You look really good"
>Look at her profile, she definitely hasn't lost any weight. She definitely gained more.

It's kind of sad she was a big part of my motivation to escape that life. I guess hearing from her again gave me a glimpse of what my life woulda been like otherwise.

Makes me smile every time.

The fact that I had no idea that this stuff even existed before I came to Jow Forums still amazes me. What a hell fats must live in.

>she cute

How does a body like that happen.

Attached: fat pretending to be cute.jpg (960x960, 57K)

Attached: diharrea_express.webm (854x480, 2.63M)

>European features
Ooga booga mus be da damn whiteys oppresin me an sheiiiit

smash and leave breh

Is it possible to come back from this? He looks like he's rotting and mutating

Nope, even if he magically lost all the weight and had the skin removed he would just regain it all back, if you ever let yourself get to that point you're too far gone to fix.

Absolutely not. I'm not even trying to be hateful, she is just not attractive in the slightest.

If he magically lost the weight and had a change of mentality he could be okay.

I can't fathom why a lot of those very ugly&obese people are so damn narcissistic and have impeccable self-confidence. I just don't fucking get it. I'm almost jealous considering I am fully aware that I'm a disgusting, ugly piece of shit and therefore my life is shit, but those people seem to see the Aphrodite whenever they take a picture or look at themselves. They are so aggressive ajd in-your-face about it too and on top of that it's women 99% of the times. I don't fucking get any of it.

haha boink

>Having to tuck your fat apron into your bikini bottom

Attached: 066CE3C7-157E-4AF5-AFE5-4558C96BD0A8.png (650x340, 93K)

Yo, so as an EMT working as a GI tech and a skellington dealing with colon cancer, I can safely say this person has a massive GI issue

>brainwashed
look who is talking

She a fatty, uh
better lose the belly, uh

>#otherworldy
you got that right

How long could this whale survive without food and just water?

Jesus imagine the stomach ache from whatever caused that

If you ever find yourself with cravings, just imagine being hit in the face with that spray, and you'll never eat again.

I don't know, don't wanna find out either, but I'd like to know how many candles you could make out of it.

>just water
Forget water, it's dry fast time.

Makes me kek every time

>Be EMT
>Get called out at 4 in the morning
>Supervisor warned us that the address we were being called to called 911, 3 other times today
>Pt was a 400 pound guy with a 50 pound hernia that he kept getting stuck in the bed railing and the bed
>Get there
>sumofallfears.jpg
>Smell is terrible but tolerable
>Hernia is stuck
>It's actually oozing like a pimple that's on the brink of exploding by itself
>Puss is leaking into the bed pan below
>Partner threads sheet between his arms
>I thread sheet through his back
>"Ok we are going to lift on three"
>"three" Lift
>The smell of urine, shit, blood, and puss in the space that his fact was protecting from comes WOOSHING out from underneath as I lift
>Smell travels upward
>I get a mouthful of this
>Will never forget the smell
>Top 5 worst smells, Top 5 worst scenes

>Be 18 and attending a party of a friend of a friend
>Be beefy guy, not overweight but just no muscle definition - 6'2" 95kg
>Do lots of lifting, boxing, and hike 5km every day
>Have 7/10 girlfriend on vacation, back in few days so not looking to get lucky
>Mingling with people, meet some crazy dudes and having a blast
>Fight breaks out and one of my athletic friends and I jump in and separate the two drunkards
>Pretty good night
>Suddenly a wild hambeast appears!
>Girl goes to my highschool, and only reason I know is that I've seen her waddling around from time to time (easy 150kg)
>The birthday girl comes over to me and warns me that this behemoth has a thing for me
>She says she didn't want her to come and was only invited through another friend
>She apologizes to me and says to just ignore her if possible
>I totally understand and do my best to just stay out of behemoths orbit
>I meet up with some really old friends from my elementary school days
>Party in full swing going well
>Suddenly feel greasy hand grab my arm
>Reaction kicks in and I flick it away, turn around to see diabeetus standing there smiling at me
>I'm staring death in the face and the fight or flight system is kicking in
>Before she can utter a single word, saved by calls from the side gate
>It's athletic guy who helped me break up the fight from earlier
>He says he needs my help urgently
>I flat out sprint to the gate and he's laughing his head off
>We bolt inside through the side door and head upstairs
>We ended up spending the majority of the night chilling upstairs and on the balcony that overlooks the front
>All this just to avoid bushpig, he hated the stupid bitch from shit she did earlier that year
>He was laughing at shit the fat slag did all night
>I saw the giant greaseball sobbing later that night and learned that she passed out and broke stuff when she fell
>Athletic guy wasn't a wingman that night, he was an extraction team and I owe him many drinks

>Be working at summer camp
>One week we get a new employee
>She is literally the ugliest fattest landwhale ive ever seen.
>Easily 400 lbs.
> would eat green tea powder and chocolate powder plain straight out of the tub with a spoon
> constantly complained about the rugged terrain and having to walk up hills
>her stench was unbearable, like a turd in the sun.
>staff cabins segregated by gender
>all the girls say she freely gets naked at night and farts horrendously in her sleep.
>I cant fathom the other horrors that happen in the girls cabin
>anyways she couldnt even walk 50 feet without having to stop and take a 5 minute break
> so fat that the staff uniform shorts we had to wear didnt come in a size big enough, so she just let the inner thigh seams rip and waddled around with her gargantuan thighs shuffling against eachother like some horrible suspended front-butt out in the open for everyone to see.
> one time the staff area plumbing clogged up and nobody could use the bathrooms.
>maintenance guy checks out the pipes and finds a massive pair of panties covered in shit and blood clogging up the pipes.
>mfw she got her period and bled everywhere and tried to flush the evidence.
>mfw this bitch actually thought she was attractive
>mfw she only lasted 2 weeks
>mfw i hate fat people

>be 15
>be at a local town center with my friend
>he's high I'm not
>walking around in a tank top because I want to show off my traps and biceps
>walking over to car all the way across this big ass town center
>already tired from leg workout that day
>kind of walking slowly
>two hamplanets see me and highfriend
>hamplanet 1 says "you'd think he'd be able to walk since he's soOoOo buff"
>hamplanet 2 laughs and says "yeah I bet it's all those roids weighing down on him"
>highfriend thinks I didn't hear them
>nope.jpg
>turn my ass around and say "dude I forgot something"
>we catch up with hamplanets
>Say "Hey you guys been to the ice cream store?"
>"no"
>highfriend has no idea what im doing
>say "Oh well my friend and I just thought we would take you because you guys are kind of cute."
>both of them giggle and say yes
>start walking towards where car is again
>highfriend is like wtfbro
>say "You guys are pretty cute, you must get this from a lot of guys, huh?"
>hamplanets say yes
>yaokay.avi
>we get to the icecream store
>tell them to get whatever they want it's our treat
>highfriend and I already ate so it's all good
>of course they get the biggest shit they can
>start grinning like a mad man
>highfriend realizes what im about to do and prepares the door
>tell them they can start eating ill just go pay
>whisper to the cashier that they are stealing food
>cashier calls security
>walk to hamplanets
>say "It's all taken care of ladies, but you guys should really learn not to run your mouths when you've got massive cottage cheese thighs."
>they realize I heard what they said
>let out three massive protein farts before I leave
>highfriend opens door and we sort of speed walk away
>hamplanets dazed by my poisons
>Yell "Fucking hamplanets."
>leave
>mfw

>A year ago get feed up with being fat.
>Get gym membership.
>Work out every day.
>Get on a meal plan.
>Told I look thinner.
>look in mirror still see fat fuck that I am.
>Work out Even more.
>Still fat.
>Eat less.
>Still fat as hell.
>Pass out at gym.
>wake up in ER.
>Told that I'm malnourished.
>Told dangerously under weight.
>tell them no I'm fat ass hell.
>See shrink.
>She says I have "body dysmorphic disorder"
I still see that fat fucking loser in the mirror every fucking day.

>be high school health class
>teacher is a fucking cow
>torso pretty much round
>spent a week learning cpr
>exam time
>have to perform the heimlich maneuver on fat teacher in front of class
>my turn comes
>step behind fatty
>put arms around it
>pull in and up
>most disgusting feeling ever
>almost threw up
>sit back down
>next girl goes up
>can't fit arms around fatty
>she fails the test

Where is the rest of the story faggot

>at a bus stop
>two bitches so fat they had old people walker
>bus pulls up
>bus driver sees fatties
>bus driver walks to the back of the bus
>initiates air suspension
>bus tilts over
>pulls leaver
>ramp folds out
>fatties waddle up it
>took like five minutes
>proceed to next stop
>anotherfattie.org
>bitch is so fat shes in a fucking electric wheel chair
>not even kidding
>looked like an oompa loompa ate 10 oompa loompas and then chewed that gum that makes you balloon up except the ballon is filled with lard
>bus driver walks to the back of the bus
>initiates air suspension
>bus tilts over
>pulls leaver
>ramp folds out
>fattie goes up the ramp
>reinflate air suspension
>strap down the fatty so she doesnt roll around the bus like a bowling ball
>took like ten minutes

thanks, fatties

>be shift manager at retail pharmacy.
>be third busiest day of the year (jan 1st) 5pm with 125 scripts in the queue with 4 flu shots waiting and no light at the end of the tunnel.
>Running interference as best I can at the drive thru.
>station wagon pulls up with this monstrosity of a ham planet with all of the windows down sweating profusely in 20 degree weather.
>proceeds to quite literally scream at me that she could have DIED waiting in the line of cars i took so long.
>imsosorrywhatcanidoforyou.jpg
>"I'm out of insulin syringes I need a fucking insulin syringe"
>colormesurprised.jpg
>I'm sorry ma'am, its store policy that we do not sell them through.....
>"I don't want you to SELL ME one! I want you to give me one its a fucking emergency!!!"
>She's screaming so loud my pharmacy manager swings around and rips the phone out of my hand "Show me the god damn insulin then!"
>she shows the bottle and he motions to just hand her one. mumbles under his breath "the biggest gauge we have" lol.jpg
>pharmacistdiscretion.jpg
>a half hour later hamplanet comes waddling up to the pharmacy counter inside the store asking if her prescription is ready.
>yes it is
>"can you ring this up too?"
>full on hands me a completely empty 2 liter bottle of mountain dew. and three empty snickers wrappers.

>be black
>have dyel white roommate
>he starts going to the gym last semester
>i go with him once
>he only uses machines
>makes no progress
>3 months later he gives up
>he says he's an ectomorph so he cant gain muscle
>he says i'm only buff cuz i'm black
>tell him i've been working out for 4 years at the gym
>he insists cuz i'm black
>i realize he truly is upset about this
>share my kfc meal with him and take him out for a grape soda afterward

>Hamplanet, being a hamplanet, has a typical hamplanet diet.
>Simple sugars. Starches. Greasy meat.
>No fiber. EVER.
>We quickly figured out that hamplanet does not just take shits
>She takes multihour dump-a-thons, and always comes out fucking soaked with sweat and heaving. She’s so fuck huge that she’s lost the ability to simply crap.
>With that taken care of, 2 of roommates and me are lurking in living room
>Someone brings up some funny ass shit. Not sure what it was, but I shot milk out my nose.
>Went to crapper to grab tissue
>Door is unlocked. Assume all is well inside.
>How did Ganymede get in here?
>Oh wait, that’s hamplanet. Legs. Wide. Open.
>THE SMELL. THE GODDAMN SMELL. Like a 15 year old tuna salad sandwich made love to a cesspit. Like a freshly opened can of surstromming, atop century eggs.
>PANTIES STRETCHED TO THE POINT OF FAILURE, GREY WITH FILTH, BEGGING TO BE PUT OUT OF THEIR MISERY.
>JIGGLING CELLULITE. THE GRAND CANYON MAPPED IN STRETCH MARKS. A massive 1970’s grade unkempt bush, a dreadlocked, crusted afro is my savior from further ocular trauma.
>Slam door shut
>Do not pass go, do not collect $200, run DIRECTLY to campus gym, spend rest of day showering.

>be sitting outside apartment thinking about suicide
>sun is shining, beautiful girls walk by, the self hatred increases
>two fatasfatasses appear
>one 20yo the other 13yo
>both wearing all grey loose fitting weird clothes
>both having a 1.5l soda in the stomachpocket
>didnt even notice at first because the stomachs big as fuark from beginning
>they walk up to the antique-store next to my apartment
>proceed to steal chairs from their outside cafe
>they can barely get them up as the back of the chairs hit their stomach when trying to lift them up
>they both look at me
>now im fearing for my life
>thinking to myself “i dont want to die like this, i want to end this myself”
>they just stare at me and then the older one shouts
>”HEY ITS OK WE KNOW THE OWNER THEY DONT MIND”
>”I JUST DONT LIKE WHEN GUYS LIKE YOU STARE AT ME AND MY SISTER LIKE YOU ARE BETTER THAN US”
>”JUST BECAUSE YOU ARE A GYM ADDICT DOESNT MAKE YOU BETTER THAN US”
>im sitting there silent with my mouth open the entire time
>they waddle off
>lol to myself and go inside
>my suicide will have to wait for another day

>In a production of a musical
>The director must easily weigh at least 500 lbs and is a mean little man who chews out people a lot.
>The only thing he devours more than the souls of the innocent is food
>Talks about having high blood pressure and decides to eat a giant cookie in the middle of rehearsal
>Stops rehearsal in the middle of a scene and waddles out very unbalanced
>The two lankiest DYEL guys in the play help him out
>He collapses and starts vomiting and farting everywhere
>Smells awful
>Soils his pants
>Pale as fuck, looks like he's gonna die
>The stage manager asks if she should take over rehearsal and he can go home.
>"I'm the director! You can't run rehearsal without me!"
>Continues rehearsal, shit pants and everything.

I don't have any of my old emt stories or I would post another. There isn't any more of this story from where I got it.

it's not a hard concept to grasp that your brain associates beautiful features of the average of all faces you have ever seen + symmetry.
If you're exposed to white faces your whole life this is what you gonna go for.
Replace "white" with whatever here and it still holds true

>be nanny, going to pick kids up at school
>nearby car opens up to reveal sentient beach ball
>beach ball lumbers to open trunk and retrieves a towcart
>beach ball dragging tow cart moves to walk across the street in front of my car
>I keep right on moving to get in carpool because there's no chance of hitting the beach ball as it's moving at miss beach ball by a mile
>beach ball takes offense anyway and starts making these comically exaggerated expressions of offense and throwing hands in the air repeatedly and shaking meaty fists
>gut swaying back and forth
>it nearly drops tow cart
>lol heartily
>it keeps this up for over a whole minute until it's out of my sight
>get kids, go home, snack of melon and tea, play outdoor games
>damn it feels good to not have my own gravity

You're a good guy

Here is a similar one I'v encountered, fresh off the presses:
>Bus about to depart to the suburbs
>Waiting for the driver
>Fattie rolls up to the bus riding an electric scooter
>Bus driver comes
>Fatty asks if the driver could put down the ramp so that she can board the bus
>"This ain't no standard wheelchair ma'am so I'm not going to claim responsibility fo' it"
>"You can't board with that thing"
>Closes the door and departs seconds later
>mfw

Attached: 0c0.gif (320x240, 1.78M)

>Work with fat as fatass co-worker for a few months
>Hated by all co-workers due to laziness and just generally being an asshole
>Always loudly talks about my "anorexia" because my heart doesn't pump mayonnaise but tells my coworkers how he's going to "split me in two"
>Ignore him, only thing he's splitting is 4XL jeans coated in Cheetos dust and cum stains
>Comes up to me alone crying and confides that he feels awful about his weight and doesn't know what to do, wants my help
>Take pity on him, glad he wants to make a change
>Invite him to my gym with me
>Shows up 40 minutes late
>When he gets there his eyes burn a hole in my yoga pants
>Super uncomfortable but get him to start stretching with me
>Less than a minute in he has to go to the bathroom, wait for 20 minutes
>We've been there an hour and haven't even worked out, I don't have time for this shit.
>Knock on door of bathroom and call out to him, hear violent sobbing, sounds like someone being mauled
>It's not locked so I open the door...
>What I see there will haunt me forever.
>He's hunched over masturbating furiously while crying, absolutely naked except for some black thing straining around his man boobs, almost lost in his folds
>...I-is that the sports bra I thought I lost?
>Is this even real life?
>He starts to scream when he sees me, tries to hide himself with his hands, rolls jiggle everywhere
>Start to laugh
>Immediately leave and laugh the entire 20 minute walk home, can't breathe I'm laughing so hard.
>He never comes in for work again.

I'm not sure I'd believe it if it hadn't happened to me. My boss told me I should try to press charges (for I don't even know what, creepiness?) but I just wanted to never see him again.

Keep going to therapy, user. It doesn't go away on its own. I know from experience.

At 600 lbs, her body weight is about 270 kg.
Assuming TDEE at 2000 kcal, she'll burn 2 kg of fat every 9 days - or 200 kg of fat in 900 days.
Might want to grab a multivitamin for that 2½-year fast.

unbelievably based

story is from half a decade ago, but I'm glad you've improved and the sentiment you're bringing forth is a nice one

ketofags will defend this

>Be me, former fatass hog sweating fuck 6'2" 290, now 185 at 23
>Family is obese but willing to change now that they see my progress
>My unhealthy choices got me here
>Cut out processed foods and soda and replaced with veg and dat protein
>Still live and work near uni
>Now pounding more vag in 6 months then I ever did in undergrad
>Some 4/10 but mostly 7s don't care still sex
>Bishs be swooned by body, confidence, and $
>Still have loose skin but those are reminders of past
>FPS was a great motivator
>To fatties: Buy an exercise bike then you have no excuse to not work out due to embarrassment
>SO to gym rats that pound it when I was in gym and saw I was motivated
>this site saved 5 hamplanets

Pound that mound my friend.

You sound like an asshole

Are they really confident, or are they just pretending, do you think? Their apparent confidence is probably corollary of their extremely low self-esteem, although they would never admit it.

>Be at Hometown Buffet today with my family
>Decide to try to eat healthy in spite of being at Hometown fucking Buffet
>Get some salad, get some steamed veggies and some fish, get milk to drink
>Sit down with my plate at the table
>Find myself locking eyes with Jupiter at another table
>He gives me a scowl as he sees my physique and the food I have on my table
>Puts on a jackal grin, and takes a big bite out of his fried chicken
>Finishes one plate, comes back with all sorts of fatty, unhealthy food
>Eats them like some sort of exotic dancer but with food
>Try my hardest not to let me family notice I am on the verge of puking this entire time while I quietly eat what little I can of my semi-healthy food
>Get up to leave, hamplanet waves goodbye to me

> be 3 years ago
> be at party
> host has hamplanet best-friend over
> both hamplanet and host get absolutely plastered
> fast forward to 2 a.m.
> at this point fatass had annoyed almost everybody at the party
> fatass 1 falls asleep in a chair
> host is flirting with me, all is going well
> friend points out a big, dark spot spreadring outwards from fatass 1's crotch
> host hysterically tries to clean her up
> "help me user, please"
> lel
> decide to laugh and take pictures instead
> get thrown out

in hindside yes, I could've gotten laid, but I'd have had to touch the damn thing, fuck that

This happened to me two days ago
> leaving Costco
> walking to parking lot and see the biggest hamplanet on the face of the earth
> 450 pounds easy
> she just finished loading up her groceries into her car waddles to the driving seat. Literally waddles.
> opens her car door and takes out a tub of something
> starts to rub this clear substance on her stomach, all over.
> Finally make out what the tub is " Vaseline".
> think "wtf is this lard ass doing?"
> she plops in her car, with her gut literally jammed into the steering wheel, i wouldn't be surprised if there's an imprint on her stomach when she gets home
> then i realize the use of her vaseline.
> her gut is so big, that the steering wheel can't turn unless shes lubricated.
> she turns to wheel for about 30 seconds, back and forth until it's completely lubed up, then drives away.

I stood there for a good 2 minutes trying to comprehend what i just saw.

just choked lmao

>Talking over phone based messenger to qt I'm digging
>not slim but not fat either, nice balance with good facial aesthetics
>get onto me dieting and working out briefly
>"I don't even get why you watch what you eat, you workout so it doesn't matter"
>tfw quite liked her prior to that sentence

Too beta to politely turn down a fat chick.

>Shiggydiggydoo

>hotel front desk
>minding my own business watching Dexter when a pair of lardcomets (mom/daughter) come up to greet me
>not so much greet as smile with yellow stained teeth while pretending not to be breathing so hard from the walk from their room
>"Can you break this $20?"
>10 bill, 5 bill, '5' 1 bill
>"Oh we're going to get a snack can I get more 1's?"
>I am sure you are
>20 1 bills
>next 6 minutes is a non-stop plinko machine of keybeeps and falling whale treats around the corner
>mother waddles around the corner with another $10 bill
>...oh please god no
>break it again
>she comes around the corner again and asks for an ice bag to hold all their candy and chips because their blubberly flippers couldn't balance the two dozen articles of shit they just bought for a "snack"

These two are regulars.

This has happened before.

She has hit on me before.

Hard.

I do not enjoy this job very much.

>out at the club
>getting late and I'm drunk as fuck
>this chubby chick has been eyeing me all night
>ohfuckit.jpg
>take her home with me
>start fucking against a wall
>she keeps slipping out of my grip because she's fat and sweaty
>tell her to wait a second
>grab chalk from my gymbag and chalk up
>proceed to fuck her brains out

felt good man

>Be morbidly obese
>Lose over 100lbs over two years, coworkers generally supportive, complements and shit
>Receptionist is a bowling ball, approximately five foot in diameter
>Asked me how to lose weight when I was about 50lbs down, tell her I found out the secret is to eat less. She laughs and from that day on starts bothering me daily about what my "real" secret is.
>Explain calorie counting one day.
>"What program?" "uh no program, just counting the calories" "How much does it cost?" "Uh, free." Just laughs and keeps bothering me for my secret.
>Finally sit down with her one Friday when it's just us in the office and get her to take me seriously.
>"It really is just calorie counting, you always say you want to lose weight, I'd really like to help you."
>We figure out her TDEE, get her the myfitnesspal app, etc.
>She's genuinely appreciative, feels like she has the information and tools she needs, and we even plan her meals for the following week.
>Monday she comes in late, "Sorry I'm late my husband found this new gym that's only $10 a month so now I don't have to diet! We're going to do the treadmill every morning."

Fuck it.

>thinks there is anything wrong with starches
Look at this fucking brainlet.

Switch to night audit. Unless that is your shift already.
I use the freeweights for isolations on my overnights, and shitpost here.

>grew up in sports-oriented family
>all siblings, dad, mom were huge into competitive sports
>mom starts being a cunt when my sibs and I are in junior high
>dad gets really depressed/angry/unmotivated
>starts gaining weight because all he does is drink case after case of beer
>10 years later, dad is slovenly celestial body
>damn near 450 pounds
>dad calls up the other day, "hey son let's go gambling I'll teach you all I know"
>pick him up at his house, he can walk but it's more like awkward toddle-wobbling
>he's out of breath when he reaches the car
>get to casino, forget that dad can't move well, so park in the usual garage that's a decent walk away from the gaming hall
>we start walking, get about 20 feet and he says he needs to sit and rest
>he sounds like he's dying, wheezing and gasping
>tells me to go ahead and he'll catch up
>shrug and move on, wait 20 minutes, decide to go look for him because shit it's been 20 minutes
>can't find him, so give his cell a ring
>"oh hey son I got the shuttle to take me to the front, meet me there"
>go to front of the gaming hall, he waddles in through the doors with an ice cream
>"Dad where the hell did you get ice cream?"
>he explains that there was one of those froyo self serve stations on the way to the elevators that go to the parking shuttle
>my dad is going to die soon

Show Bobs an vagene

>be a tradesman doing real work
>need to get paperwork for current sitework from office
>two fat women inhabit the office
>go into office to find paperwork
>oh god the smell
>five or six open plastic containers containing curry, soup, left over sausages, pizza etc
>musty sweaty fatty smell mixed with this
>also tea, they drink tea non stop
>complete barrage of my smell sense
>they are sitting watching YouTube clips and guffawing
>leave immediately
>get the apprentice to find the paperwork instead.

Lol you got foodmogged by an absolute alphafatty

> Be today
> Be cashier at major grocery store
> Baggin shit like a cashier does
> Up comes Saturn and presumably her daughter Titan
> Lays out relatively healthy food (caught me off guard)
> Lean Quizene, Weight Watchers, fruit and veggies
> okay.jpg maybe they are trying to be healthy
> Continue scanning, they strike up a conversation about trying to lose weight but it doesn't seem to be working
> Out of no where a random dozen of donuts appear
> what.exe
> Another appears, ice cream follows, 2 liters approach, seemingly endless belt of candy
> They keep preaching that losing weight is impossible
> I tell them to look at whats on the belt and see how unhealthy it is
> Saturn angry
> Explain to them that if they cut all this out of their diets they will begin to lose weight faster, and save a ton of money
> Saturn furious
> Tells me thyroid problem + big bones + genetic + gym is expensive + healthy food is expensive
> Is buying $103 worth of junk food
> ohwell.jpg I tried
> Wish them a good day and begin on next customer
> 15 minutes later manager tells me I am going to be put through sensitivity training or be fired.
> allofmywat.dll

>>also tea, they drink tea non stop
Tea as in ""Tea"" with sugar and lemon, or actual, unbagged tea that makes your run around like a monkey from the caffeine?

>Out at bar with bros, arrive considerably late because we were barhopping
>Already pretty smashed from previously ingested drinks
>Try to dance with a 6.34/10 but she's a fucking stuck up cunt
>Walk to the bar, ask for 7&7, Blonde landmass eyeing me something fierce
>MY DICK IS GETTING WET
>Best bro notices me walking in her direction and tries to stop the massacre before it begins
>Tell him it's too late, I've already committed to the sacrafice
>Engage Diabeetus Betty with my witty banter
>Tell this bish I wanted to squirtle on them jiggly puffs
>The oils in her deep fryer begin to churn, it's off to her place
>Talks to me about niggers constantly hitting on her on the ride there (Why am I not surprised?)
>Her apartment is literally just a fridge and a mattress on a box spring, wreaks of weed
>She strips down to bra and panties
>Gelatinous waterfalls of fat EVERYWHERE
>Body has no shape to it whatsoever
>She puts on the condom
>IT'S GO TIME
>Fuck her missionary and become hypnotized by melodic waves of fat rippling between her cunt and chin
>Get completely disgusted and tell her to flip over for doggie
>OMG WHAT HAVE I DONE
>Her ass is literally none existent
>Somehow, her fat has managed to avoid her tits and ass completely and conglomerated into one giant gunt, her gut and her cunt successfully became one entity.
>Midway through fucking her doggie I lose my erection
>She starts gobbling my giblets like a turkey dinner
>Boner revived
>Fuck her doggie one last time until I'm completely disgusted
>In fear of losing my hard on again and having the night be a complete waste, I tell her to lie on her back so I can come on her tits (Which were more like loose sacks of skin)
>After about 5 sets of 30 reps on my dick, I finally bust one
>Wipe my dick on her mattress and tell her I gotta get back to my friends
>Leave her apartment and call one of my bros to get me

take a wild guess lmao

>Out partying for mates birthday
>Getting shitfaced, pub crawl, "no 2 drinks the same" rule, 2 drinks per pub rule. Shots every now and then
> Fuckin rat shit at end of the night, don't wanna go home without some action
> Chubby bitch shows some interest, being super beta trying to carry me/help me etc. Keeps alluding that she wants me to crash at her joint for the night, presumably to rape
>End up going home with her
> Get to her house, she lives alone, awesome, easy to bail in the morning
> Fall on the bed full clothed, ready to pass out
> Bed makes crinkly noise, like fuckin cellophane
>she cannon balls me, starts fuckin gorgin at my face with her big mouth, cheeks slobbery against my face
>Still remember the feels, like vietnam, shell shocked.
>Decide fuck it, might as well fuck it, no one has to know
>Start fucking her, wasn't so bad, she was chubby but nice face, nice eyes, big tits, kinda like typical heavy metal fan chick
> She stops and reaches under her bed and pulls out these fuckin black beads
>Wants to put em up my ass
>Whatever gets you off, drunk as fuck, go to town chubcitybitch
>Beads up my ass and she starts jerkin my dick telling me to cum on her
> Feels awesome
>Bout to blow my shit
>"Im gonna cum"
>Bitch REEFS beads out of my ass
>Shit billows out like fucking smog from a cargo ship
>Shit and cum everywhere
>She does like chubby giggle, smearing cum all over her tits, doesnt give a fuck about the shit
>Freaking the fuck out, put all my clothes on
>Shit running down my leg as I pull pants over the top and do my belt up
> She's loving the shit and cum fuckin snowball mudfest on her bed
>I dont say a word, bout to fuckin leave
>Realise the bed is covered in plastic
>Sheplannedthis.jpg
>Get the fuck out of there
>Had to tell my friends
>Never saw her again
>Never forget.

This. In the fatty's mind he won.

Absolute legend. Please be real

I'd say they drink iced tie. How can anyone drink that rancid shit? I mean we have a jug at home with two teaspoons of sugar in it, but even that's pushing it far.

That's fucked I cannot imagine what that is like

>fat female friend has been hinting that she wants the d
>pick her up, hang out for a bit
>says she wants mcdonalds
>cheap date, i'm not against it
>buy her mickey dees. she orders twice as much as me
>suggest we go back to my place to eat it
>once finished, she proceeds to give me a blowjob
>it's meh
>i splooge in her mouth, proceed to fuck her
>meh
>splooge again
>i ask, "what do you wanna do now?"
>"i'm hungry. how about some taco bell?"
>bertstare, i'm still full as fuck from last meal
>get her taco bell and drop her off back at her place

she kinda slutted around my group of friends for a few years. i can safely say we've all banged her out one time or another. we always share lulz.

epilogue
>she has the beetus now, and is fatter than ever

If this is actually true I like you, that's funny

Oh great it's the thread where the same 50 images get posted again and again and again and again. It sure is motivating!

>L O N D O N
>O
>N
>D
>O
>N

you kept your integrity in the face of a thot, you good