INDEPENDENCE DAY EDITION
sticky: 4chanfit.wikia.com
previous: It's Freedom day here in 'Murca, that means good food, day drinking, and chilling with your family and friends by the pool. Continue to be awesome, and you will make this day awesome too.
What are you working on this next week to self improve? How will you tackle any obstacles that you have before you? What advice can you give to people who may be starting out, or struggling?
YOU GOT THIS BROS! WE ALL GONNA MAKE IT!
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>What are you working on this next week to self improve?
learning chess
>How will you tackle any obstacles that you have before you?
currently have none that can't be defeated with willpower
>What advice can you give to people who may be starting out, or struggling?
just because you have lots of stuff you want to start doing doesn't mean you have to start it all at once, 10 small tasks is easier than one big one
God my ex is a slut. Learning shes a slut is probably the best self improvement I’ve had.
>focusing on other people's flaws
>self-improvement
Holy shit didnt even think of that. Thank you. It’s hard to see her do things and go out while I’m stuck in the library studying all day. My brain is so caught up on her and I’m constantly hoping she texts me.
I’ve really lost sight of my goals and it makes every day harder. I texted her the other day and it made me feel better, but I know its ruining my chances with her. Why can’t I just focus on my goals and delete her forever
The 4th is just reminding me how alone I really am. I told my parents a month ago that I would visit and they haven't called or texted me asking where I am so they obviously forgot; not surprising at all since they've always hated me. I have no friends and have never been in a relationship.
I could kill myself right now and nobody would know or care. The only people to find out would be work and they'd just fire me for being a no show and move on. I could jump to my death in a river and nobody would ever find my body or know what happened to me.
user I am a post from above. I’m not trying to shill but read jordan peterson 12 rules. Also begin doing something that people will care about you for. Where do you work/what do you do for money?
What the fuck mate you're a mess. Harden the fuck up like right now.
You can delete her; it's just going to be scary and will force you redefine yourself outside of that relationship. Block her number and remove all evidence of her and the time you shared. Fuck someone else too; that helps sometimes.
The alternative is the slow degeneration into Jow Forums or some other flavor of bitter dude who resents women. I'm 80% over my last LTR of 4+ yrs, you can do it too.
>I’m not trying to shill but read jordan peterson 12 rules.
Why?
I don't know who Jordan Peterson is but there's a high probability he's part of the 99.9% of people who don't understand true loneliness.
>Also begin doing something that people will care about you for.
Like what?
>Where do you work/what do you do for money?
I'm an engineer but there's 10,000 others just like me in this state alone.
Not that other user.
> 99.9% of people who don't understand true loneliness.
Believing that you're a rare witness to a truer form of suffering is just another form of narcissism. You're not that special.
Its a really interesting book and its really gives incels places to start. It really helped me focus on myself and create a positive image of myself, kind of gave me some steps to take. Also in the audiobook he cries
I actually enjoy comenting on posts here, and I volunteer. I actually know a engineer that is very clically depressed, but he volunteers at the science center with me and likes it, you should try that out.
I’m a white guy at a shitty university with mediocre lifts and I’m 5’10. I still find a way to make myself unique by doing things to make me stand out and I do things to help people. Try and work somewhere where you work matters and you arent engineering spoons. Practice more often just saying why things you do are important or wo they help.
Ty feels senpai
I’m currently reading corey wayne’s 3% man and all its doing is reminding me of all the mistakes I did and how if I just did some things differently I could still have her. I will delete whatever photos I have of her that I can find.
I just cant stop looking at her location on snaphchat, but I want to keep her in my life and make her my waifu
I know that plenty of people have worse suffering than I do in their own ways. I just want someone that I can actually empathize with for once. I've told people that I've never had a friend or been in a relationship or had a positive experience with family and they're just shocked and don't know what to say.
Remove her off snapchat too, preferably remove the app altogether if you can since it's a mental illness oven. She's never coming back, and you shouldn't wait for her to. What you can do is use all the experience from your mistakes to have a better relationship with someone else. You'll be okay as long as you keep working.
sometimes, parents and children just have incompatible personalities. If you don't want them to hate you, do something nice for them: eg, learn a recipe, a pie or something, practice it until it's good, then bring one to their house along with some beer.
>It really helped me create a positive image of myself
How did it do that? I don't think that's possible in my cause unless the book teaches me to be in denial about how much of a loser I am.
>I actually know a engineer that is very clically depressed, but he volunteers at the science center with me and likes it, you should try that out.
There's no places like that here that I can volunteer at.
>I’m a white guy at a shitty university with mediocre lifts and I’m 5’10.
I have no lifts and I'm 5'6"
>I still find a way to make myself unique by doing things to make me stand out and I do things to help people.
How?
>Try and work somewhere where you work matters and you arent engineering spoons. Practice more often just saying why things you do are important or wo they help.
I can't. It's literally the only job I could land and the alternatives aren't really any more meaningful since everyone here is just trying to survive in an era of budget cuts.
This will sound like I'm throwing your suggestion in your face, but my parents literally don't drink (neither do I) and they are so picky about food that they would never appreciate anything like that, and it just seems so shallow anyways.
what have you done to make them like you, not to sound a dick but as you become an adult parent don't have an infinite amount of love for you anymore, same as a friendship you need to contribute to it to keep it healthy
They hated me even when I was a kid. On multiple occasions I heard them mocking me for my social anxiety and they flat out lied and denied it to my face when I confronted them.
Gonna do pic related next week. I'm also gonna fast, and I have plenty of books stocked. Honestly, I would have done this sooner but I couldn't because I was constantly texting my girlfriend. She broke up with me yesterday though, so now I finally will. I'm also going to be practicing karate a lot next week, which hopefully won't mess it up but my belt exam is soon and I want to show my sensei I'm ready. Any tips? Anyone done this before? Oh and I'll probably be doing OMAD during it.
if this is true you shouldn't focus on making them like you, you should be focusing on not caring about them, people like that won't add anything good to your life mate
>This will sound like I'm throwing your suggestion in your face, but my parents literally don't drink (neither do I) and they are so picky about food that they would never appreciate anything like that, and it just seems so shallow anyways.
I often bring my mum's favourite dessert when I visit. Such things show that you thought about them and took the time to do something for them. I don't think it's shallow.
tldr?
Read it. Trust me, it's worth it. But essentially it says to just read and lift for a week and you'll reset your bad habits.
Take a break from social media breh
What are you even expecting from them by telling them about your experience? Your suffering can be stop by your own hands, what the other user said is true. Believing that you're special, no one understands how you feel is a form of entitlement. Read 'The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck' and start living a base as fuck life. Why are you waiting for life to happen? Make it happen
Clearly I'm entitled because I have extreme depression and anxiety and nobody has been able to approach the issues honestly with me. Clearly I just need to man up and ignore everything since obviously it was so easy for everyone else to do.
Don't be in denial, do things that make you not a loser. Lift, eat better, meet and hang out with people. Clean your room, i know its dirty rn.
Lift
There's plenty of places you can volunteer at, just look around.
So look into what you can do to make finding a new job easier, go to school, get certified in something. Its possible, family merber of mine is going back as an engineer now.
Go watch some of Jordan Petersons videos on YouTube, just click and listen
after adding 5 pounds a workout i am about to hit 1pl8 squat
slow and steady
These things are usually self-diagnosed man, you truly believe yourself that there's something wrong with you. Which means its just a matter of changing your beliefs. Why do you require someone else to help you? Just do it yourself man.
I was in similar place as you, but after reading the book I realized it was just my way of thinking that made me that way. My habits haven't changed much but my outlook on life is infinitely better.
>Don't be in denial, do things that make you not a loser. Lift, eat better, meet and hang out with people. Clean your room, i know its dirty rn.
Well, for starters I don't lift because I don't know how, and I also think that I might be trans and that would ruin my body further. I'm "eating better" right now in the sense that I'm cutting to lose weight, but I can't even find the energy or motivation to do cardio. My room is only "dirty" from the 100-200 hairs that fall out from my balding head daily. I've tried going to bars to "meet and hang out with people" but it always ends with me just sitting there feeling awkward because I don't drink and having too much anxiety to approach anyone.
>There's plenty of places you can volunteer at, just look around.
I've researched extensively what sorts of "volunteering" I can do in my area and since it's a small town, literally all there is is mentoring or tutoring of children, something I'm not mature enough to handle.
>So look into what you can do to make finding a new job easier, go to school, get certified in something. Its possible, family merber of mine is going back as an engineer now.
I already have a job in the only field that I like - and am smart enough to do. I have other things that I like but I'm not smart enough to do them and they're to competitive to get a job in.
>These things are usually self-diagnosed man
What?
>you truly believe yourself that there's something wrong with you. Which means its just a matter of changing your beliefs
What???
How can I "fix" my anxiety by changing my beliefs?
>Why do you require someone else to help you? Just do it yourself man.
I was in similar place as you, but after reading the book I realized it was just my way of thinking that made me that way.
Because I need a real person to talk to about this and the only way is through a therapist, but a therapist would just lock me up in a psych ward instead of helping.
bump
In my case my anxiety was just the case of me caring too much about what others think. Ever since I stopped caring I have not had any more anxiety at all. Look I'm not making a claim to know your whole situation, I'm just trying to tell you what works for me. There's no fixed formulae, try everything.
I'm starting to believe that you truly don't want help at all and nothing I say will help you, you're probably not in the mood/mindset to change.
Different user here. We're social animals, it's normal that we help each other. This board is about helping each other, too. I find it strange that when it comes to mental problems, everyone on here just says that they should deal with it themselves.
First of all, how do you know that 'these things' are usually self-diagnosed? Have you done any research on that?
>I'm starting to believe that you truly don't want help at all and nothing I say will help you, you're probably not in the mood/mindset to change.
Yes, I think you're right, and that's why I'm suicidal.
You are the type of person who has an excuse literally for everything. Get your shit together
attempting to build a more attractive face. I have some acne that I'm in the process of getting rid of, and I've been doing jaw exercises at night before bed. What else should I do? I have kind of chubby cheeks yet lower (14%) bf, so I've been drinking more water.
Has anyone got good guides or info/tips on raising your social media presence (especially instagram)?
For business or personal?
Preferably business but either would be useful.
>>What are you working on this next week to self improve?
nothing
>>How will you tackle any obstacles that you have before you?
i won't
>>What advice can you give to people who may be starting out, or struggling?
these threads are pointless if you have social anxiety because you're the only person who can take that first step and chances are if you're able to that you don't even have anxiety
Running and cold showers both work for depression.
grow a beard?
post your ass
How can everyday men, especially those of us living in the west where life is relatively comfortable, develop more of a warrior mindset and overall ethic? How can one strike that balance between being kind and gentle while also having the ability to take anyone or anything down that crosses your path?
I really want to, and wish I could, but I believe its the hormones in my brain making me think this. Any advice?
>these threads are pointless if you have social anxiety because you're the only person who can take that first step and chances are if you're able to that you don't even have anxiety
THIS
>Any advice?
dont waste time on any female jew in the future
Read evola
I could use some advice
How do you stay strong and keep going down the path of /sig/ when you have gains goblins and people in your life who want to push you down every time
Yeah yeah. You're on the glorious path of self-improvement, and everyone around you is trying to sabotage your progress.
I live in the West as well. Warrior mindset is not a good idea, generally. It leaves you vulnerable and at mercy of someone else.
Honestly, communities like Jow Forums, Jordan Peterson stuff, and reading is what's best.
Would you care to elaborate on how it leaves you vulnerable and at the mercy of someone else?
While reading, watching certain personalities speak, and partaking in online communities can act as the seeds for ones awakening, I feel as though there needs to be more of a focus on emodying the ideas and virtues we read or hear about. How do we do it? How do we practice those things in the face of a world whose current seems to run opposite of ours?
In what way are you being put down and by whom? Is it overt or subtle? The distinction is important since the latter runs the risk of being a matter of perception.
Well, for once, the world is more globalised than ever, and ideological battles are everywhere. How can you be sure that being a warrior for someone else's interests will be beneficial to you?
I do agree that we need to transfer that into practice. That is more of a individual thing, however. Society will not support us much as it is now, so communities like this and reading is where we find what we need.
>think that I might be trans
Might as well kill yourself now.
In the same ways that men always have, I figure. The great thing about a good warrior mindset is that it enables you to achieve success regardless of your environment.
I agree.
Hmm i see.
It would be nice if there were actual, that is, physical communities one could find that help facilitate growth. I imagine religious groups would be good for this, however, my experience with them thus far has been lackluster. There is no focus on discipline, training, or even being a better person for that matter. The recitation of feel goods and truisms were the norm.
Try joining a fraternal order.
Do it anyway. You'll never get anything done in life if you let resistance stop you.
That's kind of my point, I have some people in my life right now trying to put me down and this happened recently so fresh in my mind
Best thing to do is be better than them and actually achieve what they dont want you to achieve
I had the same mentality. When I was 15.
Easiest option is to just cut them out of your life as much as is possible. Even if it isn't totally their fault or if it's really inconvenient. I liked my old friends but I just couldn't deal with the constant overeating and drinking every time I was around them so I stopped hanging out with them. The hit to my social life sucked but it was way easier to stick to my gains so I considered it worthwhile.
The overwhelming majority of people aren't ever doing things personally against you, just for themselves. Even the outwardly malicious people are usually just mis-handling their own internal problems. Achieve things you want to achieve and stop factoring other people into it.
Yea, I already cut them out but occasionally I have to talk to them so that;'s where I noticed this behavior against me
Anyone has any practical tips to build confidence? I'm pretty good at my hobbies and studies and have good friends, but I always second-guess myself and have trouble standing up for myself.
Grats dude I want to see you posting about a 2pl8 squat soon!
I feel you on this one. I'm starting to think enrolling in a martial arts school and sticking with it for a while may help in this department. I'm really looking to trying it out. Perhaps you should do so as well. Good luck!
Try joining a sporting club surrounded by other men. I am in a rowing and rock climbing club whilst going boxing twice a week. I presume by a warrior you meant in the mind rather than brawling outside the pub?
Not who you were responding to, but i find myself in a similar situation lately. How did you recover with regards to your social life?
That is precisely what i meant. That being said, i would like to have the confidence and ability to defend myself in such a situation. I'd rather not get into a pub brawl, but if i was backed into a corner, I'd like to know that i am capable of handling myself.
I'm definitely considering joining a muay thai-bjj gym, especially since a coworker of mine has invitied me to go train at his gym.
How are the boxing classes going for you?
I just made new friends, specifically looking for people more advanced in whatever interest I'm pursuing at the time. I've found that being more discerning about who I spend time with makes a huge difference in my quality of life. If I surround myself with people who I admire in some way I'm much better off for it, and I've got no reason to waste time with anyone else.
Good, interesting new "friends" mostly all chavs and young kids but I'm helping one of them get into college to learn a trade and another is reading a book I recommended. Selflessly helping other people who want to better themselves is very rewarding, just be careful of those who wish to take advantage of your own good nature.
Make a thread showing your results. This pic looks like bs, never heard of someone that actually did it
Has anyone else been growing up in a broken family?
>Bi-polar mother
>lazy father
>noone really gave two shits about you
>poor
I hate the fuck that I've been literally handicapped and only when I turned 18 had the chance to get a grip.
whats the best fish oil on the market?
>never heard of someone that actually did it
You will.
is arnold press good for beginners? i want to get big shoulders and arnold was a mighty fine specimen
This works extremely well. Walk away completely and don't let them know you think of them at all.
I think it comes from going to school with people who diagnose themselves and then later on working with people who constantly have 'illnesses'. Because these people stick out they're over represented in our thoughts when people talk of their afflictions.
Taking a motorcycle course this weekend and will get my license next week
The theory behind it is sound. I'll do it and try to make a thead two weeks or so from now. If it works I'll know.
>What are you working on this next week to self improve?
I'm going to read "Engineering Mechanics: Statics by Hibbeler" because I want to be ready for college
>How will you tackle any obstacles that you have before you?
Well I didn't pass the admission test for my career but I still have the opportunity to show them that I'm competent with my curriculum and the interview, I'll try to be more competent and start cooking because I'm going to live by myself for a while
>What advice can you give to people who may be starting out or struggling?
Well 10 Km or 45 pounds will always feel like 10 km or 45 pounds, people don't have this super power to feel less than what it really is. So keep lifting and keep running, because every extra mile and every extra weight will be as important as the last one.
I have anxiety and am managing SIG and my anxieties pretty bad, what are you wanting to do that your anxieties stopping you from? see above
1/3 of my way through my first bulk.
No drinking
No dating
Just work, lift, read and repeat.
YOU NEED TO MOVE ON
You start of by treating yourself and those that matter to you, with great respect. Your body is your temple so stop eating shit and soda, and start eating healthy (pic related).
Exercise every day, be grateful for those things that makes you live a good life and improve those things that lack greatness to your life.
Be protective of your family, your friends and to your community (tribe). Stand up for them and they will do the same for you. Love your family and they will love you.
Have great ideals, greater visions and the greatest mindset and motivation of your community. Be a rolemodel for the younger and treat elders with care and respect.
Some of the many tips for a man in today’s society.
Anyone here into Financial Trading? Where did you start? What did you learn first?
manual trading is a meme. if you are doing quant stuff then its legit desu
Should I volunteer?
I'm a pathetic NEET and usually selfish and only care about myself.
Tbh my only social contacts are family and people at the gym.
I found something in my town and it's not dirty work.
It's helping refugees or some shit like that.
>It's helping refugees or some shit like that.
Can't you find something that is less pathetic? I mean, its a good idea to actually do something, but this is laughable.
I know, but maybe years of Jow Forumsshit got me hard and it's good to see the other side of the story?
Typical neonazi thoughts and remove kebab/retake Constantinople.
Different user. Right, you just do something because you just do. Zero responsibility for your own actions and consequences. Keep it up.
I'm not sure if I understand but I'm going to do it then.
Putting myself out there won't harm me in the long way.
Just proved my point. It's all about you in your eyes. Not what it contributes to in the big picture view in the long run.
Do it. My friend was a shut in for 4 years with no work or qualifications. Volunteering got him out of the house and back into society and he's doing a lot better now.
It's a first step right, better than nothing even I may start for the 'wrong' motives.